YouLookFab Forum » Topic: My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 27 Apr 2026 19:25:46 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Helena on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black/page/2#post-1651234 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 11:21:54 +0000 Helena 1651234@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Irina and Bonnie, this is a wonderful approach. There is an older woman I see often who wears almost exclusively black. She looks so chic and amazing it's all I can do to not whip out my phone and snap pics! I should add she is not a "winter" either, but probably an autumn of sorts, maybr soft autumn. So I don't believe it's age or even color palette - it's a whole context. Sounds like your contexts are perfect for black, which is fab!! Irina on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black/page/2#post-1651170 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 03:41:55 +0000 Irina 1651170@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bonnie, this is exactly what I'm doing! I added more black winter items: coats, sweaters, pants and realized that my wardrobe is more cohesive and easy to mix. I'm still looking for a blazer and a cashmere turtleneck. But I'm taking my time to get just the right pieces. After 2 decades wearing different color winter coats, I love my parka, man-inspired coat and light wool unlined coat - all in black. Bonnie on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black/page/2#post-1651152 Wed, 27 Apr 2016 03:07:46 +0000 Bonnie 1651152@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I basically redid my wardrobe this past year. Even though I'm much older, I've bought mostly black items because I think it suits me. I've bought a coat, raincoat, jacket, blazer, shoes (4), pants (2), bags (3), turtlenecks (2), and tees (5), in black. It think it works well with the other colors I mainly wear; gray, white, blues, and red. It was really hard for me to stick to a color palette, but by doing so, I have a much more mixable wardrobe. I do plan to add more color as time goes on, but like the versatility of a limited color scheme. Anonymous on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black/page/2#post-1650927 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 20:44:07 +0000 Anonymous 1650927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think that if black's not your color, learning to use it judiciously is the best way to go. For me, it has to be away from my face. I think my coloring has softened over the years to the point where it just doesn't work that well for me anymore. It's not awful, but it's not that good. cobalt on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650863 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 19:26:49 +0000 cobalt 1650863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love black clothing, but I love my white dogs more -- so it's grey all the way for me.  Hides the fur and the pawprints at the same time!   Angie on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650812 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 18:04:00 +0000 Angie 1650812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am weary of adding too much black to my wardrobe because it doesn't make me happy (never has).  Not even in the '90s.  That said, in very specific wardrobe items, black is best. I LOVE a black turtleneck - it's one of my favourite items in the world. My dressy sailor pants are black with gold buttons. So are my silk harem pants and many lace pieces. And I love wearing black with white.  I LOVE ink blue. I do not own black shoes apart from tall riding boots. My ink blue booties are my "black" booties. Helena on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650794 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 17:46:37 +0000 Helena 1650794@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ BC, can I make a suggestion? Since you are still sort of exploring different aspects of color, it may be worth holding onto some pieces even if they are the "wrong" color ... Even just tuck them out of sight ID you rather. You may find a few "rule breakers" handy to have on hand as you experiment and learn. Just a thought Anonymous on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650783 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 17:25:25 +0000 Anonymous 1650783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I wore more black when navy was harder to come by. Now I can do without black, for all intents and purposes. That said, I have this feeling that if I get rid of my few remaining black clothes, I will regret it, though I wear them so sparingly now that it doesn't make much sense to hang onto them. texstyle on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650626 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 13:40:49 +0000 texstyle 1650626@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I go back and forth - but really I've never had a huge percentage of black in my wardrobe, it was mostly for "dressier" items. That said, I'm wearing a simple black Everlane tee today with a calf hair belt and black sandals and light denim shorts. I like black with light denim (Angie reminded me of this at one point) and that is how I mostly wear it now. I still have a LBD and feel good wearing it. I think I like to have a good amount of skin showing when wearing black to counter the darkness. Helena on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650596 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 13:18:49 +0000 Helena 1650596@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi all, thanks again to everyone for commenting! The collective wisdom and interest of the group never ceases to enlighten me :) Reflecting on all the responses, I think, as Summer says, it's about a sensible compromise. I am such a rule-oriented person, and have swung back and forth between the extremes of all black or no black ... this step is more about softening those boundaries a little, being less rigid and more flexible. It's about giving up that "quest for the holy grail" mentality a little - which, let's face it, is a frustration-maker! To be clear - my wardrobe would not function without black, and I am past the point of wanting it to! I am  not 'against' black, nor do I think anyone should/must give it up, due to age, style, color season, or any other variable beyond one's personal preference (and what's appropriate to the situation, if applicable). For me personally, and for now, a wall of black no longer works. The drama of "severe" black looks is smashing on many! I also think it would be a shame if  someone like Jennifer Aniston gave up her signature easy LBD style. To StyleFan's point, there are times when it just can't be beat. Deborah, I think I would selfishly be very sad if you ever gave up your black - you wear it so beautifully! (although I'm sure if you DID replace it, you would be equally beautiful).  Thanks all! Summer on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650568 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 12:13:57 +0000 Summer 1650568@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This seems to be a sensible compromise, TG.  Given your colouring, I can understand your reluctance to give up black altogether, and I'm glad you have found ways to continue to wear it successfully. I have had an on-off relationship with black for several years.  It was banished for some time, but a little has crept back in, in the form of trousers, shoes and bags.  I don't allow it anywhere near my face, though.  Helen11 on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650566 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 11:31:19 +0000 Helen11 1650566@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't think black is a great colour for me. This was confirmed by the lady who "did my colours". However, as StyleFan has mentioned, it's near impossible to find clothing in my preferred colours of browns and greens. So I am adding black into my wardrobe, a little reluctantly. I do think it's better for me with more skin showing, or statement accessories. I think if I wanted to avoid black altogether I would have to sew my own clothes. I wish I was that clever! Style Fan on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650554 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 10:18:37 +0000 Style Fan 1650554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love black.  It is sophisticated, rebellious, rock and roll, easy to find, etc.  Walk into a store and there is always lots of black.  I have gone through phases in my life wearing only black.  Black jeans, black tops, black shoes, and then I felt terrible.  I am just not great in black. Black looks amazing on others.  Deborah looks amazing in black.  I do not. I think people look better in certain colours than others.  You can wear what you want.  I also like the Mortia Adams look.  What is wrong with that?  Black pulls out dark circles that I did not know existed.  My lips look purple.  The only thing that looks good is my hair. I have always loved chocolate brown and olive green.  My strategy now is to buy high end pieces in these colours when they are in style.  Because when they are not in style shopping can be very lean.  And my clothes have to last a long time.  Try finding a LBD to wear to weddings and fancy occasions in dark brown or olive green.    Addresschic on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650538 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 09:14:14 +0000 Addresschic 1650538@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.addresschic.com">Vegan fashion freaks</a> bring a new trendy clothing style with black color . Vegan is a person or products which do not use any type of animal products. Black color gives a fabulous look and the combo of black and white is always in trend . Bijou on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650524 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 06:36:28 +0000 Bijou 1650524@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Fellow black lover here. As I age I like the sophistication that black gives. I love mixing different textures of black - matt black skirt, with a black sheer top and a black leather jacket. I have blonde hair and feel that the black puts the focus on my face rather than the clothes that I am wearing. However, I do like colour too and white feels so fresh - so all black is an occasional look for me now rather than the uniform it once was. Sal on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650494 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 03:28:02 +0000 Sal 1650494@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I identify with some of this TG, although I don't think black has ever been one of my best colours.  But I have almost always worn it since I was about 20, in one way or another. I now often wear it as part of an all black look, which I adore, with maybe one accent somewhere.  I wear more in summer with skin - singlet or tank style tops or open necks. I am less keen on it with denim now - but I do still wear it. I intend to keep wearing black and enjoying it BrieN on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650487 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 03:16:36 +0000 BrieN 1650487@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm with smittie. There are certain classic items that are great in black-but it's item specific for me, too. I also like a lot of the fluid items in black.   Part of my aversion is that out here in the midwest people wear a lot of  black straight poly skirts with black flats and a blouse. It's the "I give up" version of the work wardrobe.  Lol I really need a pair or two of black shoes but I just can't bring myself to buy them when there are so many pretty pairs out there. anne on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650472 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 02:55:07 +0000 anne 1650472@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a lot in common with you. I do love black, but feel now in my 40's that it isn't the best look near my face. I'm not that keen on most greys either (on myselft) - but so much winter clotihing is in either of those 2 colours. I'm much keener now on adding touches of white or lightness around the face, or wearing black in summer with lots of skin showing. Deborah on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650452 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 02:36:25 +0000 Deborah 1650452@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't buy into the not wearing black thing (as you know) but it's a personal thing and if you don't think it flatters you then what you are doing sounds perfect.   I quite like the Morticia Adams look... but it's not for everyone ;) I am wearing more navy and blues but I just adore black *sigh*. Anonymous on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650439 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 02:14:05 +0000 Anonymous 1650439@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ When younger (and dark haired) I never wore black or looked good in it. Now, with silver hair, I wear it often and my wardrobe would not work without it. Navy is better, but navies can clash. I look best in sheer black pieces and dull black. I avoid rich and shiny black like velvet. At the same time I have been trying to add to my favorite light neutrals (dove/silvery grey and bone white), especially for cold weather. Helena on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650417 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 01:47:34 +0000 Helena 1650417@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have been reading replies all day - thx for your thoughts! Shevia you are gorgeous in blue. Robin, that's a good approach. Ledonna I love that you have always embraced your own style. Az, yea, agree with all your points. Peri, absolutely, why wouldn't our look continue to evolve? Never say never. Rabbit, fantastic ideas. BC, enjoying your color journey. Smittie yes, I am getting more time specific too - I love my black Timex. Lisa, interesting about the shoes ... I know several people who would never wear black shoes, although I couldn't do without them. Aida, going to check out your posts after this! Irina, silver hair against black is so chic. I too love black for its simplicity. Aqua, yes - a great styling tip for black, thx Aquamarine on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650400 Tue, 26 Apr 2016 01:28:45 +0000 Aquamarine 1650400@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I love black but it doesn't always love me back these days. I have discovered, though, that black with some skin showing is easier to wear. For example, simple black tee shirts in the summer work for me. In cooler weather, a scoop neck black top also works, with my sleeves scrunched. Black shoes will always dominate my closet. I have very dark hair and it's a no-brainer for bookending. Irina on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650319 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 23:45:49 +0000 Irina 1650319@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I took an opposite direction. Black was a part of "my colors " always but mostly in pants, shoes and purses. I tinted my hair mid brown and didn't like black close to my face. I didn't have a single winter/fall coat in black for years! But I grew out my hair in its natural mousy brown glory and let gray shine through. Now I wear any color as long as it's black seriously, I love lighter, silvery hair with black. I'm trying to rebuild my wardrobe with black as a backbone. I have some colors to add to a mix - ink, blush, grey, cream. I hunt black items that would serve as essentials. And whites for summer. I think I managed to narrow down my color palette- black and grey for winter and black and white for summer as primary combinations. I crave a simplicity it might provide. Aida on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650305 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 23:30:08 +0000 Aida 1650305@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ YES I have done this experiment as well! Four years ago, I did post a little about it (<a href="http://aida.lookfab.com/post/lighten-up-thoughts-on-mostly-giving-up-black-for-the-season" rel="nofollow">1</a> | <a href="http://aida.lookfab.com/post/getting-that-cool-rocker-vibe-without-black" rel="nofollow">2</a>) though mostly it was mentioned in my WIW posts from around that time. I took a full fashion season spring/summer with the goal to lighten up, and as it went on moved to wearing essentially no black at all. Found it very liberating and very informative, though recall panicing a bit when fall came around and I saw my fall/winter wardrobe was full of black ;) I've stuck with the idea of dressing with less black since then, and am just getting back to wearing more black starting this past fall. Still don't wear it loads but definitely more than I had been. Part of this is because I am in wardrobe rebuild at the "replacing essentials" phase and some of those pieces are black; meaning a larger portion than usual of my best fitting items are currently black! It's been OK for now but I am definitely looking forward to being able to wear more colorful pieces whenever I am able to get to them. Also initially I started switching my black items to gray items, but found that gray just doesn't quite work the same for me. So instead I've been switching them to WHITE and that makes me feel a whole lot better! lisaflex on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650298 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 23:18:23 +0000 lisaflex 1650298@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ i too am steering away from all black outfits or a lot of black in general. i have a HUGE aversion to black shoes of any type (except boots or booties) and black purses.  navy, gray, taupe, cognac...all better choices for me now adays Anonymous on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650221 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 20:42:05 +0000 Anonymous 1650221@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I never used to wear black until a couple of years ago. Basically I think it looks very sharp as a turtle neck or in a leather jacket. I also like watches with a black band. Again, just a bit sharper than the alternatives, IMO. So my love of black is very item-specific Anonymous on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650175 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 18:42:12 +0000 Anonymous 1650175@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I was never one to wear a lot of black, but I have been veering away from it for the past few years. Now my neutrals are mostly navy, charcoal and soft white. I just feel better without the black. I do have some of it in my wardrobe, but am not drawn to it and have been having a serious debate with myself about whether or not to get rid of all the black. Not sure just yet. rabbit on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650150 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 18:14:47 +0000 rabbit 1650150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Lol I'm another snow white, who is navigating the changes of my face with time.  I've thought about going lighter with my hair, but the hairdresser has said that apart from adding highlights (which I sometimes do in summer), it's too deeply color saturated to really go lighter without growing it out fresh.  It sounds like you have found some good workarounds and solutions.   I too stopped wearing much black for awhile and leaned heavily toward navy and white instead (charcoal tends to be kinda blah on me, so while I still wear it, I don't add pieces in that color).   If anything white has become my most worn neutral and accent, and navy adds a glow to my face.   But black has always been a good color on me, and I had black skirts and shoes I wasn't wearing as much but still liked.  So I figured out two ways I really like wearing black this spring/summer. First, is black in light, gauzy formulations, and feminine details.  I bought a sleeveless chiffon top with a gathered neck and bow tie, I have an older skirt with a swishy ruffle on the bottom, and a skirt with black lacy cutouts over a pewter underlayer.  Also black showing a lot of skin -- sleeveless tops, or wide necklines, bare legs, etc. helps.  I bought this black clutch with blossoming branches which gives me a very springy black feeling when worn with these feminine/soft clothes. Second is black with texture or pattern in lighter tones.  Florals with black backgrounds,  a black jacket with pale blue and pearl gray embroidery -- more of a boho or pattern mixing/matching take on black.  Basically somewhat similar to these earlier outfits: <a rel="nofollow" href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiwinwinter-black-and-silver-boho">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ilver-boho</a>  but incorporating some  silver and pale blue elements, and a few less patterns. Peri on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650129 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 17:50:29 +0000 Peri 1650129@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've gone through this, but the oddest thing to me is that now I'm back to liking it near my face again. I'm another total Snow White and I followed this same path...loved it young, and it was very striking, then in my 40s started to feel it was harsh and aging. Now I'm 56 and could be totally kidding myself, but I'm starting to think it looks good again. I've even seen pictures that look okay. Often with a scarf, or some bright or pearl jewelry, but somehow I like it better near my face than I did in my 40s. Almost like, so yes I look 56, so what, let's be striking again.  Snow White to Morticia back to Snow White who has grown and aged like a normal woman? Hmmmm.  Aziraphale on "My evolving, more peaceful relationship with black" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-evolving-more-peaceful-relationship-with-black#post-1650097 Mon, 25 Apr 2016 17:05:38 +0000 Aziraphale 1650097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ "what was Snow White-ish at 25 was starting to look a little Morticia-ish at 40" -- LOL. That's funny. :-)  Torontogirl, I'm starting to feel the same way. I'm not big supporter of seasonal colour analysis, and I don't really know what "season" I am, but I'd bet money that it's not winter (the only season that's supposed to look great in black). However, I like black. A lot. So I still wear it. I am conscious of the possibility of looking too "hard", though. What looks hard rock on a 20 year old can look a bit "hard rock has-been" on a 40 year old. :-) To be honest, I think most young people look pretty good in black. I've never bought into this "you shouldn't wear black" nonsense. As we get older it gets trickier, because it tends to reflect the dark shadows on your face -- but honestly, as far as I can see, so does navy blue and charcoal. They're slightly softer than black, but not much.