https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 14 Apr 2026 23:56:17 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos/page/2#post-2070802 Mon, 21 Oct 2019 22:25:45 +0000 Vildy 2070802@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Agree completely about confidence. Knew a fellow years ago, then older than me, whose philosophy it was to go ahead and do what you want to and most people will step back and let you.&nbsp; Meaning that someone who has the confidence or passion in what they are doing makes it look "right".</div><div>The opposite of Effortless Dressing - you made the effort and likely knew what you were doing. :D<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos/page/2#post-2070751 Mon, 21 Oct 2019 18:58:36 +0000 Sal 2070751@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Barbara Diane- that can be annoying!!</p> <p>Vildy - I admire your approach as photos can skew your opinion. Sometimes feel is more important than visuals.</p> <p>There is clearly not one approach that works for all. And who we see as our audience - family, colleagues, YLF or ourselves. And for most of us it is fluid. </p> <p>Confidence is the key isn’t it - that’s why Kate Moss could rock her Glastonbury outfits or Iris Apfel looks fantastic. I need to remind myself that personal style does not need a model body nor a large closet at times. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070608 Mon, 21 Oct 2019 15:03:15 +0000 Barbara Diane 2070608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yesterday I had my first experience (other than for a very special family event) where I took into consideration how I’d look in a photograph when getting dressed. Because I had not expected to be photographed with them before and when they took a photo I thought it was for personal use. Unfortunately I had not taken a photo or looked in the mirror before leaving the house., Not happy to see that it had been posted on Facebook (I found out when I received notice that a relative had commented on it). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070427 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 17:22:57 +0000 Greyscale 2070427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I worry very little about flattery (but I do worry about aesthetically appealing proportions, which is a different problem). But when I wear more conventionally flattering looks, sometimes people comment that I’ve lost weight and look great, when I’m exactly the same size. So, some of my clothing choices really do made me look larger. There is an actual cost to my JFE looks in how people perceive me, but also, I don’t really care. </p> <p>I do find it odd that people comment about it to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070413 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 15:58:50 +0000 kellygirl 2070413@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@VIldy: You made me laugh. I love the concept of providing contrast!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070411 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 15:14:27 +0000 Vildy 2070411@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>I don't take photos of my outfits. The camera does lie - that's why there are so many guides to standing a certain way, leaving spaces, height of camera, etc, to "trick" the camera. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>But also, there is the realization that any time there is a guide to looking "better" it inevitably translates to Taller, Thinner, Younger.&nbsp; I remember a college friend, @5'8" and an English major, remarking how "tall" seems necessary to be beautiful.&nbsp; All the heroines were described as tall. Well, it may be so but I'm 5' tall and was I going to disqualify myself from ever looking beautiful because of it?&nbsp; Was I going to inhabit a fairy tale or a Jane Austen novel?&nbsp; And tall relative to what standard?&nbsp; My family physician, who was shorter, described me as "tall".&nbsp; Go figure.&nbsp; And I'm sure all of these descriptors are also relative. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway,&nbsp; I don't worry about how awful I might look in social photos. <br /></div><div>Aren't most people who own the photos going to be most interested in how they and their loved ones look?&nbsp; Hey, if I look awful in photos, might I not get lots more invitations to provide contrast? :D<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070340 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 03:03:50 +0000 Sal 2070340@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So many interesting thoughts here. I will add more later - but I am nodding along to them all. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070317 Sun, 20 Oct 2019 01:03:45 +0000 Jenn 2070317@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My favorite LBD from Elizabeth Suzann photographs pretty horribly. Honestly, it's not great in the mirror either. &nbsp;In motion, though, it's fantastic, and feels just wonderful to wear.</p> <p>That, I'll admit, is the exception for me. I confess to dressing for what appears great in photos more often than not. I think photos are a good part of why I'm drawn to embellished items and florals. &nbsp;I take a lot of staged photos that just show a little bit of textile--a sleeve or hem--and it's always nice to have something of interest there </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070195 Sat, 19 Oct 2019 12:39:35 +0000 Staysfit 2070195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I appreciate the perspective that a photo brings when I am assessing an outfit, but cannot rely on it for being “honest”. &nbsp;Since the “architecture“ and motion of a garment are important to my style finding ways to assess them in three dimensions is important, but also a feat similar to Sisyphus, always out of reach.... &nbsp;I suspect what others see is different than what I see. &nbsp;Perspective varies so much based on taste, regional customs, and a myriad of factors, that in the end relying on how something feels and the tidbits of information one can gather from two dimensional views, friends and family feedback, and integrating it to form an assessment seems the best way to proceed. &nbsp;In the end, I would probably choose to wear something I love regardless of whether it is conventionally flattering in a photo. &nbsp;If I feel happy with my outfit, my smile will be better, and that is the part of the picture I think will be most enduring over time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070095 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 22:31:18 +0000 Anonymous 2070095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Photos really don't tell the story at all. Angles, changes of light/shadow, and filters will make things look very different than real life. We're not 2D beings! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070062 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 21:24:13 +0000 Jenni NZ 2070062@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The thought I have is that I will never look like a model no matter what I do. I have had more than one model as a patient. The most successful of these has been successful internationally. In photos she looks astounding. She is just under 6 feet and IRL I at nearly a foot shorter than that felt like a dwarf with a giraffe in the room. This is not a criticism of the body type of either of us. It’s just saying that it is no wonder I can never look like she would in clothing. The most important thing to me is how I FEEL in the outfit, but I do think photos taken mainly for YLF or sometimes for my own reference have helped me to decide on where some item of clothing is LESS flattering than some of my other things. I still wonder who the old woman in the mirror is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070019 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 17:54:05 +0000 Sara L. 2070019@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I take outfit photos every day (except weekends when I usually forget) but I don't look at them until several hours later so they don't affect what I'm wearing.&nbsp; Meaning I can't look at the photo and change if it looks bad because I'm already out of the house at that point.&nbsp; If the photos are bad, but I feel good, I generally blame the photo.&nbsp; Seeing something in 3D and moving makes a big difference.&nbsp; I like to have a record of my outfits but I pay more attention to how an outfit feels and looks in the mirror than the photo. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070017 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 16:58:24 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2070017@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>“ sometimes the outfit that LOOKS great on camera does not feel great.“<br /> Yes, but otoh I remember posting an outfit that didn’t feel great at all. Krishna roux broke that puppy down into all sorts of great elements, pointing out things in the pic that I hadn’t noticed irl. In the end, I wanted to wear it again, even off-camera. </p> <p>Bijou, having been on both sides, I think it’s a very different thing when you are trying to change/emphasize something about your body vs when you are basically happy with the way you look naked. </p> <p>About the flattery = skinny equation and shoulders, it’s funny that some see broad shoulders as a problem but for others they offset a waist, so create an impression of skinniness in another part of the body. Idk if this is why I like having broad shoulders and would like to get mine back to square. I just recall how surprised I was the first time I saw Angie mention broad shoulders as something to be distracted from or minimized with sartorial optical illusions. Maybe it’s just because I came of age in the 80s, the era of BIG shoulder pads, lol. </p> <p>I’ll admit that so far I don’t find the pix terribly helpful, other than for showing you guys. Usually what I note is not a problem with the outfit per se, but more the sort of thing Irina mentioned—the way I’m standing or holding something makes something bunch up, or because of the hyper perspective on my phone’s camera lens, the part that’s just a little further away looks tiny. These are problems with the picture, not the outfit. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070014 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 16:52:33 +0000 Roxanna 2070014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm finding this thread so interesting and relevant. It speaks to Angie's post today - most of the outfits she shared wouldn't photograph well on us mere mortals, or even look conventionally flattering IRL, but the movement, personality, detail and textured within them would make them slam dunks. </p> <p>This is an interesting thought - as you know I started taking daily photos to identify what looks good on me and while this has been a generally worthwhile exercise (stopped me from buying a bunch of stuff that I rationalized looked good just because I wanted something new), sometimes it's nice to not give a damn about the mirror and try something new. I might try this.</p> <p>TG - SO agree with you re: IG makeup. We took a friends trip to Ottawa with our families and ended up at Denny's for dinner - and there was a table behind us of 17 yos with the most Kardashian made-up faces you can imagine. It looked so incongruous. My best friend, who is an emerg doc, remarked that she saw girls made up like this all the time - even at the hospital - and that it made her sad because they all aspired to look exactly the same.</p> <p>Also hear you about an outfit looking good for the camera but too much for real life! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2070011 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 16:36:17 +0000 Barbara Diane 2070011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For me, JFE is that I don’t want to wear something that makes me look 60 pounds heavier, which some outfits do. I have an acceptable range-I’m sometimes willing to wear items that are fun, or for a change, etc. even if I look a little bigger.<br /> Occasionally I am surprised by how I look in a photo of an outfit I felt great in, but usually it’s an odd angle.<br /> Photos, mirrors, and DH are my JFE checks. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069981 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 14:24:24 +0000 Bijou 2069981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sal, this is a fun thread and I agree with the comments above.</p> <p>What is flattering seems to be a moving target. I can remember when low rise jeans were fashionable, I was shocked to think how high rise I wore my jeans in the late 90's. Now that high rises have come back, I have purged my low rise jeans. So what is the MOST FLATTERING rise? I don't think there is an absolute, it is just that as fashion changes, so too does our view of what is flattering.</p> <p>I try to feel good in what I am wearing. If I don't feel good, I take a photo and try to diagnose what the issue is. I do find photos useful in this regard. For me, I feel my best in conventionally flattering clothing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069979 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 14:22:42 +0000 Christina F. 2069979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Ooooh, I must be one of the people you mean. So, accordingly, I have thoughts. *ahem*</div><div><br /></div><div>I think Helena's comment about how the guidelines "assume flattery = skinny" is exactly the conclusion I've come to. I think with most guidelines for figure flattery, we've internalized some kind of idealized standard for our figures. Once I realized that, I stopped giving a BLEEP.... to some extent. I'm still sensitive about a couple of areas of my body and try not to highlight them. I don't want to wear anything actively <i>unflattering</i>, for sure. But I <b>no longer care if my outfits make me look taller or skinnier<i>. </i></b><i></i><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div><i></i><b><i><br /></i></b><i></i>SO FREEING.<i><br /></i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>As for the photo side of things, I love this observation because it's true. There are plenty of times when I feel I look great in real life, but the photos are meh. I mostly only take them to assess them against each other, and to share my outfits with you all, which I think of as a form of sharing ideas. <i><br /></i></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069978 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 14:15:16 +0000 Angie 2069978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Helena</b>, I'm nodding along! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069959 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 13:15:12 +0000 Helena 2069959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The interesting flipside (which is not an original thought in this thread, it just became very clarified to me and need to articulate in words), is that sometimes the outfit that LOOKS great on camera does not feel great. My best WIWs are not my best oufits irl, and truth be told, sometimes I remove some of what made it an interesting outfit on camera, because it feels 'too much' (for me) irl. So to Angie's point, it's almost like we as a society are being presented a choice - what's going to matter more, our digital image or our real life experience?!? But it is sadly and shockingly counter-cultural, in a way, to value the real thing over the Insta-snap. So vive la resistance!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069917 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 03:09:09 +0000 Jaime 2069917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of intriguing thoughts. I like to take my pictures in a consistent place (I have found one right outside my door, or else my smudgey mirror selfies), and pose so I can see how my outfits are working one relative to the other. I have learned to accept that the first time I see myself I will be hyper critical and don't really like anything for a few days. As for figure flattery, my nature is so much more to cover flaws than to enhance assets. I am working on that all the time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069911 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 02:27:57 +0000 Irina 2069911@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I remember looking at myself in the photo wearing an outfit that tried before and thought it looked elegant. In the photo I looked horrible with my arms folded and jacket bunched in the wrong places. I wondered how could I think it looks good? Then I consoled myself that it is the light, the pose and such :)<br />I always have a dilemma with my makeup. IRL I wear a minimal makeup, in the photos it looks like I don’t wear any. Convinced that I should wear more, I do and feel overdone and uncomfortable. So, forget it, I dress and I apply makeup for a real life, I’m not an influencer or a model. I don’t wear conventionally flattering clothes, it is my choice, this is how I express my individuality. Some outfits in the photos I like and some I don’t for a number of reasons. Good one happened mostly by a coincidence - good pose, great light, movement. Fortunately, very little of my life is photographed:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069900 Fri, 18 Oct 2019 01:18:12 +0000 nemosmom 2069900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Nodding along with everyone here. There are MANY times I take a photo of an outfit I feel AWESOME in, then look at it thinking, "what the heck is THAT?! Did I leave the house like this??!"&nbsp; And there are others where hubs will say, "you look nice today", and my mind is boggled.&nbsp; <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I think confidence is everything - if you feel like you're rockin' it, then you probably are! <br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069874 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 23:19:08 +0000 Angie 2069874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh good heavens, YES to all the musings on this thread so far. </p> <p>Just look at how bad the light and equipment is when I take photos with my phone in the mirror at home for the forum, versus when Greg would take them in perfect light with the best camera and lenses back when we did outfit posts. It’s chalk and cheese. </p> <p>Moving in an outfit always makes it look a lot better. Stationary and stiff poses do not do the looks justice.</p> <p>Even with the best tools, models and conditions, black does not photograph well, and neither does flat or shiny fabric. </p> <p>I do think we are living in an era where what you look like and how you project yourself onscreen is more important than pukka in person. Unbelievable isn’t it! My mind boggles with that one. </p> <p>As for figure flattery - it’s personal, subjective, and evolving. It’s all about having your own set of figure flattering priorities, and running with them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069873 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 23:17:39 +0000 Anonymous 2069873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a rather tortured relationship with flattery, and JFE. &nbsp; I often say that I cannot "afford* to wear something JFE because I don't have enough overall to work with (looks wise) &nbsp;to offset weird silhouettes and anything not traditionally flattering. But then, I get annoyed and emotionally exhausted worrying about this stuff, and occasionally say - scr** it, I'm wearing it. But then the pattern repeats. I'm usually taken aback by photos of myself and horrified by how I look in group photos etc. That's when the whole cycle repeats itself. &nbsp; &nbsp;I do know that I present as less chunky in person than I do in photos - but that's due to the things that Suz mentioned about quality of photos. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069870 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 23:00:15 +0000 Sal 2069870@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz I agree about the balance.&nbsp; In some settings I dress for flattery - others more with a nod to being fashion forward.</p> <p>Rachy - I agree - it is useful.&nbsp; I discount things due to length sometimes but that may not be an issue.</p> <p>TG - yes I know what you mean about some makeup.&nbsp; I do wonder how the heavily contoured look IRL.&nbsp; With flattery we have our own "sensitive spots" that we might always try and conceal or enhance - others sometimes don't even notice.</p> <p>Katerina - yes!!&nbsp; Luxe fabrics like silk or satin sometimes don't photograph well - nor does linen to my mind.&nbsp; And yet that texture is what makes an item.</p> <p>And to all - yes - how we feel is important.&nbsp; Some outfits do work in theory but not on us.&nbsp; I have put up WIW that people have complimented but that I have never repeated......because they don't feel right to me.&nbsp; And vice versa!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069869 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 22:57:44 +0000 LaPed 2069869@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>TG, I totally agree with you re: Instagram make-up. People who go that heavy rarely look their best IRL, but a lot of people (especially young folks) care more about how they look onscreen than face-to-face. Priorities are shifting and I do think it changes how people dress and how we think about personal style.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069865 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 22:36:04 +0000 Suz 2069865@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Katerina,</b> what an excellent point about fabrication. <b>SO</b> true.&nbsp;</p> <p>Nodding with <b>Rachy</b> and <b>TG</b>, too.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069846 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 20:48:08 +0000 Katerina 2069846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh yes, Sal! I think about this too and agree with everything Suz says.<br /> Just one addition - in photographs, it is almost impossible to see quality of fabric. Some simple things in amazing fabrics will often not get justice in photos. And som not so good materials can look good in photos. IMO, this is often the problem of the sort of “splurge versus steal” outfit photos that used to be in magazines. Look similar in pictures but a mile away from each other IRL. I guess it is a part of what you are saying, Sal, that how the fabric drape and the movement, and something like the subtle sheen, is not captured in photos. Photos are a good indication of whether we like a style or a style direction, proportions etc., but they do not tell the whole story. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069843 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 20:41:19 +0000 Helena 2069843@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love these musings Sally. I totally agree that photos and life tell two different stories. Perhaps because photos are now so ubiquitous, they are becoming overly influential. I always assume photos are more honest, but actually when I think of makeup, say, i see girls wearing making that is for Instagram and, to my eye at least, it detracts from their beauty irl. I also read a blog post earlier about dressing for body types that reminded readers there is no piece of clothing that's going to change a person's body! Not to mention these guidelines generally assume flattery = skinny. Anyways, I try to wear things I think are "flattering" but am also trying to be better at what Suz mentions which is focusing on how I feel vs how flat I think my stomach looks! I agree too -movement, life, confidence are not always captured in a photo but they read loud and clear irl! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/musings-on-figure-flattery-and-photos#post-2069841 Thu, 17 Oct 2019 20:39:07 +0000 rachylou 2069841@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I must say, I do like it when they do video on shopping sites or like QVC, show the same item on different people. </p>