https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 04 May 2026 07:14:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237727 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 22:57:29 +0000 medusa 237727@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There are so many great comments here, but I particularly wanted to thank AlaskaGirl for your thoughtful comments about social pressure. I really enjoyed them.</p> <p>Reading this has reminded me of a friend who usually wore her hair bobbed, and then went for a super-short pixie cut. She looked GREAT - it really suited her - but she immediately started growing it back out because her husband hated it. That's sad. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237678 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 21:26:03 +0000 taylor 237678@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jonesy, You totally hit it on the head.<br /> Anytime someone mentions older women with long hair it is always a celebrity....Well, Demi Moore has long hair and she's , blah, blah. Well Demi Moore has had 150 thousand dollars worth of plastic surgery and a team of stylists waiting in the wings to attend her every beauty need....If I looked like her I could pull that hair off too. She looks about 25....take that back BETTER than most 25 yr. olds because her total package knows no financial bounds.</p> <p>I am not saying that everyone over 40 should sport a pixie...I am saying: </p> <p> Women look far more polished and updated as they age if they keep the length of their hair at or above the shoulder...grey hair over 60 is optional But long grey hair on someone who is expressly stating "I like my long grey hair , It looks good to me and makes me feel and look young" is really not doing themselves any favors. And leaves them open to scrutiny<br /> Unlike some one who might say "I don't care what my hair looks like good or bad" </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237671 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 20:59:31 +0000 Anonymous 237671@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>let's see, I've had anything from pixies to really long hair.</p> <p>In terms of maintenance, I think all hair styles require a certain upkeep regardless of length. When I had my hair shorter, I could not go without a haircut for more than 3 weeks. If not, I would look unkept. I have natural wavy hair so when I sport a shorter haircut, I need to blowdry my hair everyday. </p> <p>I have a layered cut now, well past my shoulders. That requires maintenance too, coloring, frequent trims etc. </p> <p>I guess my point is that hair length has little or nothing to do with how put together you look. It is the condition of the hair what matters.</p> <p>In regards to how "acceptable" it is to have long hair past a certain age, I have strong opinions on the subject. I'm still in my 30's (36 to be exact), yet I refuse to go by some societal rule that tells me that when I turn 40 I'm supposed to chop my hair off, start wearing certain clothes etc. Why? </p> <p>I think we should stop being so hard on ourselves... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237611 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 19:55:25 +0000 Mae 237611@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Two comments:<br /> 1. I was married to someone for 12 years who insisted on long hair. The divorce freed me to cut it and I have never looked back. In fact, I keep cutting it shorter. :)</p> <p>2. I have a colleague who is at least 20 years older than me and sports the *same* long hair (mid-back) she has had forever. It's awful. Dry, uncut. If you're going to go long, at least make sure it's healthy. Cutting about 4 inches, and adding layers and some highlights would be so flattering! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237608 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 19:48:28 +0000 catgirl 237608@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have had my hair from crew-cut short to long enough to donate (which I did), and for me, short hair was far more high maintenance. I had to wash it every day or I looked like I'd been electrocuted. I had to get it trimmed every 4 weeks. I love short hair on many women (Halle Berry!), but just not on me.... Although I love changing up my hair, so I'll probably forget all this and chop it off again one day. :)</p> <p>Grey or not, short or long... I think what never looks good is dry, frizzy unhealthy hair of any length or color. Just as not all dyed/bleached blonde is "good blonde"! But in the end, I have enough trouble just worrying about me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237604 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 19:41:33 +0000 Steph 237604@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree about the actresses in the article I linked to--I was actually linking for the article, not the photos. It's unfair to point to actresses to make a point like this anyway, because they are generally so genetically blessed. </p> <p>I do think that there is another side to this coin, which is that not all women look good in short hair. I know that I do not. I have a wide jawline and longer hair is definitely best on me. I doubt my jaw will suddenly slim down when I'm 50, so I don't see myself in a chin-length bob or a pixie cut in 20 years. I guess if people want to whisper and point when I'm that age, they're welcome to do so. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237489 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 17:22:01 +0000 Maya 237489@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's what I like to hear! *cracks whip* :p </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237484 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:59:39 +0000 Queen Mum 237484@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>haha- I didn't read the article Maya- I just looked at the pictures ;-)<br /> and now I'm off to mail your package </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237482 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:56:34 +0000 Maya 237482@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree the examples in Steph's link aren't the most appropriate, but the substance of the article itself seems spot on.</p> <p>Whether or not a woman looks good in long hair has to do with her facial features, hair texture, ability to maintain a polished appearance, and confidence. Most women in my experience, old or young, have a hard time maintaining long hair. There are plenty of women my age--including myself, actually--who don't look good with very long hair. I mean, I'd look great it if I could consistently get it to look the way it did when I left the salon, but that never happens. Like most age appropriate arguments, I don't really get it. </p> <p>As for gray hair, I don't particularly care for it. Not as a matter of aging, but just because I think only a handful of women look good with gray near their face. That doesn't magically change just because it happens to be your hair instead of a shirt. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237481 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:51:40 +0000 Mo 237481@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think dyeing grey hair has more to do with aesthetics vs not wanting to look old. Random grey weaving through just ins't as appealing to the eye period - no matter how old the face it is framing. I have a friend who has all grey hair and has since her late 20's. It looks good because it is solid grey for one, and a nice silvery tone, second.<br /> As for the long hair, I still think it can be fine if it is of nice texture and style. I would argue that frizzy hair is the worst hair crime out there at any age. Scraggly ends comes in second </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237474 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:43:11 +0000 Queen Mum 237474@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Obviously women have the right to wear their hair however they want. My personal observation and opinion is that most women over 50 look better with shorter stylish hairdos. But that is just me... other's might find long hair on older women quite flattering.</p> <p>The problem I have with the pictures Steph linked to (no offense to Steph) is that each of these women is being shown freshly styled, made up, and dressed for formal occasions. Not only that, but these are women who quite possibly have had cosmetic surgery. And how do we know that they aren't wearing hair extensions? It just doesn't seem representative of the mean of society. I'm not sure you can take someone who has the advantage of abundant resources and use them as an example for the rest of us. I could look that great too if I had the top stylists, clothing designers, cosmetic surgeons, and personal trainers at my disposal. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237468 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 16:08:43 +0000 Jonesy 237468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, that's interesting. The article you linked to, Steph, has a slideshow of actresses who are over 45 and sport long hair. The author is holding them up as successful at wearing long hair. Looking at the pics, I noticed that they all have dyed hair and basically the same cut. I wonder if the problem with the first woman (in the NYT article) is that she has the gall to have long hair with GRAY in it, and a face that seems to be aging naturally to go along with it :)? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237465 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 15:56:53 +0000 Steph 237465@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just saw this article, commenting on the NYT piece, and I think she says it well:<br /> <a href="http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/who-says-middle-aged-women-cant-have-long-hair-2402323/#photoViewer=1" rel="nofollow">http://shine.yahoo.com/channel.....toViewer=1</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237462 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 15:44:05 +0000 Kate 237462@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was busy and didn't go on YLF all day yesterday (!) so I'm chiming in now. The article seemed very dis-empowering, like she felt so insecure about her personal choice that she had to write a whole article defending it. The bits about her relationship with her mother made me sad, particularly now that they're so public, and I really didn't like that she concluded by saying that men like it. As though that were the final say, or what she had wanted to say all along. I'm sure it's possible to write an empowering piece about long, graying hair, but this one wasn't it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237460 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 15:39:37 +0000 Steph 237460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree that hair is a personal preference, and I agree with Maya that it's sad how much women seem to want to criticize others for their choices. I personally hate hard-and-fast rules about what a woman of a certain age should look like. I also do think it's ridiculous that some women feel long hair makes them look younger. But if long hair makes them happy and makes it easier for them to look in the mirror every day, so be it. </p> <p>Angie, I'm really shocked that you don't know *any* men who prefer long hair on women. I know a lot of men who don't care, but I definitely know other men who prefer long hair, and those are men with ages that range from their 20s to their 60s. These aren't neanderthal men either; I know smart, well-educated, non-jerky guys who have this preference. Would I make my hair decisions to please any of them? Of course not. Do other women keep their hair a certain way because that's what their husbands prefer? Yes. Personally, I find that sad. I don't think there is anything wrong with a man having a preference for certain types of hair, but I do think it's sad if he discourages the woman in his life from branching out with a different hairstyle when she wants to. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237436 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 14:07:25 +0000 LoP 237436@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I loved reading this thread. Great points of view. </p> <p>Isabel: I laughed at your story so much!</p> <p>Hair is a matter of preference. I have seen women who look better in long hair cut their hair and seen women who should keep a pixie but have long hair. It's what one makes of it.</p> <p>I know a few people with great style and long hair, but only a few I can name of. One of my personal style&amp;professional idols is in her 50s and has long white hair. My best friend who had a really short pixie until her 20s had long hair since than and looks awesome. Her stylish Mom is in her 60s with long hair as well with bangs and coloring. Almost all the rest of the women I resonate with have shorter hair styles.</p> <p>My personal view is short hair is better for many reasons beyond a certain age and that age is not very old. Whenever I have long hair, I feel not put together and it takes me way more time to get dressed to look myself. I never look as effortless as I would like to. I have to put extra time into washing my hair and extra energy to keep it healthy. It just doesn't fit my lifestyle and my lifestyle is a big influence on my personal style. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237373 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 05:52:46 +0000 catgirl 237373@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, Jonesy - sounds like you took what I said exactly as I meant, and I appreciate that! Amazing how certain topics can trigger such interesting and diverse viewpoints... alll good food for thought. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237349 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 04:23:47 +0000 Jonesy 237349@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>AG, I really appreciate your comments. Somehow, for some people, it's like they'd rather be dead than actually look their age/look old. It's crazy to me. Of course getting old is hard, for a lot of reasons, but we can't act like it's not going to happen, or try in vain to stop the aging process. </p> <p>I also appreciate your link to Susan Butcher's pic. I do put energy into looking good and dressing in a way that suits me, but it's certainly not the driving force in my life! For many women, how they look is really secondary or low on their list of things that matter most to them. They would rather train train for the Iditarod, work 80 hours/week running a non-profit, work and go to school at the same time, etc. etc. So, who cares what their hair looks like? If they don't, why should I? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article/page/2#post-237293 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 02:47:09 +0000 Lisa 237293@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow lots of opinions here. I see two things, going gray, and going long. I've seen gray on women and it looks fantastic, then on others it washes them out. I think the shade of gray, just as shades of any other colors in say a top, it's the undertones of the shade of gray hair you get that determine if the gray flatters you or not. My hair is skipping gray and going right to white, so we shall see what that does for flattery or not on my pale skin. </p> <p>For length, the condition and thickness of the hair mean everything. I've seen older woman rock long hair (to the small of the back) but the hair was very thick and in perfect condition, blunt cut, all smooth, no straggler hairs to make it long. I prefer very long hair when it is thicker hair, then the hair looks full all the way around. For thinner hair, shorter is usually better as the shorter cut can add volume. But again, I've seen short hair look poor too, healthy hair I think is far more flattering than hair length or color can ever be. You can't beat the shine of healthy hair versus flyaways, and dullness of damaged hair.</p> <p>And there's the faceshape issue. Some face shapes can handle the elongation you get from long hair framing it, for other shapes, shorter layers are more flattering. As with most things, no one rule for all. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237194 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 00:50:03 +0000 Late Bloomer 237194@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think hair that is too long and never styled looks dumpy on most women at any age. Also the texture changes that were mentioned above make it harder to style long hair when you are older.</p> <p>I've found mine has more curl now and last time I tried to grow it out a bit it was totally out of control. So I've opted for a shorter hair cut that lets the curls add depth and texture instead of their being the enemy.</p> <p>I actually think too short hair can look really masculine on women after somewhere around 60. Their features aren't as fine anymore and I think that is why it doesn't work. </p> <p>Confession here. I got impatient and went into to a walk in haircut place to get a trim to get me to having a full color and cut in about a month. Horror of horrors, it is exactly the short hair cut I hate. Note I am cutting my head off of all photos I post till it grown out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237182 Sat, 23 Oct 2010 00:33:09 +0000 Kari 237182@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay, I am very much a short-haired girl myself, but I think that the condition of her hair looks good, and frankly, <a href="http://www.westchestermagazine.com/Westchester-Magazine/Westchester-Home/Spring-2010/In-The-Homes-and-Gardens-of-Dominique-Browning/">it's not even *that* long</a>. What bothers me is when I see women who have long hair and it is in very poor condition, or very scraggly.<br /> I've had a couple of long-haired friends &amp; roommates, one who quite literally could sit ON her hair, and she keeps it looking amazingly beautiful, healthy, and groomed. Granted, I usually think that very long-haired ladies would look better with shorter, more layered locks, but it's not *my* hair! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237156 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 23:38:15 +0000 Muncie 237156@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, you are spot on. Her hair looks fantastic, and if it were short, I would think it looks fantastic. Whatever she wants to do with her hair is up to her, and I support that.</p> <p>I've always had short hair. Either short short, or a chin length bob. As I'm getting older, I decided I would love to see what I look like with longer hair, so I'm in the process of growing it out. Mary Louise Parker and Holly Hunter are totally my hair icons at the moment. Also, as it's getting longer, I have come to adore the look of a big, thick, messy bun on the top of my noggin'. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237126 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 22:33:15 +0000 Isabel 237126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love Marly's point that this is more about her relationship with her mom than her hair !</p> <p>And Ms. Maven - you are so right !!!!!! Why is it bad to look old if that is what you are ??? RIght on !</p> <p>My great-grandmother-in-law was 98 when she died and she was the hippest, most stylish woman I knew !!! She would've loved this site. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237120 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 22:30:42 +0000 MsMaven 237120@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya and Alaskagirl have made some good points that I agree with. I frequently visit "the Land of Old Hippies and 60-Year Old Girl/Women" and these are my observations:</p> <p>1. No matter what my criticisms are, I need to keep them too myself unless I am asked for my advice. I seldom am. I cringe at some of the hair and clothes I see on otherwise beautiful women, however I also remember how I hate it when given unasked for fashion advice.</p> <p>2. Just to even things up, I hate to see older men who are partly bald or who have thinning hair pulled back into a scraggly, scrawny pony tail. Are they kidding themselves or do they think getting rid of the tail will take away their virility?</p> <p>3. What's wrong with looking old if we are old? I don't mean to encourage the wearing of baggy out of date clothes or a 1950's hairdo, but why must we fear criticism if we we present to the world the face and body of a person who is actually--gasp--old? I know--the economy would take another nose-dive if we all stopped buying hair dye and make-up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237039 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 19:46:45 +0000 catgirl 237039@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a complex issue. It reminds me of a friend whose mother said to him that she didn't care if he was gay, she just wanted him to stop "acting so gay". There's a certain component to that in our society with regard to aging; in other words, it's okay to be old as long as you don't look old.</p> <p>I think true female empowerment would mean that every woman could look and be the way she wants without being judged unreasonably. It is my choice to work on my external appearance, but for those without the time, energy, motivation, or interest, who cares? As long as someone is clean and appropriate, it's not my place to decide what they should do.</p> <p>I only recently realized women were "supposed" to cut their hair after a certain age in this culture. I try to see a person, not a "50-something year old with the wrong hairstyle for her age group". Self-improvement is a luxury to some extent, and although everyone can make an effort at any price point, it's certainly fine with me if they don't. </p> <p>Here;s a photo of Susan Butcher, who won the Iditarod several times and died a few years back. She was an incredible athlete, among other things - and yeah, she could have done a better job with her hair, but that would not have been "her". This is a very typical look for Alaskan women - for better or worse...</p> <p><a href="http://www.iditarod.com/learn/butcheralbum.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.iditarod.com/learn/butcheralbum.html</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237027 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 19:32:48 +0000 Marley 237027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have definite opnions on what kind of hairstyle looks good on women of any age - depending on their hair, face-shape, style, etc. but as far as this particular woman and the criticisms she gets for her hair length - I found myself thinking while I was reading the article "I don't really care!" The only suggestion I would have for her is that perhaps she should think about getting into therapy to deal with her mother issues! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-237020 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 19:03:28 +0000 KristineK 237020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Maya about the near-infinite number of things women seem to be able to find to criticize about each other... and I'm with Sparky regarding the "men like long hair" argument. I was enjoying the article until I read that paragraph.</p> <p>I've no problem with women of any age wearing their hair long or short. It makes me feel sad, though, when a woman who might prefer her hair short keeps it long because she's afraid she'll no longer be attractive to men if she doesn't, or when a woman who prefers her hair long cuts it off to avoid criticism from people who think she's not young enough to wear it that way anymore. For me, the aesthetic appeal of the look is less important than the motivation behind it -- who cares if everyone else thinks it looks great, if the woman who has to live with it every day doesn't like it or feels that it's just "not her"? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-236994 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 18:04:45 +0000 Sarah 236994@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have met men who prefer long hair, and when they told me that, I went straight away and got a pixie cut. One of them went so far as to say the reason I didn't have a boyfriend was BECAUSE of my short hair. I hate being told what to do with my own hair or body. I rarely use the word hate, but this is one instance where nothing else would apply. ;)<br /> But like Maya said, it's rude to stereotype any group of people. I am just attracted to a man who love me for me, and that's working out great. Some of my friends have husbands who have stronger than preferences for their hair, clothes, etc, and I just don't think that's fair. I don't have a right to tell anyone, even my husband what he can or can't wear or how he should do his hair.<br /> I believe women have the right to do whatever they want, but I do agree that MOST people don't look good with longer (than shoulder blade) hair. It's a lot of work and effort and the products it takes to make it look fabulous is out of reach of most of us. Even younger than middle age, quite frankly.<br /> I personally think the author would look *better* if her hair was a little shorter (well, like Taylor said) but it's her choice and I'm not going to criticize her or give my opinion unless she asks me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-236988 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 17:51:29 +0000 Barbara 236988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, LOL!</p> <p>Precious Hubbie and I are INDEED friends. Married 34 years, I have loved him for 38!<br /> And he ADORES my short hair. Like you said, style is a package deal! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/long-hair-on-older-women-ny-times-article#post-236986 Fri, 22 Oct 2010 17:48:57 +0000 MsMary 236986@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think she looks reasonably good, but I would sure love to see her "wash away the gray," as the Lady Clairol ads used to say.</p> <p>I'll admit, I'm 52 and am growing my hair longer than I've had it in quite some time. I think some older women can really rock longer hair -- Meryl Streep comes to mind, for example. But I do think you have to really stay on top of the upkeep -- regular color, and keep the cut in shape. Otherwise you look like you're stuck in a time warp. </p>