https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6 Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 18 Apr 2026 06:05:43 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335691 Sun, 20 Aug 2023 23:13:27 +0000 Barbara Diane 2335691@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Glad to hear that you are doing well and making good choices. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335680 Sun, 20 Aug 2023 20:26:30 +0000 Anonymous 2335680@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>They sound very toxic, and good to be away from the lot, and avoid the negativity on social media as well. Chosen family is the best kind! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335433 Fri, 18 Aug 2023 23:45:51 +0000 Kate 2335433@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry that you and your late mother suffered from such toxic relatives. She was a brave woman to take herself and her young daughter out of that situation. You're smart to build a loving circle of friends around yourself and your husband. I've had several friends whose families of origin did not accept them and their choices and they created their own families of choice, as you have done. You'll find no judgment here, thanks to Angie's careful management of the forum. Wear what pleases you, and makes you happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335430 Fri, 18 Aug 2023 23:15:05 +0000 Bee 2335430@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for taking the time to read my rant and responding! This forum and its members have been extremely welcoming and brought a positive new energy into my life. I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Angie and all of you for being so kind. </p> <p>I have been limiting my presence on social media as well as who has access to my content since I started using it again. </p> <p>Since my mother passed away in 2009, I’ve distanced myself from a lot of my relatives and created a “family” of my own, consisting mostly of my husband, our friends and his family. His father walked me down the aisle at my wedding (despite my own father having been invited, long story there) and passed away a month later. His mother was such a kind, gentle soul and I was so lucky to have her in my life until her passing six years ago. My “step daughter” is a close friend who is exactly 4 years and 364 days younger than me, and also happens to share my name. My brother in law isn’t particularly close to my husband but we get along so well whenever we see each other that I’ve made it my mission to increase his presence in our lives. </p> <p>As for my blood relatives, they were the first to pull away. I was never close to my father and my mother’s family is extremely elitist and tends to exclude “outsiders” who do not meet their standards and socio-economic expectations. I now understand why my mother moved halfway across the world by herself and her 7 year old daughter to live a somewhat lonely and isolated life in a foreign country, despite the presence of a few distant relatives living nearby and having and English Literature Major. She protected me for as long as she could from the constant criticism, negativity and bullying she had suffered her entire life. No wonder she dreaded going back during summer and holiday vacations while I, being too innocent and uninterested to notice anything “off” between the adults, spent the rest of the year looking forward to them. </p> <p>When she died, I finally saw the true colors of her older siblings when I became the the heir to 1/3 of my grandfather’s legacy as the owner of Brazil’s first and at one time largest supermarket chain. They’ve done everything to rob me of my part, including a change to my grandmother’s will only 20 days after my mother’s death, making her sign and addendum that claimed (in words that were obviously not hers and terms that she clearly didn’t understand due to her level of dementia at the time) that I should only receive half of my inheritance due to my alcoholism (completely fabricated!) and the the impact it could have on my type 1 diabetes. Never mind d that she offered me desserts and candy whenever I visited her, as well as money which I always refused as per my own mother’s instructions and had been refusing since childhood (while watching my cousins happily accept and even request). </p> <p>The fact is that after my mothers death, they simply ignored me and left me to fend for myself. Using my husband’s “lack of compatibility” as an excuse, I was excluded from all family gatherings and holiday celebrations. I watched as they posted photos of my grandmothers 90’th birthday on Facebook, with all her children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and their respective spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends posed on the grand staircase of the house where I had happily spent so much of my childhood. Everyone and their dog was invited, except me. So I slowly started excluding them from my social media. I barely use Facebook anymore but a few of them have slowly crept back, mostly via Instagram. Time to do a new sweep I guess. </p> <p>When my husband unexpectedly and out of impulse, proposed that we relocate to Portugal after our first visit in 2017, I jumped at the chance. Many of our friends were already living in Lisbon and many followed since. It’s been quite an adventure but I can’t imagine myself going back on my decision and have absolutely no regrets. I can’t have children but I might adopt someday, who knows… and I want them to grow up surrounded by love, acceptance and kindness. </p> <p>Please forgive me, I’m afraid I’ve nearly written a novel! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335354 Fri, 18 Aug 2023 14:15:22 +0000 Minaminu 2335354@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congratulations on getting better! It's tough to learn to look after yourself but it's so worthy (for you and your loved ones).</p> <p>As for the negative comments and online media, I have learnt that I can protect myself from negative comments by allowing only a few people to see my pictures and posts. It took away all the negative energy and thought in one go! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335343 Fri, 18 Aug 2023 12:44:59 +0000 Star (Lise) 2335343@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You seem to know that what you are doing is right.&nbsp; Try and switch off the negative input.&nbsp; Easier said than done, I know.&nbsp; As Bijou said YLF is a safe, non-judgmental place, which I am sure you have noticed, thanks to Angie setting the example.&nbsp; Engage with the good energy people and ignore the rest.&nbsp; Wear what makes you feel beautiful.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335318 Fri, 18 Aug 2023 07:43:36 +0000 Bijou 2335318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bee unfortunately being online often results in snarky comments, thankfully that is not the case on this forum as it is carefully managed by Angie. I hope you continue on your journey to greater health and happiness. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/new-trends-toxic-relatives-and-mental-health%e2%80%a6#post-2335314 Fri, 18 Aug 2023 04:41:30 +0000 Bee 2335314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’ve lost some weight recently due to increased physical activity and better eating habits since a significant improvement in my mental health. I’m currently somewhere in between an XS/XXS (0/00, 32/34, etc) The problem is I’m already naturally very small so my weight, (combined with some hair loss and pre-tied headscarf addiction) has drawn some negative comments and speculation from relatives and acquaintances, mostly online. Ironically, these people had absolutely nothing to say when I was actually sick and practically disappeared from social media. My real friends and “family” (mostly unrelated by blood but beloved regardless) know me well enough to see that I’m on the mend and encourage me to keep on posting photos and wearing the skimpy, form fitting clothes I love and resist the urge to hide behind these new baggy, oversized trends (and possibly sink back into depression by doing so). Luckily, I made a bulk purchase of high waisted skinny fit pants in every fabric, wash, color and print imaginable. This was a few years ago when mom jeans started to become popular and I sensed a shift towards looser fitting pants in general. I plan on another (size-updated) shopping spree asap… for the sake of my sanity. Wish me luck! </p>