https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 21 Apr 2026 15:17:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066469 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 23:42:01 +0000 The Cat 2066469@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss.</p> <p>You ask for suggestions, and here are a few from me:<br /> ● Play your favorite music.<br /> ● Buy your favourite flowers.<br /> ● Take walks in beautiful parks (or similar places) daily or as often as possible.<br /> ● Be together with children, even ones you don't know from before, perhaps children you meet in the park. Children have an amazing ability to look on the bright side of life, and their fun comments and zest for life might very well make your day a little brighter.<br /> ● Wear clothes you like and feel comfortable in. Be aware that totally black (or other dark or neutral) outfits might look and feel depressing. Try wearing scarves in light or bright colours, e.g. peach, lilac, turquoise or light green.<br /> ● Wear lipstick and/or nail polish in a visible colour. :-)<br /> ● Last, but not least, learn about the Bible's reliable and comforting promise of a bright future where we will have the opportunity to be reunited with our loved ones in paradise here on earth. You can read about it here: <a href="https://www.jw.org/en/" rel="nofollow">https://www.jw.org/en/</a> And you are welcome to PM me if you want to know more.</p> <p>Wishing you joy, peace, strength, and a happy future. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066468 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 23:41:27 +0000 The Cat 2066468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry for your loss.</p> <p>You ask for suggestions, and here are a few from me:<br /> ● Play your favorite music.<br /> ● Buy your favourite flowers.<br /> ● Take walks in beautiful parks (or similar places) daily or as often as possible.<br /> ● Be together with children, even ones you don't know from before, perhaps children you meet in the park. Children have an amazing ability to look on the bright side of life, and their fun comments and zest for life might very well make your day a little brighter.<br /> ● Wear clothes you like and feel comfortable in. Be aware that totally black (or other dark or neutral) outfits might look and feel depressing. Try wearing scarves in light or bright colours, e.g. peach, lilac, turquoise or light green.<br /> ● Wear lipstick and/or nail polish in a visible colour. :-)<br /> ● Last, but not least, learn about the Bible's reliable and comforting promise of a bright future where we will have the opportunity to be reunited with our loved ones in paradise here on earth. You can read about it here: <a href="https://www.jw.org/en/" rel="nofollow">https://www.jw.org/en/</a> And you are welcome to PM me if you want to know more.</p> <p>Wishing you joy, peace, hope, and a happy future. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066465 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 23:34:30 +0000 Anonymous 2066465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it’s absolutely normal how you feel &amp; I am deeply sorry. It’s hard to lose a loved one expectedly or not. Your uniqueness isn’t going anywhere. It’s part of you. And your Mom always will be, too.<br /> I say dress for comfort atm. And just give yourself a reprieve.<br /> ((Hugs)) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066460 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 23:23:25 +0000 Jenni NZ 2066460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear this. It can take a long time to process the loss of parents. I wouldn’t try to force feeling interested in wearing the bright colours you have previously loved, the desire for that will pop back at some point. For now I would wear whatever makes you feel most soothed.<br /> The other thing, from personal experience, is that the grief may return any time after they have gone, when you have to decide what to do with their things. 20 years after Mum died and 9 years after Dad, it has been hard clearing their furniture and knick-knacks that I had brought into my home, and have only been clearing in the past year. So please be kind to yourself xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066451 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 22:52:22 +0000 cindysmith 2066451@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't really have any suggestions, just (((hugs))) and love </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066387 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 19:45:29 +0000 rachylou 2066387@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Yes. That’s a tremendous, overwhelming loss.</p> <p>I suppose I am a traditionalist and feel the old rituals are helpful... that they are a lifeline through fog and chaos and Herculean tasks. Traditions like wearing old clothes, or blacks, greys, lavenders, whites. And I suppose they have helped me feel better about myself because they are a definitive way to honour someone so important. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066381 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 19:18:55 +0000 Gail 2066381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sending a hug your way . Wear whatever you feel comfortable in right now. Take care . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066372 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 18:41:31 +0000 Cardiff girl 2066372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You poor thing.I wouldn’t worry about clothes at the moment,just clean and comfy.Some people find comfort from wearing something that their loved one wore.I wish you and your family much strength as you process your grief. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066350 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 16:53:53 +0000 kkards 2066350@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>i'm so sorry for your loss. no advice on how to find and bring joy back into your daily outfits, i think time is part of it, feeling back in control is part of it... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066344 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 16:34:55 +0000 JAileen 2066344@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m very sorry. It’s hard to lose a parent. My father died 16 years ago and I still miss him very much. My son has some of my father’s old clothes, and it makes me smile when I see him wearing them. I don’t have any advice on how to feel better. I think it just takes time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066341 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 16:23:58 +0000 Eirlys 2066341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My daughter has always said she will never feel really grown up until she loses myself and her Dad. Sadly the latter died in July and we all miss him very much.</p> <p>No one can really say or do anything that will take away the feeling of utter loss. It is a cliche ,but Time is the only solace.</p> <p>&nbsp;I also found the idea of wearing bright colours abhorrent. I resented the sun shining! I wore black and white for weeks. Then one day daughter and I decided to sort out my husband's pullovers. He had some lovely ones and daughter decided she wanted one and would get a Teddy Bear made from it. I helped her sort out the garments.</p> <p>After she had gone I decided to clear the muddle on the floor. My "favourite" was there and I cuddled it. As I did so a very large butterfly landed on my chest. It remained there while I struggled to draw the blinds and open the locked window. The butterfly flew off into my husband's favourite Acer section in the garden. &nbsp;</p> <p>Oddly from that moment I started to want to wear something brighter.&nbsp;</p> <p>Three weeks is too soon to expect to feel anything but shock and grief. Give yourself some time. Later, much later perhaps, you will find sort of resignation.I speak from experience.&nbsp;</p> <p>I am so sorry.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066334 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 16:06:45 +0000 Suz 2066334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nuancedream, I am so sorry. It is incredibly hard to lose a parent (at any age, no matter what their health) and you have not had much time to deal with this at all. Grieving takes time, it really does, and especially when a death is unexpected.&nbsp;</p> <p>I would allow intuition to guide your fashion choices now. On the other hand, if you feel as if your intuitive choices are bringing you down, emotionally, or you look into a mirror and feel you need a little pick up, I'd do as Inge suggests -- wear something in your mother's favourite colours.&nbsp;</p> <p>When I cleared out my mother's closet (a tough job), I kept a few items that reminded me of her at her best and I still wear a sweater set of hers from time to time. It's a comfort.&nbsp;</p> <p>Wishing you peace and recovery from the sorrow.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066325 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 15:45:28 +0000 Inge 2066325@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>I am so very sorry for your loss, nuancedream. Like other Fabbers have said, it's only been 3 weeks, please give yourself lots of time to grieve and process your emotions.</div><div>I also like the idea of perhaps wearing something that reminds you of your Mum, and reach for clothing/outfits that make you feel cosy. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I'm sending lots of love,</div><div><br /></div><div>Inge</div><div>xxx<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066318 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 15:19:45 +0000 Bijou 2066318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Nuancedream, I am really sorry to hear this news. Be kind to yourself and know that some days are going to be tougher than others. I found that it was only after about 3 weeks that the loss really hit home - so I imagine that your emotions are still very raw at this time. Grieve the loss of your Mother and stay close to friends and family at this time. </p> <p>For me, I found walking with my dogs in beautiful parklands, by the ocean and river very soothing and helped me feel connected to both my Mother (who loved to go walking with me) and also to my pets whose joy at being out and about was infectious. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066311 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:46:00 +0000 Janet 2066311@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m so sorry for your loss, and I completely understand. I don’t remember caring one little bit about what I wore in the months after my mother’s passing, so I think it’s natural to put that on a back burner for now. But I very much like Angie’s suggestion to wear something that reminds you of your mother in some way. Sending hugs to you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066310 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:45:21 +0000 Anonymous 2066310@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have my deepest sympathy. &nbsp;Three weeks is not long to process such a momentous event. &nbsp;I am not even certain your brain has fully grasped it yet. &nbsp;I agree with Angie. &nbsp;Do whatever you need to self soothe. &nbsp;If darker colors feel "right" to you at the moment, wear them. &nbsp;Time will help you deal with your Mother's death. &nbsp;The length of time is different for every single person. &nbsp;Best wishes. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066309 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:45:13 +0000 taylor 2066309@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry for this tremendous loss .</p> <p>Grief is an expression of love , give yourself all the time you need .<br />xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066302 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:15:11 +0000 Angie 2066302@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so sorry, <b>NuanceDream</b>. This is very sad, and we are never prepared to lose a loved one. Wishing you and your family strength.&nbsp;</p> <p>The grieving process and your feelings are natural. You have a lot to process and organize. 3 weeks is early days. </p> <p>Trust your intuition and wear whatever soothes you in some way. Perhaps they are items Mum would have liked? Or items that make you feel extra comfy and cozy. Take care, and much love. xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066301 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:08:05 +0000 Anonymous 2066301@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh no- I'm so sorry Ditto Lisa, don't force it if you're not feeling it. Would it help to wear things she would have liked? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066299 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 14:01:00 +0000 Anonymous 2066299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh - I am so sorry to hear this. &nbsp;3 weeks is not a lot of time to process something so profound. My thoughts are with you. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/losing-part-of-myself#post-2066293 Fri, 04 Oct 2019 13:52:02 +0000 nuancedream 2066293@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> Three weeks ago, my mother passed away.  Although her health had been on the decline recently, her passing was sudden and hit me like a 18-wheel tractor trailer. Of course, I am grieving quite hard and feel overwhelmed with the daunting task of dealing with her properties on the East coast.  I've lost the desire to wear anything even remotely unique or colorful, which has been a hallmark of my personal style.   Any suggestions on how I can feel better about myself and inject a little joy back into my look would be appreciated. </p>