https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 18 Apr 2026 10:03:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2308306 Tue, 14 Feb 2023 19:35:19 +0000 Sal 2308306@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks Echo - I am pleased to hear about your positive changes</p> <p>I am feeling better this week than last - and I am convinced part of it is based around hormonal changes - and part of it my specific situation&nbsp; - and part of it this crazy summer we are having here with storm after storm</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2307867 Sun, 12 Feb 2023 22:29:08 +0000 Echo 2307867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Everyone is different and reacts differently to things, but I am your same age and faced the same things recently. I do not know whether I am in peri or full on menopause, as I've had a hysterectomy (still have my ovaries), though I've had no symptoms.</p> <p>Regarding stress, I actually took on LESS responsibility at work. I decided that it is time to focus on my life outside of work. I was tied up in knots over that decision, especially because work had specifically asked me (which was a major compliment) to take on MORE responsibility. But I have never been happier. I work the hours I work and that's that. I don't worry about the politics of the building (they exist everywhere) and keep my nose out of where it doesn't belong. I keep my work life separate from my personal life. Best. Decision. Ever.</p> <p>My youngest child left for college in the fall, and I was TERRIFIED of the empty nest. I really didn't know what I'd do with myself. My situation is slightly different in that my 22 year old son is living at home, but he is working full time and is gone most of the time - at the gym, with friends, etc. My second son visits from school sometimes on weekends, but my youngest is gone most of the time.</p> <p>The reality? Dh and I have connected in a way hwe haven't in YEARS. We are closer than ever before and we're both loving it. Of course, we love when the kids are home, too, but I am unexpectedly loving and embracing this change.</p> <p>And I know how hard it can be, but sometimes you must distance yourself from those who depend on you emotionally. Sometimes you cannot be the pillar for everyone else and still keep yourself standing. Take a break, be unavailable sometimes and step back. You can decide when you feel less anxious about how close or how distant you want to keep said people in the future.</p> <p>Good luck, and I am sorry you are going through so much. Meditation is a big help for some people, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2307280 Thu, 09 Feb 2023 01:23:02 +0000 Sal 2307280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks all - I have read all the comments and have acted on a couple of them</p> <p>There's lot of small steps to take to help this transition work - I can see that most people here have been affected in one way or another through a transition or anxiety or mental health challenges</p> <p>There are some behavioural changes I need to make too - a reprioritisation of sleep and less worry about things I can't control!</p> <p>&nbsp;I expect it to be a long term project </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2307210 Wed, 08 Feb 2023 18:09:41 +0000 Gail 2307210@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Certainly a difficult time of life for many of us. I never struggled with anxiety until the past 10 years. I had a super busy life with 3 children and a husband who was not home a &nbsp;lot and I took it all in my stride.<br />&nbsp;The last headed off to college in 2013 and that's when It started. Various &nbsp;things happened to him and suffice to say he and I both struggle with anxiety .<br />&nbsp;I certainly find that walking &nbsp;and getting out of the house helps me. I also do a small amount of volunteering. Several friends lead very complicated lives that I seem to get sucked into but it does take my mind off my own issues!<br />My vitamin D was terribly low and I now take a supplement which helps.<br />&nbsp;I totally agree with Janet about it not only being a problem women have . &nbsp;My husband commuted 2 hours each way to NYC for many years . He is now retired and doesn't know what to do with himself . &nbsp;Perhaps I'll post about that on a separate thread. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2307196 Wed, 08 Feb 2023 17:06:20 +0000 Janet 2307196@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just want to add a little perspective -- this is not only a problem women have. My husband has been struggling with this transition time in life too. He'll be in full retirement mode a year from now, when he turns 60, and he's stressing about the change in his identity, how he will fill his time, etc. He's going back to therapy to get some help in sorting through the emotional upheaval. I think that's a great idea. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2307169 Wed, 08 Feb 2023 14:20:34 +0000 ophelia 2307169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sal, I wrote a short novel in response then deleted it, lol.<br /> The gist of it: if I had it to do over again, I would avoid HRT like the plague. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2307021 Tue, 07 Feb 2023 20:13:22 +0000 Sal 2307021@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks all.&nbsp; I can't step down from the voluntary role until August at the earliest (unless it is a crisis) but if things do not improve over the next few months I will do that.</p> <p>I do need better boundaries with the friend - I had another friend I had to dial back the friendship because of the ongoing drama - I can't be outraged all the time about things!&nbsp; Some people will never be without the high intensity stuff and it does move from one issue to another.&nbsp; People who are like that are very drawn to me it seems though..... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306938 Tue, 07 Feb 2023 13:05:38 +0000 Anonymous 2306938@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lots of good advice here! Agreeing about stepping back from the volunteering, and saying no in general to anything you don't really want to do. That includes being a dumping ground for friend's problems (been there). </p> <p>I don't have experience with empty nest, as DH and I don't have children, but we have worked together. And during Covid, we actually got along better because we didn't have to interact with the outside world. When we have conflict, it's from outer stress. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306927 Tue, 07 Feb 2023 10:08:17 +0000 Brooklyn 2306927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Sally. You might want to check your vitamin D levels. It’s quite common for Australians (and maybe NZers too) to have very low vitamin D levels because we are obsessed with sun protection. I was told by a doctor once that low vitamin D can lead to mood fluctuations and all sorts of issues. I take a supplement just in case. I also found valerian (herbal supplement) can help me get a better sleep during periods of anxiety. When walking or exercising, I try to listen to a podcast to stop me from ruminating. Something engaging but not depressing. It also provides something to talk about with DH (I work with mine too!). Hope you feel better soon xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306900 Tue, 07 Feb 2023 03:02:09 +0000 Jenni NZ 2306900@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with both Jules and Helena about boundaries with the needy friend and the volunteering. I read a good book called “Boundaries” years ago- two authors, maybe McCloud and Thomsen or something similar- sorry not at home to check. It was rather overtly Christian although underlying principles could apply to any beliefs I feel.<br /> Also with volunteering and those who give a lot being asked to do more, that was me and I no longer feel guilty that I don’t do much. I am voluntarily supporting my adult daughter, son-in-law and granddaughter both financially and with childcare and I give out emotionally the whole time in my paid work, and I have done lots of voluntary work in the past, so this is my time so I can keep going in my paid work until the usual retirement age in NZ (for those Fabbers in other countries reading this, that age is 65.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306876 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 23:05:02 +0000 Sal 2306876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes the working together thing can be intense.&nbsp; With kids around there was something else to focus on as well.&nbsp; We do have seperate hobbies (cycling, running, swimming for DH - yoga, walking, gym, gardening, movies, the volunteering for me) as well as some shared ones.</p> <p>He used to travel a fair bit internationally for a week or two at a time which I honestly liked as it gave us a change.&nbsp; Even after I stayed home this weekend and he went alone (reluctantly) when he came home we had different stories to tell.&nbsp;</p> <p>I value the spaces a lot - I am like that with my friends and family too.&nbsp; I always have been.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306874 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 22:50:04 +0000 Helena 2306874@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sal, I agree with you on volunteering and always have some volunteer stuff going ... But the problem with it is, the people who volunteer tend to be the ones asked to do more and volunteer more!! Nothing wrong with stepping away from the role you have and giving back by dropping food to the food bank, writing letters once a week from home, or doing something for really set times rather than a role that expands based on what you're willing to give xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306865 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 20:51:54 +0000 Sal 2306865@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks all- lots of good advice here.</p> <p>I will reevaluate the voluntary position - Covid played havoc last year on our income, membership and also the ability of our other board members to give time.&nbsp; I find it fatigueing to do the work and get little back from my team.&nbsp; I have committed to 18 more months, but I could make it 6 if I don't get some improvements.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>I believe strongly in volunteering - but I am wondering if this is the right way to be giving of my time.&nbsp; I sometimes think I would rather be planting or weeding gullies or working making meals or something more practical.&nbsp; Definitely food for thought!!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306863 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 20:17:28 +0000 Irina 2306863@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Jenn</b>, my doctor initially tried to put me on very mild anti-depressants instead of HRT to help with hot flashes. Unfortunately, the meds didn’t work for me but I was told it works for many and of course help with anxiety.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306857 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 19:50:55 +0000 Jenn 2306857@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sal, I don't have a lot of suggestions beyond what has already been offered, and you know the pillars anyway--exercise, sleep, socialization, and something just for you. </p> <p>I'll add a +1 to all those who suggested at least investigating medication. I finally talked to my doctor because I noticed my anxiety became unbearable during that one PMS week a month. I asked to take an antidepressant just for that week, and though I ended up taking it daily, the effects are most noticeable during that one week. &nbsp;It's really smoothed out and counterbalanced the mess hormones were making of my emotions.</p> <p>I wonder if, at one point, your volunteer gig was a thing that brought you sustenance and, over time, has shifted from being a net positive to a negative. It might make sense to move onto to a different role that can bring back the positive impacts on your mental health instead of draining you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306835 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 18:53:04 +0000 Minaminu 2306835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So many good suggestions in the previous responses that hopefully it will help bring some light and Brava for taking some time to pause and look for advice on how to manage these tricky times.</p> <p>I am afraid I don't have any experience on empty nesters but I am experiencing challenging times as well (perimenopause started, fragile elderly parents who are behaving like stroppy teenagers, health issues, renovation costs stress..).&nbsp; I've noticed that if I prioritise my health, I can better&nbsp;</p> <p>look after my loved ones and&nbsp;when things get overwhelming, I write a daily gratitude journal or break down activities&nbsp; into small tasks to remember that things can be achievable - maybe not as quick as I would like but still moving forwards. </p> <p>So, dear Sally, I know it is difficult but put yourself first. If you need to step down from something as it would help your health, don't hesitate to do.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306767 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 13:36:29 +0000 Jules 2306767@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Putting in place some boundaries with the needy friend might be helpful - even if just mentally in terms of not replying to every text or call immediately, putting a time limit on conversations and learning some graceful ways to end them, etc.&nbsp;<br />I will also relay that I have a friend with some major life issues (physical and mental health) and I had a tendency to never complain to her because my problems felt so minor in comparison. But I came to realize that she was actually desperate for me to share more, and we became closer in the end, with more reciprocal honest sharing. She wanted to be there for me just as I was for her. Your needy friend may not be the person for this, but maybe there are others in your life who are. At first I had to honestly reach for stories/incidents to discuss when she asked me how I was or what was new, instead of reflexively saying "Fine!" with a bright cheery smile, but I got the hang of it eventually!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306760 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 12:42:14 +0000 April 2306760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've gotten such useful input from the YLF crew that I'm not sure what I have to add.&nbsp; To me, working together and being married to each other would be overwhelming - I'm thinking of that Kahlil Gibran line about "let there be spaces in your togetherness" and wondering if there's a way for you to claim a little space that isn't shared? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety/page/2#post-2306746 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 07:06:23 +0000 Jenni NZ 2306746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dear Sally, I missed this until now since I have just left on a tropical holiday and am sitting in a cabana by a beautiful pool in Phuket, Thailand!<br /> I went through menopause earlier than you- was 46 in 2007 when the periods stopped. It coincided with the loss of my religion due to bullying by a senior pastor at church and also my father becoming extremely frail and moving from retirement village apartment to private hospital care (he died 2.5 years later aged 87). It was a terrible time.<br /> I restarted the antidepressant I had stopped 4 years earlier, and I had counselling perhaps starting a bit later. The counselling was totally invaluable. Explained why/how I had became such a perfectionist! I dropped my voluntary roles ( which were mostly church related running programmes for kids) and later dropped a second job I had training younger doctors. Although I am medical I didn’t consider HRT since 2007 was only 5 years after the big study came out in 2002 which put doctors off it for years. More recently I have put plenty of women on it at that time of life and they have been helped.<br /> I stayed on the citalopram anti-depressants until 2019 when I slowly came off them and have remained off. I have also had some couples counselling with my husband more recently (2020 I think) which did help our relationship too.<br /> Feel for you. You do need to put your own needs first for now. I do wonder about the voluntary position, if it’s helpful? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306743 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 06:54:29 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2306743@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I just ran into this podcast on women’s hormones. I respect Hubsrman’s podcasts. 2+ hrs is probably more than you want to listen to, but it’s well bookmarked, and there are references so you can just go look up whatever interests you. Hope it’s useful!<br /> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/huberman-lab/id1545953110?i=1000597230460" rel="nofollow">https://podcasts.apple.com/us/.....0597230460</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306734 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 05:19:29 +0000 jasmine 2306734@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Everyone has given a lot of great advice already. I'd just like to add that anxiety/depression can be a symptom of menopause so that is definitely worth exploring. You might be interested in this article that was published in the New York Times recently: <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/01/magazine/menopause-hot-flashes-hormone-therapy.html">https://www.nytimes.com/2023/0.....erapy.html</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306732 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 05:17:45 +0000 Suz 2306732@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Sal,</b> you are indeed, calm, level-headed, kind, pragmatic and I can well imagine you are a rock to your friends and family. It can be a big load to carry when your hormones are going haywire and you are facing major loss and change.&nbsp;</p> <p>You're already doing so much to take good care of yourself. And you've&nbsp; already had excellent advice. I am not sure how much I have to add -- but I'll just echo the idea that it's especially important in these times of transition to take stock of those relationships that might be unequal and consider whether we need to pull back, at least temporarily. I also think it's fair to ask for support ourselves.&nbsp;</p> <p>Some friends are not up to the task, it is true, and that can be painful to recoognize. But others might come through in surprising ways if we share.&nbsp;</p> <p>Therapy and meds are of course other options. Both have been very helpful to me over the years.&nbsp;</p> <p>As others mentioned, the volunteer position sounds as if it bringing more stress than satisfaction at the moment. If that's the case, can you disengage? I had to let go of a volunteer VP position a few years ago when I was dealing with some very serious family issues and loss. I felt badly for letting the organization down because I care about the work they are doing. But at the same time, they were leaning too hard on me at a time when I was very clear that I needed some boundaries and they refused to respect that. The minute that role was off my plate, I felt so much better.&nbsp;</p> <p>A dear (post menopausal) friend came up with a Kondo-esque litmus test. Her question, of any relationship or role: Is this bringing me joy? </p> <p>Obviously, there are some things we need to do (taking out the garbage, washing the toilets, some parts of our jobs) that will not be bringing joy, but for those activities that are not mandatory -- why bother?&nbsp;</p> <p>I think a lot of post-menopausal women bring that insight to our lives. It doesn't completely do away with Woolf's "angel in the house" syndrome but it sure helps!&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306727 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 02:44:23 +0000 Jaime 2306727@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sal I always thought the combination of menopause and menarche x 2 was going to do me in, but I am finding the transition to mother of adults somewhat more confounding. My go to for anxiety is up the yoga, and I am dabbling in meditation as well. Bad weather doesn't help, but that will end. Best wishes and empathy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306716 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 00:56:33 +0000 Helena 2306716@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sal, sending you hugs. You have given so much of yourself to so many different things and I'm so glad that you are also giving care to yourself!</p> <p>Given all the transitions, how crazy the world feels, the information overwhelm, and those wonderful hormones, it's no wonder you are feeling anxious! You've got loads of great suggestions here and are doing lots of great things for yourself. I've dealt with various levels of generalized anxiety and phobia issues over the last 25 years of so and find exercise, sleep, meditation, and giving up alcohol and (most) caffeine has helped me. Medication has been helpful too and there are many very low dose options as far as I know. Cognitive behaviour techniques have been helpful for specific issues and phobias and might be helpful for things like your climate anxieties. There's a great book called Mind Over Mood that has lots of worksheets to DIY some of the techniques (probably can be found online too). One thing at all time and do what resonates with you ... There are lots of ways to tackle this beast! DM anytime. Sending love! Xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306712 Mon, 06 Feb 2023 00:09:22 +0000 Sal 2306712@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks so much - I am very very grateful for the wise words - there's no magic bullet and I may need to try several things - and keep trying - I have a good friend I am helping with a crisis right now and it is taking a lot from me - sadly I have come to the conclusion she will always be in crisis and whilst she is kind and caring - the relationship is very uneven in terms of me supporting her</p> <p>A couple of things that I can do-</p> <ul> <li>Meditation - I have downloaded the Calm App on a trial</li> <li>Try and live in the moment more - not getting ahead of myself with worrying</li> </ul> <br />In terms of the pillars of mental health I am good with the exercise and social connections - average with food (mostly healthy) and not as good on the sleep (waking up - getting up early with alarms - not a solid night time routine)&nbsp; That might be a good place to start! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306707 Sun, 05 Feb 2023 23:08:33 +0000 kellygirl 2306707@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hugs to you. I can empathize as well. We had a brief empty nest and then covid brought the chicks back and now, my mom. Didn't have a chance to get the full effect. On the other hand, both of my parents give me anxiety. I've finally just decided that I can only do so much. I think setting limits is totally acceptable - taking care of yourself is really #1 because it's like they say on the plane. Put your oxygen mask on first because if you can't breathe, you can't help anyone else. It sounds like exercise is your time - is that enough? (I feel like that's all the time I have too and it's less than I would like but it won't be like this forever...) Hope that you can find a resolution and just know that you are not alone! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306696 Sun, 05 Feb 2023 22:46:37 +0000 Angie 2306696@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sweet<b> Sal,</b> I can imagine that everyone wants a piece of wonderful you. You are indeed awfully level-headed, wise, calm, pragmatic, kind and generous. And people need to look after you too!. Don't be shy to ask for help, support, and a little TLC. It's your turn. Hang in there and hugs!</p> <p>Empty nesting, I can imagine, is hard. Especially when you are close to your children and your life has revolved around them for 18 years plus. All of a sudden, there is a void to fill. I sympathize. </p> <p>As far as the other anxieties go, life is stressful, and the world is in a tough place. It's a miracle we function and get done what we do! I was &nbsp;stressed about all sorts of things last few years, and that's why I needed a change. Start a new chapter. I made my word for this year CHANGE. I have been changing my routine, our home, the way I look at things, my style, strengthening important relationships, letting go of less meaningful relationships, and prioritizing what is important. Not sweating the small stuff either. Although you are an absolute inspiring rock star Sal, it's impossible to tick off every box perfectly. That in itself causes anxiety you do not need. You tick off miles more than most and that's incredible!&nbsp;You will also see your friends again. You were right to stay at home. I would have cancelled my trip too.&nbsp;</p> <p>Maybe you need to include something in your life that is just for you? If that brings you joy, and not more stress. Not sure what that is. Happy to brainstorm with you though.&nbsp;</p> <p>Wishing you luck as you figure this out and move through the transitions. We are the same age, so let you remind you that 1970 babies are stronger than they think! xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306687 Sun, 05 Feb 2023 21:45:38 +0000 kerry 2306687@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hit menopause at 51 (one year after last cycle). I knew I was perimenopausal for a few years before that because cycle was irregular (a change). I think the only symptom I’ve experienced is anxiety. No hot flashes or anything else. It’s hard to know if anxiety was pre-existing (I started therapy in 2020 and am therefore more aware), Covid or menopause. I suspect all three.</p> <p>Regardless of the cause it still needs dealing so as not to cause self undue suffering. It sounds like you have the pillars of mental health in place - movement, sleep, nutrition/hydration, social connection. That’s a great foundation! It will serve you well.&nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>You have such clarity on the things making you anxious. I believe that’s a least half the battle. Better than generalized anxiety where one can’t put a finger on it.<br /><div><br /></div><div>Your youngest leaving the nest is a loss. It makes sense to give yourself some time to grieve and process. Grieving can be exhausting so it may be helpful to pull away from some obligations to give yourself that time and to have those resources available to do so.</div></div><div><br /></div><div>I think you won’t know how working/living with hubs without the buffer of kids will affect you. I think it’s worth it to take a wait and see approach here.</p> <p>Work has always been stressful and you seem to manage. It can feel heightened when other things are causing anxiety. We only have so many resources. Give yourself some grace here in this time of transition.</p> <p>It sounds like some boundary work is called for with respect to helper role you play with family and friends. I think at this age it’s natural to take stock and reflect to identify what is no longer working and make some changes. You’re allowed This might fit the volunteer role too.</p> <p>With respect to should I/shouldn’t I behaviours and climate change, I think you should let yourself off the hook. The fact that you’re worrying about it means you care more than most. That’s good enough. Good enough is good enough almost always.</p> <p>Pulling out of friends weekend and regretting it is not a fun feeling. It seems you made the best decision you could with the information and circumstances you had at the time. Be at peace. Figure out why you’re second-guessing yourself, address it, process it and resolve for next time.</p> <p>We’ll never get it exactly right. That’s the human condition - to be flawed. Remember when you’re turning over these anxious thoughts in your mind, this too shall pass (the thoughts and the season) and you don’t have to believe your thoughts. If they are really hanging on tight and causing pain, get up and do something. Anything.</p> <p>I also agree with therapy and meditation. I like down dog app for meditation.&nbsp;</p> <p></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306685 Sun, 05 Feb 2023 21:39:46 +0000 Jules 2306685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, sometimes the magic cure is medication. It sounds like you already exercise and sleep well, and I’m<br /> guessing probably eat healthy. I find that with lifestyle advice for women there can be a lot of ‘do more!’ (meditation) and ‘cut out!’ (caffeine, alcohol - sometimes even chocolate is blamed for PMS which may be true for some, but seems unreasonably cruel to me!).</p> <p>Anti depressants also help with anxiety, and people have already mentioned HRT. I’m familiar with the former and sometimes it’s just necessary to get through a rough patch, when I’m doing all the right things and still not coming out of a low mood (or conversely unable to start doing the things I need to do).</p> <p>FWIW I have some extended family members living with a fairly high level of anxiety such that it actually affects others (their adult children), and I think it’s been so lifelong and ingrained that medication just hasn’t occurred to them. So it’s something I try to talk about openly.</p> <p>To be clear it sounds like you are functioning very well during a normal but difficult transition, but a talk with your doctor may be helpful, even just to rule out options. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/life-transitions-and-anxiety#post-2306683 Sun, 05 Feb 2023 21:33:28 +0000 Sally 2306683@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am about the same age as you and have big changes coming up as well as had some forced on me in the last year (my mother being in hospital, going to a rest home and now I have a brother with a disability that I have to give support to).&nbsp; I get some free counselling with my job and have decided to take advantage of this.&nbsp; I've done it before and my friends use it.&nbsp; I find it helpful if someone removed from the situation can give me strategies.&nbsp;<br />LIke you I am in a role at home and at work where I am supporting others with not often a lot of support for myself.&nbsp; With that comes guilt that you are not doing enough and being pulled in lots of little ways. I have found I have to be selfish and say its ok if its not perfect, its good enough.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br />Other things that have helped have been having a ritual with my yoga and other things like drinking my tea because the routine within the chaos calms me down.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p>