https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 20:49:02 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557855 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 17:41:40 +0000 ironkurtin 557855@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What Angie said... Also, in seeing your pics, I feel like you broadcast tall. I had no idea of your height!</p> <p>I do tell people they look young, but ONLY in context. Especially if they have children, I have sometimes said "Goodnes,, you must use Dove!" (for women) or, "Did you have had them when you were thirteen?!" )for men) gets an appreciative response. Then I tell them how well-rested they look. Then we laugh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557841 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 17:33:40 +0000 Angie 557841@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rita, I have no further nuggets of wisdom. I just want to reassure you that dynamite comes in small packages - and you are dynamite.</p> <p>People can be so rude. It blows my mind. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557497 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 06:43:23 +0000 Aziraphale 557497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rita, you are lucky to look young, but I understand where you're coming from when you say sometimes you'd like to be taken a bit more seriously, thank you very much. I can relate. I am short and slim and probably look twelve from the back (not so much from the front anymore!), and when I was twenty-three and just starting out as a high school teacher, it bugged me to no end when people mistook me for a student! One time another teacher tried to send me to the principal's office. In his defense, I was dressed casually that day and I did look about sixteen.</p> <p>Over the years, I've learned to make up for my small stature by developing an aura of self-assurance. Sometimes it's real, and sometimes it's faked, but it works. A lot of it was simply learning to believe that I am every bit as capable and intelligent as anyone else in the room. When I stand up straight, look people in the eyes, smile, speak clearly and think before I answer, they don't seem to notice that I'm only five foot one. :-)</p> <p>ETA wearing frumpy clothes? What? No, you don't have to do that! But I do find it helps to dress like a grown up (as you already do, in a very stylish way!). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557449 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 06:02:52 +0000 AJ 557449@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also look young for my age, but geesh, saying that you're 12 seems ridiculous!! Maybe it was the puffer coat? I'm sure if they saw you in your business wear, they would not have said that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557438 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 05:53:02 +0000 catgirl 557438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just catching up now and I'm sure others have said this, but I think stature is a huge factor. We are short and that can look young when you see someone in a glance, at least. The secretary at DS's grade school mistook me for a 6th grader and yelled at me for being late a few weeks ago! </p> <p>I feel that what you were wearing is quite age appropriate and all your WIWs seem totally adult and modern to me! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557295 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 02:15:35 +0000 Jem 557295@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You have gotten a lot of fab advice and I don't have anything else to add. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are having this frustrating problem! I have never thought you looked "young" in your WIW's, just age appropriate, stylish and fantastic! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557171 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:18:03 +0000 Janet 557171@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is another case of people just not thinking before they say something! Rita, you're lovely and look younger than you are, but certainly not like a kid! </p> <p>And this is another one of those "grass is greener on the other side" things. Sigh. I think I looked younger than my age for approximately two minutes in my late 30s. I looked 18 when I was 15 and later shocked one of my first bosses when he found out he had hired me at the tender age of 22 to be his admin assistant -- he assumed I was in my mid to late 20s). Now I'm afraid of looking older than I am. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557123 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 23:10:03 +0000 tarzy 557123@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Do you know the "Alterations Needed" blog?<br /> She is tiny, and has great style!<br /> <a href="http://www.alterationsneeded.com/2012/02/how-to-find-a-blazer-jacket-that-fits.html#more-2619" rel="nofollow">http://www.alterationsneeded.c.....#more-2619</a></p> <p>I would need to know more about the situation, the specific comments, and who made them before I could attempt to analyze what's going on, but it sounds like your radar is up for a reason. I think telling a grown woman she looks "12" is not a compliment - it seems demeaning to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557079 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 21:53:22 +0000 nicoleb 557079@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I look younger than my age and am well aware that i have a baby face. And i love it. I wear cutesy styles and don't worry about how old people think i am. If someone says, "oh i thought you much younger!". I take it as a compliment! You think i'm still a teenager when i'm creeping closer to 30? That makes my day. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557048 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 20:58:24 +0000 Vicki 557048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, Rita, I always think you dress with such appropriate style and I would simply ignore those meaningless opinions that come our way. I love Dottie's response and MaryK's approach. You look very comfortable in your skin; don't let anyone make you feel otherwise. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557041 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 20:47:06 +0000 Elly 557041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rita, if it makes you feel better, last year I had a cashier at a grocery store pat all 5'8" of me with wrinkles and white hairs on the head and asked if she could help me find my mommy . . . . I hadn't been feeling well and made a silly mistake not handing her the right amount of cash and I could only conclude that she thought I was learning disabled! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-557039 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 20:43:01 +0000 elpgal 557039@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rita, I have been thinking about this and in my 8 years of grad school, the female academics/administrators that I thought were more senior always had more refined accessories, thoughtful/deliberate answers and mannerisms, did not stand for any BS from others and in general had more tasteful decor in their offices and no 'silly' pictures on their desks. None of them would be considered stylish dressers by YLF standards, so I can't say if their attire played a role in my perception. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-556995 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 19:30:46 +0000 goldenpig 556995@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Diana, good point about the hair and the specs. I also wear specs to make me look more professional. I suppose my long straight hair and lack of makeup is not helping matters in the age department. I do look older when I put my hair up so I should try that more.</p> <p>I wonder if lack of wrinkles also tends to make us look younger. Rita looks like she has a very smooth wrinkle-free face and so do you Diana. I also think that minority skin (Asian, black, Hispanic) tends to develop wrinkles a little later and that can contribute to the more youthful appearance. Someday we will be happy about that, I guess! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-556984 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 19:22:50 +0000 Diana 556984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rita, you definitely do not look 12! Although you do look youthful physically, I don't think either your clothes or your demeanor project the sense that you are juvenile in any way. </p> <p>I don't think I really look my age (32) although I am hesitant to say that I do not "dress my age" because I think in general that the whole idea of dressing for a particular age is a bit silly to be honest. The way I dress is perfectly appropriate for my job (postdoc) and station in life (unmarried, living in the city, no kids). That said, I do get mistaken for a grad student a lot, but I am pretty much used to it by now. When I was in my 20's it was annoying to be thought of as still a teenager but now, in my 30s, i find it kind of flattering that people think I'm still in my 20s. My funniest "looking younger than I am" moment came when I was around 28, and I got hit on by a 15 year old boy!</p> <p>I wear specs 100% of the time and never switched to contacts because the glasses definitely make me look a little older. Putting up my hair (or having it short) also helps... I am growing my hair longer again after a long while of having it short but at this point I don't think I'm being mistaken for a teenager anymore. When I'm doing something that requires looking more grown up, put-together, or professional, I think tailored pieces and heels, even low ones, help as well. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once/page/2#post-556971 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 19:06:03 +0000 goldenpig 556971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, I already did post them in a separate thread so I could save it to my blog:<br /> <a href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-younger-vs-older-than-your-age-importance-of-styling" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/welookfa.....of-styling</a></p> <p>Like Rita, I do get the "looking young" comment a lot, but it's nearly always at work. It bugs me there because I want patients to feel that I am experienced and have confidence in me. I do have a quiet voice and demeanor, so my persona may be a bit young too. So maybe I am subconsciously compensating by dressing in a bold and powerful way? Because my personality is sure not dramatic and attention-seeking!</p> <p>I don't get that comment on the weekends, mainly because I'm hanging out with other moms who are similar in age. I don't care if I look like a young MOTG--I probably do, since around here a lot of moms are in their 40's. I do understand Rita's annoyance and completely sympathize though. And I agree the "you look like you're 12" (which I also get) is insulting. I try to let it slide and give them the benefit of the doubt though because you really can't get angry at patients or strangers. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556965 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:56:35 +0000 Anonymous 556965@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry to tell you but in my experience you just have to get used to it...it aint ever gonna change. Mostly it has nothing to do with what you wear.<br /> I am little and was always thought to be much younger but unfortunatly it jumpedt from younger to older than my age. Even now that I look old I am still not taken seriously as an adult in casual encounters. Now instead of being the cute young one I am the cute little old lady.<br /> BUT, I must add that it is specifically casual encounts, anyone that gets to know me and alway in any job that I have had I am very much taken seriously. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556964 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:55:47 +0000 Suz 556964@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BTW, meant to add, Natalie, thank you for your so illustrative examples! I think Rita already does all the right stuff, but this is a fabulous resource for those who might have questions; I wonder if you should start a separate thread for the archives? It is a really good educational tool. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556960 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:53:20 +0000 Suz 556960@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If people at work are not taking you seriously, it is NOT because of your wardrobe. Your work WIW are always age appropriate, professionally appropriate, and super stylish! </p> <p>I think your MOTG outfits are the same. And while you DO look "youthful" you do NOT look 12. </p> <p>Most of the time, in my experience, it's envy talking when people speak that way. Particularly if they are your approximate age. They WISH they looked as young as you do. </p> <p>If the comment is coming from someone a lot older, it might suggest some wistfulness. And the intent to compliment. </p> <p>And if the comment is coming from a 15 year old boy, well, then maybe you have a different kind of problem! </p> <p>Seriously, if it's not in a work setting, you probably don't have a need to be seen as "mature" unless of course someone is questioning whether you have the right to sign something on behalf of your kids. I can see where that could be an issue. </p> <p>I do understand that it's upsetting. I have also had this experience from time to time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556949 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:35:10 +0000 krishnidoux 556949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So agree with Jonesy here! I too, when in my 30's, teaching at U, had to use some of my clothing to seperate from my students because I looked so young. I especially hated if someone said I looked like 12: it is like an insult almost. 20 is flattering, 12 means "irresponsible", "child", "immature". It's not my fault, I thought, if I have no brows because they are so blond, if my face is round, if I'm petite! </p> <p>In an effort to look older I painted my face like mad (too much), had my brows died regularly, and even, at one point, changed my hair colour to a much darker one. I wore suits, stayed away from mary-janes, flats, prints and feminine fringes. Well that was a mistake! First what does it accomplish? Not much. People still thought I looked young for my age. At 36, I was carded when buying a bottle of wine! </p> <p>Today in my forties, I am starting to see the "old" Krishnidoux appearing, and although I await in curiosity, and I catch myself sometimes longing for those days when my only worry was to make myself look older (as opposed to scouting for wrinkle fillers, having to maintain my haircut more often, hesitating before buying black as a neutral, banning all lipstick colours except sheer pink, going to bed early too often...). On the bright side I don't need to put out such a conscious "mature" image when teaching. I wear very little makeup and concentrate on the cuteness, the appropriateness, the flattering of my outfits. I do this because I'm coquette but really, I could go teach in very bland clothes and still be able to project authority. </p> <p>Anyway, sorry for the long post, all this to say: DON'T make yourself look frumpy, or wear outfits that don't match your personality, for the sake of looking more "mature". It is such a subjective perception anyway, it's not worth it. You are so pretty, and believe me, you do inspire respect from your image only. People who tell you you look like 12 are either jealous (yes, lots of those in the world. We may not want to believe it, but it doesn't make it go away nevertheless. People are selfish and if they feel insecure from your beauty, from your easy youth, they will say something to attack your self esteem just to make you insecure too. Not everyone is like this, but I'm just saying)... either they have no savoir-vivre and are so clumsy, that their distressing attempt of a compliment ends up being offensive. If you are sure that the situation is the latter, then it is not a bad idea to tell the person of their mishap. "I know that you want to compliment me and thank you for that, but 12 yrs old is simply too young of a reference here. It ends up being a bit insulting. I'm sure that's not your intention, though. Just be careful when you say things like that to people". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556920 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 18:07:46 +0000 Kristine 556920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mary has some good points. I think I'm often taken as younger, or with less authority, than I actually have at work. I make a point of wearing jackets most days. I also wear heels more than I used to (but I still love flats) and I avoid patterns like polka dots or florals, unless they're peeking out or balanced with a tailored blazer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556905 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:53:06 +0000 Anonymous 556905@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with MaryK 100%. I am not sure in what context you are not being taken seriously though. I had written something else but I'm not sure if it applies so I deleted it.</p> <p>Having met you, I do think you come across as very intelligent, witty, approachable and assertive. </p> <p>Also, I love it when people tell me I look younger, I'd take that rather than the opposite. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556903 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:51:25 +0000 MsMary 556903@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just re-read the OP and saw that this happened outside of work. My reaction to random people not at work is to just ignore 'em. Who cares if the people at the playground think you look young? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556900 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:48:11 +0000 biscuitsmom 556900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've gotten a lot of great feedback, so I have nothing more to offer except #6 is *absolutely* stunning!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556898 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:45:54 +0000 Jonesy 556898@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No, I definitely don't think you need to wear frumpy clothes to be perceived as older! I used to get this perception a lot when I first started teaching. My strategy was to always wear a tailored jacket. I think jackets do the best job of separating us from students, and the better-quality/more sharply-tailored, the better.</p> <p>Agree with MPJ about the puffer being a bit less "grown-up" than a tailored wool coat, FWIW, especially combined with your height and youthful face (I'm not saying it's right that your height should = youthfulness to people, just acknowledging that it's a reality).</p> <p>Also nodding my head along with MaryK about conveying hardcore authority at work :). I wear relatively wild clothes--nothing too frumpy--but I am really taken seriously by students and colleagues because I don't mess around and I am very confident in what I do. Not to imply that you are not, just saying that no, you don't have to dress frumpy to be considered mature or whatever. I'm sure it also helps that I am older now (44) and have some gray hair starting to show :). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556895 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:39:40 +0000 Lisa 556895@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm lucky enough to have met you and I would never peg you as 12. I do think it is frustrating when people think one is far younger than they are. I actually walked out of a nail salon one time in the middle of a manicure because the tech kept harping on me that I was "too young to be married." And I "had to still be in school." Um well not only am I married but I already have two degrees so I think it's safe to say I am done with school. Sometimes people should just be swatted! </p> <p>The only things I think can help one look "older" is structured outfits and minimal brighter colors. Neither of which I think suit your personality. You are fun and bubbly and your clothes reflect that. I enjoy your company! </p> <p>But when I look at a store of clothing not for my target age group (any teeny bopper store), those are the first two things I notice, lots of bright color and prints and lots of less structured pieces. To be honest though, I feel like you already do this with your style! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556890 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:30:35 +0000 Mamapicklejuice 556890@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do not have a good memory for other people's WIWs - sorry!!! - so forgive me if this is well known, but a few questions...are you fond of jackets for your workwear? They definitely read older than cardigans. Also, what is your makeup routine like? Can you sharpen that up at all (not meaning to layer on anything thick, just sharpen up the features).</p> <p>I find that petites look wonderful in very tailored items...I am thinking of Taylor here. :)</p> <p>The "problem" is that skinnies + boots + puffer has totally trickled down to even toddler sizes!! Are you comfortable with the quality of the items in that MOTG formula? Can you (or do you feel the need to) invest in a more luxe version of anything? (Puffer with faux fur trim, higher-end leather boots, etc?) Can you go without the puffer and invest in a tailored wool or cashmere coat instead?</p> <p>Forgive me if I'm off-base on anything. Just rattling off things from the top of my caffeine deprived head. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556871 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 17:17:35 +0000 MsMary 556871@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Treading very carefully here, because I haven't met you, but how is your speaking voice? Is it light? Do you indulge in vocal mannerisms like uptalk (making statements sound like questions)? From your last post it sounds as though you have your voice and persona well in hand. If that's the case, how about making it your business to consciously OWN the room every time you enter it. Good eye contact, firm handshake, perhaps deeper voice than you'd use in other contexts. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about intimidating students at this point. You do have a very approachable and youthful look and if people are thinking you look like a teen, you have a lot of room to be more authoritative before you get to to "too intimidating." So just experiment with what feels "intimidating" and see what happens.</p> <p>And also? Expensive clothing always reads older than cheaper clothing.</p> <p>Finally, I think you always look great but I can understand your concern and I really think the solution is to adjust your demeanor rather than your wardrobe. I dress like a clown half the time but I am serious. as. a. heart. attack. at work and believe me, everybody takes me seriously. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556780 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:25:08 +0000 Transcona Shannon 556780@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rita - I think you always look put together and age appropriate. Your clothes fit you very well, your combinations are thought out and put together in a manner that suggests maturity (in the good way!). I think being petite does lend itself to people assuming you are younger than you are but I wouldn't change how you dress at all. It's not too young and it's perfectly acceptable for your career and lifestyle. I suspect these two people meant to say something complimentary but their "manners filter" didn't work - I would just chalk it up to a really stupid thing being said.</p> <p>P.S. Sometimes I think puffer coats do petite ladies a bit of a disservice because they hide a womanly figure. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556774 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 15:17:33 +0000 modgrl 556774@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>People misreading my age at work erodes my credibility and can be extremely damaging to my role. I have to remain accessible and not intimidating to my students. Dressing in strict business attire would be inappropriate. Sometimes it can be difficult to find just the right balance but it can be easier at work too. I can immediately engage students and their parents in an intellectual discussion, taking the focus away from my appearance. But first impressions are hard to change so I have to be very careful. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/looking-my-age-id-like-to-for-once#post-556749 Sun, 04 Mar 2012 14:46:20 +0000 Makrame 556749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Deborah - i.e., you look great in your WIWs and you certainly don't dress too young so perhaps there is not much you can or need to do with regard to "looking your age".</p> <p>Do you mostly get comments like that from strangers? The only place where this misreading of my age would potentially bother me would be at work. </p>