https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 25 Apr 2026 20:35:49 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1384082 Mon, 27 Oct 2014 02:43:23 +0000 MsMaven 1384082@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good for you! And thanks for sharing this story. You were not to blame, and I think we often need to hear this for our own struggles. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383688 Sun, 26 Oct 2014 15:13:59 +0000 Anonymous 1383688@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm so glad that you got through this awful week and stayed strong fighting for your rights. Well done! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383504 Sun, 26 Oct 2014 00:27:48 +0000 retailgirl 1383504@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good for you! I'm glad you hung in there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383497 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 23:54:56 +0000 avicennia 1383497@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with crutcher both that it's clearly a case of sexism and that you must document everything from now on. Congratulations on having won the battle, but be vigilant until you become permanent. Use email wisely to create a paper trail. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383468 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 22:49:12 +0000 krishnidoux 1383468@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Crutcher yes, I do pay for union!</p> <p>That is a very good piece of advice. Will remember to do.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383447 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 22:07:06 +0000 krishnidoux 1383447@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for your words of support and cheer. It is good to be reassured and I tell you, last night I slept well and deeply! I wanted to write it here because I think it could be useful for others to know: if you fight, things that seem immutable&nbsp;<i>can </i>change.&nbsp;</p> <p>Sveta, it is much better than no system at all. When there are no rules, no strong union,&nbsp;nepotism takes over, it's who you know and who likes you - or not.&nbsp;I am glad there is a system in place&nbsp;here at least. It makes for a much better working environment, with pple actually helping each other instead of competing..&nbsp;</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383445 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 21:52:46 +0000 crutcher 1383445@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First, good for you for sticking up for you...Sexism in academia is hard to take...But my question is about your union rep...where was the support you are suppose to have in such a situation?...Do you pay dues for support?.I am disappointed and amazed at the lack of representation you received...That would concern me..<br />Meanwhile, hang in there and document everything that happens...If you need it later, you may not be able to remember exact transpiring..<br />Best to you... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383437 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 21:05:09 +0000 Sveta 1383437@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Krish, I am proud of you! So often people are afraid to speak up when situation is unfair and miss the opportunity. You were brave (I am sure it was scary for you) and the result is brilliant!<br />Congratulations!<br />On the other note - I cannot stop thinking how unfair this system is when you are measured by how long you do it and not how well you do it...</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383432 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 21:01:14 +0000 Janet 1383432@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, how frustrating, but I'm so glad you persevered! What a valuable lesson for us all.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383418 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 20:39:15 +0000 Lyn D. 1383418@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A great outcome- give yourself a pat on the back </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383378 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 19:24:49 +0000 Glory 1383378@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so pleased reading this post from you and your resolution to fight for yourself! It must have been difficult to forge ahead with this with such little encouragement. Congrats to you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383357 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 18:45:38 +0000 deb 1383357@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, what a rough week. But in the end you came out the winner. Congratulations on winning your fight.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383318 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 17:45:41 +0000 Isabel 1383318@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>YAY !!!!! &nbsp;I am so glad that was resolved in your favor. &nbsp;And congratulations for sticking up for yourself. &nbsp;YOU are your best advocate. &nbsp;It is impressive to me that you were nice about it. &nbsp;Some people would have been aggressive and used indecent language. &nbsp;One can push the issue and still be profession. &nbsp;</p> <p><div>CONGRATULATIONS !</p> <p></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383312 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 17:18:52 +0000 krishnidoux 1383312@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, I don't take your words of warning lightly. Feels good to know I'm not the only one and that is one of the loads that come with the job... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383306 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 16:57:42 +0000 Style Fan 1383306@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so glad this worked out for you and that you stuck with it.&nbsp; I have done some fancy footwork to survive the politics of institutions.&nbsp; It was the hardest part of my job.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383299 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 16:34:17 +0000 Anonymous 1383299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow - what a story. &nbsp;I cannot even imagine what you were feeling last week - with a breakup and a work issue......it seems like life is so unpredictable and unfair sometimes, doesn't it? &nbsp;Actually, I should rephrase that - I CAN imagine what you were feeling, because I've just been through a similar work situation myself . &nbsp;You're right, you never know what you can accomplish unless you try, and you did it with calmness and authority. &nbsp;And succeeded. &nbsp;Teaching and the politics around it are simply mind-blowing to us outsiders - but I am so glad this worked out for you. &nbsp;Sometimes the planets align (not often , but once in awhile - lol) to help us figure out how to right the wrongs. &nbsp;Good on you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383277 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 15:30:46 +0000 SW Ann 1383277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so impressed that you stuck with it.....It is not easy to buck the so called system when you are being dismissed by others.&nbsp; I agree with bj.....watch your back and be ready to mount more assertiveness as needed... This kind of stuff is insidious in many settings, and many/most&nbsp; choose to not bother making the effort to request assistance in the review.....I don't really like to assume sexism, but having seen it in my own life in the past, and in friends' experiences that are female,&nbsp; it indeed does exist and must be confronted repeatedly...Good for you, and continue to advocate for yourself! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383257 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 14:09:55 +0000 krishnidoux 1383257@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>bj, I certainly will.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383249 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:49:58 +0000 bj1111 1383249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Congrats and great negotiating. Looking forward to celebrating your permanent hire. Ps...watch your back with the colleague who was just demoted. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383241 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 13:32:49 +0000 Laurinda 1383241@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><span>Big hugs of encouragement!</p> <p></span>I'm sorry you had to go through that, it is not fair treatment for someone&nbsp;so dedicated to your teaching and working your honest best.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/like-what-some-battles-need-fighting-back#post-1383205 Sat, 25 Oct 2014 12:17:45 +0000 krishnidoux 1383205@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wanted to share with you something that happened to me at work last week &nbsp;(in fact, the very same day that my then BF broke up with me!) because I think it also is a good life lesson I just learned there.&nbsp;</p> <p>I am a worker on a seniority list and someone who had been hired after me, and who had worked very little in my department&nbsp;overtook me in the list for unfair reasons. I fought back, however, and to my surprise, won.&nbsp;</p> <p>I just wanted to share what I went through.</p> <p>First I cried. <span>My initial reaction was to <i>blame myself</i>, even though there was nothing really there to blame. After speaking with friends, I realized <i>the fault was not mine</i> but that there was a flaw in the seniority system, and that I could take action to reestablish the balance. That was the first step.</span></p> <p>Second step: &nbsp;I wrote an email to my union representatives, exposing the situation as clearly as I could, nicely, asking them to help me submitting a grievance. I got initial responses that seemed confusing, because I had the impression that they were dismissive, and not really addressing the situation at hand.&nbsp;</p> <p>So again, at this stage, <i>I felt it was my fault</i>.&nbsp;&nbsp;I felt like David against Goliath. I thought, Who am I to challenge what many people probably&nbsp;sat to bargain&nbsp;for a long time? &nbsp;</p> <p>Third step:&nbsp;&nbsp;I also kept some hope. I put extra care in my wardrobe this week, because it makes me feel better and more confident, and because it distracted me.&nbsp;</p> <p>I write this to show how in such an unfair situation, one could just give up and not speak up. And when you do speak up, the most likely reaction, even from otherwise friendly and helpful colleagues, is dismissal. But I think I had touched a sensitive spot with my query, &nbsp;because&nbsp;<i>I recovered my spot on the list</i>!</p> <p>Like what some battles are worth fighting, even when it seems there is no hope. &nbsp;It's also testimony that there is, sometimes, some justice. There are no words to describe my relief. </p> <p>PS: I had to shorten this post from its original form.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p>