https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 03:03:51 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body#post-1658219 Tue, 10 May 2016 18:31:31 +0000 rabbit 1658219@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Heh, I remember one lightbulb moment involving nudity. &nbsp;We were hiking in Crete and came upon this little beach which was frequented by nude Northern Europeans. &nbsp; Mostly nude Germans of all shapes and sizes who were my grandparents age. &nbsp;It shook me right out of my 'bikini bodies are in glossy magazines and I fall short' mindset and into a 'nude bodies are what we have because we are animals, and aren't we lucky to be alive and to spend a beautiful day on the beach' &nbsp;point of view. I had been feeling slightly self conscious on the public beaches earlier but stripped down and joined the smiling ladies wearing only their hats, and the water felt awesome. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body#post-1658042 Tue, 10 May 2016 14:35:47 +0000 Janet 1658042@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy, that's so interesting. In many ways I feel VERY self-contained (yes, I'm the one who happily spends 2+ months on a solo camping and photography trip across the US). And I'm very comfortable with marching to my own drum in lots of ways. I wish that extended more to my self-image when it comes to body and appearance. For me, it varies from day to day. </p> <p>A few years ago, I joined some new friends -- women I had met only a week earlier -- at a wonderful spa in the mountains in New Mexico. We got massages and agreed to use the "no swimsuit" women-only hot tub at the spa. One of the women models nude for her own self-portraits, and the other was raised in a very hippie culture, so they didn't blink at the prospect. I, on the other hand, was raised by a quite conservative, reserved, modest family, and I've never been terribly comfortable being naked, even just by myself around the house. Well, I swallowed my pride and stripped down with the others and dunked myself in that hot tub. Within a few minutes, I'd lost most of my self-consciousness and it actually felt pretty normal to be there that way. That felt like much more of an organic bonding moment, because there was no pressure to conform. I was invited, but there were no expectations of conforming, you know? </p> <p>So let's hear it for the self-contained! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body#post-1657936 Tue, 10 May 2016 10:52:39 +0000 Ledonna N. 1657936@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachylou you made me laugh hehehe. So much of what you say rings true for me as an adult. I was a conformest. I had to learn how to how to be selfcontained. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body#post-1657892 Tue, 10 May 2016 06:33:22 +0000 rachylou 1657892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't know what to say. I was raised in Hippieville, 'free to be you and me.' I don't think I was properly exposed to these social pressures about fat and good looks. But I do believe there is social pressure in any group, and you have to decide what you'll accept and what you won't - and that's on you. I remember going to this mother/daughter hippie camp. Anyways, I did this one big hike that my mom wasn't up for. All these women were pressured - by others and themselves - to swim nude in this icy lake. I remember one of the counselors trying to tell her tween daughter 'there's nothing wrong with your body' when she wanted to wear her swim suit. </p> <p>Anyways, not only was I not gonna strip down, I had no intention of swimming in ice water either. So with no mom for company, I sat by myself. And I remember overhearing that same counselor remarking on how I was the most self-contained person she'd ever met. I AM incredibly self-contained. This is both good and bad. I don't have any deep bonds that can only be forged by a shared hazing experience. No one is gonna help me bury bodies. But I take it upon myself, you know? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body#post-1657877 Tue, 10 May 2016 05:24:04 +0000 Ledonna N. 1657877@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm sounds like an excellent read. Have to check to see if it's at the library. It is a constant battle to reprogram our brains to think that we are enough. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body#post-1657848 Tue, 10 May 2016 04:10:33 +0000 ma 1657848@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, if Lindy said it then it must be true:) I havent read her book yet but I've loved Lindy West way back to her Stranger days! Love her fierce attitude and humor. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/lindy-west-i-don%e2%80%99t-want-the-people-who-love-me-to-avoid-the-reality-of-my-body#post-1657825 Tue, 10 May 2016 02:55:18 +0000 minimalist 1657825@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>In this excerpt from her new book, Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman, Lindy West describes poignantly the pain of growing up fat in a society that fears and disdains bodies it deems imperfect.</p> <p><a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/may/08/perfect-body-lie-believed-long-time-let-shrink-my-life-lindy-west" rel="nofollow">http://www.theguardian.com/lif.....lindy-west</a></p> <p>"Society’s monomaniacal fixation on female thinness isn’t a distant abstraction, something to be pulled apart by academics in women’s studies classrooms or leveraged for traffic in shallow “body-positive” listicles (“Check Out These 11 Fat Chicks Who You Somehow Still Kind of Want to Bang – No 7 Is Almost Like a Regular Woman!”). It is a constant, pervasive taint that warps every woman’s life. And, by extension, it is in the amniotic fluid of every major cultural shift."</p> <p>Your thoughts? </p>