https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 10:56:47 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2166006 Sat, 16 Jan 2021 23:11:52 +0000 Ledonna N. 2166006@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gail I’m sending you a virtual hug YLF off Topic is such a great place to let it all go. He sounds like an amazing man. I pray that you all get to spend some time together in whatever capacity that may be . Trust that it is okay not to be okay. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2165428 Thu, 14 Jan 2021 02:02:50 +0000 AJ 2165428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My heart goes out to your brother!&nbsp; I am so glad he has you in his life.</p> <p>Would he be open to you recording his favorite memories/stories as he converses with you?&nbsp; That might be a fun way to spend some time together.&nbsp; Maybe have him direct you on how to make his favorite dishes<br />during your video calls?</p> <p>It's amazing how many siblings can not get along for whatever their reasons, so reading this and seeing how much you care for your brother is so very touching and I do hope he will be able to make the trip in June. &lt;big hugs&gt;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2165345 Wed, 13 Jan 2021 16:49:13 +0000 Barbara Diane 2165345@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear about your brother.</p> <p>There are so many interesting lectures/book talks, museum tours, etc. on so many topics online, maybe you and he could either watch the same one and then talk about it, or watch different ones and then each tell the other about what you watched. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2165195 Tue, 12 Jan 2021 21:07:14 +0000 Deborah 2165195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry to hear this. Your brother sounds like an amazing man and this must be so difficult for him on so many levels and of course for you too. My sister in law had ALS so I might know a little of what you are going through. Will be thinking of you both xxx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2165128 Tue, 12 Jan 2021 14:36:05 +0000 Glory 2165128@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh sweet Gail this is terrible news. I do hope that he is able to travel and you can enjoy time together. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164495 Fri, 08 Jan 2021 17:23:05 +0000 Gail 2164495@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you everyone for all your perspective, advice and kind words, they are all helpful and it's nice to feel the YLF community is safe place to post this.<br />&nbsp;We are video chatting every other day now and that seems to be helping him. &nbsp;Although there isn't too much to talk about as neither of us are doing anything lol. It does make us feel more connected though and he says it breaks up his day. Here's hoping he will be eligible for the vaccine soon as he is vulnerable. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164386 Fri, 08 Jan 2021 04:41:05 +0000 kellygirl 2164386@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm glad that you were able to share this and hope that it eases the burden even a little bit. So sorry about your brother's condition. I cannot imagine how devastating that must be for him and how hard it must be for you. It's heartbreaking.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164339 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 23:58:59 +0000 Anonymous 2164339@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear this- hugs! He sounds like an amazing guy! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164282 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 19:58:19 +0000 Cardiff girl 2164282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>These diseases are one of the cruellest of all and for it to strike in the midst of COVID...My heart goes out to you both. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164247 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 15:17:19 +0000 slim cat 2164247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so sorry - it's an awful thing to go through such illness alone and during coronavirus time. I hope you'll have that time together this year and will be able to ease some suffering. Love and hope. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164245 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 15:08:09 +0000 celia 2164245@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry to hear this, it must be very painful for both of you. Sending virtual hugs to you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164227 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 14:31:38 +0000 Joyce B 2164227@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wishing you and your brother continued strength in these very difficult times. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164219 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 14:11:11 +0000 Helena 2164219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gail, I'm so incredibly sorry to hear your news about your brother. Your love for him comes through so clearly. I love what Rachy said, and the grief is real, even though he is still with you. Covid has been so especially cruel to people in his situation; it's just heartbreaking and there's no way around it. He is lucky to have a loyal sister to lean on during this awful time. Sending so much love to you both.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164189 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 08:46:11 +0000 Bijou 2164189@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy really does give the best advice!</p> <p>Gail, it really helps to have a voice and debrief on traumatic events, so I am glad that the forum can help you in such a small way. I hope that things improve for you both on what is a very tough diagnosis with little medical support being provided at the moment.</p> <p>Seeing a loved one deteriorate is particularly difficult, especially someone so motivated and capable as your brother. Whilst it is an incredibly cruel condition, the fact that your brother is of sound mind is comforting. My Father had Parkinson's disease and was particularly worried about the impact that the final stages and medications impair mental judgement. The physical decline was tough, but the loss of personality and judgement that was starting to emerge at the time of his death was horrendous.&nbsp;</p> <p>Wishing you and your brother strength and having the trip to look forward to improves his spirits. It is heart breaking to think your brother is crying each morning at what he has lost, I hope he is able to attend virtual counselling to help him deal with what is a most depressing condition. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164135 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 02:47:21 +0000 rachylou 2164135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry, Gail. I do hope you can see him this year and he can make the trip. I don’t know that there’s anything to do but come to an acceptance. And, I suppose, as a professional patient myself, give yourself permission to let go of the grief when it... gets boring. I know that sounds odd and terrible, but it’s ok to laugh when things are bad... sometimes things are so bad it’s ridiculous... and you breakdown and laugh and say, Damn, that’s F*ck€d up! And well, you know, eff it really. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164132 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 02:25:42 +0000 Eliza 2164132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gail- there is so much grief and loss in your description of what your brother is facing and how the pandemic has amplified the challenges. In addition to the sadness, the affection you have for each other and your ability to “walk beside” him across the miles is palpable and likely meaningful to both of you. Wishing you peace and comfort, as well as the chance to share time together. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164118 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 00:44:59 +0000 Anonymous 2164118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's an absolute horror story to lose those qualities we loved best about ourselves and feel that our purpose is disintegrating,&nbsp;I don't think it's possible not to grieve for what is lost even though it can make the present even more difficult to bear.</p> <p>He sounds like he has an adventurers spirit and I hope he will find a way to have some happiness even now.</p> <p>&nbsp;</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164109 Thu, 07 Jan 2021 00:03:57 +0000 Anonymous 2164109@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am also so sorry that you and your brother are going through this. I learned with my mother’s MS that it is very difficult for a smart able-bodied person to lose the ability to do things. My mother fought so hard to feed herself. My heart goes out to you and your brother. His trips to see you will be encouraging for him </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164100 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 23:42:24 +0000 unfrumped 2164100@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry about your brother’s condition and the way the pandemic is affecting time to be together. Wishing you both find opportunities for peace, and loving family time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164094 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 23:17:56 +0000 Angie 2164094@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Gail</b>, this is very sad, stressful, and challenging. I'm awfully sorry you and your brother have to go through this. Sending strength and healing thoughts.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164093 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 23:16:54 +0000 Style Fan 2164093@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry for you and your brother.&nbsp; What a difficult time this must be. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164032 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 18:10:11 +0000 Minaminu 2164032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Terrible news, I am very sorry for you and your brother for these challenging times. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164030 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 17:57:20 +0000 kkards 2164030@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gail- my heart goes out to you and your brother. How difficult this must be for both of you. I’m so sorry you are going thru this.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164023 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 17:41:06 +0000 RobinF 2164023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh so sorry to hear this. That sounds like a terrible illness. It's hard to imagine what he is going through right now. Hopefully you have some good times with him when he visits.</p> <p>Bad news in my family too which makes it hard to celebrate with everyone looking forward to a new year.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-lovely-brother#post-2164012 Wed, 06 Jan 2021 16:37:49 +0000 Gail 2164012@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>&nbsp;I apologize in advance, this post is a downer.</p> <p>It's just the two of us, he is 61 and lives in the New Forest area of the UK.<br />He has spent his whole life being an achiever. He is very active, athletic and very smart. Always on many sports teams and played field hockey into his late 40's. After that he took up cycling and became very good, he qualified to represent Great Britain in a race in France about 4 years ago and finished high up in his age group.<br />He was a dentist for 10 years and then became a Doctor. For a time he had two practices before deciding to be a Dr full-time.<br />I live in the USA and had been bugging him to come and visit for several years instead of me always going to the UK, so it was sort of a surprise when at the end of September 2019 he told me he would like to come in two weeks. I was thrilled but the thought did cross my mind that something was weird and it all seemed rather sudden.<br />My instincts were correct as he came over to tell me that he has Multiple System Atrophy. &nbsp;I believe it used to be called Shy Drager Syndrome. The outcome is very similar to ALS, &nbsp;being trapped in your own body, your mind is fine. We talked a lot and it was very difficult but we made plans for him to come over for an extended visit in the summer of 2020 and we would all do his USA bucket list. He planned to come on the Queen Mary 2 which is on his list. Of course COVID hit and he has been able to do absolutely NOTHING. His symptoms have increased greatly . He can no longer walk without poles, cannot ride a &nbsp;bike, no longer drive, speech is affected, eating and swallowing difficult, dexterity changed and urinary issues. His time to be able to do anything is so limited and COVID has made things worse. He is now planning to come here for a week at the end of June on the QM2 &nbsp;a far cry from the moths long trio we had planned but at least it's something. However I am a little worried that he'll even be able to manage that the way things seem to be progressing.<br />I know he cries most mornings as he feels so useless. This is also a man who could cook anything, build anything and fix anything. When he was a dentist he put a whole new surgery in his house. He built kitchens, decks , fixed cars ! He was the team Dr for his sons hockey team that had a school trip to South Africa. <br />&nbsp;Sadly there is no cure for this and as it is so rare very limited study groups and no trial treatment that we are aware of. I'm horrified that communicating with him will get harder and eventually be pretty non existent . I know there is technology for talking down the road but it's not the same. It's the long slow goodbye, my brother is terrified.<br />There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of him and feel sad . I'm trying to smile more and think positive about life but there's a hole in my heart. I find I can't focus on anything anymore. I know many people are going through difficult seasons , this is mine.<br />Not sure why I decided to write all this today but it feels good to write it down and get it out.&nbsp; </p>