https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 18:10:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze/page/2#post-2112372 Tue, 07 Apr 2020 21:22:45 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2112372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the main objective of childhood is to grow more into yourself. As kids discover the world, they also discover their own abilities and likes. How wonderful that you are continuing this process, and are becoming more aware of and open to that bit of sparkle in you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze/page/2#post-2112371 Tue, 07 Apr 2020 21:20:56 +0000 Helena 2112371@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jenni, thank you; I studied Jung many years ago in university but perhaps it's time for a re-visit! Appreciate the suggestion! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze/page/2#post-2112355 Tue, 07 Apr 2020 20:48:42 +0000 Jenni NZ 2112355@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had another thought when I reread this post. It comes from the mention of “shadow side” or “shadow persona”. The author you are reading may have this in her book- I just clicked on the link you gave to the book- but this is a Jungian concept, the famous ?psychologist Carl Jung. I found this idea incredibly helpful when I went through the very difficult time in 2008 and on for a while when I lost my previous faith and was spending a lot of time journalling etc. As an extrovert I couldn’t understand why I had withdrawn so much into myself but a friend ( ironically from a different Christian tradition to the one I had left) explained about this. And somehow that thought has really made me feel more integrated as a person. And my clothing can reflect it, a bit like Angie’s “emotional dressing”. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze/page/2#post-2112105 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 21:35:28 +0000 Style Fan 2112105@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, that was an interesting read!&nbsp; I also found the comments and feedback amazing.&nbsp; Our clothing and style choices mean more than providing protection from the elements.&nbsp; So much is communicated about oneself through fashion.</p> <p>Lots to think about here.&nbsp; I have found myself becoming more and more drawn to classic, simple styles.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze/page/2#post-2112104 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 21:34:23 +0000 Sal 2112104@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>SarahD8</b> - that resonates with me too.&nbsp; I follow two youtubers with a very minimalistic neutral style.....love watching their capsule wardrobes.&nbsp; Then I go back to mine and it is quite different - more colour, pattern and less versatile - but more fun and definitely more me!!</p> <p><b>Helena</b> - some really interesting comments by Jenni and by Gryffin which I think consolidate what your own thoughts are.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze/page/2#post-2112059 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 17:27:41 +0000 SarahD8 2112059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>torontogirl</b>, this post really resonated with me. Every time I open up my Pinterest fashion/style board I have to laugh at myself because half the images are pleasingly organized, minimalist travel wardrobes and half are kitchen-sink outfits featuring 4 different fair isles and multiple plaids. Hard to square the two! Yet, until/unless I do I'm dissatisfied with my self and my style.</p> <p>I realized recently that I really need to let go of obsessing about wardrobe numbers. Numbers-minimalism doesn't fit my style very well, keeps me obsessed with theoretical clothing items (if only I had an imaginary top that could do the job of two of my actual tops!) rather than grateful for what I have, and is not my sustainability strategy (my sustainability strategies are shopping secondhand and, ideally, keeping things for longer than average).</p> <p>But, your post prompted an important insight for me. Like you, I am a systematizer. So, I have got to find a way to allow myself to systematize that *isn't* all about numbers. Hmm.&nbsp;</p> <p>Anyway, I found your post just fascinating, so I hope you will keep us updated as you explore these concepts more. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze/page/2#post-2112044 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 16:17:28 +0000 Helena 2112044@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gryffin, as usual you just nailed it. I love this concept and will give some thought to what this looks like in clothing and in life. Xoxo</p> <p>Thank you, Becky! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2112025 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 15:12:05 +0000 Becky 2112025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is very profound and thought-provoking, TG. Allow the sparkle to show now and then! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2112022 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 15:09:09 +0000 gryffin 2112022@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>TG your thoughts really resonate with me. You’re describing a concept used in interior design “a sequence is spaces” if you’ve ever read “A Pattern Language” by Christopher Alexander. The concept is there needs to be a sequence from the most rigid and formal in the entry and public spaces to the relaxed, intimate, idiosyncratic , personal and quirky. That you need to be allowed into the heart of the space to appreciate all the facets. But only the intimately connected will see more than the formal areas. This was used to great effect design wise in the movie “the age of innocence”. I based not only my home design but my wardrobe on this concept. We understand it intuitively. Who sees us in sleepwear, without grooming or literally naked. But it’s the same concept with dressing. Like Jane Eyre being compared to a drab gray bird plain and unexciting until she takes flight and for a moment one sees a brilliant of crimson. We hide our most precious and vulnerable parts to be shared with only people we love and trust. Like Ursula LeGuin’s Ged, we know it’s dangerous to share “our true name” because it gives others power over us. I look at giving that glimpse to others as a gift - a gift merited by trust and love, to share all the facets of your deepest self. We are large. We contain multitudes. Sparkle girl, even if only you see the sparkle. After all, who is it for but you!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111985 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 13:03:37 +0000 Helena 2111985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks everyone for your kind and wise comments, and I have read them all but currently <b>Jenni's wise words</b> have rendered me a bit speechless (in a good way) and Jenni, how you have the mental capacity to make such an incisive comment with all you've got going on right now is completely beyond me, but thank you for it.</p> <p>I'm speechless (irony alert - here I go) because the truth is I have no idea where Helena is in all this *cue violins*</p> <p>Have any of you gotten in that spiral before? Where you're so saturated in trying to work out what anyone and everyone else would suggest that you actually don't know which voice is yours and which is someone else's? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111982 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 12:49:33 +0000 Laura 2111982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is an excellent analysis. Over time, the work is to integrate all of these personas. And that includes the "shadow side." Maybe you need to add her here. Who would she be? As I wrote last year when I was exploring my alter ego on my blog -- I dance with my dark side, but I never let her lead! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111958 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 09:11:19 +0000 Jenni NZ 2111958@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I found this very interesting. One thing bothers me about it which you may be able to clarify: your 4 personas/role models/inspirations or whatever they are: is it only their clothing you are looking to be inspired by? Because I think you need to be inspired by Helena, no-one else. Helena is the person who merges all of this into one, and she is absolutely allowed to have some inconsistencies. We all do! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111954 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 07:27:31 +0000 Liesbeth 2111954@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting. As a fellow thinker and categorizer, it's hard for me too not to oversimplify, and to leave some room (for what I call my intuitions). Yet, I keep finding it hard to determine if a piece of clothing is perfect for an underrepresented part of me of if it's just something for a fantasy part of me. My current approach to this is mostly trial and error: online shopping and being able to try stuff on multiple times in your safe home environments helps a lot there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111952 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 06:13:15 +0000 Jessikams 2111952@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting repercussions for the closet too. I tend to think “I have too much stuff and it doesn’t all fit together... I could get by with less if I could just stick to one style/ one palette/whatever.” But I can’t! Love diversity of silhouettes, love sparkle..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111946 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 04:04:28 +0000 Anonymous 2111946@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love this post. Angie and YLF have brought out my daring and sparkle side with the encouragement I have received. I came thinking I had to develop a classic and subdued style and still sometimes like to dress that way but have discovered color and pattern and sparkle and find that they make me happy and life more fun. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111936 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 03:00:10 +0000 Jaime 2111936@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting and thought provoking post! The four icons do have something in common and perhaps that is your core style - although it is more of a know it when I see it situation. Would you feel awkward if you wore a Reese's outfit, which albeit pink, is still classic and ran into an old teacher or boss? What if you were wearing Jennifer's with your in-laws? I guess I am looking for the boundaries . But that is just thought experimentation. I don't see why you have to be perfectly consistent all the time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111915 Mon, 06 Apr 2020 00:24:40 +0000 Helena 2111915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Carol, I think that's what I've got to do - and I think that's probably why I like the icons I've chosen - because they are all essentially classics, but each brings a different spin to it.</p> <p>I definitely need to study Kate's use of colour more - although I think she's warmer and a bit softer than me, she does tend towards the cool colours I wear well! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111903 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 22:16:11 +0000 CarolS 2111903@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting read. Thanks so much for sharing your insights. Do your style personalities ever mingle? I don't know your style well enough to know this answer: Do you bring your playful side to your classics, for example -- or to your Angelina Jolie side? I think of Kate in classic styles but often bold colours, or a column of moody black with an acid green tote bag. Would you want to?&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111890 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 21:44:11 +0000 Anonymous 2111890@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Opals are nice too Actually they're more interesting than diamonds cause they're iridescent! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111888 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 21:37:02 +0000 Helena 2111888@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha, suntiger - subdued sparkle ... more opal than diamond, let's say </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111884 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 21:18:48 +0000 Anonymous 2111884@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yaas to honoring all facets- though that version of "sparkle" looks very classic to me :)<br /> I guess mine would be:<br /> Minimalist- home and formal work versions<br /> Sunset Bombshell-athlete, boho, work, and fun dressy versions (fire elemental)<br /> Earthy Sophisticate-boho and work versions (wood/earth elemental)<br /> Mermaid-swim, SUP (water elemental)<br /> Ideally also a metal aspect too (gold/copper) for formal wear- but that's not my life!<br /> Mahogany Ethereal mixes the earthy, sunset, and metal- Queen Ethereal mixes earthy, mermaid, and metal </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111879 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 20:21:05 +0000 Sal 2111879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great read Helena - and I do understand what you mean.&nbsp; Maybe sparkle could be in your gear or casual clothes when you are around the kids (eg a pink casual jacket or a fun weekend tee).&nbsp; And it is good to nurture all aspects of your personality.</p> <p>For a while I saw my wardrobe as<br />- Classic (work)<br />- Sporty (weekend and casual)<br />- Boho (summer holiday)<br />- Bombshell (evening wear)</p> <p>It is still a bit like that although less boho right now...... and I do have these different aspects to my personality as well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111874 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 19:30:43 +0000 Gigi 2111874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ooh, so glad you discovered the younger part of yourself! I think most, if not all, of us have that little girl inside that didn't get everything she needed when she was younger. Now we have a chance to nourish that part.</p> <p>I noticed a similar part within me, and it had its own little style journey to "catch up" to the other parts. For a time, I really enjoyed wearing sweaters with little hearts and stars and the like. And I went through a pink phase. And then I went through my ring phase, where I bought several rings with cute hearts and butterflies and the like.&nbsp;</p> <p>As I took time to nurture this part, it "calmed down" a little bit, and now I don't need to cater to it as much. But every now and then I will have a strong desire for some cutesy thing or other, so I do my best to listen to that and continue to give the little girl inside what she needs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111873 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 19:02:55 +0000 Helena 2111873@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks everyone for your thoughtful responses!</p> <p>Christe, that is a FAB category!</p> <p>Barbara, oh, I can be SUCH a bore!! No wonder poor Sparkle gets a little annoyed sometimes And yes, it's totally me putting ridiculous 'good mom/good wife' expectations on myself, too.</p> <p>Lisa, yes - that is the dilemma from a practical perspective - for me, I'm hoping the 'natural habitat piece will help' - so maybe outwear to fit the 'minimalist bodyguard' vibe, or accessories for the 'sparkle' - but I think the classic foundation should keep things somewhat cohesive? And yes, awkward moment putting Jenn and Angie beside each other haha!</p> <p>Nemosmom, yes - this is it! The book is called Faith by Sharon Salzberg. She gets into the concept of 'making space' several times. It's definitely applicable to any open-minded belief system I think, although she is Buddhist. I'm finding it an excellent read. Here's a link the a description:&nbsp;</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/fai"></a></p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/faith/">https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/faith/</a></p> <p>Thanks Slimcat!</p> <p>RunswithScissors you nailed in 100%: <i>"the tension between the unfiltered self (which responds to what sparks joy) and a desire to influence how one is perceived (catering to cultural bias)"&nbsp;</i>and I wish I knew the balance but I know for sure, I let the expectations and cultural bias bit bully the sparks joy bit way too much. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111870 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 18:46:03 +0000 ChristelJ 2111870@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>What a thoughtful and wise analysis. So glad you have decided to give space to all your various identities. I love what you said about honoring the value of each part. For those of us who enjoy expressing ourselves through style it is especially important. I'm rooting for the Sparkle to continue to assert herself.<br /></div><div> I relate very much to your categories of "natural habitat" because I organize my wardrobe by activity, and the very different personalities that show up while doing those activities. These days, I have a new category of activity which is "stay at home entertainment dressing" which refers to the effort to amuse myself with nowhere to go... </div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111868 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 18:32:40 +0000 Barbara Diane 2111868@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this post. So much to think about. I think I have become more boring due to the parts of my personality I have tamped down. Especially since I got married and had kids. Do to what was in my head, not anyone else. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111866 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 18:25:18 +0000 Anonymous 2111866@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That was a fun and interesting read ! &nbsp;I am nodding in recognition of editing out and stamping down parts of your style persona&nbsp;in the attempt to minimalize a wardrobe. I've done it a lot, and maybe it's because I don't have a clear understanding of what those personalities are. &nbsp;As a Gemini, I am predisposed to being all over the place anyways &nbsp; &nbsp;Making room for all the parts is tricky, because one can end up with a bunch of stuff that works only in certain "groups/parts" and a wardrobe can look like a mishmash - ahem, &nbsp;mine. &nbsp; &nbsp;As an aside, I'm not sure how Jennifer and Reese will feel about having Angelina in this group &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111863 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 18:14:30 +0000 nemosmom 2111863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Love your analysis here (as always)! I had a chuckle at this, <i>"you can try to get rid of a bit of yourself, but that pesky bugger will keep showing up regardless"</i> - YES!!!&nbsp; It makes SO much sense. We all (ok, maybe not everyone, but I know *I*) feel like we (I) have to adapt your personality a bit in various social situations... with varying degrees of restraint. Why wouldn't your clothes need to adapt a bit, too? I know I have a handful of pieces I consider my "armor" - I wear them when I know I'm going into a social situation where I might feel more vulnerable. </p> <p><div>Making a point to honor and make space for these different sides of your personality can not only help you shop smarter, but control churn (I would think)...</div><div><br /></div><div>OK - I must know - what's this Buddhist book? :D<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111858 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 17:54:16 +0000 slim cat 2111858@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great analysis - agree with going neutral colors/outfits in some situations and wanting to be all special and colorful in some shadow persona. <br />Light heather grey color is my fav color at home which means <br />( according to some article ) neutral/not taking any sides/calming<br />( or something like that ). Gotta figure out my shadow persona some day - thank you for inspiration! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/making-room-for-all-the-parts-of-me-long-navel-gaze#post-2111856 Sun, 05 Apr 2020 17:41:45 +0000 Runs With Scissors 2111856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This resonates for me as well -- for me I think it comes from the tension between the unfiltered self (which responds to what sparks joy) and a desire to influence how one is perceived (catering to cultural bias).&nbsp; Where is the middle ground? </p>