https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 18 Apr 2026 00:32:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1432303 Tue, 27 Jan 2015 03:37:03 +0000 Keturah 1432303@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Crutcher, thank you for the love and affirmation.&nbsp;I am coming to realize that WPT isn't worth thinking about. This past year has been one of much growth. Still room for more growth and progress though, on that front. lots and lots of love and hugs to you and Toby &lt;3&nbsp;<div><br /></div><div><br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1428385 Wed, 21 Jan 2015 01:05:40 +0000 crutcher 1428385@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Keturah...You are a wonderful, charming and stylish woman...please don't care or worry about what others think...I spent many unhappy days struggling with this one...many tears and bad feelings...One day, I just gave it up...I do care about people and their problems and concerns but their opinions will have to just remain theirs...i will not let WPT (what people think) ruin my days...When you can embrace this one, you will indeed be a happy person...Hugs... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427924 Tue, 20 Jan 2015 03:13:59 +0000 Keturah 1427924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div><div> <p>Wow, ladies! I am so thankful for your kind words and feedback &lt;3&nbsp;I just got back on YLF after the weekend to find your replies. It does my heart good and helped calm me down about my style shifting some. I realize: it's shoes, it's style and clothes. I don't have to toss anything yet or make any giant changes or decisions. Deep breath, deep breath. :)&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Marilyn</b>, don't let it stress you out or feel guilty. I know it isn't the best feeling to just chuck things. I have been there myself. a couple of different times. I'm glad you can see the rational side of it all. As for having nothing to wear... that means you get to go buy new clothes you will wear! :D&nbsp;</p> </div><div></div><div></div><div><div><b>torontogirl</b>, I have been asked several times why I dress like I live in the city! So I get it. I really really love your thought that perhaps a few tweaks are necessary, instead of a full pendulum swing. And I think that is the way to approach it: gently, with small changes. No need to overreact and purge my entire collection. As for shifts... my life has made huge shifts over the past year and a &nbsp;half. I just didn't know it would affect my closet! :)&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Staysfit</b>, I love that you nailed your style descriptors and style statement and are working from those. It seems like when I try to work from something it becomes tough. I'm learning I need to go with the flow and not try so hard. individual pieces... that is what I find myself going for! yes, a whole style, but also just individual pieces more and more as I follow my heart. This is an interesting process isn't it? :)</div><div><br /></div><div><b>tulle</b>, lovely words. I have been going through a lot of changes this past year, so I didn't realize it would cause some changes in my closet. You have given me a good idea, to reserve a little space for glam-girl capsule. Perhaps I'll do that for now while I see where the new path leads me. :)</p> <p></div><div><b>bettycrocker</b>, it seems shoes have a lot to tell us! I think the peace will come as I stop overanalyzing and being anxious about everything changing and just enjoy it all. I am happy about the changes taking place. Just...surprised me, I think.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>unfrumped</b>, evolution is a really good way of putting it and I hadn't saw it like that. I just thought, crumb! I just changed my style a couple years ago. And now here it is changing again. I like your thoughts about juxtaposing and putting my own stamp on things. Oh Phrynie!! Her clothes are utterly delicious to me, I think due to the drape, exotic prints and colors. I just want to dash about my errands&nbsp;in a kimono and wide leg pants! I've also noticed my latest outfit experiments have been high-happy moments, so it tells me to keep going with my heart and experimenting.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>crutcher</b>, my sweet friend Thank you for such lovely affirming words. Even though the changes mean a good-bye (which perhaps is what made me uncomfortable?) it is exciting, and this does feel more and more like "me." I think the other reason I worry is, I worry what others will think. But as long as I feel like it's me, and I feel pretty and joyful, that is what should count. And who knows, the more fluid fits may not last forever and I may change again in another year or two For now,&nbsp;I'm letting the shoes rest. They've actually been resting there for the last few months. So best to let them continue their "style nap" until they are needed. I send my&nbsp;love to you and&nbsp;Tobs! I am&nbsp;forging ahead with my new style goals. Hugs and love!&nbsp;&nbsp;</div></div></div><div><div><div><div><div></div></div><div></div></div></div><div></div></div><a rel="nofollow"></a><div><div><div><a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/member/unfrumped/"></a></div><div></div></div></div><div><div><br />K.M., so glad you shared your story with me. I always love to hear about how other people's styles and how they lived it out. As for casual: often I find that&nbsp;I associate casual with schlumpy and very not-stylish. I know this isn't true since there are many casual stylish women on YLF! But&nbsp;&nbsp;I love glamour, I just do. I think I was afraid to lose it if i became too casual. So&nbsp;thank you for sharing with me&nbsp;about glamorous people maintaining their glamour. &lt;3</div></div><div><div><div><div><div></div><div><div><div></div><div><div> <ul></ul> </div></div></div><div></div></div></div><div></div></div><div><div><span><br /><b>shevia</b>, it's odd, I have always had a thing for drama, for polish and rich looks. So I did the whole bombshell thing for a while. I can't see it was entirely "me." But there were elements of it that allowed me to connect with the more beautiful&nbsp;and dramatic side that I hadn't experienced in many years. Thank you for&nbsp;your words. I am mourning a bit, and that's okay. I really am enjoying my new style!! :)&nbsp;</p> <p><b>rachylou</b>, <i>It's not happy making though,&nbsp;dressing for a life other than the one you have</i>.&nbsp;That is so well said. Now when I&nbsp;dress up more "Joan Holloway" I do feel like a fraud and uncomfortable. Oh, for a&nbsp;special occasion it can be fun. But every day? That seems to much. I do think dressing for dinner sounds really fun! A grand ritual, yes indeed! But I could see how you would be just fine not having&nbsp;to do that anymore.&nbsp;<br /></span></div></div></div></div><div><div><div><div></div><div><div><div></div><div><div> <ul></ul> </div></div></div><div></div></div></div><div></div></div><div><b>Summer</b>, taking it slow is a good way to go! I think there is room for my dressier more glam stuff. Just lately &nbsp;I've begun dressing up for dinner&nbsp;at home, just because I don't go out often. So why not wear it at home and enjoy it! And I do. :)&nbsp;<br /></div></div><div><div></div><div></div><div><br /><b>Suz</b>, thank you for sharing!! When I was younger, except for Sunday church dresses, everything was casual and remained that way for years. And then a few years ago I lost weight and decided it was time to dress up. It was a fun time. Perhaps it was armour.&nbsp;Or maybe it was&nbsp;playing "dress up" so I could see what it felt like to be in the style I always wanted to be in, until I realized I can be me without wearing that style. I also had someone close to me comment that it's hard to go on spur-of-the-moment day hikes when we're out adventuring because I'm usually not wearing appropriate shoes for it. (Which I translate as, too dressy.) It wasn't meant badly at all, they were simply expressing a desire to want to do certain things with me and felt inhibited by my usual trendy shoes. So I kinda took that to heart more than I realized.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>I love how you've described your ideal outfit. It is indeed a powerful combination and worth working to wear!! xo</div></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427471 Mon, 19 Jan 2015 14:40:45 +0000 Suz 1427471@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fascinating. I think you expressed it well yourself when you said that you may be in mourning for your old sartorial choices -- and the "you" who'd have made those choices. But now you have moved on and have different needs.&nbsp;</p> <p>When I was younger, my style was dressier. Not with heels, bombshell or super glamorous makeup, etc -- because I've never been able to pull that off. But I rarely wore denim, often wore skirts and dresses (when others were in denim), always wore <b>some </b>makeup,&nbsp;and so on. Then I changed cities, changed jobs -- and eventually my style relaxed. Even so,&nbsp;I am still dressier than many in my environment.&nbsp;</p> <p>One thing I remember from my dressier days is that looking "finished" in that way can offer a kind of protection. It's a bit of armour. It's as your surfaces can deflect what is out there.&nbsp;</p> <p>Maybe you don't need that armour any more? Maybe it had begun to feel like a straightjacket?&nbsp;</p> <p>I think my own ideal outfit combines the best of casual (relaxed, "effortless," comfortable) with the best of dressy (polished, elegant, some structure). That's a powerful combination.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427405 Mon, 19 Jan 2015 11:15:27 +0000 Summer 1427405@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Follow your instincts, Keturah, and take it slowly as your style changes. &nbsp;Also, there is probably still a place in your wardrobe for the dressy/exotic clothes you love - nights out, perhaps? &nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427389 Mon, 19 Jan 2015 08:15:57 +0000 rachylou 1427389@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had a boss who'd been a banker in a former life and mourned his suits, but he started wearing different things because they didn't - ahem - *suit* the Silicon Valley. It's not happy making though, dressing for a life other than the one you have. It can feel and look fraudulent, dissonant, be super uncomfortable. I can't say how much happier I am that I no longer buy clothes, for example, for dressing for dinner (which my family used to do, dinner jackets and everything). I miss the grand ritual of dressing for dinner, but I don't miss at all having useless clothes. And frankly, I'm sure my liver is pleased, what with all the alcohol that life entailed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427306 Mon, 19 Jan 2015 02:53:16 +0000 Jaime 1427306@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"Perhaps I am mourning a sartorial period of my life as I grow and move on." That. I think it is very insightful. I never had a period where I did the polished head to toe look, but can certainly imagine missing it if I had. I think the world in general has become more casual, and with age comes other priorities, and you have moved on but there is a certain nostalgia looking back. You look terrific in your new found style and I think your new icons are just right. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427196 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 23:20:25 +0000 K.M. 1427196@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was fascinated to read your post. Partly because I've always been casual. I was dressier in the past than I am now--more dresses, skirts, tights, mid-heels--especially given that my environments (from college to professional) have always been super-casual. But I never wore makeup regularly, never wore high heels or suits or very formal outfits other than at special occasions. So for me it's so interesting to read about a different experience.<br />My thought when I read your post is that the people I know who've always been dressy and glamourous always manage to maintain a sense of glamour about themselves even when they dress down. It's more than the eyeliner and the pointy heels: it's how they move, the look in their eyes, a certain confidence and elegance that comes from within. I'm sure you'll bring the glamour to casual and not the other way around. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427186 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 23:02:59 +0000 crutcher 1427186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You, my dear, are growing and changing and evolving in a most delicious way...From your trip to LA and a taste of casual cool to the various encounters you have made with fashion since, you are making strides to who you are meant to be...I think your changes are just so spot on...I applaud you for sticking with it and finding out who you are really meant to be...Pack up the shoes and let them rest for awhile...You never know when they may be added again to the mix...<br />And keep on growing and changing...Change is beautiful in a costly way for what you are saying hello to also involves a good-by to other things...I prefer to think it is adieu until a later time...<br />Tobs and I vote for you and your new style goals...hugs! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427151 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 22:12:32 +0000 unfrumped 1427151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It sounds more like evolution though may seem like revolution.<br />First, we all change somewhat and get new viewpoints and experiences and can certainly incorporate those without feeling we've abandoned "self".<br />Then, we're surrounded by changing fashions so even not being a slave to fashion, at some point the flow will surround us and some things will seem more right than others. That may be what you're feeling in more relaxed items.</p> <p>Yay for Phrynie Fisher! She is certainly not casual, but her wardrobe is more drapey than constricting (mostly).<br />So maybe you'll find the happy place of style, fabrications, juxtaposing elements that puts your own stamp on whatever is your "new" look.</p> <p>And all of this to say, 5-10 years from now you may have&nbsp; more evolution (or along the way). </p> <p>I do empathize with being face-to-face with feeling that a change is occurring, because sometimes it takes a while to figure it out. Or, haha, I may never really get there! While doing that, I may head out the door in outfits that later don't look quite right, but I was experimenting. I've tried not to beat myself up about this (I had a post on how it felt on end of day remorse for the less than ideal experiment!) and to recognize that it's also the way I've come up with some high-happiness results, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427142 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 21:57:34 +0000 Anonymous 1427142@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm going down a new path, too. My path started with different style shoes that I had to buy for the sake of my fussy feet. So different shoes, different outfits to go with the shoes. It took a while for me to research and process information to make a decision on which way to go. Now I'm happy, though, and think you will also find peace once you come to terms with your clothing choices. I don't think it's a bad idea to question your choices and wonder how it's all going to turn out. Things have a way of working themselves out, though. Don't stress too much about it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427095 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 21:09:25 +0000 tulle 1427095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Please don't feel that you should apologize or feel guilty--either for changing, or for taking your time about it!&nbsp; It sounds to me as though you are on a happy path, so why not just follow where it leads? I once heard a wise person say, "All change involves mourning." It seems perfectly plausible to "mourn" those high-heeled patent platform shoes while moving on to a freer, softer, more idiosyncratic style;&nbsp; you'll get rid of them when you're ready.&nbsp; And if you want to keep a portion of your closet reserved--at least for now--for glam-girl dressing up, why not? You can be confident that you'll look beautiful whatever you wear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427051 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 19:40:01 +0000 Staysfit 1427051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have definitely changed also. &nbsp;Maybe not as much as you, but I am not wearing my bangle bracelets anymore, and they were my signature. &nbsp;I have no idea why I stopped, but they just don't seem to fit anymore with my new sense of style. &nbsp;I feel like I nailed my style descriptors and style statement, and everything is rolling off of that. &nbsp;My closet has become tidy and efficient.&nbsp;I have developed a preference for&nbsp;a much cleaner, simpler, look. &nbsp;Less embellishment. &nbsp;On the other side, I have been spending more on individual pieces. I love every item I purchase. &nbsp;I am following my heart.&nbsp;&nbsp;I have been purging without guilt, pulling out items that were impossible to let go of before now. &nbsp;It seems clear what belongs and what doesn't. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427050 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 19:37:23 +0000 Helena 1427050@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Keturah, thank you so much for sharing this - I could have written most of this myself and so totally relate. Except for me I am still processing and it's been years! I used to have a very sharp style - all suits and pointy heels and black with a bold colored purse and a bob and red lipstick, etc. Very city -&nbsp;I was always dressy - even going for a walk I would wear wedges rather than flats.<br />Then I moved the the 'burbs and because a mom and stuck with comfy casuals for a while and discovered flats, and now that my kids are older, I feel a bit lost (much less so now thanks to YLF) because my old looks just didn't work for me anymore! Somewhere along the way I became a casual girl!</p> <p>I would say - stick with it and embrace this new-found freedom and happiness! Perhaps try to find the happy place between your old style and what's speaking to your heart now - often times we do pendulum swings when all that's need is a few tweaks. On the other hand, maybe the pendulum swing is needed to break out of our old habits? </p> <p>I'm not sure - I just know that it's NEVER just about the clothes for me, and perhaps you are the same. A big style shift is just one part of a larger shift - a tangible part that symbolizes so much more. Enjoy it -&nbsp;there's no life without growth after all - even though at times it can feel a little too unsettling for comfort! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427048 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 19:34:51 +0000 Marilyn 1427048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Totally understand.&nbsp; I'm going through a style change as well.....I'm happy with the direction I'm moving in. &nbsp; But, I'm working through a big closet purge and honestly it's been stressing me out.&nbsp; I feel guilty about getting rid of so much and I also have this feeling of, "I'm not going to anything left to wear!".&nbsp; That feeling isn't even rational because I haven't been wearing the things I'm pulling and the things I am wearing are still happily hanging in my closet.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-recent-style-shift-feeling-a-bit-nuts-long-post-sorry#post-1427026 Sun, 18 Jan 2015 19:07:48 +0000 Keturah 1427026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Modern Casual Chic: a style change for me</p> <p>Please forbear with a long post. I am processing what I wonder is either a recent style shift or maybe just a deeper understanding of my style. I noticed a couple posts on the forum referencing the same about style change. </p> <p>So here's something I just observed this week. I have been thinking hard about what to wear for day trips this upcoming summer. I don't like super casual looks. They always look either sloppy, frumpy, or tomboy to my eye.</p> <p>However, lately it seems lately I am subconsciously making purchases and outfits based on this. It is ending up more casual and carefree, something I haven't experienced since childhood. And... So far I'm really please!! It still feels like "me" while not being so glam I can't travel for hours in a car wearing it or worrying about a piece of hair being out of place. </p> <p>However it's also difficult. I am afraid of losing the very luxurious and glam<br /> side of me. </p> <p>For instance, I used to wear winged liner, red lipstick, and have every pencil skirt and heeled outfit in perfect place--as if It was 1955 and I was on my way to the Tropicana Club every single day. I worked very hard to make sure everything was polished from perfectly coiffed hair to high heels. </p> <p>Last spring I visited LA and realized how effortlessly casual everyone was. It spoke to my heart. When summer arrived, I started going on day trips to see local wilderness sights. I relaxed more, got a tan, wore cutoff denim shorts, and didn't look back. Then late last year I discovered YLF and the theme of making fashion fun was so refreshing that I couldn't get over it! (Even after a failed attempt at s seasonal wardrobe capsule. )</p> <p>This new year for the first time, I find myself wearing softer and more natural makeup. I use powder eyeshadow for liner and blend it a bit Lips get a soft mauve or rose lipgloss. I brush out my curls or carefully do a blowout for soft "bedhead" hair. </p> <p>My closet is changing. I find myself<br /> Choosing fluid fit bottoms and softer blousy tops. I am wearing flats again!! Everything about Sophia Loren 1960s and 1970's style and Brigitte Bardot's 1960s style catches my eye. DVF causes elation. Miss Phrynie Fisher's 1920s ensembles make me swoon. I still love exotic and glam, but everything I choose seems to be less formal, more effortless. </p> <p>And I have orphaned shoe guilt!! I have 2 pairs of gorgeous platform heels. They are very classy and slightly retro ladylike. (I could see Catherine ZJ wearing them.) I bought them on clearance, and wore them frequently. And now... I feel awkward wearing them and yet don't want to let go of them. Strangely enough, I will still wear my stiletto Oxford brogues without batting an eye. Or my 4" espadrille wedge. But I slip on those patent leather platform heels and immediately feel uncomfortable and question my outfit. </p> <p>I am probably processing this all far, far too much. I'm sorry none of this succinct. I know it's just clothes!! I have always felt a bit boxed in by certain fashion style descriptors or "types" and taken it all so seriously. And now as I go with the clothes that give me joy, and have fun with fashion (and life!) the sense of freedom I feel<br /> is both wonderful and scary. Walking into my closet these past couple months with confidence and happiness is foreign. </p> <p>I'll stop now. Sorry for the giant philosophical closet purge of heart and mind. Perhaps I am mourning a sartorial period of my life as I grow and move on. Or perhaps I'm just getting back in touch with my real style joys.</p> <p>Anyone else go through this or am I just being nutso about it?</p> <p>xo </p>