YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Monkey see, monkey do?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Monkey see, monkey do? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 09 May 2026 02:14:09 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php JenA on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672951 Thu, 19 Jul 2012 16:18:58 +0000 JenA 672951@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is such a great question that I've come out of my lurking (for several months) to respond. As a former NYC gal (shout out to Zapotee), I love shopping and YLF hasn't changed my habits. What it has done is increase my awareness of what I should/n't purchase. Now, I think if an item will 'fit' into my wardrobe before and after a purchase - curating is a great term. I've become a more thoughtful and less impulsive shopper. It has also helped me reflect on my reasons for shopping. As Rae mentioned, I shop for a variety of reasons ("boredom, unhappiness, stress, anxiety, change") and when I find myself shopping too much for those reasons, I actually come back here. YLF has enabled me to enjoy fashion and share this interest with others without spending money. Mo on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672937 Thu, 19 Jul 2012 16:01:21 +0000 Mo 672937@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, I do keep to a budget, as well. I just wonder how YLF affects my use of said budget ;) Hopefully, it is to be more focused and make better thought out purchases. But, just maybe, the seeing things over and over put the suggestions into my subliminal thoughts. RoseandJoan on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672904 Thu, 19 Jul 2012 15:19:38 +0000 RoseandJoan 672904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a small budget which is set in stone, YLF encourages me to be adventurous within my budget and to have fun with fashion. If I did overspend it would be due to my own resolve or lack there of and not as a result of the blog and forum. I do ensure I am on YLF or online stores in my spare time once I have tackled the daily chores (be they at home or at work). I personally find budgeting time so much harder than the finances. I do think it helps being in the UK, it is not easy to shop at Nordies, The Rack or the other forum favourites stores. Anonymous on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672471 Thu, 19 Jul 2012 00:07:06 +0000 Anonymous 672471@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am not sure. I have been curating my wardrobe - I'm loving Mary K's description- for years, even before I joined YLF. Buying clothes is the predominant hobby for NYC gals, I swear. The only thing you need to do to corroborate this fact is to look at the stores during lunch time. Total havoc. Queen Mum on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672453 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 23:56:36 +0000 Queen Mum 672453@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I do think that staying away helped to curb some shopping urge and kept me on my one per month plan. But I also think there is a good chance I could have succeeded even when faced with all the goodies here. In general, I do credit YLF for helping me make more wise purchases and avoid ending up with closet orphans.... BUT ( no fault of anyone here but me) it is so easy to get caught up in the excitement of seeing everyone model new stuff and getting oohed and ahhed over. Or maybe it's kind of like riding in a friends brand new car... suddenly yours looks like a junk heap in comparison. In fact, I did notice that while taking a YLF break, I found myself reading organizing and home decorating blogs and suddenly I was horrified at how outdated the decor of my house was. I had never heard the term "builder grade" until recently and apparently it's not a good thing... LOL. It sure is hard to stay in a place of contentment when you see what everyone else has. Laura also makes an excellent point. The adrenaline rush of buying something new feels good, but fades fast. I try to be mindful when I'm getting the "gimmes" and step back and remind myself that I have a perfectly functional and up to date wardrobe. Just because Sally is sporting ____________, doesn't mean I have to run out and buy one. Jjsloane on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672378 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 22:55:38 +0000 Jjsloane 672378@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It can be very enticing seeing lots of gorgeous things and I have absolutely purchased based on the excitement caused. Like Shannon I like to think I purchase more wisely now. I'm really trying a modified SYC so I'm pinning items of interest. I do tend to fill multiple online shopping baskets when I"m bored, just now I don't complete the order. Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672372 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 22:46:29 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 672372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene, I think you have a great point. It's easy to get caught up in the adrenaline of purging the old and getting new, whatever you spend on it. But sometimes it's much ado about nothing - it makes us feel better for a few minutes but it fades remarkably fast. Personally I buy and return a lot more than I used to. Is that disciplined, or is that just too suggestible? I wish I knew. Scarlet on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672213 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 20:08:12 +0000 Scarlet 672213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You know, if anything I have become much more focused since hanging around here, although I have to admit being across the ocean it is easy not to be tempted by the exact things I see here--duties are just too punishing. Although if I considered the exchange rate... Best not to go there. Anonymous on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672200 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:58:57 +0000 Anonymous 672200@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I usually have more self control when shopping online, too. For one thing, it's easier for me to focus on what I'm looking for. When in a brick-and-mortar store, many things vye for my attention. CocoLion on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672196 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:56:26 +0000 CocoLion 672196@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Anna recently pointed me towards some J Brand brocade skinnies and I want them for fall, so yes, YLF does make me want things. But all of my YLF-influenced purchases are very well considered so I think, money well spent. It is much harder for me to go into retail and constrain myself. I'm much better at it on-line. I think it's because I am so retail deprived where I live, that when I get to do some retail, I positively binge buy! Mo on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672189 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:50:24 +0000 Mo 672189@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gaylene, I am coming around to this way of thinking myself. I realize I don't really have a problem with spending $$ as much as I do with having too much stuff. So, a budget is helpful only so far. I can still nickel and dime myself into a stuffed closet. Maybe the 1 (or 2, I'm scared of just 1!) a month plan is best for me. Interestingly, when I look back at a wardrobe plan I penned late last year, it came to 2 items a month, plus 4 accessories (bag, belt, scarf or hat). I really think this will serve me best. I found I started this year off great, and then got sidetracked while waiting for work to start in CA. And again got sidetracked when I had my mad money to burn upon arriving here in FL. I found I bought 5 dresses and 5 jackets so far this year. Time to get back on track and focus on the fewer and better items. To my credit, I did return 2 items this week that got forum thumbs up that I just wasn't 100% sold on. I will find those True Religion Camerons in a 26 though before this year is up!!! JR on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672188 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:49:44 +0000 JR 672188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have a long-standing policy of not buying things the first time I think of things, so while my brief acquaintance with YLF has put lots of ideas in my head, it remains to be seen how many will stick. It has definitely confirmed some ideas that were already floating around, like the thought that I need a denim jacket! It will be very hard for me to measure, because I am in a period of major wardrobe renewal out of sheer necessity. Hopefully it will help me spend better as opposed to more. Gaylene on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672181 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:41:48 +0000 Gaylene 672181@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've also been on a 12-items-for-this-year shopping plan. It has forced me to think much more wisely about what I'm buying instead of just "oh, this is inexpensive/on-sale, so why not buy it". To date, some of my purchases have been very expensive while others have been only a couple of dollars, but all of them have given me a great deal of pleasure. I think it's inevitable that a fashion forum is going to make us want to play around with our wardrobes which often results in more purchases. That doesn't bother me as much as does the closet purging syndrome. I started to question my own behavior after reading about what actually happens to "donated" items that we blithely assume are going to a good cause. And the validation that purging seems to give me to "restock" my wardrobe "holes" also seems to be a bit suspect. Angie provides a good role model in wardrobe building, but her approach can get overlooked in the excitement of the forum. I really respect those forum members who have the guts to say "hmm, maybe think it over" when asked for a keep-or-return opinion. While it's easier to post an encouraging "OMG, I love it; buy it now" comment, I think providing that pause where a person can reflect on how an item is going to fit into her lifestyle and wardrobe is where forum members really help each other. annagybe on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672150 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:17:17 +0000 annagybe 672150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The only thing that I've seen on the forum lately that have tempted me are the True Religion Cameron's. I was a shopper before I found the forum. Sometimes the forum is too good of an enabler though. rachylou on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672120 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:48:43 +0000 rachylou 672120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Mm. I pretty much spontaneously combust with the desire to buy clothes every day. Can't say that YLF *could* do anything to make that conflagration bigger. LOL. I will admit that YLF *has* led me into stores that I never went into or stopped going to - like, ahem, Nordstrom and Ann Taylor and Banana Republic. I'm looking to visit a Zara's in the future. SYC is pretty brilliant, in my mind as well. Meredith1953 on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672067 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 18:15:59 +0000 Meredith1953 672067@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have spent more on clothing since joining YLF but it was long overdue! That being said, I now need to reign myself in and do more remixing and thinking. I know I can't build a complete wardrobe super quickly because I don't have the budget and need to really soul search about how much clothing do I need to own. Example: If I only go to one or two cocktail parties a year, do I need more than one or two at the most cocktail dresses or outfits? I am at that stage in my thinking. I do love spending time on this site and have had to start limiting it a little so that I give more attention to family (Hubs seems a little jealous). I also love the fantastic style the ladies here rock! It's better to me than a fashion magazine. Do I want to rock all those same trends?....No. I am mostly a classic/modern and I am happy that most of my wardrobe is slowly becoming consistent with that style. Anonymous on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672047 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:59:50 +0000 Anonymous 672047@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm shopping more, but not spending any more money than I was before. I did jump on some spring trends that, in retrospect, aren't *me*, but I'm chalking that up to the learning process. I think Queen Mum would have been pretty disciplined even if she have spent more time on the forum. She was reading Angie's blog and some of our posts after all, so she still was subject to "monkey see, monkey do". IMO. ManidipaM on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672033 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 17:31:50 +0000 ManidipaM 672033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think I am slightly suggestible in that I have of late (last quarter, mainly) bought a few things I'd never have thought of independently --- but often they served to define a hole I couldn't identify the shape of. So, say, I knew an outfit felt or looked off-kilter; but didn't know what it was I needed to sort it out or de-orphan it. YLFers either told me what I needed (like the metallic shoes I would NEVER have bought last year) or inspired me to try something others were using (my new topper, several camisoles, belts). This has actually been GOOD for the budget --- because earlier I would have bought several items out of frustration and ended up spending more money, maybe on new outfits entirely and still had irritating orphans. At other times, though, it has been more a case of finding validation rather than temptation here. I find, my budget being as tight as it is, I ultimately can turn away from temptation easily enough unless it was something I'd been secretly or fearfully been wanting to start with. Thus, my new red skinnies -- I didn't have the courage to experiment pre-YLF because I didn't know how to wear them; watching others do so made it a feasible experiment rather than potential money down the drain, which I can't afford. Ditto my black Clarks shoes, where I'd been uncertain of the style as well as comfort, and it seemed expensive without reassurance from YLFers that they are indeed worth it in terms of quality. To an extent, it is oddly freeing to watch so many women enjoying the trends I can't --- and acknowledging they can't wear every trend any more than I can! Keeps me more focused on what my style might be, rather than just following the must-have lists, even while I try to experiment and remix. I won't deny being occasionally envious and sometimes impatient when I (a) know I need a refresher or restocking and can't afford it as fast as some do at the turn of each season or (b) when I have this epiphany of X item being just what I need to rescue orphan Y, but have to wait to find the right iteration in my price point. It doesn't last too long though, in this positive atmosphere --- and the benefits far outweigh the drawback of that momentary twinge. Yes, I need to better ration and use my time on here. I'm guilty of writing TOO long a post or reply most times, and must edit better for your sakes as much as mine. But SYC isn't the issue there, time is. Re SYC, the interesting thing that happened in my last months of it, after two years of struggling, was that positive feedback on what did work actually helped me feel more confident, less distressed about my appearance or frump factor, less depressed by restrictions (hey, look, there are other ladies in this boat with me---and they look fab! maybe I can too?) and thus less likely to spend on a whim or feel angsty when walking past something I like in a shop window. Anonymous on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-672015 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 16:55:44 +0000 Anonymous 672015@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think this forum helps me appreciate styles that I can't wear but that others can rock. My style is essentially classic-trendy, and I apppreciate the ideas and inspiration I glean from YLF. Am I shopping more? Not that I can tell. I am, however, shopping more conscientiously and confidently because of the information learned from Angie and all you YLFers. I've never been the type of person who does or tries something just because "everyone else" is doing it. I try to be open minded, though, so I don't get stuck in a rut. I don't like it when people do things a certain way just because "it's always been done that way," when they can't seem to articulate good reasons not to do it a different way. I hope I never get that way! Isabel on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-671990 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 16:25:23 +0000 Isabel 671990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Coming here while on SYC has not been hard. It is hard to gauge the effect. The time during which I have been here, has been a huge time of change for me. Not so much my life, but my body. I do buy more expensive things though. I have upgraded my shoes and some bags. And I am VERY happy about that. Two years ago, I was googling NAS because I thought it was a texting acronym. Now it is the first place I go when looking for something. I am pretty good at loving something on someone and not necessarily wanting it for myself. However, this place is such a force that I often see or read about something that I have wanted for years but had no idea it existed : Second Base demi camis. So I have spent more, but I am getting to a place that I am pretty happy with what I have and really don't want anymore. Laura (rhubarbgirl) on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-671985 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 16:21:10 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 671985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think for me that there is a correlation - but it's both directions. If I'm not in the mood to think about fashion and shopping, I don't hang out at YLF as much, but it's not as if YLF makes me shop per se. I do sometimes feel left out of trends, and more apt to consider participating in them, because of YLF though. rae on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-671975 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 16:15:57 +0000 rae 671975@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have wondered about this myself! My spending definitely went up over the past year, but I've been on YLF longer than that so, for me, I decided the same as Shannon: YLF helps me spend more wisely. I do see a lot of items to lust over on the site, but the forum has really helped me to define my style to the point where I can eliminate a lot of items without even trying them on. I purged SO MUCH from my closet recently - experiments that didn't need to happen, even if much of it only cost a dollar. Conversely, when a YLFer links to something that *could* work for me, it saves a lot of time and grief. Access to reviews, size issues, measurements, horror stories... purchases like my Julias, CCV dress, and Gap jeggings that I bought because of YLF have been huge workhorses. The things that *do* cause me to spend more? Boredom, unhappiness, stress, anxiety, change... I know I've spent more than usual recently - while I'm not 100% impressed with my restraint over the last year, I'm just happy that I've bought good things instead of duds. :T Aziraphale on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-671969 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 16:07:52 +0000 Aziraphale 671969@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's a good question, Mo. For me personally, I don't think YLF makes me spend more money. If it does, the difference is minimal. What YLF does affect is the amount of time I spend at the computer, which is a different problem, and one I have to monitor. I've examined why I spend time here. It's a combination of three pleasures: social interaction, discussion of a topic I'm interested in, and the pleasure of quickly putting thoughts and ideas into typewritten words. And sometimes I even have a style or purchase question, and it's nice to be part of a community that can help me find the answer -- and in return, I'm happy to leave comments where others have asked questions. But I can't let the time I spend here interfere with the things I need to get done, so now I set time limits for myself. Transcona Shannon on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-671947 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:37:04 +0000 Transcona Shannon 671947@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great discussion Mo! For me, being on YLF definitely makes me spend more money on fashion...BUT I spend it more wisely. I've certainly purchased more in the last year than probalby the last 5 years combined. But I feel I have a much more cohesive wardrobe than previously, enjoy wearing every single item I've purchased, have better quality items and am happy when I open my closet. I definitely see some items on others here and go "wow, I need to have that" when I never really thought about it before. But I usually reign those thoughts in once clarity returns. Mo on "Monkey see, monkey do?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/monkey-see-monkey-do#post-671933 Wed, 18 Jul 2012 15:31:16 +0000 Mo 671933@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I wonder about Queen Mum's absence correlating with her success of the one a month shopping plan. How much are we really influencing each other to want pretty new things? I know some things I see and just know they are 'me' immediately, like the convertible cargo jacket Rae posted that I had to track down and snap up. But I would have bought that the moment I saw it in the Victoria's Secret catalog, had she not shown it here first. Other things I find myself wanting and then later wonder exactly why I 'had to' have it. I don't consider myself easily influenced, either. I pretty much know what I like and what I don't. No scarf collection here, no boat shoes, no neon, floral pants, button downs, and so on. But at some level I must be suggestible. How much? And is it affecting my shopping/budget negatively? Or is it the opposite, giving me focus to narrow down exactly what I want and why? How do you see it? Are you spending more money because you're spending more time here? For those on SYC - is it hard to come here? (I remember shopping with Denise in Tahoe while I was on SYC and it was fun, not torture at all. Maybe watching her buy stuff was vicariously releasing the need for me?)