https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 13 Apr 2026 14:16:10 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996419 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 15:06:15 +0000 Bennett 1996419@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would no more wear the Playmate look than I would put on a clown suit if that is what my husband wanted in the bedroom.... it all feels like a costume to me, I am so NOT that girl. Thankfully not an issue in this house! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996403 Sun, 27 Jan 2019 13:09:53 +0000 Mainelady 1996403@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for this post and all the comments. DH and I will be celebrating our 35th wedding anniversary next month. We were together 3 years before that. I am happy to say that we have evolved and grew past the Frederick’s of Hollywood, thigh high stockings and stilettos. DH would buy my pretties that he thought I would like and they were fun for a while. A short while.<br /> Next DH graduated to subtly sexy clothing and a romantic dinner. Hello LBD and diamond earrings. I have been gifted with some pretty nice clothing and baubles over the years, romantic dinners, weekends and vacations.<br /> I wear pretty bras and matching panties because they make me happy. DH seems to like them too, which is a nice plus. Romantic lingerie for the sake of romantic lingerie is a thing of the distant past.<br /> Fast forward to now. A genuine “I am happy to see you” smile is the most romantic thing ever. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996154 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 13:10:04 +0000 VeronicaMit 1996154@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hate ligerie myself ... but we need it.&nbsp;</p> <p>Please don't laugh of me, but when i&nbsp; sleep I use this kind of Shorts.</p> <p><a rel="nofollow" href="https://venoora.com/product/casual-girls-women-cozy-sport-shorts-gym-aerobics-yoga/">https://venoora.com/product/ca.....bics-yoga/</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996146 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 11:49:44 +0000 jussie 1996146@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hate lingerie. Expensive, hardly anyone’s gonna see it, so fragile, unattractive looking. I’m the Grand High Curmudgeon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996124 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 09:28:29 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1996124@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Opaline! That is terribly funny. Can we work it into the slogan for men's lingerie?</div><div><br /></div><div>Gaylene, that's awesome! Beyond a couple silk chemises I wore as nighties/loungewear around his kindergarten years, I haven't felt comfortable wearing it with my son around (I'm a single mom), especially now that he's a teen with all those hormones. But this is a topic I plan to revisit after he moves out. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>For those who are saying that lingerie is all about objectification--that we would only wear lingerie if a guy was going to see it, for sex, I suggest you look up the phrase "sex positive feminism". I'm not going as far as Cardi B's Twerk video (yes, that is the title and the argument she has made about it), and I realize we can feel social pressure when we are alone, but insisting that it's all about a guy's pleasure is pretty restrictive thinking. Besides, as several women commented here, the guys often don't care anyway. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Jessikams, with your creativity and the fun you've been having with getting dressed, I bet you'll come up with something awesome. I hope you'll tell us about it. Have fun!</div><div>ps--if you want to go ott. <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.irregularchoice.com/eu/womens.html">https://www.irregularchoice.com/eu/womens.html</a><br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996121 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 08:04:36 +0000 Jessikams 1996121@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a fab bunch of responses! </p> <p>I think I’ve rotated thru all of these various approaches throughout the 19(!) years we’ve been together. At first, I wore a bikini throughout an entire road trip. When we got married I used classy white silk lingerie, received as gifts from friends. Then went thru a phase of the hilarious stripper stuff: hot pink feathers etc. Then bought another batch of gorgeous Mimi Holliday stuff for 10th anniversary. A few years later, embarked on experiments with massage, writing stories, etc. Now at 15th anniversary— just kinda out of ideas! For now it’s important to me to have stuff that looks and feels nice for everyday. And I do choose the textures (satin yes, lace no) and colors that he likes. </p> <p> Thanks all for sharing your strategies, thoughts and chuckles. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996101 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 03:16:46 +0000 Aquamarine 1996101@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’ve definitely morphed into a curmudgeon the older I get *and* the more self-confident I get. I can’t help but feel that sexy lingerie objectifies women. Plus I’m always cold </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/3#post-1996099 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 02:47:53 +0000 Gaylene 1996099@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I was a utilitarian gal until my late fifties when I wandered into an upscale specialty shop for a bra fitting. I found I adored wearing pretty bras which fit perfectly and improved the look of my clothes. Mr. G was the enabler who suggested I buy the matching knickers and, since then, I’ve never looked back. </p> <p>My lingerie drawer is an important element of my style. Pretty lingerie makes me happy and being happy is always sexy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996097 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 02:34:16 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 1996097@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m a fan of the fancy stuff, as long as it’s not uncomfortable. Kind of fun to know you’ve got something nifty on under the jeans and cashmere. And I never liked stockings till I discovered the thigh highs that (mostly) stay up on their own. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996094 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 01:42:50 +0000 Alicewonderland 1996094@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fasintern, I think irs absolutely true what you said about being well rested. I felt very different went I cut down my hours at work. I just generally had more energy to enjoy things. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996092 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 01:04:21 +0000 SarahD8 1996092@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>100% curmudgeon on this one.<br />That said, I love all the ideas here about finding something a little special that fits <i>your</i> style.&nbsp;<br />If you showed up in something that makes <i>you</i> feel sexy, do you think the penny would drop for him?<br />I also really like what Vix has to say. An awful lot. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996085 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 00:30:50 +0000 Kate 1996085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you’re a curmudgeon, Jessiekams, then so am I. I do love wearing pretty lingerie, and do so every day. It pleases me. Hubs is indifferent to lingerie. Naked. That’s what he thinks is sexy. Easy to do and zero effect on the budget! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996082 Sat, 26 Jan 2019 00:12:41 +0000 Anonymous 1996082@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Crotchety ‘bout the crotch.<br /> Sorry.<br /> It wasn’t in my brain but then it WAS!<br /> (^｡^) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996071 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 23:08:13 +0000 Anonymous 1996071@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not remotely curmudgeonly. Wear what feels like you, it’ll be sexier anyway.<br /> I like boy shorts. Lace ones are my idea of lingerie. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996067 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 23:03:16 +0000 Anonymous 1996067@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of good suggestions! I agree, find something that suits your style, after all you nailed formal dressing </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996045 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 22:40:56 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1996045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>Two other ideas: <br /></div><div>A catsuit. I used to have a long-sleeved one made of mesh (didn't have the lace parts this one has). It looked sexy by itself, but even better, it was an extra layer of warmth under long-sleeved dresses or skirt + long-sleeved tops. The legs, extending from under the skirt, looked like tights. <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.hunkemoller.de/de_de/63-catsuit-long-sleeve-schwarz-138652.html">https://www.hunkemoller.de/de_.....38652.html</a></div><div>Tap pants or other retro/vintage lingerie. If you want separate pieces instead of elevating your regular stuff or adding pieces to go with your dressy capsule, retro tap pants are comfy, would probably fit your style, and have more coverage than some items. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Keturah, I've been trying to come up with gentle support to go under winter layers, don't know why I didn't think of slips like that. Thanks for the idea. <br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996044 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 22:34:27 +0000 Suz 1996044@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This gave me a good laugh. I don't think you are a curmudgeon. As far as I'm concerned this is one of the benefits of marrying someone with less than perfect vision. Once his glasses are off I don't think he knows what I am wearing.&nbsp;</p> <p>(But I do like "everyday" undies with a bit of lace -- and that's as far as I go.)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996042 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 22:29:12 +0000 Style Fan 1996042@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think my flannel PJs with wildlife on them are pretty exciting.&nbsp; I could meet him at the door naked with a glass of wine but with my luck, some stranger lost on the trail would be knocking looking for directions. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996034 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 22:09:32 +0000 elpgal 1996034@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am also a fan of silky fabrics and fine cotton things with lace. Not underwear: just special clothes that are delicate but not precious. My almost 7 year old likes soft fuzzy clothes, so I have incorporated some into my weekend capsule. I enjoy the sensory and visual experience so I am happy to indulge others. My pet no-no’s are heels although that is mostly because I haven’t found a comfy pair. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996033 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 22:08:34 +0000 Sara L. 1996033@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Keturah's last paragraph.&nbsp; I like to wear cute lounge wear with lace or cut-outs that make them sort of sexy while still being comfortable.&nbsp; I'm careful to point out what I like to DH so he knows what I'll wear if he wants to do some shopping.&nbsp; I'm always cold so whatever I wear has to be warm.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996030 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 22:02:59 +0000 Ket 1996030@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FashIntern, pretty much! I would say the bra top is somewhere between the thin, lace bralettes selling these days and a light support soft cup bra? No underwire, but for me it's enough support and I don't feel I need a bra plus the slip, unless I need a lot of Lift. For a fuller bust, it might not be enough. (I'm roughly 36/38 band, C-D cup.)</p> <p> I have an embroidered stretch mesh braissiere slip from Warner's that was maybe $50. I also have one from Cosabella but it was $100+. My Cosabella is the most supportive of the two. Nicer lingerie shops will have them. Nordies lingerie section might have them too? They may not call them brassiere slips, perhaps just a full slip? Tell them what you want! I can see if I can find and post links here too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996022 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 21:45:54 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1996022@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Keturah, is a&nbsp;brassiere type slip a full slip with a built-in bra? Where are they available? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996020 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 21:34:22 +0000 Ket 1996020@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not team curmudgeon I love pretty bras and panties, lacy, gorgeous colors, etc. So for me lingerie is my everyday look for underpinnings. That said, I prefer cute but comfortable pjs, or really gorgeous rich things like Natori designs. However... Those flimsy frilly bits sold for Valentine’s Day aren’t warm or comfortable. (Who wants to sleep with feather ruffles??) So I totally hear ya on that!</p> <p>My lingerie has always been gorgeous (and yes, expensive) but practical: usually brassiere type slips that can be used with dresses. I still have my lingerie slips and wear them under dresses for date nights. To me they are a great compromise. </p> <p>I think there’s some really sexy cute sets out there in comfortable cuts and fabrics featuring details like a row of tiny faux buttons, lace edging, or tiny little bows. Or find some new pajamas that would be comfy yet pretty. When you find it, put it on a wish list and email it to him! He can buy what he likes, you get what you like. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1996006 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 20:24:03 +0000 Anonymous 1996006@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would wear the everyday type (with a bit of lace and whatnot) but not that other stuff. I feel silly in it. It might be worth talking to SO about this if the sexy lingerie makes you uncomfortable.</p> <p>Maybe a little refresher of some things that YOU like? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1995993 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 19:15:30 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1995993@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><div>Runcarla, boxer briefs are my favorites. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Aliceinwonderland, your second paragraph reminds me of those studies that come out occasionally about more sex if the guy does his fair share of housework and connects with the kids. It's always strange to me that they're written as the guy being "rewarded" instead of the woman finally being rested enough to be able to indulge in pleasure! Can you update us on your "experiment" in a few weeks?<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1995990 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 19:02:39 +0000 Alicewonderland 1995990@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If my husband said something like that I’d have some mixed feelings too! If I were you I would get some inexpensive and completely ridiculous outfit to surprise him with one night, just for fun and laughs. Like red crotchless thing and cutout bra with tassels and feathers or something. </p> <p>I think guys also need to put in effort to keep the spark alive. I tell my husband if he wants me to feel more amorous he needs to plan dates and open doors like in the beginning of the relationship. I’d rather he do that than wear lingerie. Yikes! (Though boxer briefs can be nice. ). </p> <p>You’re not a curmudgeon. I never saw the point if all those impractical lingerie items. I had a green silk chemise that I never wore. Up to last week I only wore cotton panties and bras from Target, and mostly nude or black, and never lace. It was fine. My husband is therefore conditioned not to expect more from me. </p> <p>But I’m doing a reversal. I’ve been reading “A woman’s Guide to a Finding Her Inner French Girl” by Debra Olivier and I found the section on fashion inspiring. The section on lingerie talks about always wearing nice lingerie every day, for yourself and as part of your outfit. So I just revamped my collection and am attempting to wear matching sets for the first time ever. I have lace, colors, mesh, lots of pretty things. If I’m brave enough I’ll leave a hint peaking out or wear black under a white shirt. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1995985 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 18:38:53 +0000 Barbara Diane 1995985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Men differ, but many men wouldn’t let how long an item is on affect whether they think it is worth their partner wearing it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1995983 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 18:34:47 +0000 Barbara Diane 1995983@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If there is something cute/sexy to him that you would be comfortable wearing, even if slightly (but not far) out of your comfort zone, I say why not. Many men are very visual. Your choice if it’s an everyday item or saved for special occasions. I think you can buy one, out of a gift or other part of the budget.<br /> Many beautiful items recommended above. Is he looking for those or something more? Maybe something between what you usually wear and his dream outfit.<br /> Also agree it makes sense to see if it’s just the clothing he misses. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1995967 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 17:36:59 +0000 Vix 1995967@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Jessikams --</p> <p>You make excellent points re the surface of the argument. But maybe there's another level to it -- the "dream behind the statement" your husband made. </p> <p>Maybe back in the day is wrapped up with having more quality time together, more spontaneity, fewer responsibilities...you get the idea. And somehow "lingerie" is the shortcut word for the *feeling* of being appreciated or the object of desire.&nbsp;</p> <p>When you guys have more time (and caffeine!) I'd recommend figuring out if that's the case. Because if so a rote purchase/wearing of Magical Item X won't solve anything -- but connecting in other ways might.</p> <p>Maybe it's as simple as *literally* turning up the heat, wearing flimsy clothes, and eating takeout from someplace new as you talk about favorite warm-weather stuff you've done and look forward to doing.&nbsp;</p> <p>OTOH, as a visual person myself there's also something to be said for novelty. Sometimes I enjoy my favorite cake more when there's a different frosting. ;)&nbsp;You've gotten some great ideas upthread about items that might work for you both. I'll leave it to you to put the vintage visuals into yea or nay!&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lingerie-am-i-being-a-curmudgeon/page/2#post-1995958 Fri, 25 Jan 2019 16:34:26 +0000 Diana 1995958@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Heh, in my opinion, if it can't or won't function as actual underwear or sleepwear, there is no place for impractical lingerie in my closet no matter how pretty/sexy/appealing it is. &nbsp;<br />My husband has never tried to buy me lingerie and I'm perfectly all right with that! &nbsp;I think honestly if faced with the prospect of having to buy it he'd run away screaming. &nbsp; </p>