https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 04 Apr 2026 00:52:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding/page/2#post-1240280 Fri, 02 May 2014 21:51:01 +0000 pil 1240280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Mother of the groom and I talked this morning. She likes the jacket, commented on lace being on trend and thought it would be fine.<br /> BUT, she did comment that the bride would be wearing cream lace. I think the bride's family is fairly conservative and we are in the midwest. SO, I will be playing it safe and find something else. As I was lying in bed last night I got to thinking about how I didn't want to take a chance on being 'that' friend of the new mother in law. Along the same lines of LBD's comment about in laws and Echo's 'Old Hens' not letting go of even a perceived breach of etiquette.</p> <p>So many thoughtful responses from all of you, thank you!</p> <p>Now, as Suz pointed out, time to shop again! This jacket does come in navy..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding/page/2#post-1240236 Fri, 02 May 2014 21:16:06 +0000 texstyle 1240236@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wore a black dress to an early evening wedding last summer and was joined by not only many other attendees but the Mother of the Groom who also chose to wear a black dress. I wondered about it before hand too, but decided after YLF advice that it was fine. And it was *totally* fine.</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding/page/2#post-1240222 Fri, 02 May 2014 21:02:23 +0000 Gail 1240222@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yikes! I am planning to wear a cream lace dress to a wedding on Long Island in August. I guess I will ask my good friend who is the Mother of the Groom . I highly doubt that she would care at all but she will definitely tell me if she thought it would be a bad move. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding/page/2#post-1239601 Fri, 02 May 2014 06:58:58 +0000 Gigi 1239601@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, very interesting. I had no idea that this was such a hot topic! I had never heard of this rule before. FWIW, I grew up in northeastern Iowa.</p> <p>I will say that I clicked on one of the links in the Emily Post article that Echo posted, and the article I got seemed to go a little more in-depth about what was acceptable:<br /><a rel="nofollow" href="http://blogs.dexknows.com/weddings/2011/03/guest-wear-white-wedding/">http://blogs.dexknows.com/wedd.....e-wedding/</a></p> <p>It sounds to me like since Pil will be wearing a white (or off-white) <i>blazer</i>, that is OK. If the&nbsp;<i>dress&nbsp;</i>were white and the blazer black, that would be a different story. It seems that the prohibition is on all-white (or off-white, etc.)&nbsp;<i>dresses</i> and not on any white article of clothing. And the author does mention that this is more important in the South.</p> <p>Wow, Pil, we've created&nbsp;a bit of a hornet's nest for you now! Aren't you glad you posted? ;^) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding/page/2#post-1239559 Fri, 02 May 2014 05:20:09 +0000 rabbit 1239559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Clearly it really depends on the kind of wedding, and the kind of folks that will be there. &nbsp; &nbsp;The last three weddings I went to involved: &nbsp;the wedding party&nbsp;learning and leading&nbsp;a very earthy&nbsp;Brazilian dance to get down to, &nbsp;everyone including the wedding party disrobing and running into the surf naked on a secluded beach, &nbsp;bridesmaid's gowns cut low to showcase full back tattoos.... there were older relatives at these events too.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think getting a sense of vibe and cultural traditions to be respectful&nbsp;makes perfect sense, but on the other hand, most couples want &nbsp;their friends and family&nbsp;to be comfortable at the wedding. &nbsp;Is someone at the wedding&nbsp;who is more fixated&nbsp;on jacket color than the fact that you came to help usher in the union&nbsp;really someone whose opinion you should give weight to?</p> <p>The assumption that there will be professional photographs of the general crowd (rather than just the bridal party) and that someone might be noticeable in these casual unposed shots, is something that might apply to a small subset of weddings. &nbsp;Are guys supposed to avoid white shirts? I get that there are&nbsp;regional and probably economic differences at play here.</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239556 Fri, 02 May 2014 05:04:55 +0000 LindaSoCAl 1239556@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, interesting discussion. I was brought up with the rule of no white, no black clothes at a wedding (Midwest U S). Then I attended a wedding in Mississippi in the 1990's, and every female in the groom's family wore either black or white! Certainly cream is no problem in Southern California. So I think it's more generational even than regional. If it was me, I would ask. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239512 Fri, 02 May 2014 03:36:24 +0000 MsMaven 1239512@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would wear the jacket. &nbsp;I've worn a beautiful off-white to a wedding before, with a black and gray skirt. &nbsp;I always thought the rule was not to wear an entire white outfit or dress, but white or cream with a color is okay. &nbsp;</p> <p>My SIL wore a white dress and white jacket to my son's wedding. &nbsp;I don't think anyone minded. &nbsp;Some of the women guests were wearing rather daring dresses that showed too much--I kind of minded that. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239490 Fri, 02 May 2014 03:22:38 +0000 lyn* 1239490@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'd turn into a bridezilla if someone showed up in jeans.... but I think solid off-white cream should be okay :)</p> <p>At a Chinese wedding, the colour to avoid is blue. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239479 Fri, 02 May 2014 03:15:25 +0000 Missey 1239479@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love the jacket and think it is very appropriate for a wedding...dressy and festive!&nbsp; I wold love to see it with a bright dress for a wedding though, like coral, cobalt, or orchid! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239467 Fri, 02 May 2014 03:07:20 +0000 kellygirl 1239467@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow! I never knew this was an issue. I just assumed you weren't suppose to show up in a wedding dress! Glad you asked and let us know the outcome! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239464 Fri, 02 May 2014 03:05:57 +0000 Diana 1239464@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(Thinking about this some more). I think perhaps the reason wearing white to a wedding makes me uncomfortable is not because I might upstage the bride. It's more that I don't want to upset someone's old fashioned grandma, kwim? Also, I have a lot of Chinese relatives and so does J. Traditionally, white is a color of mourning in Chinese culture so traditional folks think its bad luck to wear it to a wedding. It's a pretty modern change that even Chinese brides wear white dresses at all. The traditional dresses are "lucky" colors like red or gold. For the record, at my wedding, my grandma told my mom that she was not allowed to wear a beige dress (not clear if it was because it was unlucky or just a drab color) but approved a gold one. Grandma herself always wears red to weddings (which in itself might be controversial as it is supposed to be the brides color) because she thinks it'll bring good luck to the couple. So you could look at it that way too with your white jacket (ie honoring or wishing luck to the bride and groom). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239459 Fri, 02 May 2014 03:02:44 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1239459@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><u>My common sense agrees 100% with Angie</u>, but I grew up in the Deep South, where someone will smile all sweet, look you in the eye,&nbsp;and say "well isn't that a&nbsp;precious dress?" and then proceed to stab you in the back the moment you turn it. &nbsp; And keep on stabbing. &nbsp; For <u>years</u>. &nbsp;&nbsp;Without naming names (*coughexinlawscough*), I have noted that certain people have never been willing or able&nbsp;to ever, EVER&nbsp;give it a rest, when it comes to a perceived breach of wedding guest etiquette.</p> <p>I would ask. &nbsp; Especially if the wedding is in Mississippi or Louisiana.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239428 Fri, 02 May 2014 02:43:15 +0000 Karie 1239428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, I simply must throw my two cents into the ring. I saw Pil try this blazer on in Boston. Yes, it's gorgeous and&nbsp;eye catching, but she's wearing it with a black dress, and the blazer isn't white, it's cream. I would wear the outfit without hesitation. But to be on the safe side, ask your friend - especially if she will give you an honest answer.</p> <p>Just don't wear a brightly colored, strapless jumpsuit instead! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239396 Fri, 02 May 2014 02:09:34 +0000 Echo 1239396@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, that is very possible. Additionally, keep in mind that I live in a very, very traditional, conservative (perhaps backwards)&nbsp;area. The "old hens" at weddings absolutely DO talk when a guest wears white. Then again, it often takes a year for fashion to reach this far inland, if at all, so perhaps this area simply hasn't received the memo! I'd be interested to hear what Thistle has to say, given that she is from my state (though a larger city).</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239385 Fri, 02 May 2014 01:52:13 +0000 Angie 1239385@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echo, I'm having a hard time understanding your reasoning, so I'm boiling it down to strong regional differences. FWIW, at our wedding 18 years ago - people wore white (similar to&nbsp;Aida's gorgeous outfit), and the occasional white dress was spotted too. It was very clear that I was the bride. It didn't occur to me that our guests were being&nbsp;rude, and drawing attention away from me. I would have found it disrespectful if they pitched up in jeans.&nbsp; </p> <p>Pill, we haven't really helped you at all. Just made things more confusing I'm afraid. If you are in ANY doubt, find another outfit to wear. I would hate you to feel uncomfortable, especially when your outfit is soooooo stunning. xo</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239359 Fri, 02 May 2014 01:26:07 +0000 Isis 1239359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would wear it.&nbsp; I haven't even heard of this rule, so perhaps it is regional.&nbsp; I cant imagine that this outfit will outcompete the bride in photographs; it's quite different than a bridal gown....</p> <p>But then I wore a simple white skirt, an embroidered Mexican blouse and red huaraches to my wedding.&nbsp; I can't even remember what the guests wore, but I do remember that it was pretty fun! </p> <p>And I've been known to wear white shoes after Labor Day....</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239228 Thu, 01 May 2014 23:44:19 +0000 viva 1239228@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such an interesting thread, and there are lots of strong opinions here! </p> <p>I am with Angie on this one. I'm not really a maverick but I am very much in favor of loosening socially binding rules, which I guess plays a big part in my opinion here. Weddings now are such creative events -- if they can evolve, why can't our thinking about what is appropriate for the guest to wear? I would wear this outfit without batting an eye -- or calling a soul. It's nothing like a wedding dress, it's completely demure, and it's lovely. I honestly cannot see it competing with any bride.</p> <p>Who writes these rules anyway? My sister got married for the <u>third</u> time a year ago (we think this is finally the one) and she wore a full-on bridal gown (no train or headpiece though). We don't even get along and I admired that she did it. It's 2014! We should be freer to make personal choices.</p> <p>As an aside, when another sister of mine died six years ago, I wore a kelly green sleeveless silk dress to her funeral, because I knew she would have loved it -- and I got up to deliver a reading wearing it. I hope someone does something like that at my funeral too.&nbsp; :)</p> <p>Okay. End of rant. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239209 Thu, 01 May 2014 23:25:05 +0000 Aida 1239209@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it looks fabulous! I would wear it. But if you really are unsure then asking is a good course of action. I have not been to many weddings, but FWIW the one I went to last spring (on the cruise) I wore a lot of white and it was perfectly acceptable. </p> <p>EDIT: This is what I wore. Pardon the silly photo, that's all I've got access to right now ^^ Hubby is on the right and brother-of-the-bride in between us.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239198 Thu, 01 May 2014 22:55:57 +0000 Echo 1239198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Angie, actually yes. Generally speaking, a person doesn't want to wear anything that is "too" anything to a wedding because the day isn't about that particular guest. So too sexy, too low cut, too short, too loud, too tight, etc. are all frowned upon and will likely be talked about because they are in poor taste.</p> <p>But in photographs, nothing draws the eye like white or cream. That, specifically, is why people say that wearing white "competes" with the bride. It isn't that a guest looks like a bride or would be mistaken for a bride, but rather that white is such an eye-catching colour. The person wearing white will stand out, even if their outfit isn't bridal at all, and most people don't want to be<i> that </i>person. Bright colours are not the first things that draw the eye unless it is a sea of black. Among varied outfits, white is always what is noticed first.</p> <p>There are photos that demonstrate this beautifully, but of course I cannot find them.&nbsp; </p> <p>Emily Post on this issue:</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="http://blogs.dexknows.com/weddings/2012/04/guests-wore-white/">http://blogs.dexknows.com/wedd.....ore-white/</a></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239192 Thu, 01 May 2014 22:38:05 +0000 pil 1239192@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So many good points! This brings me back to my own wedding 29(!) years ago. The girlfriend (uninvited) of one of the band members was quite a spectacle on the dance floor in her tight, brightly colored strapless jumpsuit.<br /> I don't have any photos of her!</p> <p>So many details to keep in mind and I'm not even planning the event It will be a mid-morning wedding/brunch reception. The photograph aspect is something I hadn't considered either.</p> <p>Have no fear, this friend will not hesitiate to tell me not to wear the jacket! Or if she thinks the bride or bride's parents may have an issue. As far as black at a wedding, friend/mother of the groom wore a black dress to another friend's daughter's wedding so I don't see that as an issue. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239189 Thu, 01 May 2014 22:34:58 +0000 Angie 1239189@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echo, if it's about drawing attention away from the bride, then <i>any</i> eye-catching dress or outfit is going to do that don't you think?&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239186 Thu, 01 May 2014 22:26:22 +0000 chadya 1239186@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>it's a lovely jacket but to me it doesn't go with the dress.&nbsp; How about finding something to go with the jacket, or another jacket for the dress.&nbsp; Too much contrast with the feeling and fabric of both.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239166 Thu, 01 May 2014 21:51:05 +0000 missvee 1239166@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look sensational, and I would say it's totally appropriate for a wedding. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239161 Thu, 01 May 2014 21:44:50 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1239161@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I dunno, the cream is really cream, not white or off-white, which would make it totally fine to me when paired with a non-white dress. It's the black dress that would make me hesitate - I tend to avoid solid black for weddings (an evening black-tie event would be the exception, I suppose). </p> <p>This must be a culturally/regionally extremely variable thing, given everyone's responses. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239118 Thu, 01 May 2014 21:08:58 +0000 Echo 1239118@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Keep in mind that if you ask, even a best friend, they will feel obligated to tell you it is okay, regardless of how they actually feel. Asking and putting someone on the spot is not the solution, IMO.</p> <p>And I will have to take up the old fuddy-duddy baton with MaryK here, because the combination of cream and lace makes this inappropriate to me. And we aren't just talking about outshining the bride. In photos - even casual photos of the reception - a person in white stands out and your eye is immediately drawn to them. When someone else is wearing white or cream, especially on top, the viewer's eye is drawn to all the bright spots in the photo first. It is drawing attention to yourself in an unnecessary way and is thus rude, IMO.</p> <p>Of course this combination looks fab and will be appropriate for another event. The issue isn't looking like a bride, but being the other white spot in pictures or when someone scans the room. People WILL talk, even if it is only old fuddy-duddys like me and MaryK. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239083 Thu, 01 May 2014 20:34:00 +0000 Angie 1239083@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No worries, Mary. You have to say it how you see it.&nbsp;</p> <p>The way I see it, there is truly no way to outshine the bride unless you wear a wedding dress too. I do find the "never wear white to a wedding" awfully extreme. And this is over a black dress with Pill's bright red specs.&nbsp;I've worn a white shirt and black skirt with red shoes to a day wedding - and felt 100% appropriate.&nbsp;</p> <p>Pill, ask your Mother of the groom&nbsp;friend the question for sure - just so that YOU have peace of mind.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239078 Thu, 01 May 2014 20:29:50 +0000 carambola 1239078@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sounds like you're all set to ask. Just wanted to say you look amazing! Love the cream lace over black with gold shoes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239071 Thu, 01 May 2014 20:25:34 +0000 texstyle 1239071@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Because you plan to wear it over black I would never have given it a second thought (myself) but I guess there are people who might feel it is inappropriate. But then again, wouldn't those same people maybe think black is inappropriate for a wedding? </p> <p>Me? I'd wear it without reservations unless I knew the wedding colors were ivory and black specifically or something...</p> <p>But you're right to just ask in this case.</p> <p>It looks fantastic on you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239066 Thu, 01 May 2014 20:24:18 +0000 Suz 1239066@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Mary -- Ask!&nbsp;</p> <p>If I were the bride (or the bride's mother) I wouldn't give a hoot!&nbsp;</p> <p>But others might feel differently. So ask, and either way, you have a great jacket.&nbsp;</p> <p>And if the mother says, "Over my dead body you wear the cream," then (alas, alack!) you will simply have to go shopping again!! &nbsp;;) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/loft-lace-jacket-ok-for-wedding#post-1239038 Thu, 01 May 2014 20:04:07 +0000 Diana 1239038@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not sure. I always feel a little uncomfortable in solid pieces of white or cream at a wedding so I tend to avoid them because I don't want to worry about potentially offending anyone. Although I think most of the time everyone is cool with it to be honest. So I guess it's about your personal comfort level more than anything else. </p>