YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Need Advice on going gray (long)

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Need Advice on going gray (long) https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 22 Apr 2026 02:18:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php SandyG on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009864 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 21:47:24 +0000 SandyG 1009864@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ MsMaven, I have rosacea too and find many blonde colors look awful when my skin is too pink or flared up with red spots. The best thing I've done was  rosacea treatments, radiowave sessions to reduce the pink & red. I will continue to make new ones, of course, when stressed; blame celtic genes but I'm thrilled with the normal looking results. Once my skin settled down to its natural fair color, my hair color and bits of gray was't so much of an issue because skin & hair weren't fighting. Now it's neutral blond highlights on top of my dark dishwater piece-y bob, and a few tiny blonde highlights around my face. I dyed my brows a little bit darker for definition. You have beautiful eyebrows and hair and I hope you find yourself feeling fabulous with whatever you do!! anchie on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009842 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 20:35:11 +0000 anchie 1009842@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As you can see from my avatar picture, I have gray hair. Last July I had horrible allergic reaction to hair dye, after coloring for more than 20 years. I went cold turkey after that. Two months after the incident I cut off my shoulder length hair into very short pixie (jamie lee curtis like). I still had few cm of colored hair so I kept my hair very short until all color was gone and then I started growing it. I am still growing it and currently it is little longer than in avatar, but still relatively short. I am 44 now. I have never received so many complements on my hair in my whole life. I even get compliments from complete strangers. And I am asked almost daily if this is my natural color or if I dye it - which is kind of strange question - who would die hair gray? I am also happy to report that I have inspired few of the women in my life to stop coloring. Anonymous on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009811 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 19:18:48 +0000 Anonymous 1009811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's decision time for me. Most of the highlights are out of my hair now, so I asked my DDs what they thought. The unanimous vote was to get more highlights. I don't think my hair looks bad, but it most definitely looks better with the highlights. Also, highlights are a great alternative to all-over color right now because I don't have too many white hairs right now. Betti on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009728 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 16:22:11 +0000 Betti 1009728@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh MsMaven, maybe we had the same hairdresser years back? Mine talked me into Castings and I also turned ORANGE. It was horrifying.  I like what VernieJane said about the highlights to grow it out. I'm watching and listening with much interest, wondering when it will be my time to stop hiding and covering it up. I really don't want to be one of those very old ladies faking it with brown hair. VernieJane on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009489 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 07:42:50 +0000 VernieJane 1009489@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you should definitely go the route of the blonde highlights and then just let it grow out. I have seen a couple of women do this, and it looks great. Cut it a bit short when you do the highlights, and it'll all be grown out before you know it! One thing though: the highlights must be a very bleachy type of blonde, like a white-blonde. Otherwise it doesn't look as good. I think it's a good decision to let it grow out. We need to stop using so many chemicals on our bodies to make ourselves "beautiful". I have seen this trend lately with older women growing out the grey, and it makes for a very sophisticated look on women who are stylish and youthful. Good luck and good job! Anonymous on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009367 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 02:49:34 +0000 Anonymous 1009367@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I went grey gradually having never dyed my hair. I did get highlights a couple of times a year as ashy beige streaks. Blonde looked awful. My grey was coming in a taupe color rather than grey. Eventually most of my hair was light taupe and got lots of compliments. I started wearing taupe, a color I never wore before. My hair has not changed texture. Over the last year or so the taupe has become more of a silvery grey. I actually wear black better than I ever did with dark auburn hair when younger, as long as it is a soft dull black. Navy, charcoal or even dark brown are probably better though. I think skin and eye colors also change some as you get older. I used to stick to greyed shades of colors but now clear midtones are best. Jaime on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009353 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 02:39:02 +0000 Jaime 1009353@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I cut off the remnants of my dyed mid-brown hair and now my hair is black and white and every shade in between. The biggest benefit is how much healthier my hair and scalp are now. I do find I am wearing more grey (but I always liked it) and prefer somewhat less intense colors (light blue rather than deep teal). It has grown a bit it is curlier and fuller looking than I had anticipated. Agree with Gaylene that it needs a lot of product and a good cut. One important note that always bothers me: I do NOT agree that grey hair is more "authentic". That is as ridiculous to me - we all do various things to improve on how we look and it is a personal choice and whatever that choice is it is authentic. (End of rant.) Carla on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009340 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 02:19:57 +0000 Carla 1009340@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm not going grey, but rather 'peach' or sandy, since my hair colour is red and what is coming in is white, or what my son kindly calls 'polar blonde'. I had never, ever, coloured my hair. When I turned 50, my hairdresser suggested 'highlights' in a red close to my natural colour. In other words, she boosted my natural colour, and did aim for the big patches at crown, and around the face, but she didn't get them all. I rather liked this, and I got touch ups at 4 month intervals. After a bad haircut, I switched to a new hairdresser who did the blonde thing. I deal with rosecea, and I didn't like the light blonde with my red face. Then I switched to a young hairdresser, and decided to stop colouring. At one point about 6 months in, she commented...." Why you're a red head! I thought you were a blonde!" FWIW, I did not like being a blonde. I've been 100% natural since last November when the last of the blonde highlights were cut out. YLF has helped me discover that white clothing can look really fab with fading colouring, and the last 5 garments that I have purchased are navy. I bookend my hair with boots and shoes in a colour sometimes called cognac, and sometimes called saddle. BTW, DH was a warm brown with ruddy skin and blue eyes. He looked great in red, and loved browns. Now he is a silver fox, and most reds look garish and browns are just horrible. He wears blues, purples, and greys and looks amazing! MsMaven on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009280 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 01:31:50 +0000 MsMaven 1009280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you all for your advice and encouragement.  That pinterest page is great and so is the blog.  I do know there are several blogs about gray hair--I need to start following them as I begin my journey.  Maybe I'll fiddle around with photoshop and see if I can create a new look.  This hasn't occurred to me before.   I also want to change my hair around, even if I do end up going back to a bob.   Suz on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009224 Tue, 20 Aug 2013 00:09:46 +0000 Suz 1009224@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am no help because I have not yet traversed this path but I am reading with interest. For what it is worth, I think you will look stunning with grey hair!  merwoman on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009211 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 23:38:47 +0000 merwoman 1009211@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ M, thank you for sharing these wonderful pictures, you are a beautiful and vibrant woman whatever your hair colour. I'm in my mid 50's, I don't seem to have very much gray, but definitely I see that it has dulled and is significantly dryer and coarser. I'm still on the fence about what to do next so am not too much help in that dept. From what I can see you are blessed with great bone structure and volume of hair and a killer smile. Pinterest is great way to go - and there are all kinds of blogs etc  - this site looked good: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.hairstyle-blog.com/tips-on-how-to-let-your-hair-go-gray.html">http://www.hairstyle-blog.com/.....-gray.html</a> Caro in Oz on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009210 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 23:37:07 +0000 Caro in Oz 1009210@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Pretty much what Gaylene said. I used to wear brown, because it looked great with my hair but when I went grey it didn't so my wardrobe changed a lot. I find that all black is way too harsh now too; but I think that's due to age rather than  hair colour Elly on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009195 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 23:10:43 +0000 Elly 1009195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Not everyone's coloring will alter dramatically. My own grandmother who was a dark-haired, blue eyed lady (not a winter but idk if she is a spring or summer) wears totally different colors now. However, my mom is probably about as grey as she is going to get at 65-70% (if my grandfather is any indication) and she still wears the dark autumn palette of her youth well. Both my grandfather and mother still have very dark eyes and vibrant light olive skin with heavily pigmented lips at 52 and 79 respectively. Despite having very muted hair now, wearing black still brings out her strikingly dark brows, eyes, and lashes. qfbrenda on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009193 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 23:06:04 +0000 qfbrenda 1009193@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ There is also a Facebook group with the same name as a well known book, "Going Gray, Looking Great!"  They often post before/after photos of women who have let their hair go natural.  Gaylene on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009186 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 22:53:18 +0000 Gaylene 1009186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Going grey is my preference, but I know that I'm in the minority when it comes to my friends who are also in their 50s and 60s. I've never had the urge to color my hair, so starting to do so in my mid-sixties just seems to entail too much work and expense. A couple of my thoughts, for what they are worth: <ol> <li>Maintenance is super important if you want to keep looking stylish. That means finding a good stylist to give you a current, updated cut and spending the money to find products to keep your hair healthy and shiny. And looking good with greying hair requires good overall grooming (regular manicures, plucking and tweezing, a bit of makeup, etc.) to keep the entire package looking good.</li> <li>Wardrobe colors may need to be adjusted depending on how your skin and hair color are changing. As a winter, black used to be a slam dunk, but now ink blue and purple are much better alternatives. And, for the first time in my life, I'm getting compliments when I'm wearing browns and greys which formerly would have been totally off limits for me.</li> <li>Grey hair can have a different texture than your previous color--which can take some getting used to when styling your hair at home. My hair is much curlier and wavier now than it used to be so I'm finding that keeping it shorter works better than my former chin-length bob.</li> <li>Grey hair doesn't have the uniform look of colored hair and may be range from almost white near your temples to a much darker color on the top layers. It's worth experimenting to find a cut that shows off the variations in a way that flatters you.</li> <li>Finally, an edgier cut can make a huge difference in preventing a dated, frowsy look. For the first time in my life, I'm experimenting with "product" like molding pastes, root boosters, shine enhancers, and the like. My (much younger) stylist is really teaching me a lot about how to get different effects with different products. She hands me samples, gives me advice, and, in general, keeps me away from any "old lady" tendencies that I might be having.</li> </ol> T-Rex on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009165 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 22:15:17 +0000 T-Rex 1009165@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, what qfbrenda said. When I was going gray, there was a livejournal dedicated to photos of great looking, gray haired (mostly) women and (some) men. It was taken down, unfortunately. I suspect the journal's owner was posting some of her pics without permission. I say this because I saw at least one of her posted photos elsewhere on a stock photo site. Despite that, the intention was admirable. And it really did help me see gray hair differently than I had in the past. qfbrenda on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009164 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 22:09:36 +0000 qfbrenda 1009164@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ One thing I did to cheer myself along was collect awesome photos of other gray-haired women on Pinterest.  It has helped me feel inspired to continue. <a href="http://pinterest.com/brenda34780/hairstyles/" rel="nofollow">http://pinterest.com/brenda34780/hairstyles/</a> T-Rex on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009162 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 22:07:26 +0000 T-Rex 1009162@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I let my hair go gray a few years ago, when I was in my very early 40's. I can't say for sure if it has changed the way I feel or not. It's probably more accurate to say that going naturally gray is a reflection of how I felt at the time. I was curious to see how gray I actually was, since I had been coloring my hair since my 20's. It took so long to grow the gray out, that I decided to stick with it for a while and really inhabit it. The way I dress hasn't changed much except for a slight, but noticeable (to me) shift in my color palette away from browns, rusts, and warmer tones and toward grays, blues, and cooler tones. In fact, the best piece of advice I found when researching the best ways to "go gray", was to embrace gray in my wardrobe. I found  photographs that showed gray haired women looking fantastic in head-to-toe gray.   qfbrenda on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009161 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 22:06:00 +0000 qfbrenda 1009161@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm going to be taking notes on this thread.  I'm in the middle of letting my hair go gray right now at almost 41.  I'm tired of the time, mess, and money and figure going gray is only going to get harder.  It will be easier for you than me since your hair is much lighter.  I would talk to your hair stylist/colorist about going lighter and doing high lights or whatever he/she suggests.  I have a friend who went blond to prep for going gray and it worked very well for her. As for how I feel... I'm still adjusting.  I really miss my brunette hair but the reality is, I'm not a brunette anymore.  Even if I dye it that color it's starting to look harsh on me I think.  My husband is thrilled that I'm letting it go gray and that helps.  If he hated it, I would probably cave and color it again. The biggest thing I plan to do is to try to keep a good haircut.  To my eye, a nice haircut can make the difference between gray hair looking great and not looking so great. I haven't changed how I dress and I'm not sure if I will or not.  I'm thinking that dark gray will become my main dark neutral rather than black but I'm not sure about that.  I'm a winter so I might be able to carry off black... we'll see. MsMaven on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009148 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 21:13:35 +0000 MsMaven 1009148@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sorry for strange formatting--I cut and pasted it. MsMaven on "Need Advice on going gray (long)" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/need-advice-on-going-gray-long#post-1009147 Mon, 19 Aug 2013 21:12:20 +0000 MsMaven 1009147@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My hair was slow to start graying.  By my mid-40s I had a dozen gray hairs.  My hairdresser was great at cutting hair, but wanted to be known as a great colorist. When I was in my early 50s he talked me  into trying a new product called Castings that would just “brighten” my hair.  By then I had several hundred gray hairs.  I ended up with orange hair!  In a few weeks the orange was gone and it was blonde.  I let it grow out.             Everything was fine for a while.  I moved and in my mid-50s decided it was time to color the gray—a few hundred of them at most.  I had a new  hairdresser. One day years later I brought a photo to show her from my 40s and she about fainted.  Although she was using the same color the gray formula, my hair had turned quite blonde on the top layers, so we went to lowlighting.  According to her my hair was still less than 20% gray.             She quit, and now I have a new hairdresser who has done a pretty good job and has been using the same formula.  I don’t like my hair this color.  Over the years I have earned some rosacea and my skin is more pink-looking.                Last month I talked to her about gradually going gray.  She says her clients usually do it by gradually adding blonder highlights and letting it grow out over a year or two.  I have trepidations.  Most of the gray is at the crown and temples and beneath it is dark.  I am not going to turn into a silver-tressed Helen Mirren.  I will probably be two-tone but who knows? I wonder about how I will feel about myself.  I guess if I don’t think it suits me I can start with the real hair dye, but I hate to do that.  I’m ready to go natural.  My hair is very straight and fine. It is getting drier.  I assume I’m going to be changing the colors I wear. Some photos from the past: #1  Mid 30s: My sister and I and her twins.  (One is now an MD and one a Ph.D.  Boy and girl.) #2 40s  #3 Late 40s #4  50s #5 Late 50s.  Now with cover the gray. #6 mid-60s.  You can see I tried some highlighting until I realized my hair was coming out that way anyway. #7.  Last year. You’ve seen this one before.  I will say that my hair does photograph much blonder than it looks in real life.  Need advice:  Is highlighting the right thing to do?  For those who have gone natural, did it change how you feel and dress?