https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 23:57:27 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today/page/2#post-1005646 Wed, 14 Aug 2013 14:35:36 +0000 anne 1005646@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I really feel for you Ingunn, and those others who have added to this thread. I&nbsp;am also grateful that now we have moved to the city, there is a very high chance my daughters won't have to move out of home if they go to Uni! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today/page/2#post-1005080 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 18:33:01 +0000 Ingunn 1005080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for all your comforting words and shared stories. It really helps! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today/page/2#post-1005058 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 18:08:05 +0000 Anonymous 1005058@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's the way I felt when my DD left to do her internship in FL--and that was just for a few months.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today/page/2#post-1004971 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 16:12:50 +0000 goldenpig 1004971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a bittersweet moment, you described it&nbsp;so beautifully, thank you for sharing. You must be so proud of your daughter!</p> <p>I still remember my first days away at college. My dad went out to CA with me to help me get settled and I was so embarrassed he kept wanting to hang out with&nbsp;me. I'm like, "Da-ad! Why don't you go to the parent events!" Sheesh! How can I fit in with the other students&nbsp;when my dorky dad keeps hanging around me?</p> <p>Then on the day he left we said goodbye and I closed my dorm room&nbsp;door. I forgot to ask or&nbsp;tell him something (I don't remember what, but it was something minor) so I opened the door again as he was turning away and I could see tears in my eyes. That touched me, even 18 year old me. My dad passed away from cancer while I was&nbsp;in medical school and I still miss him. I'm sure I'll be bawling when my daughter goes off to college.</p> <p>Hope your daughter's first days go smoothly and good luck to you with the adjustment! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today/page/2#post-1004689 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 04:50:19 +0000 Ingunn 1004689@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As a high school teacher I know a little about over protective parents too, Gaylene and Ceit. In Norway, we call them curling parents - does that make sense? They'll call anyone to fix anything for their kids, and the result is very often a brat. </p> <p>Thank you, everyone, for your warm and comforting words. It is hard, but we're adjusting, all of us. My daughter called us yesterday, and it felt so good talking to her. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today/page/2#post-1004679 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 04:09:47 +0000 Adelfa 1004679@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was so sad when DD1 left! But I can truly say that though we were close then, we are closer now (she is 28 and lives 350 miles away). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1004617 Tue, 13 Aug 2013 02:29:58 +0000 nancylee 1004617@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Ingunn. &nbsp;I know firsthand how wrenching that good-bye is...and the empty bedroom. &nbsp;*sniff*</p> <p>Our son is leaving soon for his final year away at school, and I have to say that it <i><b>does</b></i> get easier with each year. &nbsp;Slowly, slowly you all adjust to a new lifestyle, but it is so very hard to close that chapter of childhood when they go away for the first time. &nbsp;You will be ok in time, and so will she. &nbsp;Knowing she's doing well and thriving will make everything easier. &nbsp;:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1004439 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 21:01:32 +0000 texstyle 1004439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>How proud you must be - and strong too, keeping a happy front forward to her. She is lucky to have such a wonderful mother. Congratulations to you and warmest wishes for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1004339 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 18:50:29 +0000 rachylou 1004339@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's a hard adjustment, no doubt about it. It's physiologically disorienting even. I got a dog in the end... mm, and now DD is back home living with me... so dog <i>and </i>DD. Full house. Lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1004022 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 09:08:44 +0000 Hil 1004022@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs Ingunn! My 10 year old son is preparing for his first school camp for four days and I feel a little&nbsp;terrified at the thought! You're a brave mom! xxx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1004005 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 07:07:42 +0000 Lyn D. 1004005@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending you warm thoughts Ingunn!<br />We are going to&nbsp;&nbsp;a University Open Day&nbsp;for my eldest in a couple of weeks time, and I can't believe it either.<br />At least she has the choice of a few places only a short drive away from here, and she plans to stay at home for a while yet.<br />Still it is the idea that they are 'out there ' on their own and young adults that pulls on the heart-strings.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003948 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 02:57:52 +0000 Gaylene 1003948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It was my experience teaching first year students that really drove home how I wanted to handle my son's first year away from home. Like Ceit, I was dumbfounded at calls from parents wanting information about their sons and daughters--even to the point where one father asked me to tell him if his daughter had a boyfriend now that she was away from home. He became quite upset when I told him to talk to his daughter, not me. I really think he thought I'd be willing to send him regular updates on his daughter's extracurricular activities along with her marks! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003945 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 02:50:48 +0000 Echo 1003945@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Her going to med school and being ready and prepared to live semi-independently is a credit to you as a parent. Still, though, the absence of someone so close to you is difficult.</p> <p>My eldest is only 13, but it is still difficult learning to let go in the small ways that middle school and high school demand. I can feel tears in the corners of my eyes thinking of when he will go away to school. Best wishes to you and your daughter. I wish you much happiness and pride in her accomplishments and I wish her much success in school an her future endeavors. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003876 Mon, 12 Aug 2013 01:28:49 +0000 DonnaF 1003876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Ceit, so sorry you have to deal with helicopter parents!&nbsp; How aggravating.</p> <p>These days, what with Skype and cell phones, including texting, it is so much easier to keep in touch with our kiddos leaving the nest.&nbsp; I guess it can be a blessing and a curse. . .</p> <p>DD informed us that this is the last summer she will come home, and that she plans to get credentialed and work in the Chicago area.&nbsp; (We live in the SF Bay Area.)&nbsp; I am sad, but I encouraged her to go out to school out there to spread her wings.&nbsp; We are close and get along, but as an older parent I feel it is imperative that she be independent.&nbsp; Sigh.&nbsp; But she still calls me *Mommy* when she needs a hug or is freaking out because a skunk crossed her path as she was walking home from the library late at night.&nbsp; (Like I can do something halfway across the country?)</p> <p>What an adventure for your daughter, Ingunn.&nbsp; And a big adjustment for her younger sisters because for them, she has always been there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003817 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 23:35:36 +0000 Anonymous 1003817@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As someone who has taught thousands of first year students over the past 10 years, and interacted with many parents in that time, it is the best and strongest parents in my opinion that let their children go, let them figure things out, and of course let them know there is always a refuge for them at home.</p> <p>Too often, I see parents that will not give their kids up, they call 5-6 times a day, or call me to check up on their kids, or worse yet, argue about marks their child received!</p> <p>I hope your daughter has a fantastic first year. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003815 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 23:32:37 +0000 Deborah 1003815@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ingunn, I read this post last night and and I truly felt your joy and pride in your daughter, but also you sadness at her leaving home.&nbsp; My son is only 10 and we joke that if/when he moves away to go to university, we will go with him lol.<br />I can only imagine how you are feeling.&nbsp; But do take comfort in the fact that you have obviously raised a lovely young woman in a way that has her ready and prepared for this next step in life.&nbsp; Thinking of you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003728 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 19:03:51 +0000 Ingunn 1003728@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, Angie! Your words are so true. I have more ducklings for a few more years, and the cat and hubby never leaves if I can help it I'm definitely hanging in there, already looking eagerly&nbsp;forward to the first week of October!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003725 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:55:22 +0000 Angie 1003725@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can only imagine how tough it is to experience the first fledgling leave the nest, Ingunn. (((HUGS))). At least there are more little ducks, a cat and hubby still at home. Hang in there. The absence will also make the time you DO have together more special. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003708 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:22:51 +0000 Ingunn 1003708@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, you are so right. Thank you for sharing your story.&nbsp;I have tried to hide my heavy heart from her, trying to avoid building a sense of guilt. After all, she's doing the right thing! I will continue to do so for the weeks and months to come.&nbsp;</p> <p>Lyn, you are right. They start directly in med school, but the first two years are mostly core subjects like biology, chemistry and so on. After the six years, they enter an internship for 18 months, and then they are qualified as doctors. "Care packages" are great fun both to give and receive, and an excellent idea. Thanks! I'm not really worried about her. Her head is in the right place, and she's quite the social one :)</p> <p>Yes Mani, a wathershed it is indeed&nbsp;:)&nbsp;</p> <p>Kyle, there is a lot of truth in that. Becoming a mother is the experience that changed my life the most, and there is no way back - not that I ever wanted to!</p> <p>Isis, you have no idea how glad I am to hear that!</p> <p>Deb, you know how this is. Thank you for understanding. It will get easier in a while.&nbsp;</p> <p>Clara, that makes two of us. It's comforting to me&nbsp;to know that they are only doing what's best for them. I hope it helps you to think of that, too.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003701 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:09:38 +0000 ClaraT 1003701@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My oldest son leaves next Wednesday for his first year at college. He will be two plane rides and a 1-h car ride away from me...I, too, have a heavy heart mixed with great excitement for him. It's a natural next step, but his empty room will sadden me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003696 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 18:00:03 +0000 deb 1003696@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember that feeling when my first born moved out. I cried for days. It is a tough one and hope time eases the heavy heart. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003693 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 17:57:22 +0000 Isis 1003693@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ahhhh.....my son had his first year of college this past year.&nbsp; We also missed him.&nbsp; Visiting for a weekend in October really helped; it was great to see him settled in his new home! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003636 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:28:08 +0000 Kyle 1003636@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Their childhood passes in the blink of an eye, doesn't it? We spend years preparing them to become independent, contributing members of society, but this very physical and mental letting go is not easy.&nbsp; I read a quote one time about how being a mother is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. I think that feeling evolves over time, but I'm not sure how much it ever fundamentally changes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003630 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:08:09 +0000 ManidipaM 1003630@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aww. Big hugs, Ingunn. It's one of those watershed moments of letting go in the parenting journey, isn't it --- first day of school, first sleepover, first holiday away from home/family? But in many ways this one is more irreversible I guess. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003626 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 15:05:55 +0000 lyn* 1003626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Whoa! Six years of medical school!!! I could barely pull myself through four! I think in the Euro system you go to med school right away, right? Instead of doing an undergrad first?</p> <p>I remember the first time I lived away from home - I think that the holidays are a time to look forward to, for the both of you. My friends always got "care packages" (home baking, favorite snacks, a new hoodie, some jammies, money) from home, and I think it helped them a lot too.&nbsp;</p> <p>I wouldn't worry too much about her - med school has a way of bonding people through the challenges it presents, so I'm sure she'll have a ton of great friends soon!&nbsp;</p> <p>My parents got used to me not being at home really fast! In the first week after I moved out they were all like, we will keep your room exactly the same as it is, etc. In 2 weeks, they realized they had a wonderful extra room, booted out my stuff and it became my mom's study! HAHAA.</p> <p>Congrats to her! If she has any questions about med or wants to talk to someone who isn't her close friends, she can shoot me a message </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003607 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:40:35 +0000 Gaylene 1003607@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Ingunn, this post stirred up my memories of leaving our son at his university. His university was 1000 km away, so we drove him out there, helped him settle in over the weekend, and then left him standing in front of his dorm when it was time for us to drive home. Neither my husband nor I could speak, or even look at each other, for the first few hours of the drive home. I kept thinking I'd left something very important behind, and we ought to turn the car around immediately to go back and make things right.</p> <p>The first few months were hard, especially when I walked by his emptied room. It was also very hard, but very important, to not give in to my feelings when we talked on the phone because my son was also going through his own emotions about being totally on his own for the first time. It seemed important to keep telling him I felt confident he was capable of handling whatever challenges he was facing. </p> <p>The turning point came around Christmas time after his first visit home. He was getting ready to fly back with all of us feeling a bit sad at his impending departure. I'll always remember his turning to me and saying "You know, it feels right to be going back now; thanks for helping me get here." His words made me realize probably one of the most important jobs we have as parents is to recognize when our children are ready to live their own lives and to help them feel strong and confident that they can handle whatever life throws at them on their own, even if we are quivering inside. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003602 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:26:15 +0000 Ingunn 1003602@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, fortunately it's not at all that bad. She will probably be home for a weekend in early November, and then for Christmas. We will be visiting her for a few days in early October. Her holiday break in Dec/Jan will be quite substantial, so then we'll have time to be together with no rush. I might take a spontaneous weekend trip to see her alone in addition to the already planned ones, time will show how everything works out.&nbsp;Thank you for understanding!</p> <p>Diane, this is so true! Thank you for understanding.&nbsp;She will know I'm there, and I can of course&nbsp;go and visit her. She is only a few hours away. Her new town is quite nice to go shopping in, too :)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003600 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 14:13:51 +0000 Anonymous 1003600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Ingunn, so bittersweet indeed. She knows you will always be there for her as she blossoms into her new life. In the mean time she is spreading her wings. Now you just need lots of excuses to go and&nbsp;visit her&nbsp;for clothes shopping trips! (( hugs)) to you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003587 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 13:23:18 +0000 Suz 1003587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This brought tears to my eyes, Ingunn. I can just imagine what you are feeling! What a tough yet proud moment for you. And how empty her room will feel for a while!&nbsp;</p> <p>How much will she be able to come home? Will you be able to visit her?&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-heart-is-heavy-today#post-1003582 Sun, 11 Aug 2013 13:18:34 +0000 Ingunn 1003582@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, my friends. I knew you would understand. </p>