https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 14 Apr 2026 22:11:57 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307942 Mon, 13 Feb 2023 10:08:44 +0000 jussie 2307942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ginger you dress beautifully, and I found your post interesting and well written... I totally understood you were referring to an aesthetic, and didn’t intend to make any kind of divisive chat. My apologies. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307883 Mon, 13 Feb 2023 00:41:32 +0000 Sal 2307883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am sorry that I contributed to the discussion going off track and in a direction you did not intend. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307878 Mon, 13 Feb 2023 00:14:06 +0000 rachylou 2307878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My one Ohio boyfriend held close to these principles, but it didn’t produce that Prince Charles style. He was quite natty, but not tweedy. His polos were more golf shirts and had a pocket. One other key difference was everything he owned was brown. He hilariously one day said he was going to get new towels (after like 30 years) and then he purposely bought green ones to shock me! Lolol! He was so funny </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307793 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 13:46:44 +0000 Helena 2307793@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Suz said!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307792 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 13:39:44 +0000 SarahD8 2307792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes I'm also really sorry if I contributed to those bad feelings Ginger and I echo Suz's comments about your style! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307764 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 04:31:14 +0000 Suz 2307764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Ginger, </b>I'm so sorry, I hope I didn't contribute to that feeling. </p> <p>I think you dress beautifully and elegantly and harmoniously whatever name we give to it! </p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307757 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 02:45:42 +0000 Helena 2307757@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh my gosh Sarah!! Absolutely not! And I'm glad you clarified as I'd hate to give that impression. I was agreeing with your comments abou privilege. Clearly clumsily! X</p> <p>Sorry GInger, I'm sure I helped push this in a direction you're not comfortable with. Also not intentional ... A complex topic I guess. Xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307754 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 02:42:01 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2307754@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ginger, I’m sorry. That’s such a rough feeling. I see some similarities between my preferred way of dressing and what you outlined, find it a bit humorous, and that’s that for me. </p> <p>But this ish just got real for me—maybe. Country club casual is perhaps a similar aesthetic to “old money”. My parents and sister just called to invite my friend and me to visit them in Florida, including a county club brunch. If he comes, I’ll be surprised—and very curious re what he would choose to wear to Sunday brunch at the club, even just from a dress code perspective, no further implications required. Think I’ll advise khakis and not a polo shirt, but *which* not-polo shirt? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307744 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 01:23:32 +0000 Ginger 2307744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Everyone, I regret posting this. The last thing I wanted was a post about judging others and breaking down how bad/wrong/mistaken the whole idea of "old money" is and people are. I was purely intrigued by how some of my own preferences and actions seem to mirror what is perceived as "old money attitudes. I'm afraid I don't have the energy to engage with the way the discussion has developed.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307743 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 01:10:48 +0000 SarahD8 2307743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hope I am not passive-aggressive flexing when wearing my secondhand wardrobe! I don't *think* you meant to accuse me of that <b>Helena</b> but just stating for the record!</p> <p>I also wanted to say that I identify with a lot of the stuff that <b>Ginger</b> identifies as being common elements of her style and the "old money" stereotype -- prefer to stick with what works and repair, tolerating some wear/patina; focus on practicality; favor natural fibers. Yes, yes, and yes!</p> <p>Also the idea of passing things around among family members/generations...you know I love narrative in dressing, and to me the more boho elements especially of my summer wardrobe "fit" because I imagine that I've filched them from some older relative. IDK, this totally makes sense inside my head.</p> <p>Also wanted to pick up on <b>Ginger's</b> comment in her initial post:</p> <p><i>"The other curious thing about this "old money" aesthetic is that it's rooted in the styles and usages of the 1920s, 1930s, and 1940s. It's as if clothing became codified at that time"</i></p> <p>It strikes me that this is the era just before the explosive development of mass consumerism, no? So maybe it is somehow about a refusal to participate in that mass consumerism -- again, as a kind of passive-aggressive flex? Really interesting to think about....</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307704 Sat, 11 Feb 2023 16:55:15 +0000 Anonymous 2307704@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All I know is, I dressed for (financial) success until I had success, then I kind of went into reverse, adopting a more RATEish (for me) look. &nbsp;I just felt like I didn’t have to try as hard. &nbsp;It felt good to have the choice. &nbsp;Whether your money is old or new, just dress the way you think is right for your life.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307686 Sat, 11 Feb 2023 14:53:01 +0000 Helena 2307686@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sarah, too true. There is an element of passive-aggressive flexing going on ... Not much different from the tech billionaire wearing a t-shirt to board meetings because he's so powerful he can, or GOOP herself showing off her no makeup face (but not getting into the thousands she spends on skincare) ... There simply is no "old money" aesthetic without the implication of "in contrast to the great unwashed" ... Maybe it's semantic as I don't miffed about coastal grandmother, let's say, even though that's a fairly upper class aesthetic in a way ... But it stands alone as an aesthetic. It's doesn't rely on it's superiority to something else to make it what it is ... If that makes sense? Sorry for chiming in again! I have feelings here, clearly!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307683 Sat, 11 Feb 2023 14:14:19 +0000 SarahD8 2307683@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is interesting how social class influences the perceptions of clothing wear. That is, the royal family can wear threadbare or visibly patched clothing and they look some flavor of eccentric/posh/frugal. A poorer person doing the same might simply look shabby. I'm very conscious of this as a white, upper middle class woman who wears a lot of secondhand clothing. It's a choice that at least in part is afforded to me by my privilege. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307658 Sat, 11 Feb 2023 10:09:48 +0000 jussie 2307658@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do love how quality materials last well, and, here’s the thing, sometimes actually somehow look better with age.<br /> Ginger you wrote an interesting and thought provoking post.<br /> This aesthetic seems a bit of a preppy- dark academia hybrid?<br /> On an emotional level it’s a bit disconcerting though, all this talk about old money. Mainly coz I don’t have it hahaha. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long/page/2#post-2307590 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 23:22:17 +0000 Sal 2307590@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No longer Suz- our friend now has dementia sadly and is in London. My parents visited her when she lived there. And my uncle too.</p> <p>I nannied for a year for the landed gentry - got to see pheasant shooting and hunting and go to tea at Althorp, ancestral home of Diana’s family, the Spencer’s. She wasn’t there but Charles Spencer’s ex wife Victoria was. It was a window into a life very different to mine.</p> <p>Sorry Ginger for the highjack!</p> <p>And yes- I agree with Suz re your style and the similarities - it really works too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307587 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 23:08:32 +0000 Suz 2307587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>OMG. people!! Sal</b> has an in to Downtown Abbey!!!!&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Ginger</b>, leaving aside the non-fashion related connotations to do with "old money," I can see how some aspects of this aesthetic (if we can call it that) or this set of preferences might appeal to you. Or how you might look to the late Queen for inspiration. The duchess next door is the perfect moniker for you, really -- it gets at your regal beauty as well as your down-to-earth practicality and the classic nature of the styles you gravitate toward.&nbsp;</p> <p>So one thing I'm wondering about "old money" as a fashion aesthetic...it seems like something one can't just put on, right? So the idea of promoting it as a trend seems really weird!&nbsp;</p> <p>Maybe "old money" is "coastal grandmother" in winter, LOL.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307570 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 20:49:29 +0000 Sal 2307570@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It’s been an interesting thread. Thanks for sharing your stories. </p> <p>I am more familiar with the British old<br /> Money/aristocracy through living there and some work and loose connections we have to the owners of “Downton Abbey” - a family friend lived there for several years.</p> <p>The wear and tear and patina on leather only works on natural materials and certain types of items. It doesn’t work on black polyester tops or stretch leggings. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307569 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 20:38:39 +0000 catherine 2307569@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lovely. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307568 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 20:34:37 +0000 Helena 2307568@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene *applause*</p> <p>Thanks for sharing such an interesting and thought/discussion provoking topic Ginger! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307564 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 19:16:23 +0000 Gaylene 2307564@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m wondering at how a twenty-something self-categorizes as an “old money” insider—maybe her grandfather did wear Gucci loafers but weren’t those the same loafers which were sniffed at in the 80s as ostentatious markers of the nouveau riche?</p> <p>Calling something an “aesthetic” doesn’t hide the misinformation disseminated by carelessly ascribing values, actions, and beliefs to labels which are meaningless—the word “stereotype” works just as well. Caring for my personal possessions and adopting a responsible attitude towards consumerism has nothing to do with artificially constructed social classes seen through the lens of marketers and people&nbsp;who believe their inclinations are superior to those of other people.</p> <p>*getting down from my soapbox*&nbsp;</p> <p>But, as I get older, I get more impatient with barely hidden hostility to those who make different wardrobe choices. Wearing mended clothing is wonderful, but so are outfits which are absolutely pristine. Historic tweeds and sweaters look great, but so does a new outfit from Zara which puts a spring in the step of the 20-something office worker. Perfectly done makeup and hair makes me smile, but so does that bare-faced senior with frizzy hair and a a twinkle in her eye. Gear on a young mother pushing a stroller, ball gowns at the beach, bare legs in the winter—it makes me happy to see women of all ages making choices which are meaningful to them. No more lists of Do and Don’t, ageist comments, and sneers at adventurous fashion choices—it might startle me, but I promise to follow that with a full-on smile &nbsp;</p> <div><br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307563 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 19:13:41 +0000 Cardiff girl 2307563@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting hearing about ‘Old money “in America.Just goes to show people are the same all over. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307548 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 18:16:47 +0000 Vildy 2307548@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Owing to this thread, I looked in on Saltwater New England yesterday and, yes, many of the commenters there are appallingly rude and disdainful and doesn't look like anyone's calling them out on it.&nbsp; I recall that several years ago, when the blog went under another name, some internet sleuths delved into their background, upbringing and viciously trashed them for their pretense.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307535 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 17:35:58 +0000 Jenn 2307535@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m not completely sold on this. Didn’t we learn recently that Prince Harry shops at TK Maxx? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307527 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 16:58:49 +0000 Synne 2307527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Loved reading this! Thanks for bringing this up, super fascinating. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307522 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 16:51:19 +0000 Helena 2307522@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nodding along with many of the comments ... all I can add is, if the "old money" aesthetic ever takes legitimate hold among us peasants, you can be guaranteed the real old money will quietly but decisively change their aesthetic! (I remember studying some graphs that literally mapped this phenomenon out in a marketing class I took years ago). It's a club uniform, and as far as I can tell, it's your trust fund that allows you to walk amongst those in the club, not your resoled Guccis, no matter how old and authentic they may be. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307519 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 16:28:49 +0000 cat2 2307519@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am not at all inclined to follow this look. I grew up on the West Coast, and find the East Coast old money and social stratification appalling. I went to a private college that gave me direct exposure to it. Spend an hour reading the comments on Salt Water New England about the rest of us not being their kind, and you will likely agree. I grew up with a grandparent and parent who made it through the depression; their appreciation for hard work and creativity in making ends meet is what inspires me, much more than the choices of an arrogantly privileged few. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307517 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 16:22:32 +0000 Olive Green 2307517@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I seem to be an expert on Texas wealth. Lived here for 35 years. Worked as a housekeeper to the ultra wealthy while putting myself through undergrad and grad school, I am familiar with the closets, lol.&nbsp;<br />Also familiar with the astoundingly feudal and patriarchal system of old and not so old money here, and in New Mexico. The wealth gap in rural areas is extreme. And very unsettling.&nbsp;<br />The closer you are to Austin, the more discreet (by Texas standards) is the display of wealth. Not coincidentally, this is a more generally liberal and educated demographic. The wealth is getting spread around, and the old money there is probably more in tune with East Coast standards. &nbsp;<br />Ive got lots more, but wanted to explain why the high end escort look (Marie Antoinette comes to mind) might be prevalent.&nbsp;<br />Extreme wealth gaps, and a largely patriarchal upper strata.&nbsp;<br />These ladies are NOT stupid, and frequently very generous.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307516 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 16:18:12 +0000 unfrumped 2307516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What I like to take away from it all is reducing time shopping for new items and spending appropriate time taking care of my clothes— sometimes I assume I’m taking care of them and then find some neglected maintenance, or something, that if done, would make the item more appealing— scrub the sneakers, do some de- pilling, and continue to SYC &amp; make outfits. Or, if that isn’t working and the items is proving to be too high- maintenance or beyond that ( meaning effort/ result/ desirability/ usefulness, then perhaps it needs to be culled. Then, possibly replaced with an item that is better in all those respects, if truly needed. </p> <p>I think it’s also good to try to learn more about which types and brands of garments have my favorite qualities, even if expensive- not to just open the wallet but to be alert to value. However, I think overall, things have changed for the worse ove the decades, and it’s very unpredictable regarding “ new” items. Hence the interest in resale, but not so great if one doesn’t have access to good shops. Im aware of the large online market but it’s harder for me to grasp that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307513 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 15:55:23 +0000 phoebe 2307513@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agreeing with LJP, kkards and Janet</p> <p>These are principles practiced by many that don't need to be associated with wealth, geography or culture to be valuable</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-old-money-instincts-long#post-2307493 Fri, 10 Feb 2023 14:22:07 +0000 Anonymous 2307493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Now we know how the rich get richer — they rarely buy new clothes! &nbsp;</p> <p>I’ve become acquainted over the years with two generational-wealth ranching families. &nbsp;These are extremely wealthy people, but you’d never know it. &nbsp;They never talk about money or flaunt what they have. &nbsp;I went to the wedding of one of the daughters recently, though, and it was held on a huge ranch in a gorgeous but understated home. &nbsp;The bride’s dress was beautiful but understated, and her parents were dressed in a similar style. &nbsp;The food, wine, and entertainment were absolutely off the charts, though. &nbsp;They wanted everyone to have a good time, and it showed. &nbsp;Sometimes old money comes across as rather miserly, but I didn’t see that here. &nbsp; </p>