https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 23:23:29 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-385369 Sat, 16 Jul 2011 01:08:53 +0000 Aida 385369@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Woo! So glad you were able to return the jeans. Onto better, more comfortable jeans for you </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-385341 Sat, 16 Jul 2011 00:31:23 +0000 MsMary 385341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay!! Success on all counts!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-385328 Sat, 16 Jul 2011 00:15:50 +0000 Katja 385328@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jeans-returning success! Thank you, ladies, I owe you all an ice-cream sundae (or the moral equivalent).</p> <p>Back to the quest for perfection - reading the responses here, there are clearly different philosophies of searching/shopping/buying/wearing! Absolutes are no good - obviously there's almost nothing (clothing or accessories) that will really last forever, and even if it did, what is the likelihood you'd want to wear it as a 20 year old and as 70 year old (gold ring? diamond ring? pearls?).</p> <p>At the same time, rather than making me anxious or nervous, it makes me feel relieved to think that I don't have to find something new and trendy every 5 minutes (yes, exaggerating). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-385295 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 23:43:29 +0000 Aida 385295@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another thing about all this, it's much easier to wait for "the perfect piece" when you've already got things in your wardrobe to suffice until then; if you're starting over from scratch, waiting for those perfect items could mean you have, literally, nothing to wear until then. Which is why, for me, I have several items that are "good enough for now", things that I bought so I could be clothed with the caveat that I will be replacing them with their "perfect" version when I find it. And waiting for perfect pieces certainly generally works better for staple, classic items, versus trendier short-season items. I think you need some sort of balance there, as well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-385025 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 16:09:12 +0000 Kate 385025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The same blog had a post today that I think adds to this conversation. She writes:</p> <p>First: Carefully Curated. Each garment has to make the cut. I've heard some fairly harsh criticism recently that "good enough" is really okay for one's wardrobe, and I have to disagree. Yes, in some circumstances we do have to settle for less than ideal, but that should NEVER be the standard we set for ourselves. We deserve better. People who make clothing deserve better. The planet deserves better.</p> <p>Secondly: Deliberately Distilled. We don't need so much stuff. We need nicer things, better quality things, things we will love more, use more, and legitimately wear out. We do this on purpose, not because we're stingy or snotty, but because we want to focus on truly beautiful and crafted items that are worthy of support. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-384772 Fri, 15 Jul 2011 07:59:35 +0000 Polly (thunalata) 384772@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting post Katja. It reminded me of the times when Angie has mentioned that she's looking for a particular item (black tux jacket springs to mind) but it doesn't appear until she does find the perfect one.</p> <p>I do agree that the perfect item exists if you have the patience and focus to find it. I think that it can take a lot of time to find the perfect item - first you have to be clear in your mind what you're looking for and then spend the time hunting in suitable places. </p> <p>As someone who used to buy 'things that would do' from a selection available in eg sales from good quality shops I am now moving towards having a clearer idea of what I want but not always the time to go shopping and try things on.</p> <p>Your post makes me more determined to seek out the perfect! Thank you! And good luck with your jeans! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-384474 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 21:01:14 +0000 Kate 384474@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katja, Shop Your Closet means not shopping in the stores, so basically it's a euphemism for a shopping ban. I don't think it's necessary or even useful for many people, but I think it can be helpful if you want to pause, reset some habits, and perhaps focus on something other than shopping for a while. Some people put the money towards other things and some save up for a big purchase as a reward at the end. A lot of the specific rules are up to the individual. </p> <p>Regardless of SYC, I think stopping to think before buying anything is always a good idea! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-384468 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 20:55:02 +0000 Aziraphale 384468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katja, that's an interesting clip you posted, and I agree with it at least partially. I like the idea of owning fewer, higher quality things. On the other hand, you can make yourself crazy if you refuse to buy anything unless it's absolutely perfect. It's like shopping with my mom. Shopping with her is a frustrating experience. For example, she's been looking for a new sofa for, I kid you not, fifteen years. She refuses to spend that kind of money unless it's the sofa of her dreams. In the meantime, they have this revolting threadbare olive green sofa covered in stains. So there's got to be a happy medium, yes?</p> <p>I read recently that one hundred years ago, most people owned fewer than one hundred "things" (not including clothes) in their entire lifetimes. These things include such items as tools, toys, musical instruments, etc. Because people owned relatively little, what they did own they took great care of. Also, craftsmanship was far superior, on the whole, to what you see today. Again, there's a balance to be struck, because I'm sure a lot of those people back then would have been glad of a few more "things," or at least the opportunity to replace worn-out things. However, I am definitely a BIG supporter of quality craftsmanship. For example, I own very little jewellery, but what I do have are one-of-a-kind pieces made out of high-quality metal or leather by local artists. With clothes and objects, I'm more likely to save up and buy something beautiful that I love than waste money on crap from Walmart. Still, there are some things I don't shell out for...like the camisoles I buy by the dozen from American Apparel. Some things just wear out, no matter how much you spend on them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-384450 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 20:31:15 +0000 Katja 384450@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, Aida, Rae, BJ and Denise, I've rounded up the tags and I'll try to return the jeans tomorrow.</p> <p>I'll take a look at both Paige and Sevens.</p> <p>I think a corollary of the idea that you have fewer things of better quality is that you are more likely to be able to find something suitable in your closet for whatever occasion (maybe not an inaugural ball...). I've never quite understood Shop Your Closet (is shopping your closet different from finding something to wear in your closet?), but like the idea of pausing when you're tempted to buy something and thinking about whether you already have something that serves the same purpose (how many black pencil skirts does one person really need?). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-384099 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 06:55:34 +0000 CocoLion 384099@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Katja, I would definitely try and return them. Do you still have the tags (in addition to the receipt)? That helps, but even if not, I think you stand a chance.</p> <p>My advice: be nice, ask nicely! Second, I would advise you to suggest you received a defective pair. Honestly a high-waisted pair of jeans should not ride down your butt like that, that's what makes me think you could *suggest* they are defective. Would you also be happy with a merchandise credit? That might be easier for a SA to process than a full refund.</p> <p>I love premium denim, and my favorite brand is 7 for All Mankind. I have a few high-waisted pair that I love (9 inch rise). Did you try those? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383978 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 01:36:13 +0000 Katja 383978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <blockquote><p>Katja...I've go three words for you: Paige Premium Denim</p> <p>Life-changing jeans....I promise!</p></blockquote> <p>That's what Joe's Jeans were supposed to be! But I'll go look at them.</p> <blockquote><p>try to return it --exude confidence like it's the most natural thing in the world--the worse thing that could happen is they say no and you're no worse than you are now.</p></blockquote> <p>As I went past my dresser just now the Macy's receipt fell into my lap, so I guess it's a sign!</p> <p>Now if I can just get my car out of the shop (day 8 and counting - but that's a whole 'nother story) I'll go to Macy's and see what I can do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383943 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 00:49:53 +0000 nancylee 383943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katja...I've go three words for you: Paige Premium Denim</p> <p>Life-changing jeans....I promise! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383938 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 00:42:05 +0000 bj1111 383938@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>katja, i just returned a used swimsuit that slightly squeezed my torso and made it a teensy bit hard to swim. but the main reason i returned it was that it made me look like my mom. i also just returned a used bra because the band and strap gave me a slight rash at the end of a hot sweaty day. (i know that this behavior is informed _my_ ethics and expectations of customer service...on the other hand, nordies sure scored major points and i will be sure to purchase from those SA's the next time i'm in there.)</p> <p>try to return it --exude confidence like it's the most natural thing in the world--the worse thing that could happen is they say no and you're no worse than you are now. if i get some push back, i usually say something like "i really should have gotten this at nordstroms. i've been able to return merchandise that does not meet my expectations of wear. i had hoped macy's would be the same." </p> <p>my mother in law gets a great response when she enlists the salesperson's sympathy..."i know my daughter in law, she's not going to be satisfied unless x/y/z happens." </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383931 Thu, 14 Jul 2011 00:27:52 +0000 Barbara 383931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katja, My motto has always been NEVER SETTLE and I usually do just that. </p> <p>But in the real world, sometimes you have to go to PLAN B!</p> <p>I do strive for excellence in ALL of my handiwork, whether it's knit, crocheted, painted or wire wrapped. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383909 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 23:52:21 +0000 Kate 383909@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This appeals to me in a big way! I'm currently SYC until the end of the year because I've realized I already own more than I need, and I need to seriously rethink how I shop. I've progressed in leaps and bounds since finding YLF, but I have a lot further to go.</p> <p>I'm taking this time to learn more about where my clothes come from, and better get to the point where I focus on the "support geniuses and craftspersons, and beautify the world" aspect, as well as supporting the people who produce and harvest the materials that eventually become my clothes. I may never get down to a 30 item wardrobe like the author's friend Vivienne, but I could certainly be just as happy with a lot less than my current 86 clothes (that's excluding gear, shoes, and accessories). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383873 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:50:50 +0000 MsMary 383873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just realized something... my Satisficer tendencies probably explain why, as we discussed on another thread recently, my most favorite pieces tend to be serendipitous finds rather than items I've planned for. Because if I am looking for a blue blazer and a perfectly good blue blazer comes along, I'll snap it up and wear it a lot and not worry overmuch whether it makes my heart skip a beat. On the other hand, if something jumps off the rack or shelf and follows me home there's a good chance it did so because it really IS The Perfect Thing. (See, e.g., pink patent pumps with rainbow striped heels!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383872 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:48:41 +0000 Anonymous 383872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Both these links are so interesting. I'm a maximizer, although it can drive me nuts. I can't help myself. On the other hand I tend to get overly influenced by others when shopping (friends, SA's) and get talked into buying something that may look fine but isn't really what I want or need. It happened again at NAS this week with a tweed Halogen jacket. Then I agonize over whether to keep it or return. Usually it's a relief if I can return it.<br /> I'll be in maximizer overload until I find the perfect mother-of-the-groom dress for DS's wedding next summer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383869 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:45:23 +0000 Freckles 383869@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like the idea in principle but oftentimes life gets in the way.</p> <p>Two years ago I needed a pair of dress black shoes for my fussy feet to go to a wedding. I had been looking for the shoes for the past five years and nope none in sight so I ended up buying a pair the wrong style for the wedding.</p> <p>Styles and tastes change as you roll along in life also so very often something you decided was perfect will not be ten years later.</p> <p>Then there is my sister... She has fussy fussy ears, has to wear 18K even the posts. Bought one pair of earrings at 18, wears them every day and have stayed with her for life being no less perfect today at 54 than they were at 18. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383863 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:36:35 +0000 MsMaven 383863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm guilty of buying stuff I think is just "good enough." Sometimes I send it back, but other times I don't. I just tried on a jacket I bought several months ago, and it is too small. What was I thinking? </p> <p>I need to be a bit more patient and while I despair of perfection, I think that at least 98% should be my goal. So those black Via Spiga boots I bought at the NAS--I'm taking them back tomorrow. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383859 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:32:45 +0000 Katja 383859@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <blockquote><p>Can you return the jeans? That's a lot to spend for something you don't love, nor fits well </p></blockquote> <p>That's a good question. I've pulled all the tags off, I've worn them a couple of times, I don't think I've spilled anything on them, and I haven't washed them. I'd be hesitant, but maybe Macy's would take them back. What do you guys think?</p> <blockquote><p>If you can't return them, can you consign or resell them? </p></blockquote> <p>Also a good suggestion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383858 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:32:45 +0000 rae 383858@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Katja, I must have been typing when you posted about your jeans! It can be so tricky to tell if a beautiful, high-quality item is perfect for you... If you can't return them, can you consign or resell them? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383855 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:27:11 +0000 Aida 383855@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another on Team Satisficer (EDIT: Actually, I am somewhere right in the middle of the two now), BUT I do make sure that things fit, flatter, and are in line with my style goals. I'm starting to change my shopping habits though; if there's something I know I will be wearing for years (e.g. nude pump), I'll get one that's "pretty darn close" to use NOW but keep my eyes peeled for "the one" and get it if I find it. Like Mary, in general there isn't much I'll want to wear My Whole Life.</p> <p>Katja, I think you're totally right in saying "don't settle for something that doesn't actually meet the criteria"! Just define what that criteria is so you know exactly what you can consider keeping. Can you return the jeans? That's a lot to spend for something you don't love, nor fits well </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383844 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:17:31 +0000 rae 383844@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Count me on Team Satisficer! </p> <p>"Settle for NOTHING LESS THAN PERFECTION. You deserve it."<br /> I do agree with this part. But well, part of my crieteria for "perfect" might be that I can use it THIS season. And if I'm looking for the perfect cat print dress, then waiting for one that makes me look like Jessica Alba might mean I miss out on one that is still pretty dang flattering and can be enjoyed for years as a stop-gap. </p> <p>"...if you fully intend to own many of your accessories for the rest of your life, you can easily justify buying the very best item being made today."<br /> That's one HUGE "if" there. Especially since skin and hair pigments change with age, there is no way to know if I will be abel to wear anything the rest of my life. And the "best item being made today" might not be perfect for ME and my lifestyle/style/budget. If I bought the best watch available, I might well have to go nekkid...</p> <p>Don't get me wrong, I love the spirit of the post, and I subscribe to the idea of not settling for any old shirt that does its job covering my back. I just find this particular quote a little dogmatic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383841 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:14:51 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 383841@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My first reaction is that the idea of this makes me ridiculously *anxious*. If I had to make every purchase perfect, I would never buy anything! Katja, you definitely deserve to have things that work for you - my rule, since I thrift and buy on sale a lot, is to ask myself whether I'd pay full price for it. If not, then I probably shouldn't buy it even if it is cheap.</p> <p>I am OK with "pretty good" some of the time - ready-to-wear is not always going to fit everyone perfectly anyway, and I am not a big accessories person so I can't imagine owning something for the rest of my life, bar maybe my wedding and engagement rings. </p> <p>I did enjoy reading the blog though. I'm strangely attracted to all these capsule wardrobe plans. I sew and there's a sewing board that has a challenge every year based on a series of articles in Australian Stitches about creating a core wardrobe all of which goes together - 11 pieces IIRC. </p> <p>I've never managed to make it work for me, though. I always want something that I don't have, or two items don't quite work together even though they should on paper. I have gotten better about travel capsule wardrobes - I've learned to just choose knits for the most part, and limit my color palette. It works but I don't feel totally myself in it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383828 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 22:02:05 +0000 Katja 383828@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the link to the Happiness Project page, Mary. I'd say Vivienne's comment resonated with me because I'm always settling for things that don't even satisfy the requirements (much less maximizing them), like the premium jeans I just bought THAT DON'T FIT. It makes me sick that I spent $185 for something that I'm uncomfortable wearing. I wish the little voice in my head had said, "These aren't right, and you don't have to settle for them."</p> <p>So I'd say her mandate (at least to me as the reader) is don't settle for something that doesn't actually meet the criteria!</p> <p>On a side rant, can I just say (I'm talking to you, Joe's Jeans) that jeans that fall just below the belly button in front and well below the butt crack in back when the wearer is seated can by no stretch of the imagination be called "High Waist"? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383809 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 21:30:00 +0000 MsMary 383809@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Huh. Super interesting! I'm not sure I agree, though. </p> <p>On the "settle for nothing less than perfection" front, she is obviously a maximizer as opposed to a satisficer (<a href="http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2006/06/are_you_a_satis.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.happiness-project.c.....satis.html</a>). Me personally, I tend to be a satisficer -- if I find something that meets my criteria (sailor-striped top, cotton, the right color, fits well enough) I'll buy it on the spot rather than torturing myself over whether it is the PERFECT ONE.</p> <p>Second, as we've discussed before, I don't know whether there is such a thing as an accessory that I'll want to own and use for the rest of my life. The fact is styles change and I don't know that I want to be wedded to, say, a multi-thousand-dollar rose gold Rolex that totally says "2011" for the rest of my life. And if I do choose to participate in the rose gold watch trend, I don't need the very best one being made today.</p> <p>And third, although her "core wardrobe" and accessories are lovely, I'd be, uh, bored. I like a bigger wardrobe and am willing to sacrifice top-of-the-line-quality-in-all-things to get there.</p> <p>But... FASCINATING READ!! I will be spending some time on that blog today! Thanks, Katja! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/never-settle-for-less-than-perfection#post-383800 Wed, 13 Jul 2011 21:14:25 +0000 Katja 383800@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I read this today:</p> <blockquote><p> I learn more and more every day as I build these vignettes for our shared pleasure: you should be ABSOLUTELY FANATICALLY DEMANDING when you purchase anything. There is a world of merchandise out there, and the perfect item exists, if you have the patience and the focus to find it. Settle for NOTHING LESS THAN PERFECTION. You deserve it. And if you fully intend to own many of your accessories for the rest of your life, you can easily justify buying the very best item being made today - support geniuses and craftspersons, and beautify the world.</p></blockquote> <p>Source: <a href="http://theviviennefiles.blogspot.com/2011/07/french-chic-core-wardrobe-is.html" rel="nofollow">http://theviviennefiles.blogsp.....be-is.html</a></p> <p>Lots of other good stuff there, too. </p>