https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 03 May 2026 03:21:58 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445457 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 03:40:14 +0000 Jaime 1445457@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am a little late to add anything, butthe insights on this thread are fantastic. Agree that a sharp shouldered blazer is the first priority! Also agree with lisap that there is always some interaction between our internal state and winds of fashion and I will add that is what makes it fun and interesting.&nbsp;As always I love your style and look forward to being inspired by the next phase.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445453 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 03:24:53 +0000 Deborah 1445453@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am laughing because I told my best friend this morning that I am moving to Canada as I cannot stand another day of this never ending hot summer!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445451 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 03:05:55 +0000 Suz 1445451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, my dear, you certainly wouldn't be the only one who was ready to say goodnight to winter! We are having another blizzard here as I type....I think we all need a YLF vacation at Ms. Mary's house in California!!&nbsp;</p> <p>I was actually going to say that I think your style is all the more amazing when I consider the circumstances that you have to get around on &nbsp;a day to day basis. So give yourself and your closet a hug, girlfriend!!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445415 Sun, 22 Feb 2015 02:04:08 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1445415@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>WOW. Much to think about here. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to provide your insights.&nbsp;</p> <p>First of all, do not fear - I have no intention of purging or not wearing any of my EF pieces. I still very much enjoy these pieces - although some more than others.</p> <p>Kiki - like you, I am finding that I need to keep the degree/amount of volume within reason in an outfit. Too much and I feel frumpy.</p> <p>Denise - I've been working a bit today on putting together some ideas for spring shopping and #1 on that list is a blazer with strong shoulders. This would serve two purposes - I have sloping shoulders naturally and so a stronger shoulder line in a jacket would give me more upper body balance, plus of course the structure of the jacket would provide a juxtaposition or balance to anything too drapey. Love your suggestions - thank you!</p> <p>Keturah - I love your comment&nbsp;<b>pair what you love with what you love</b>. Positively brilliant! As for what I define as comfort, I would say it is softer fabrics, non restrictive fit and ease of care, if that makes sense.</p> <p>Diane - looks like we're all on the "strong shoulder jacket" page - lol! This will be my primary search for spring I think. And I agree - only one EF piece at a time tempered with structure.</p> <p>Nebraskim - you really made me think with your reply and I believe you may be right - the last year or two have been a bit tough and I think I need comfort in my clothing because perhaps I didn't have comfort in my life. Now that I'm in a good place (for many reasons) I'm ready to get back to a sharper look, as you put it. Great thoughts :)</p> <p>Caro - I have discovered I really prefer drape or volume on my upper half. But I think more in a blouse or tank with a structured jacket over top. And I actually quite like my legs (is that wrong to say?) so prefer a more taper pencil skirt or slim leg pants on my lower half. Sounds like we're kind of on the same page with that style, huh?</p> <p>AM - bring on the "rocker" analogy - I can take it - lol!</p> <p>Una &amp; Deborah - interesting…so it's more in how I put my outfits together and what I pair rather than the overall style? Need to give that some thought…maybe I've just gotten stuck in HOW I put things together….</p> <p>Suz - I'm actually wondering today if my queries to my style coincide with something else - for example, am I feeling like I need "something" because I'm sick to death of winter and can hardly wait for warmth and less layers perhaps?&nbsp;</p> <p>Thank you all so much for our thoughtful replies.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445130 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 04:34:47 +0000 Suz 1445130@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay...I've been thinking about this some more,&nbsp;and I am going to come at this from another angle.&nbsp;</p> <p>Because over the past few months, unless I'm mistaken, you've&nbsp;posted a couple of these posts about not being sure how to reconcile your love of drapey, softer EF type pieces and other aspects of your style. And we always answer with&nbsp;versions of what we say in this post: There's no "problem" here; these things marry well; your style is not schizophrenic or inconsistent; you still look like yourself...etc.&nbsp;</p> <p>But if you are still asking the question, then perhaps you're feeling something&nbsp;that our answers are not getting at.&nbsp;</p> <p>I am wondering what that "something" is and how you can address it and how we might help you?&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445125 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 04:20:43 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1445125@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I understand your love of Eileen Fisher. But honestly, I don't think you have gone all-out Eileen with your style. You are too colorful for one thing, and you always have your spin on the styles, which usually includes some structure. Your bags and shoes add your own take, too. Don't underestimate the power of those fantastic structured satchels of yours, along with the retro, arty, and tough footwear you have, in addition to your more elegant choices. It makes sense that you want to head even more in the direction of structure, but like others here, I imagine you will continue to work in your own unique touches to the Eileen look, or vice versa--work the Eileen pieces into your own unique look, is more like it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445085 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 02:17:01 +0000 Deborah 1445085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Una. I think you have all the pieces to achieve what you are aiming for. I find I relate to what you are saying as I expect to reintroduce a little more structure I to my draped outfits from Autumn. I don't need anything, I have it all in my wardrobe, so it will just be about new combinations. I anticipate using my jackets (which I am slowly updating) to add what I feel is a bit more sophistication to my overall look. What you are saying makes perfect sense and do not get rid of any of your EF...they can work perfectly with subtle style shift. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445060 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:40:17 +0000 catgirl 1445060@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon!&nbsp; Ironically, after my long path of flailing, I've become extremely stable (perhaps stuck, but I prefer the word signature )&nbsp; in my style preferences, and those have always incorporated the extremes of drape and oversized (voluminous sweaters and dresses) with fitted - though perhaps not "structured" - items like skinnies and leggings.&nbsp; I think you could pull this off perfectly, and it sounds more like a shift in how you use your clothing rather than what clothing you want to wear. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445055 Sat, 21 Feb 2015 00:10:35 +0000 AM 1445055@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think rocker girl can definitely rock a fluid dress by adding some&nbsp;structure. Maybe you just need to get in that rocker state of mind when you're creating these combinations. I'm sure you'll have a new album of great hits before you know. Did I take that rocker girl thang too far? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445037 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 23:18:10 +0000 Suz 1445037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I see no inconsistency or problem at all. Your drapey pieces will work &nbsp;well with your more structured pieces, and you have <b>always</b> been a jacket gal!&nbsp;</p> <p>I am also feeling "over" fluid and oversized now, although like Lisa, I am still wearing it, just to keep warm. But I look at my Pinterest feed and all those oversized coats/ sweaters and while they looked fun and fresh to me last spring, now they look boring to me. Go figure. It's the fashion pendulum. I want to wear a tailored jacket again, too. :)&nbsp;</p> <p>I do think it's tough to marry the same kind of comfort to tailored looks as you will get from a fluid knit...but it's all relative. You got some good prompting about defining the most important aspects of comfort to you. I've learned for myself that this is a seasonal and situational&nbsp;thing. In winter, I reach for cozy above all; at home I reach for easy to stretch garments that I can curl up in. Out of the home I am actually <b>MORE</b> comfortable in structure. And in summer, I like crisp wovens.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445033 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 22:54:22 +0000 Anonymous 1445033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always feel like even my fluid stuff can't be too fluid and that I need to add structure, though not necessarily with stiff fabrics. Soft tailored items such as knit jackets are fine. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1445027 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 22:45:18 +0000 Caro in Oz 1445027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That was one of my favourite outfits on you too TS - really "you" imo. </p> <p>I agree with texstyle about trying the different pieces together - sometimes they work really well on the body.</p> <p>Do you know where you like to have drape on your body?&nbsp;I have a couple of really drapey dresses which are great for our hot summers but I never feel as good in them as I do in a slim pant, drape top &amp; jacket. For me the jacket gives the non-tailored top structure. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444988 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 20:40:18 +0000 Anonymous 1444988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The others have articulated great suggestions and advice , as well as support. I agree with you, your thoughts, and with all of the suggestions mentioned above. &nbsp;I also think these shifts are maybe not as internal as we think, but are subtle responses to what we see happening around us, and the arc of the fluid/oversize knit we've all been wearing for a few seasons now, maybe having already peaked. &nbsp;Wanting tailoring , structure, and definition makes a lot of sense at this time of year . We've been stuffed into coats, layers kind of crammed together, and all want to break out from all of the sweaters and drapey pieces we've been wearing all winter. Ok, that's just me &nbsp;</p> <p>I like the tailored, edgy look on you too. &nbsp;There is still lots of room for Ms. EF, just in small doses.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444982 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 20:33:43 +0000 lyn67 1444982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I guess I somehow know where are you comming from, and where do you want to head, this is also&nbsp;what I aim for, for a long time. My formula for structured comfort is some variations of a quality tube skirt(you know, those you feel yourself like&nbsp;PJ's&nbsp;in)&nbsp;with&nbsp; moto like jacket(but in a crushed effect, and &nbsp;light fabric-not that suited one), or a wool/denim pencil with a funky ponte blazer(for ex. striped) or an&nbsp;EF like&nbsp;drapey cardi--&nbsp;so always&nbsp;alterating my best feeling textures, but never the same on top and lower half. Otherwise agree with Angie's descriptors, there were as always, just the&nbsp;spot on!:-) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444972 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 20:15:42 +0000 texstyle 1444972@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you are already moving in the right direction with your thoughts Shannon - you don't want to wear head to toe EF looks, but you want the comfort and ease of wearing those types of things, along with your other favorite styles. It would be fun to try mixing some of your existing structured jackets with the EF items just to see what works with what. Sometimes I find that trying something that I keep thinking won't work really surprises me by working really well. I don't have that great of an eye for figuring it out until I see it on myself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444971 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 20:15:42 +0000 Nebraskim 1444971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you can have both. I endorse the idea of mixing the EF pieces in so there's structure and flow. A loose jacket or dress over fitted leggings or pants; a crisp shirt. Even hard edged accessories like bags add structure. I am not a flowy, loose fit person. I'm not body con, but I enjoy classic, crisp tailored looks. The occ addition of a cacade-front sweater, or waist surrendering dress breaks up the hard lines with a soft and comfortable swing. another thing: you've been through some emotional rough patches the last year that perhaps pushed you mentally toward easy-fitting pieces. You're more regrouped now, and looking for balance in your look, a sharper edge that says I'm back in the game. Not that you were out of it, but perhaps were taking a mental time out to recharge. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444960 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 19:58:39 +0000 Anonymous 1444960@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love the style direction that you're thinking of Shannon. It sounds perfect :)&nbsp;I think experiments in jacket styles (with strong shoulder lines as Denise said) are in order. How about trying belts on some of the EF dresses to add more structure too? I would also suggest that each outfit you put together maybe only has one EF item at a time in it and keep everything else structured. Good luck with your experiments, it's going to be fun! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444951 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 19:45:21 +0000 Keturah 1444951@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I completely get you and hear you and feel you on this one! I'm going through a bit of a style shift. A few years ago I tried very hard to define my style. It left me frustrated because I tried doing it from the outside-in. (which I think can be completely the wrong way to go if you're more heart, less head kinda girl. Which you maybe are? Yes? No?)<div><br /></div><div>And then last spring/summer&nbsp;I started to wear what struck my eye and made me happy: Bohemian, baby! It&nbsp;was a completely extreme shift&nbsp;from the more tailored, structured bombshell look I tried. And then beginning last autumn, I found myself just zigzagging all over the place. I started analyzing everything, trying again to define my style in one type, words, etc. I found it frustrating because again, I was working from the outside-in. (Part of the process for me, I think.) I would try one extreme look to another: French Chic, to boho gypsy, to....I don't even know what.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>All that said... I feel I'm finally asking myself, what makes me happy? Then evaluating it afterwards. Which is what you're doing! And It honk that's really what works.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Couple ideas:</div><div><br /></div><div>Can you give your EF stuff a rest? Not that you can't wear it or blend it with more tailored items. But sometimes I find giving myself a break to just absorb and "be," ideas pop into my head -- usually something I would have never thought of without a bit of a break.</div><div><br /></div><div>Pairing what you love with what you love. Pair something structured with something voluminous or drapey sounds like it will be a winning combination for you!. It's what you did (and what we all adored!) with your Casual Friday look you linked to! It's a perfect mix.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Also, what do you define as comfort? Is it more a tactile thing, where you need soft fabrics? Is it having enough garment ease? Is it simply a feeling of comfort?&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>You can find a lot of structured items in softer fabrics. And structure doesn't always have to be tailored lines. For instance, I added structure to an outfit simply by doing a <a rel="nofollow" href="http://http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-winter-ensemble-chiffon-sweatpants-and-brogues">French roll to the hem of men's sweatpants</a>. I think structure can be as simple as pushing up your sleeves, rolling a cuff, or adding a belt.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>Just my two cents (or ten cents?). MWAH! You're still such a lovely style inspiration to me here on the forum! I adore you.&nbsp;&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444949 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 19:40:33 +0000 CocoLion 1444949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm thinking tailored jackets with a strong shoulder. &nbsp;Also fitted pants like skinny jeans or straights/cigarette leg. &nbsp;Angular clutches. &nbsp;High waist lines fully tucked. &nbsp;As well as pointy toes. &nbsp;These are all things that add structure, and would work with your EF purchases.</p> <p>I love a soft drape combined with some structure, I do think it's one of my favorite ways to dress. &nbsp;So don't purge those EF pieces just yet! </p> <p>ETA -- also a crisp shirt with a strong collar (pointed collar) adds structure. &nbsp;And sleeve scrunching. &nbsp;Another idea is to spike up your hair like Angie, that might bring structure plus the bit of hard edge you are seeking.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444941 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 19:23:41 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 1444941@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have done the same thing multiple times&nbsp;-- I get totally into one brand and I love it and its&nbsp;look for a few seasons, and then I get to a point where I feel like it's overkill. I was on an EF obsession 3-4 years ago and then I realized I had way too many drapy waterfall type cardigans. I still love the EF fabrics and comfort but I got rid of some of the pieces and now try to mix the rest in in a less obvious way. </p> <p>I do like you in tailored jackets and I think your idea of wearing them over other pieces makes a lot of sense. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444932 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 18:57:51 +0000 KikiG 1444932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I shift my style, sometimes I have to "storm before I can norm."&nbsp; There may be purchases that are "too much" that are a response to "too little" and the true path is to get to "just right."&nbsp; For instance, I bought a top this spring that had sewn on (tasteful)&nbsp;jewels.&nbsp;&nbsp;I've always been bling-reluctant, so this is a shift, and it began with a nicely fitting but excellent value piece that was no&nbsp;big risk, but it paid off big and became a tremendous, unexpected workhorse.&nbsp;&nbsp; Now I have several tops with incorporated bling.&nbsp; One of them was probably an error in judgment--ask me when the weather warms up--but I'm enoying the rest.&nbsp; It did take the possible&nbsp;mistake top to find my limits.&nbsp; Maybe that is where you are with EF, if not with the individual pieces, but what you are doing with them.&nbsp;</p> <p>I'm not a tall person, and even when I weigh more than I'd prefer, I have to keep scale and volume in mind or it isn't flattering.&nbsp; I seem to be able to handle one high volume item, but the rest needs to be relatively fitted.&nbsp; So a drape-y cardigan would be over a top that followed the line of my bust, not tenting off the fullest part.&nbsp; Or I'll have a long, loose tank over slim bottoms.&nbsp;&nbsp;I think this may be where you are with your home run outfit of the tailored jacket over the draped EF.&nbsp; Which, BTW, did totally rock!</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-complicated-relationship#post-1444919 Fri, 20 Feb 2015 18:09:32 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1444919@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>...with Eileen Fisher that is!</p> <p>I've been doing a lot of mulling over and examination of my style needs, desires and the direction I want to head into. Although it may not show directly through my WIW posts, I have been<b> </b><i><b>feeling</b></i> a significant style shift these days. And although some of that has to do with the silhouettes and fashion changes trickling into the stores and showing up heading into Spring, it has a great deal to do with some type of internal shift.</p> <p>I have done a lot of experimentation in the last six months with fabrics, colors, silhouettes, shapes, drape and structure. I have completely enjoyed ALL of the new things I've tried. But I'm starting to pull away from too much drape and volume and seem to be gravitating towards a bit more of a tailored look. With my particular body shape, I'm finding a more tailored look to be more figure flattering.</p> <p>My favorite outfit I've worn lately was this one from Casual Friday <a href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/wiw-style-lab-for-casual-friday" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....ual-friday</a>. I asked what it was you all saw that made this feel so good on. You all have such great insight but these particular observations from Angie really made me sit up and take notice: <b>"Clean, crisp and simple lines. Structured. Good quality pieces. Statement accessories."&nbsp;<br /> </b>And then Karie's comments in my WIW thread this morning "<b>I'm getting a bit of a "rocker chic" vibe from this outfit and I love that"</b> also struck a chord.</p> <p>So if I were to put together my style goals heading into spring, it would be:</p> <ul> <li>Simple lines.</li> <li>Structured.</li> <li>Quality.</li> <li>Statement accessories.</li> <li>Chic with hints of hard edge.</li> </ul> But I don't want to go all out structured - I'm picturing my favorite EF drape front dresses (the black one and the blue one) with a structured jacket or leather jacket and bold handbag. That sort of thing.</p> <p>So this brings me to my dilemma - due to my experimentation over the past while, I have fallen in love with the quality fabrics and comfort of my EF pieces and I intend on purchasing a few new items for spring/summer...BUT...I need to find a way to marry those items with the direction I want to head stylistically. Is this possible?</p> <p>Would absolutely love your feedback and thoughts on what you've read here (if you made it all the way through - lol!) - is this the style direction you see me going and do you think it's a good one? How do I make my love of comfort work with more structure?</p>