https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 11 Apr 2026 04:36:53 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1996093 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 01:21:20 +0000 MsMaven 1996093@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Isabel</b>, your post reminded me that a few years ago we took a class on aging at Stanford taught by Simon Tan. He works with Stanford Hospital and at the time tested older people for cognitive decline. Airline pilots and MDs were some of those he regularly tested. Doctors were the worst, according to Tan, because they wouldn't admit to any decline whatsoever.<br /><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.paloaltou.edu/faculty/simon-tan">https://www.paloaltou.edu/faculty/simon-tan</a></p> <p>He talked about different strategies advertised to stall off decline. He said doing Sudoku and puzzles helped to make you better at Sudoko and crosswords, whatever it was.</p> <p>At the time, he said the best strategy is regular exercise. From what I've read in the last while, "studies show" that physical exercise is the best way to stave of Alzheimers and dementia. So, keep moving.</p> <p>This was a strange week to have made this post. I learned the other day that a long term (15 years ago) online friend had died at age 77. We never met in person, but knew each other through a forum we posted on. She was a wonderfully wise person, but when her husband died a couple of years ago, her health declined.</p> <p>Yesterday I learned that another online friend, who I did meet in person and was friends with, fell and broke her hip. Her shoelace somehow caught in the open door of her dishwasher. She's a few years older than me and has been through breast cancer, so this is a blow. She will have to go to a nursing home and learn to walk with a walker. In her 70s she published a novel based on her childhood experiences.&nbsp;</p> <p>One of the big challenges in growing older is that we don't know for sure what is in store for us, except that we aren't immortal.</p> <p>Yep--we need to enjoy all the good things in life.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995992 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 19:13:27 +0000 Alicewonderland 1995992@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hope as I get older I will remember to ENJOY all the good things in life more and not focus too much on how the world perceives me or if I am doing enough. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995987 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 18:45:00 +0000 Isabel 1995987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ms. Maven, what a GREAT post. Thank you.&nbsp; I love everything about it. Isn't it funny how we are somehow expected to become different people as we age ?&nbsp; If you have always loved learning and spending time with people, why would that change ? My dad is 87 and in relatively good health. He walks everywhere, doesn't need glasses and still grows a garden of vegetables that get him and my mom through an entire winter. His cardiologist always says that you just have to keep moving and that includes moving those neuronal pathways in the brain. You are an inspiration.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995935 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 15:41:27 +0000 taylor 1995935@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am absolutely awe struck at the well articulated thoughts here.<br /> I think each of those who have posted have touched on many of my same thoughts .<br /> I turned 61 this past year . I cannot tell you the impact of hitting this decade, it has really affected me and I’m not sure why .<br /> I can remember getting my annual exam that year , as my doc walked in she said “ Taylor, I can’t believe this it can’t be , you aren’t 60”<br /> I said “ I said I know right ? I’ve got what ....20 yrs. left if I’m lucky”<br /> Of course we laughed but a small part of me does feel closer to death .</p> <p>That said ,I am incredibly lucky and blessed to be in good health . And the women in my moms family tend to live well into their ninties . So there’s that bit of good news.</p> <p>I see my parents really starting to fail though and I am seeing the frailties of old age . It’s an eye opener . My husband just turned 70 and although in great health also , I nearly lost him suddenly 6 yrs. ago. So the reality of how frail and precious life is hits home . Facing life without him terrifies me. Kkards post really summed up some of my fears .</p> <p>I don’t worry too much about feeling young because I DO feel young . We are very active and really enjoy our retired lifestyle . We traveled quite a lot with our children and a lot this past decade . I don’t have the desire to travel so much anymore . We stick close to home and travel monthly to visit our children and grandchildren . They bring us such joy.</p> <p>I try to stick with positive thoughts and mostly enjoy each new day . I’m grateful for where we have been , how far we have come and where we are going in this life because I know all to well things can change in a heartbeat. I don’t sweat the small stuff anymore . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995918 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 14:43:03 +0000 Janet 1995918@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>“I did not grow up in a family where aging meant happy, healthy , financially secure retirement with lots of activity , connection and exercise. Far from it.“</p> <p>Same here, Lisa. For some very sad and understandable reasons, my mother had a very deep fear of aging and illness, and unfortunately I have carried some of that into my life. My dad didn’t live long enough to really face the issues of aging. And I never knew my grandparents (I came along after three of them were gone, and my mom’s mother died when I was three so I have no memory of her) so I really had very few role models for healthy aging. </p> <p>So I feel like I have an opportunity to write my own rules around this stuff. I turn 54 this year and think I’m in what may be termed a healthy state of denial about it. I just have a hard time getting my head around the fact that I’m entering my mid-50s, despite the signs of aging I see in the mirror. </p> <p>My mom was very proud of the fact that she looked younger than her years as she got older. Doctors remarked on it, as looking younger generally equated to being healthier. So yes, I do have some issues about not wanting to look “older” and I own it. Does that make me shallow or inauthentic? I don’t believe so. </p> <p>But more importantly, I don’t want to be “old” on the inside. I want to stay healthy, active, engaged, and as social as it suits me right up to my final days, which will hopefully be several decades from now. I know people who are younger than I am but already seem old before their time because of attitudes and self-imposed limits. I promised myself a decade ago that I would do my best to keep making my life interesting! That keeps me “young.” </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995913 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 14:22:13 +0000 Anonymous 1995913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I did not grow up in a family where aging meant happy, healthy , financially secure retirement with lots of activity , connection and exercise. Far from it. &nbsp;(not just my own parents, but other relatives and family friends) I tend to have a cynical attitude about it, mixed in with a lot of fear , to be perfectly honest. &nbsp;Life is really tough , and it was for both of my parents, and I am thinking a lot right now about how mine will play out, and what I can do to make it as good as possible. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995818 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 01:10:00 +0000 Carla 1995818@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've met SO MANY people since retiring, and it hasn't even been a year yet! My neighbors (!), Bridge, the gym, the library, my local bakery/coffee shop. I haven't even joined some of the clubs that I want to, and I'm still meeting folks! </p> <p>Health care issues started at 57 and were a bit of a surprise, but I'm dealing with them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995812 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 00:32:18 +0000 rachylou 1995812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, it’s true that my purple hair makes people talk to me on the street and in shops, as does Lilypup<br /> attract attention, and sometimes I have to Very Firmly tell people I don’t want to hang out more... well, actually, my hair never had to be purple... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995805 Thu, 24 Jan 2019 23:50:36 +0000 Angie 1995805@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Rachy</b>, I meet new people through work and Greg's work, and living in a new place.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995804 Thu, 24 Jan 2019 23:48:58 +0000 Angie 1995804@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>MsMaven, </b>what a sweet thing to say. You make me look forward to being 77.</p> <p><b>Kkards</b>, I'm sure you will have a support structure. Even those who are not alone now, might be in our 70s. We can face the terrifying thought with others to make it easier. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995781 Thu, 24 Jan 2019 22:44:43 +0000 kkards 1995781@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As a 55yo single women I’m both looking forward to and dreading my 70s and beyond. Yes the freedom from work etc is appealing-but the knowledge that when (not if) I must face the limitations of my body &amp; perhaps my mind, essentially on my own terrifying me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995760 Thu, 24 Jan 2019 21:23:03 +0000 rachylou 1995760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I think I’m officially old this year because I injure myself sleeping now. Lol. And I’m afraid that when people look at my resume they’ll worry about my age when they see the dates.</p> <p>But if no one sees my resume... it’s quite strange. My cultural references overlap with everyone from 20-80... I guess thanks to Netflix and Spotify. I’m off-schedule anyways, the only milestone I’ve hit that matches anyone else’s is graduating high school. And my brain refuses to timestamp a single memory (have to call friends for dates). And frankly, my 80-yr old aunts and uncles do things like take 17-mile bike rides which I have never, and will never, be able to do (fall over going around corners).</p> <p>I wonder about the invisibility thing, I have to say. Since leaving school, I feel like I don’t meet people outside work and dog meetups. But that’s since leaving SCHOOL. Do adults really meet new people without an excuse? Ever? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995688 Thu, 24 Jan 2019 18:54:08 +0000 MsMaven 1995688@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes <b>gryffin</b>, you are right about surviving and enduring, and the importance of resilience. Few of us arrive at a mature age without suffering loss and disappointments, and in some cases, just bad luck.</p> <p><b>Angie</b>, thank you. I've learned a lot from you and the forum members--you are always ready with advice and enthusiasm when I need it.</p> <p><b>Shevia</b>, I take pride in how well I park as well. I hope I can keep it up.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995438 Thu, 24 Jan 2019 04:19:23 +0000 Jaime 1995438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for this post. I like to hoist up heavy things in front of people that want to help me (younger men usually). I also get satisfaction when I park perfectly in front of (older men usually) who want to jump in and assist. I digress. It is a difficult age with parents and children both needing support, but, to be honest, I never found any of my life a cakewalk. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995344 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 19:09:07 +0000 Angie 1995344@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, that’s so sad. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995343 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 19:06:58 +0000 Angie 1995343@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>MsMaven, you WOW and inspire me. You are full of life, energy, adventure and fun projects. Soooooo fabulous. Thanks for the very kind and insightful comment on yesterday’s blog post too. </p> <p>I’m enjoying the links and opinions here. Thought provoking for sure. </p> <p>Gryffin, you are poetic, on top of being wise and gracious. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995274 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 12:05:52 +0000 gryffin 1995274@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>MsMaven - thank you for starting this thread. What a beautiful and profound subject for this morning. I am 59. More years are behind me than in front of me and I’ve wrestled with all the usual challenges of my age on a daily basis - I straddle the bridge of being caretaker for my mom, mil and uncle and mother to a HS senior who is just beginning his journey. Dealing with my own grief at our losses and living in hope for the future. And watching my elders choose how to view life with either satisfaction of a life well lived or a morass of broken dreams and disappointments. Somehow I’ve always known and wholly agree life is mostly attitude. We can’t control circumstances but we can choose how we view them. Even through loss of a beloved parent or dearest friend - the defining moment when we understand the true difference between sadness vs sorrow. We can choose to honor life and celebrate their lives, to take the essesnce of their greatness and carry it forward or to sink into the inertia of dispair and let loss drown us. Reading this reminded me that my style statement is “enduring classic”. The ability to survive, to soldier on bravely - not unscathed, but battered and worn, is how I define myself. So when I wear that LBD with combat boots - the pristine with the old and well loved items marked by life that outfit resonates. The ability to bend, to withstand, to tolerate the scars(visible or those of the soul) and maintain gratitude that everyday is a miracle and a gift, to bring kindness, love and patience when I am weary, resilience when i feel most vulnerable and to see beauty when life is at its most difficult- to me that’s to live and love with grace. It the path I try and choose even if I don’t always wholly succeed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995242 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 08:12:05 +0000 Cardiff girl 1995242@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a thought provoking post and responses. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995225 Wed, 23 Jan 2019 04:33:05 +0000 Carla 1995225@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for the link, Gaylene. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995191 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 23:03:33 +0000 MsMaven 1995191@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good points <b>Torontogirl</b>. Some people gripe about "becoming invisible," but as you point out, it is freeing not to see photos of gorgeous 80 year olds all over. Meanwhile, it bothers me to see certain actresses who look so bound up, stitched, and filled that they look like caricatures of their younger selves.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Gaylene</b>, I'd never seen Ronni's blog but I'm going to catch up on it. Thanks for this. I do feel lucky. I'm also more aware than ever that that I can't be certain what the future holds.&nbsp;</p> <p>As soon as I get time I'm going to read the blog. Got homework for tonight.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995183 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 22:17:08 +0000 Gaylene 1995183@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As another YLF veteran in her seventh decade, I, too, am finding life good because I’m lucky enough to have stable finances, good health, and a loving partner who, although 10 years older than me, is still active and alert. But, I’m also aware that my situation makes me one of the lucky ones—and that circumstances could change in a proverbial heartbeat. </p> <p>While it’s always inspirational to hear about how life in ones seventies, eighties, and nineties is active and fulfilling, I’m sometimes dismayed at the reluctance we have to be equally forthcoming about some of the complex issues we can face as older women. Many of my friends, despite having been as, or even more, diligent than I was about diet, exercise, finances, and all the other “things we should do to live longer and happier lives” haven’t had the luck to be in my shoes. </p> <p>My own observations are that aging, like the “teenage” years, are a time of changes to our bodies and minds. Some blithely sail through unscathed, some struggle and overcome, and some hit horrendous obstacles, despite best efforts or intentions. How we react to what life throws our way isn’t always predictable and the outcomes aren’t always what we’d have envisioned, or even prepared for, in our thoughts. </p> <p>Probably one of the best blogs I’ve ever read about aging is Ronni Bennett’s Time Goes By: <a href="https://www.timegoesby.net/" rel="nofollow">https://www.timegoesby.net/</a></p> <p>Ronni is currently blogging about her final months with inoperable cancer with a wry grace and insight after holding forth about the glories and indignities of aging in our society since 2004.<br /> (Her response to receiving that bit of news: ,“A-a-a-ll R-i-i-ight! I just went through my exercise routine for the last time ever this morniung.” )</p> <p>A look back into the archives discussing everything from advertising to “old” people, elder sex, ageism in healthcare, elder job search, and a myriad of other topics will make you appreciate the lively curiosity, wit, humor, and insight she has been delivering to readers of her blog for years. </p> <p>As a sample, here’s her take on “senior” fashion models:<br /> <a href="https://www.timegoesby.net/weblog/2016/06/empowering-old-women-via-fashion-models.html" rel="nofollow">https://www.timegoesby.net/web.....odels.html</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995173 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 21:26:06 +0000 Helena 1995173@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this MsMaven! I love that you are living your life to the fullest. This should be the goal regardless of age. I love that you can probably out-press the baggers too :)</p> <p>The NYTimes article was interesting. It made me wonder something - and to be clear, I hadn't though of this until 5 minutes ago - so it's a question, not a clear opinion - but I wonder if the lack of representation of older women in media is, in some ways, the REASON (or part of it at least) the writer experiences the freedom she does. Like, if all the fashion magazines start showing women in their 70s and 80s who are fit and gorgeous and styled to the 9s, do we then all have that pressure, and not the opportunity, as she says, to stop worrying about our looks and trade in for yoga tights and jeans? I know as a Mom, it's overall GREAT that we are no longer represented as frumpy and dated (I'm pro-representation in all its forms). But there is a shadow side, where it's now an expectation - like I not only have to nurse a newborn, but I have to do it while made up and wearing heels (I exaggerate, but you know what I mean) rather than just being in my sweatshirt and leave me alone for a while, dammit!</p> <p>Anyways, just throwing that out there ... I don't know what I think about it, truthfully, I need to ponder further ...</p> <p>Thanks for sharing such thought-provoking words! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/more-thoughts-on-aging-wlinks-and-long#post-1995158 Tue, 22 Jan 2019 20:50:14 +0000 MsMaven 1995158@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I haven't seen this op ed discussed here, and maybe I just missed it. I read the article last week, some of it I liked and some I didn't but I have been too busy to bother going back to reread.&nbsp;<a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2019/01/12/opinion/sunday/women-older-happiness.html">https://www.nytimes.com/2019/0.....iness.html</a></p> <p>Then Duchesse posted her views on this same topic.<a rel="nofollow" href="https://passagedesperles.blogspot.com/2019/01/philosophy-in-passage.html">https://passagedesperles.blogs.....ssage.html</a></p> <p>And today Angie's post. So I threw these things out for anyone who wants to discuss them further.&nbsp;</p> <p>I have good health despite a few bad habits. A bit of arthritis. Harder to lose weight. I owe some of it to luck, good genes, and to the fact that my mother was diagnosed with colon cancer at age 57, and my f-i-l with angina and serious heart problems at age 48. My Mom lived to be almost 93, and f-i-l to 55. 3 of my 4 grandparents died of cancer.</p> <p>I was in my mid-20s at the time and I immediately went to the library and started researching latest studies. In the late 70s Norman Pritikin became a client of DHs and we read and followed the general outlines of his books. DH has has had a lot of difficulties that resulted in serious and numerous surgeries and he takes lots of prescription medicines, but he's healthy and can still squat all the way down which I can't do without serious knee problems.&nbsp;</p> <p>One of the things that inspires me is my love of fashion, inherited from Mom and her mother. When Grandma died--she claimed to be 77 but research proved she was &nbsp;80--Mom was horrified that Grandma left a $100 bill at a downtown dress shop. (Sizable bill in 1953.) My older sister complained that she couldn't keep up with Grandma on her downtown shopping trips. My Mom made my sister, her caretaker towards the end, to promise to have her Mom's hair&nbsp;done the way she liked and not too much make up when she was in her coffin.&nbsp;</p> <p>When my Mom used to complain about getting old, I wanted to answer her, but didn't: Well, what did you expect? I try hard not to complain.</p> <p>Well, I was raised to be a modest Mormon girl, so I &nbsp;have never been too comfortable in mini-skirts and low cut tops, so dressing like a teenager has never been enticing, but I still want to look good in classic, "relaxed polish" clothes.&nbsp;</p> <p>I believe that wanting to look good and be healthy as possible are one and the same goals.&nbsp;</p> <p>While I like to read many blogs for women of a certain age, I refuse to accept the attitude that I am decrepit and useless.&nbsp;</p> <p>We take continuing ed classes at Stanford. Have one tonight on the 1st Amendment. Often looking around at our classmates we remark that it make us feel young. Some people are carried in by their caretakers, there was one frequent classmate who was bent over at the waist, couldn't sit up straight, but there she was, learning new things.&nbsp;</p> <p>Besides taking classes, traveling, keeping up with friends and family, and gardening, although I've had to give some of it up, I have one more goal before I'm done: to finish the biography I've been writing the last 11 years. I'm maybe 2/3 through the first draft, I have to limit my hours in front of the computer, but I'm going to get it done. I've joined history groups, presented articles at conferences, and had articles published, all since I turned 70. I am so busy!</p> <p>And I almost never accept help taking my groceries out. Don't the baggers realize I do pushups? I do let them take out my 20 pound bags of birds at the Bird Watcher store. Why push my luck?</p>