https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 16 May 2026 13:51:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368371 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 08:27:32 +0000 ButterflyLady 368371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I empathise. I find myself getting dressed in the morning thinking 'what's the point?' I quite like the days I work out, as I know what I will be wearing (I have a workable gear capsule), and that it's appropriate!</p> <p>But other days, I am mostly at home - reading, cleaning, laundry, a little gardening, caring for my son, and from October I will be studying 3 hours a day. And no-one really sees me. But if I do manage to put together an outfit I like, I feel so much better all day. One of my problems is that I just don't have the building blocks for suitable outfits (and dealing with our unpredictable British weather), so I am trying to make a mental list of things I look for to complete an outfit, but just don't have, so that when I have the money I can buy them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368349 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 05:37:59 +0000 CocoLion 368349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh yes, dog days of summer syndrome. </p> <p>I am another one here who can so relate! I purchase many things for an imaginary (former) lifestyle. For years I lived in coastal CA urban areas. Cooler temps and hipper environment, with so many more things to dress up for. Now I live in the mountains, sort of like Tahoe but less developed and more hayseed! 90% of my time is spent in either loungewear or work attire. And you know I am a server who wears (nice) t's and jeans and practical footwear. Gear factors in too. Only one day a week do I get to dress the way that really reflects my style. Other days, practicality rules. </p> <p>On another note, I keep looking for really fab loungewear and keep thinking there is a business / design opportunity to make things that don't all look alike. As in, seen one loungewear outfit, seen 'em all. Look at how Juicy Couture started. They identified the need for chic loungewear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368339 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 04:21:36 +0000 san 368339@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mo, I totally understand what you are talking about and I think it is quite common amoung we fashionistas who a lot of times have no where to go on a regular basis. We still love style but we know that we aren't going to get the house cleaned or yoga done in our beautiful things so it's get up and put on the yoga clothes.<br /> I'm glad your run helped you feel better. Exercise always does that for the mind. It sounds like your ankle is better!! Great. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368330 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 03:47:26 +0000 Steph 368330@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I totally understand and empathize. I have an addiction to cocktail-type dresses (most are slightly more casual than a true cocktail dress, but not much). As a result, I have a ton of dresses, and not many places to wear them. We do go out to a nice dinner about once a week, so I can wear them then, but often they feel too dressy, and I certainly can't wear them to go to the grocery store or the mall. </p> <p>I spend most of my time at home as well, and like you, I can't justify wearing my nice clothes only to watch them get full of cat fur. I don't have much advice, just wanted you to know you aren't alone! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368328 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 03:29:47 +0000 celia 368328@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I relate to your issue completely. When I moved to Canada I had a small baby , no friends and no where I could go and dress nicely,especially in winter I had some very bad moments of 'what's the purpose? '<br /> At the time I decided to create a blog where I could show what I dressed and what new places I got to know. At a certain point I actually schedueled visits on the weekend to places so that I could talk about them during the week when I knew I would be at home.<br /> Now that she's bigger(and we have friends) I have more ocasions to dress above the playground casual but I still have those moments.I simply decided to take the Scarlet O'Hara aproach 'Tomorrow it's another day'.<br /> Talking about the need to shop for the 'holes' in your wardrobe, I guess like any other thing that makes you happy 'playing ' with outfits for possible situations will always be on your mind, but as someone mentioned, you are very reasonable with what you buy and do not make choices so far away from your lifestyle, so please enjoy.</p> <p>Wearing the clothes you have and not saving them for the perfect day to wear them when they will still be with that 'new' smell and feel(can you tell that I'm also guilty of this particular thing?) my advice is : just go away and wear them, is as simple and as dificult as that .The more you do it the more you'll get use to it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368320 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 03:15:47 +0000 Anonymous 368320@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I was a girl my Mom had me change out of my school clothes and hang them up the minute I came home, which I dutifully did every single day. I continued this habit into my adult working days. For years I separated my "school clothes" from those I wore in my casual life. It took years for me to realize that I could wear any of my clothes any time, and so now I do! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368294 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 02:33:21 +0000 Mo 368294@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for understanding, gals! Just a perfect storm of influences to get me wound up about it all. I am actually making great headway in putting together a wardrobe that works for me. Some of the dresses that hang there and mock me are pre YLF and the others are climate hampered at the moment lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368289 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 02:25:45 +0000 rae 368289@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm glad you are feeling better! I get the same way sometimes, only because I can only wear my dressy office clothes and my cute casual stuff gets neglected. I may have mentioned before that I've been known to have several wardrobe changes over the weekend, just so that I can work my way through the casual side of my closet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368285 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 02:14:38 +0000 Freckles 368285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry you were having a tough morning. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368245 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 00:20:38 +0000 Mo 368245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yep - guilty! I decided to go for a very hot, very sweaty, very buggy run. And I feel sooo much better.<br /> Sorry! I do have trouble with summers here and I know what sparked it all. The print dress I saw at Target online yesterday. I got to thinking 'why on earth would you need another dress when you don't wear the ones you have?!'. Well, ends up the reason it would work for me is that it probably is a lot more 'durable' being a woven but still comfy as a knit because of it's looser construction. Anyway, glad I got this all worked out and thanks again for letting me vent and think out loud!! (I do still need more opportunities to dress up here, for sure!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368244 Fri, 17 Jun 2011 00:17:21 +0000 Queen Mum 368244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was thinking maybe you need to get involved with something.. volunteering, find a circle of "ladies who lunch" LOL.....or something to give you a reason to dress up and get out of the house. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368232 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 23:44:58 +0000 Jonesy 368232@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wonder if you're just going a little stir crazy! You are finally feeling better, and now it's scorching outside. Is there a way you could plan one or two outings in the evening each week, beyond the dining out? Like, a trip to Target, the library, a movie, a stroll around the neighborhood, whatever...When it's cooler out, and you can sport some of your fab non-lounge clothes, and you won't feel so cooped up, maybe? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368202 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 22:24:14 +0000 Mo 368202@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for helping me snap out of it, Auburn and Una especially! I do tend to 'save' clothes but have been getting better with that. I think I was doing fine until BAM - I twisted the ankle and I couldn't even walk for many weeks. Then by the time I could, BAM - 90+ degrees had descended upon us. So, yeah, I guess I'm just stuck at home a lot more than even before. Although I have been trying to get crossover items that work in more than one area, I am slowly regressing to loungewear and hiding inside from the heat so I'm not even getting the wear out of the casual stuff that I was prior. I think the dog days of summer are getting to me. And unfortunately, even if I get an outfit together just for the post office or grocery, it has been sweated through and through and does need a wash even with only one hour of wear. :/<br /> This too shall pass!! Thanks for the virtual smack upside the head Auburn I do keep within a budget and (I think) make purchases with intent and forethought.<br /> By the way, I'm still in the damn yoga clothes - argh.</p> <p> EDIT: Una, I'm finding I'm not wearing my dresses specifically. I have worn every top and skirt bought this year, but I have several recently purchased dresses still hanging - the mod shift, the pink stripe maxi, and the multi colored silk 'wedding' dress (understandably haven't worn it yet!). The part about wearing down the clothing is that my knit dresses I *have* actually been wearing are fading and/or pilling and fast becoming loungewear category due to their increasing shabbiness! So I guess I'm just having a dress issue along with a dread of the long hot summer issue, along with being tired of living away from home issue. Thanks for letting me vent a little :)<br /> On a brighter note: We are going to Jacksonville this weekend (Tampa was rescheduled and so the mod shift at the Dali museum will wait) so I plan on breaking out that maxi dress and strolling through the heat of Atlantic Beach looking cool as a cucumber!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368164 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 21:09:10 +0000 catgirl 368164@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mo, I know what you mean about the fantasy life - witness my collection of cocktail dresses!</p> <p>I am either in professional/dressy clothes or what most would consider gear. I have stepped up my casual wear a bit, but realistically, I think a better approach would be to have more cross-over items. Thus, jeans that can be dressed up, or a blouse I can wear to work as well as for a dinner at home with friends. I have been looking for more of this type of clothing, which I would consider stuff I wear regularly, just a better version of it.</p> <p>And I think you've been doing that! Upgrading to nicer versions of the type of clothing you'd reach for anywy. Now you just need to reach for it. Can you give us some examples of the kinds of things that are just sitting around. Or do you feel that having been stuck at home with your injury has changed how you feel about getting dressed?</p> <p>Hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368161 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 21:03:49 +0000 Auburn 368161@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mo,<br /> I feel like you've made comments in this general theme before. In particular, I can't help wonder what you mean when you say that you are afraid to wear your clothes. I know you lead a very casual lifestyle but it doesn't seem, from your shopping posts and such, that you deviate too far afield from that in your recent shopping. So what is it that you're not wearing? Of course you need to wear "gear" for yoga and exercising, but then I wouldn't hesitate to throw on a sundress or make a cute outfits out of shorts (or something weather appropriate) even if your day ends up being a run to the bank and couch time with kitty. I don't wash many of my clothes after a single wearing (jeans, for example, go MANY washes) so I wouldn't worry much about clothes wearing out in the wash, unless they are of extremely low quality. Rather, I find that I'm sick of things before they literally wear out. </p> <p>I guess I don't have a cogent message here except that I feel like you may be being too hard on yourself. You enjoy shopping and that's okay! It doesn't always have to serve a purely practical purpose, especially since I happen to know that you are very conscientious with spending and are not the type to drop $500 on a pair of shoes you'll wear twice a year. (I may have done that before.)<br /> I guess I'm making 2 suggestions: (1) Get in there and start wearing the heck out of your clothes--ALL your clothes--whether it seems like the perfect venue/time to wear them or not; and (2) This fashion stuff is hardly a science. You don't need to have a wardrobe that is a perfect embodiment of your day-to-day living so long as you've got the basics covered.<br /> Oh, and I'm not sure there's value in subscribing to the "enough is enough" theory with respect to clothing/shopping. Again, so long as you're staying within your budget and having fun with it, I say carry on!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368154 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 20:50:42 +0000 lyn* 368154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I probably wear 80% of my clothes on a regular basis - I guess it depends on your lifestyle. And your closet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368138 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 20:21:06 +0000 Aziraphale 368138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mo, this sounds like the 80/20 rule in action: you wear 20% of your clothes 80% of the time (or, you listen to 20% of your music 80% of the time, etc). I struggle with this too. I want to wear ALL my clothes, not just 20% of them! And I want to wear clothes that make me feel fabulous, but every day I run the risk of getting ketchup or paint or kid snot on them, so I'm sorely tempted to "save" my favourite stuff for....later. Whenever that may be. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368044 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 18:15:02 +0000 KeepTheKey 368044@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I totally understand what you're going through. I used to have all these beautiful clothes, but never wear them. My solution? Get dressed up for everything!</p> <p>Obviously I don't mean ball gowns to the post office. But we live in a casual culture where Uggs, short shorts and t-shirts and standard issue (can you tell I live in L.A.?). People leave the house wearing pajamas, for heavens sake! So I make a point to go to the dressier end of the spectrum in all aspects of life. My BF always comments that I'm the most dressed up person at the grocery store. You know what? I okay with that :-)</p> <p>You'll figure out what's right for you, what makes you happiest. If you want to wear your pretty things, then wear them! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368036 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 18:00:39 +0000 Mo 368036@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kim, I'm with you! I don't want to put a total ban because for me that's like saying diet, just makes me want to rebel! But I really do have enough. I know I do. And I have at least 3 dresses that have not been worn out of the house yet. But I at least culled the large collection from over the years down to 17 total now.<br /> And I'm starting to think if you have too much it gets almost harder to get dressed, you know? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368034 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:55:38 +0000 Mo 368034@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yeah, Suz, it's hard to not want to buy the prettiest, fanciest dress and instead get a more 'suitable' or even durable [ack] one instead! I figure at this point I am not buying any more dresses and will have to figure out a way to wear what I have. That may mean choosing a few and being okay with wearing them until they're worn out and knowing that this is their final season. Or it may mean changing my mindset to dressing up more on a daily basis and equally rotating through them all so none gets too much wear and tear. I just know that it's really bothering me that I am almost afraid to wear my stuff at this point! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368028 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:51:08 +0000 Queen Mum 368028@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>this is my constant struggle. </p> <p>yep!</p> <p>I know exactly where you're coming from. I think for me it's my eye always catching the latest and greatest in the store, or seeing someone look fab here. I "forget" that I have a closet full of almost brand new stuff and can look fab all summer with what I've got. That is why I've put myself on a shopping ban.. I don't NEED anything else. Party, dinner, wedding, funeral, grocery store, doctor, whatever... I can get there and look and feel great. </p> <p>I have a friend who keeps a very small wardrobe, and I will see her in the same things quite often... but she always looks great! By the end of summer, she will get rid of most of her stuff, because it's seen better days, and then next summer she will invest in another small yet functional wardrobe and always look great. I wish I could be more like that, but I know that I want a bit more variety. I just need to stick to my guns about how many of each type of item I need and when the capsule is full, its full!</p> <p>sounds easy doesn't it? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368026 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:48:18 +0000 Suz 368026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hear you, Mo! That's why I posted about what to wear to work at home. I was thinking that I want to feel connected to my clothes, pulled together, yet realistic about my life. Because my day to day sounds a lot like yours. Really, I'm seldom in situations where I need to wear anything stylish at all! It's just that I would LIKE to. </p> <p>So my goal, as I build my wardrobe, is to buy pieces that will work for this super casual (or home based) life of mine, and yet still look stylish. I am going to try to be a bit ruthless about purchases that don't fit into the quadrants of my life where I still GENUINELY need clothes in order not to be reverting to the gym clothes. </p> <p>But...um...having said that, I did buy a thrifted jacket yesterday that I surely won't wear while I am working at home. &lt;blush&gt; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-to-get-real-with-myself-fantasy-vs-reality#post-368021 Thu, 16 Jun 2011 17:39:26 +0000 Mo 368021@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have been thinking on the amount of clothes I have/want compared to what I need and actually wear. In my head I have lots of ideas of what I still need and why, but as I sit here in my yoga clothes getting ready to hop on my indoor bicycle, I realize my daily reality is frought with loungewear and exercise gear. Yes, we go out to eat at a casual type place one a week. Yes, I like to look pulled together to run errands, even when it's hot as blazes out there. But at what point do I say to myself, "enough is enough. Be content with what you have." ?<br /> I know some of this is due to my fashion awakening of sorts last fall and realizing a lot of what I had didn't work. Of course I needed to replace all the too short tops and dated prints and pick up a few newer silhouttes. But I feel like it's become an ongoing obsession to plug all the wardrobe holes. And yet, three quarters of the time I am in loungey stuff and feeling a tad ill at ease. I want to wear my better stuff. But I don't want to 'waste it' sitting here with the cat and just wearing things out in the washer.<br /> Perhaps it's just the heat of summer wearing on me. But I'm feeling almost separated from my wardrobe right now. It's like it's something I look at and work on but am not wearing. Sigh. </p>