https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 14:15:28 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2173042 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 16:33:43 +0000 Janet 2173042@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is wonderful, Kaelyn! Thanks for sharing.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172981 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 12:34:26 +0000 Anonymous 2172981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok now I totally have to go there! Gotta see the reed islands and try sandboarding. Not sure what it is, but sounds fun! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172976 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 12:23:08 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 2172976@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your response is so thoughtful and expressive of your journey in life and your happiness with where you are now. And your style, too, of course! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172974 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 11:33:11 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2172974@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a journey! The tension between frugality/practicality and knowing you’re worth it is tough. I very much agree with you that the point of body positivity and accepting various social identities is that each person has the freedom to decide who they are and how they wish to present that. Whereas you say <i> Nobody looks at me and thinks "That's a straight woman" anymore, and I like it that way.</i> I also want people to know right off the bat that I’m not a plain Jane, having spent too much of my life being told I needed to fit certain boxes and was just wrong for being me. The trip to Peru (how fun that your fiancé could go too) sounds wonderful, another way you decided you’re worth it. Hooray! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172914 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 02:29:37 +0000 Kaelyn 2172914@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are all so kind. Thank you for your encouraging comments! &lt;3</p> <p><b>suntiger</b>, Peru was wonderful, and truly a life-changing experience. I learned so much about myself while I was there for three weeks, in addition to learning about the place itself. I went on the trip to get credit for two remaining courses for my Latin American/Latinx Studies minor (which I hadn't planned on, but realized I could pull off with that trip and squeezing one history class into my schedule, and I wanted the excuse to take another trip with one of the professors with whom I had gone to Spain). We trekked all over the country--from Cusco, to the Sacred Valley of the Incas, to Ollantaytambo, to Machu Picchu, to Puno and Lake Titicaca with its magnificent human-made islands (out of reeds--they float!), to the desert city Ica where we went sandboarding and had the best chocolate ever, to the Colca canyon to see Andean condors (they're <i>enormous</i>), to Arequipa where we visited a local university and participated in a cultural dialogue with students there, to the coast where we saw sea lions in the wild and some other species you can't find anywhere else, and finally to Lima, the capital--and those are just the highlights! Pretty much the only region of the country I didn't get to see was the rainforest. It was such an adventure, and I'm convinced it's the most beautiful country on earth, with some of the most beautiful people on earth. I can't wait to go back someday... I have a feeling it's a place I'll revisit multiple times in my life.</p> <p>I've attached a selfie from Machu Picchu. It was my favorite part of the trip by far--going up the mountain and becoming engulfed by the mist was pretty much a religious experience. And because my professor is Peruvian and has visited and taken students there many, many times, he knew the single best vantage point for our first view--my fiancée and I got to go with him because he opted not to do the more intense hike to the sun gate with the rest of the group, and my fiancée and I also decided not to (fiancée was having a really tough time because she's afraid of heights--though the trip definitely helped her work on that and I'm still super proud of her!--and I was exhausted from pushing myself on a hike the previous day and not enthusiastic about the quick pace the sun gate hike required to get back in time). It was a really special experience. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172767 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 18:32:41 +0000 Angie 2172767@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>*APPLAUSE"</p> <p><b>Kaelyn</b>, I'm wowed at your eloquence, ease, optimism, and the confidence that bounces off the page when I read this. You are beautifully in-tune with who you are, and are having fun accurately reflecting it through your style. AWESOME </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172737 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 17:03:42 +0000 nemosmom 2172737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for sharing your story! So glad to hear you are on the other side of a difficult relationship and finding your way through style.&nbsp; Yes, you are absolutely worth it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172726 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 16:27:19 +0000 LaPed 2172726@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great read! I completely understand the impulse to write an entire memoir. And wanting to&nbsp;"figure out what makes me <i>happy</i>&nbsp;instead of just what <i>works"&nbsp;</i>is such a good goal.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172718 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 16:16:57 +0000 slim cat 2172718@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wonderful read - love your "Nobody looks at me and thinks "That's a straight woman" anymore, and I like it that way" ( Amen to that ). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172684 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 15:11:47 +0000 Anonymous 2172684@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I enjoyed reading about sentimentality of your clothing! Having pieces with stories is awesome And removing negative vibe items is liberating! Cheers! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172656 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 12:44:08 +0000 Anonymous 2172656@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry you had such a difficult marriage, but glad you've found happiness now! I definitely see all you wrote reflected in what I've seen of your style.<br /> I'd love to hear about the Peru trip </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172652 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 12:18:43 +0000 Helena 2172652@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love all of this Kaelyn ... Your insides match your outsides and that is a wonderful way to live life. Love your confidence, authenticity and kindness. Totally agree with you on the modesty piece ... To me, it's not about the freedom to bare all, it's about the freedom to do what feels right to you. Which means I will happily cover up and the woman next to me can show skin; it's all good! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172648 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 11:55:42 +0000 Liesbeth 2172648@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lovely story. And a great point about social identity. It's something I have a different approach to (I dress more to blend in, at least a little bit, so that I can get what I want out of a situation, and I realize as a cis-woman that being able to do that is a privilege in itself). But having people willing to wear their identity 'out' even when it may be provocative to some, that is so important especially in the light of current identity politics. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172634 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 09:53:30 +0000 Sal 2172634@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another fantastic post here. I was heartened to read of your increased confidence and ability to DYOT when it comes to style - being authentic to your own identity. </p> <p>Thanks for sharing! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172608 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 07:07:02 +0000 Synne 2172608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A great summary, well done! It has been interesting reading everyone's reflections and seeing how we differ or what we have in common. I can relate to a lot of what you say here. I also shop both men and women's and absolute love a great deal thrifting. I have to ponder what you're saying about social identity a bit more. I am aware my style speaks for me, but I want to tame and control WHAT it says. Haven't thought this completely through yet... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172597 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 05:19:40 +0000 rachylou 2172597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol... I recognised myself re cutting things off... my beliefs about what if Adam and Eve were amoebas and how this would explain EVERYTHING ... seemed, you know, a long route back to fashion... lol! </p> <p>I think your beliefs, values and traits are well in play. Good job! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172594 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 05:05:38 +0000 Bijou 2172594@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Kaelyn - you are so worth it! It is wonderful to hear that you are in such a great place in your life. I am so with you on jettisoning items that have bad memories attached and loving the items that have great memories and empower us.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172591 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 04:48:39 +0000 Kaelyn 2172591@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shevia, you are a DELIGHTFUL woman! I'm very here for people looking how they feel inside. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172577 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 03:21:20 +0000 Jaime 2172577@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great self description and gives me a very clear sense of who you are and where you came from. I am especially impressed with how you have evolved your beliefs over time to match your sense of yourself. Your statement "Nobody looks at me and thinks "That's a straight woman" anymore, and I like it that way." resonated with me. I am a straight woman as it happens, but I do think I might dress to say I am not a conventional person.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-style-beliefs-values-and-personality#post-2172543 Wed, 17 Feb 2021 00:40:11 +0000 Kaelyn 2172543@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jumping in a bit later than I planned to; this was tougher than I expected it would be to nail down! But well worth the effort!</p> <p>I decided to stick to three main points for each category because if I didn't make a cutoff somewhere, I could probably write a book (this might be novella length), and I frankly don't have time for that right now. ;)</p> <p><b></b><u>BELIEFS</u> <ul> <li><b>I'm Worth It!</b> Making this my number ONE. I mentioned in my comment on Angie's blog post that coming to enjoy style and clothing as an adult has been instrumental in working through my emotional trauma. I was in an unhappy marriage the first few years of my twenties, and my ex-husband was extremely unsupportive. One of the first things I did after we separated and I got some of my own money was buy some new clothes, including my blue denim jacket and some new bras (I'd only had one that fit close to correctly for a couple of years, which was a nightmare). It was an important act of empowerment, and shopping continues to be that for me four years later!</li> <li><b>Enclothed Cognition.&nbsp;</b>Echoing Angie, I find that being dressed appropriately for a task helps put me in the right mindset. This weekend my fiancée and I did all of our backlog of laundry and reorganized our closet, and I've been dressing smart casual for work instead of in the first clean thing I saw. Yesterday I wore a tunic tee with a blazer; today I'm wearing my black, gray, and cobalt argyle sweater. Different jeans each day. House slippers because I don't like wearing shoes indoors. The fact that the closet is better organized has also had a strong positive effect on my mind and emotions because it makes getting dressed in the morning a lot easier!</li> <li><b>Social Identity.&nbsp;</b>What we wear can say a lot about us as people, and one thing that is important to me is representing myself as a queer, nonbinary person. I love mixing feminine, masculine, and feminine-cut but masculine inspired items in my outfits. I shop the women's and men's departments and am comfortable shifting my presentation anywhere along the gender spectrum depending on my mood. Nobody looks at me and thinks "That's a straight woman" anymore, and I like it that way. Yes, even living in a conservative state like Georgia!</li> </ul> <u>VALUES</u> <ul> <li><b>Frugality. </b>I learned from my Mom and my Nana that the best purchases are the ones you got a good deal on. It's why I shop almost exclusively during sales and why I love thrifting. As an adult, I'm pretty aware of how businesses artificially inflate prices by selling them for what they're actually worth on "sale" so I know I'm not ALWAYS getting a great deal, but I can still refuse to pay the inflated prices.</li> <li><b></b><b>Practicality and Comfort.</b> Historically, the number one reason I get rid of a clothing item is because I've worn it into the ground, or because I found it too impractical to wear into the ground due to not functioning well or being physically or emotionally uncomfortable. Growing up, things didn't get replaced until absolutely necessary. I've toned that down a bit as an adult because I've been working more actively to figure out what makes me <i>happy</i> instead of just what <i>works</i>. But it's still something I strive for and believe I'm getting closer to now.</li> <li><b>Modesty.</b>&nbsp;This is a weird one to talk about after working very hard in my late teens and twenties to be more body positive and appreciate others' choice to bare more skin than I'm comfortable with, but it's true--I like covering most of my skin most of the time, and I don't like tight-fitting clothes. To each their own! I can simultaneously celebrate people I love wearing more revealing clothing and feeling like <i>I don't have to </i>because what's empowering for them just makes me feel uncomfortable in my own body. Give me full length pants, dresses with sleeves, swim shorts, and layers, and size them up a little and I'll feel free as a bird.</li> </ul> <u>PERSONALITY</u> <ul> <li><b>Driven.</b>&nbsp;While I must continuously work to take better care of myself and not push myself too hard, I love my drive. I try a lot of things, I get a lot done, and I do most things very well because I give them my all. I'm not content to sit around and relax, because there's so much life to live. I feel like this is reflected equally well by my love of blazers (professional and great for dressing up casual items!) and comfortable, practical shoes that allow me to get from point A to point B effectively (sneakers give me life).</li> <li><b>Witty. </b>I've always been told I have a great sense of humor, and my humor is very much tied to things like observations, connections between different ideas, and unexpected twists. This is reflected in my style by my love of graphic tees (I own what most adults would consider far too many, but too bad, they make me smile), juxtapositions (lately my two biggest interests have been polished, professorial, academic looks and super RATE, edgy, punk looks), and statements made by my outfit choices.<b>&nbsp;</b>Even if the wit isn't noticed by anyone else, I can enjoy feeling like my outfit is an inside joke with my self. But I love it when I can spark an interesting conversation because someone "got" it!</li> <li><b>Sentimental.&nbsp;</b>I am intensely emotional and I care deeply about the memories I treasure and objects that tie me to them. For that reason, I favor pieces that have a story attached to them. Not every piece has to meet this criterion, but I'm more likely to wear something that reminds me of a happy memory (for example, the black and white baby alpaca scarf I bought during a study abroad trip in Peru reminds me of a great trip with my fiancée and two of my favorite professors). Conversely, I'm unlikely to wear things if I have an especially strong negative association with them because I was wearing them on a really bad day (I purged a lot of things that made me think of my ex-husband; not all, though, because some had stronger <i>happy</i> memories associated with them!).</li> </ul> If you made it through the end, thank you for reading! Writing helps me get my thoughts out, and this was a great exercise. I plan to keep these thoughts in mind as I shop and edit this year. 2020 was very much about figuring out my needs, and 2021 is going to be about remaining laser focused on those needs and adapting my wardrobe and other aspects of my life to meet them. Cheers! </p>