YouLookFab Forum » Topic: My absence/letting go

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: My absence/letting go https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 14:51:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Laurie on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go/page/2#post-1412425 Wed, 17 Dec 2014 15:44:33 +0000 Laurie 1412425@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My sincere condolences, Kari.  Thank you for describing this event, and the peace of your grandfather's transition to us.  We live in a society that is so afraid to talk about death.  This morning my husband is flying home from FL where both of his parents are in very bad shape mentally and physically, but are kept "alive"  by medications and various artificial machinations.  He described his mother's obvious desire to let go, yet her pacemaker keeps ticking as she sinks deeper into an Alzheimer's oblivion.  There is no quality of life left and yet we "societally"/medically find it so hard to accept the natural passage.  Your grandfather was very lucky to have you by his side.  May you continue to find more joy in reflecting on his long life than grief in his absence.  xo Kari on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go/page/2#post-1411868 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 15:28:46 +0000 Kari 1411868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you. We are taking it one day at a time, and trying to be patient with each other and with our own grieving process. It's less gut wrenching moving out of his apartment than it was back when we cleared out his and my grandma's former house that they had lived in for 40 or 50 years. With Blinkin, I'm praying the tumor grows slowly. I don't think we will intervene surgically; I had a rat's tumor removed when I was a kid, and it came right back. Surgery is expensive and painful, and Blinkin and Boo have been healthy, but are old for rats at nearly 2 years. The females are so prone to benign but quick growing mammary cysts. I hope we can keep her comfortable and mobile for a while, and help her cranky sister Boo either accept a friend, or spend a lot of time with her as a single rat. ManidipaM on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go/page/2#post-1411788 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 13:24:26 +0000 ManidipaM 1411788@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry, Kari. Must be especially hard for everyone who knew him to go through this first holiday season without him... Hugs! And wishes for peace and comfort. May it bring those who miss him closer. Firecracker (Sharan) on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go/page/2#post-1411725 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 06:12:17 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1411725@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm sad for your loss. It's so wonderful that you were able to spend the time you did with your grandfather and give him such comfort in his last days. Hang in there with Blinkin. As if you haven't been through enough already. I hope things work out well for her and for you. Lucy is adorbable! CocoLion on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411700 Tue, 16 Dec 2014 04:25:01 +0000 CocoLion 1411700@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think you've handled this loss with true grace.  Lucy certainly does brighten things up and she looks ready for the doggie runway! rachylou on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411566 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 23:55:39 +0000 rachylou 1411566@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The peace of heaven and earth for your grandfather, and you, Kari, and prayers for Tiny. Kari on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411558 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 23:37:17 +0000 Kari 1411558@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you all for your kind thoughts. I do feel kind of calm about it. It was such a relief to have his death be so easy and painless after a lot of pain in recent weeks, and though we didn't plan for me to be there at the end, I'm glad I was able to. It's hard to say goodbye. There are a lot of feelings coming up; I get weepy sometimes and other times am ok. Also complicating my emotional reaction: I just discovered that my rat Blinkin, just shy of 2 years old, has a tiny tumor. I know from experience that even though they're usually benign, they can grow fast and come back. We will have to decide to whet extent to intervene for her and how long she will be comfortable for, and also decide how to give our other senior rat Boo enough companionship if she's left alone. I'm sad about it. Thank you for your thoughts during this hard time. It's greatly appreciated. Mochi on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411520 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 22:17:09 +0000 Mochi 1411520@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ There's something oddly soothing in what you've written here, Kari. I think it's a feeling of full-circledness, the way you got to nurse your grandfather and care for him during his passage. It sounds like it was the best possible outcome in a difficult but universal situation. Thank you for writing about it here and I hope you can feel some cheer and comfort during the holiday season.  abc on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411448 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 19:15:56 +0000 abc 1411448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm sorry for your loss, but your post was so beautiful...your approach to the situation is really impressive, I know I don't know you personally, but I can tell by this post you are a kind, caring and open minded person.  Again, I'm sorry for your loss.   texstyle on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411356 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 16:29:40 +0000 texstyle 1411356@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Kari, I missed this until today but I was so touched by your loving description of your last moments with your grandpa. He was a very lucky person it seems to have had such a wonderful family, friends, and life. My thoughts are with you. deb on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411204 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 03:23:02 +0000 deb 1411204@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry, Kari.   Debora on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411188 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 02:41:42 +0000 Debora 1411188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Kari, I am so sorry for your loss. shedev on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1411121 Mon, 15 Dec 2014 00:31:24 +0000 shedev 1411121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Very sorry for your loss. Anonymous on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410946 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 19:09:53 +0000 Anonymous 1410946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear Grandpa. Kristin L on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410928 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 18:25:05 +0000 Kristin L 1410928@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am very sorry for your loss. I'm glad you were able to spend that time with your grandfather.  Lucy looks adorable in argyle. Debbie on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410867 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 15:52:06 +0000 Debbie 1410867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am sorry for your lost. jackiec on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410857 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 15:29:18 +0000 jackiec 1410857@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry for your loss, Kari. What a wonderfully written post. I am happy you were able to share that time with your Grandpa, and I appreciate the Lucy photos for a smile. Sveta on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410825 Sun, 14 Dec 2014 13:55:55 +0000 Sveta 1410825@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Kari, I am so sorry for your loss. Your post was both sad and beautiful to read and it look like your grandfather was an amazing person. Mythought sgo to your and your family. Lucy is adorable! Parsley on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410689 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 23:39:34 +0000 Parsley 1410689@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry for your loss, Kari. I'm sure it was very comforting for your grandfather to have you there with him. Your little Lucy is adorable! Thistle on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410674 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 23:18:42 +0000 Thistle 1410674@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry for your loss, but at least he had family and loved ones near. Your fur baby is adorable!  :) Caro in Oz on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410653 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 22:55:00 +0000 Caro in Oz 1410653@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So glad you could be there for your grandpa. IMO it is such a privilege to see someone have a good death. Take good care of yourself Kari. Your fur baby is too cute for words :) Janet on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410603 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 21:49:10 +0000 Janet 1410603@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm sorry for your loss, Kari. I'm glad it was peaceful and you were able to be there.  Lucy is adorable. I love her argyle! Lyn D. on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410559 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 21:05:01 +0000 Lyn D. 1410559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am sorry for your loss Kari! Hugs to you and your adorable Lucy. Angie on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410525 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 19:26:11 +0000 Angie 1410525@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ We are never prepared for the death of a loved one. My condolences to you and your family, Kari. You are a wonderful granddaughter.  Lucy looks Killer to the power of Killer. xo Nebraskim on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410472 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 18:27:05 +0000 Nebraskim 1410472@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you for sharing this beautiful post about easing his journey. You will never reget this time. May his memory be a blessing for all who knew him. TraceyLiz65 on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410470 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 18:24:24 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1410470@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am so sorry for you loss. What a beautiful end to a life well lived.  I felt the same when my mother passed and was more grateful than sad at the beginning.  Of course mourning takes time so there will be ups and downs, take good care of yourself!.   gardenchick on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410468 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 18:22:12 +0000 gardenchick 1410468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So sorry for your loss...and glad you were able to be there at the end. Helena on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410464 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 18:04:56 +0000 Helena 1410464@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Kari, I am so sorry, but what a tremendous gift and blessing your family gave to your Grandpa; it sounds like he was surrounded by love every moment.  Suz on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410447 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 17:30:52 +0000 Suz 1410447@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Kari, so sorry for your loss. It sounds as if it was the best kind of death, possible, though, after a long and full life, with loved ones near. Lucy looks absolutely adorable in her finery!!  Alassë on "My absence/letting go" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/my-absenceletting-go#post-1410420 Sat, 13 Dec 2014 16:36:19 +0000 Alassë 1410420@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm so sorry, Kari.