https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 15:54:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you/page/2#post-1109436 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 09:58:29 +0000 Lyn D. 1109436@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Coming here via Deborah's latest thread.<br />Loved reading this too Penny!<br />I used to buy too many 'Fantasy Life' dresses, and they sat unworn waiting for 'Occasions'. &nbsp;I realised that I just didn't want to wear dressy-dresses, so I purged and stopped buying them.<br />I now have a handful of fairly casual dresses that hang in a separate wardrobe. I tend to keep them for Dining out, parties and celebrations, and this works for me.<br />I also make sure that I change throughout the day from walking/exercise gear. <br />My going-out stuff is still more on the comfortable side than stiff and structured, and this encourages me to wear more often.<br />I like to add belts alot now, and at the end of the day I remove them as well as&nbsp;jewelry and&nbsp;shoes, rather than changing back into gear again.<br />I agree that having just too much can create distraction from wearing 10's too, and I am much more aware of this whilst shopping now.<br />We are all learning through your honesty and open-ness here. Ta! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you/page/2#post-1109384 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:29:55 +0000 anne 1109384@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>At the risk of bragging a little, I don't really have this problem in a big way now I am working. I like wearing dresses and more structured clothes, and my work wardrobe is pretty small, so I get to wear everything pretty often (only for 4 days a week, as I have casual fridays)<br />In a small way, I have things unworn at times because they need drycleaning/washing/ironing/ mending and don't wear my heels as much as I'd like do to sore legs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you/page/2#post-1109381 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 06:22:40 +0000 E 1109381@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a fascinating thread! My only distraction nowadays is that I own so many clothes that I love that individual pieces don't get repeated terribly frequently.&nbsp;</p> <p>But about 3 years ago, before I consciously decided to get dressed everyday, my distractions were thinking I needed to be in lounge clothes unless I left the house. And I didn't leave the house terribly often, so my regular clothes just sat there, being neglected, while I struggled with trying to find lounge wear that made me feel good. It took me an embarrassingly long time&nbsp;to realise I could just wear clothes everyday, even if I was staying at home and not going to see anyone else! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you/page/2#post-1109348 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 04:58:34 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 1109348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My goal of wearing something that I've made each day that I work (since I work selling sewing machines and teaching sewing classes at the store).<br />What this means is that a lot of the fun clothes I buy that would be work-appropriate (not too casual and not jeans) don't get worn as often as I might like, because I can't figure out how to pair them with something I've made. <br />I can related to all of unfrumped's distractions, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you/page/2#post-1109298 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 03:45:03 +0000 karymk 1109298@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My distraction is your number one, Lantana. &nbsp;I really "live" on the East Coast, close to New York, not in the horsey and dusty suburbs of Los Angeles. "East" is how I dress! If I get too creative or expressive with my dressing here, I usually get a comment or two about "being so dressed up." &nbsp;But I am just not slouchy, ugg boots or RATE. &nbsp;So my distraction is afraid of being an alien in my own environment.&nbsp;</p> <p>The size of my wardrobe is a distraction. &nbsp;I try to keep it edited, but I still walk in there sometimes and go, "ugh, where's those boyfriend jeans and flats again."&nbsp;</p> <p>Sometimes fashion saturation is distracting. &nbsp;I wonder how it would be if I didn't read fashion mags or blogs but once a season. &nbsp;What if I only chose one trend to test in a season instead of three?&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you/page/2#post-1109287 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 03:34:11 +0000 Lantana 1109287@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@ Vicki, that's exactly it: I want to be wearing favourites, no matter the occasion.<br /> I have to add that I have never seen you looking less than fab. You have high fabness standards, I think.<br /> @ Shevia, purging the "also rans" was the first step for me. Even so, I am still not styling the good stuff I am left with in an optimal way. Asking myself why I don't do this has been edifying.<br /> @ krishnidoux and Caro, this thread has touched on some tender spots and I am humbled by the wisdom and honesty of the responses.<br /> @ Deborah, get out, (said in my best Aussie accent) you always look a million bucks! Penny </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1109277 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 03:25:48 +0000 Deborah 1109277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lantana, this is so insightful. &nbsp;Your list of distractions could be mine! &nbsp;Haven't time to read through all the comments yet but am going to give this considerable thought. &nbsp;Thank you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1109269 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 03:16:03 +0000 Vicki 1109269@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a well-thought-out list, Lantana, that really looks squarely at the way we live. &nbsp;I can really identify with your fourth one about "dressing well for an hour or two in the day" and your second one on "waiting for an elusive 'occasion' to wear fab outfits."</p> <p>In fact, I realized the latter happened to me on Sunday when we went to an annual Christmas Walk in Corona del Mar and instead of wearing my new black Diane von Furstenberg pants, I opted for another pair that I later noticed were quite faded out and I was embarrassed by them. &nbsp;Fortunately, the eyes were on the sweater I had, but still I realized it was time to get rid of them and not keep so many black pants, especially the ones no longer suitable for the light of day.</p> <p>In fact, I agree with Janet that my larger wardrobe is a big distraction and I have been reeling ever since Claire shared her new minimalist approach with me. &nbsp;It was an eye-opener. &nbsp;As she said, I want to be able to pare down, so I'm always wearing my favorites, whether it's casual, smart casual or out on the town and dressed for something. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1109252 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 02:56:13 +0000 Jaime 1109252@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes! I need to reread when I am more awake. I just did a purge of second best items that stop me from wearing my favorites. I realized I was getting decision fatigue just looking at all my bags. (Luckily this does not seem to happen with shoes!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1109247 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 02:51:59 +0000 krishnidoux 1109247@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has turned out to be such a great read! Lots of very good insights.&nbsp;</p> <p>@ Suz: Your comment totally cracks me up! I have often felt the same as you. An "artist" should look like the part, right? And then dressing "well" seems like treason.&nbsp;.But is it, really? Why should it be and where in the world is it written that writers should wear boho chic or avant-garde only?</p> <p>@VernieJane: I also hear you. I am not tall, but on the thin side in a place where most are curvy. And while I envy them, it seems they envy me! I have suffered the effects of&nbsp;dressing in a way that was perceived too sexy or too vavoom in the past. So now I also will purposely choose something less flamboyant, or less flattering, just because I don't want others to react to it.&nbsp;&nbsp;Why do we feel we have to be apologetic?&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1109062 Tue, 10 Dec 2013 00:31:00 +0000 Caro in Oz 1109062@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fascinating thread &amp; I've read &amp; enjoyed&nbsp;all the wise &amp; honest&nbsp;responses. I&nbsp;have felt most of these limitations at some point in my life.</p> <p>Janet's comment:</p> <p><i>A misguided sense of obligation to give the lesser-loved items in my wardrobe a turn. So sometimes I think my large wardrobe is a distraction in itself. Now, I wouldn't say it's a distraction that drives me to despair, because my biggest problem in getting dressed is often trying to narrow down which fab jacket/top/shoes/dress I want to wear -- not a bad problem to have. But it does mean that I need to keep bringing an editing eye to my closet every time I open it.<br /></i><br />really resonated with me.&nbsp;Like Janet &amp; others my biggest problem was getting round to styling &amp; then wearing my best/favourite/most flattering pieces.&nbsp;</p> <p>When I was younger I enjoyed this process &amp; had a lot of fun with my clothes.&nbsp;At some point though this process was no longer fun. It took too much of my energy. I craved simple, easy yet still stylish.&nbsp;I was simplifying other area of my life &amp; wanted to simplify my clothing too. Still bopping along&nbsp;on this journey.</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108979 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 23:16:12 +0000 Lantana 1108979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@Laura, how wise of you to accept the tension of conflicting urges. There are no externally imposed rules on how women or men dress in my country and it seems wrong and sad that these oblique rules operate to hobble human creativity.<br /> Niefern, I put laziness on my list then took it off to replace it with specific things I did or did not do. I'm not convinced it's laziness. I think it's about putting oneself at the bottom of the "to do" list. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108962 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:49:00 +0000 Lantana 1108962@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@ Jayne, what you say makes perfect sense. Not repeating outfits would be a tough norm for me to work with. Not repeating items would be impossible.<br /> @ Aleta, YLF is fashion counselling at its best.<br /> @ Mo, your home alone outfits aren't wasted - there's always that woman in the mirror!<br /> @ Suz, I hear what you are saying and I feel this limitation myself. I adore and covet Caro's style but it is just not "me". I am so preternaturally prim I even look neat in a hospital gown. However I think the association of bohemian style with artists is a cliche that can be abandoned, especially by someone like you Suz, who has nailed her personal style so completely and utterly.<br /> @ AnnieMouse, "relaxed and casual, tossed together yet cohesive" -it sounds like you have articulated a clear style goal there, that is brilliant!<br /> @Janet and Viva,I actually believe in the one magical item. I know it can be the cataylst that brings everything else to life.<br /> And Viva, please don't feel terrible, unless it's that initial discomfort that goes hand in hand with learning.<br /> @ Peri, I hope this question is not too blunt but who is that person who knows better?<br /> @ Clare, oh my goodness, the RATE bloke syndrome. Sigh. Do you feel like Hepburn up against Bogart in The African Queen? That's me, for certain.<br /> @VernieJane, thank you, it sounds like you'll use your list to inform your style journey, which is how I'm treating this exercise.<br /> It's not about beating myself up for failings but about recognising self limiting behaviours and making changes.<br /> Thanks all of you, you are an amazing bunch of women. Penny </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108943 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 22:09:46 +0000 Niefern 1108943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My main "distraction" is basically that I am lazy. Lazy to stop and really think about putting a nice outfit together, lazy to dress nice to 'only' go out for a short while or a quick errand, lazy to wash my hair today if I think it is still passable (but not great). Then another "distraction" is a resistance to spend good money on a good piece ... I guess I tend to be&nbsp;too thrifty. I am trying to improve on these faults of mine!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108933 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 21:53:19 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1108933@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There's a thing that many of the people who were on What Not to Wear (US version) said that I feel sometimes; they say that they'd rather not try to dress well rather than attempt, fail, and be judged for it. I think about that a lot, especially in a media climate that is so judgmental of women's bodies. Sometimes it seems the saner course to just refuse to participate at all. But then the other part of me wants to enjoy dressing, to enjoy the aesthetics of different colors and fabrics and proportions. I don't know if it's something I can let go of, but it is maybe something that I should stop resisting, and just accept that this is a tension for me and will likely continue to be so for a long time. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108885 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 20:56:19 +0000 jayne 1108885@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My thing that holds me back from wearing a favorite more is cultural, not supposed to wear the same thing twice in a week/row..and lack of imagination t find FAB ways to wear it (sneakily in the same week) by putting it in a new outfit.&nbsp; I can find nonfab ways to wear it twice but I want the second outfit to be as fab as the first priority outfit I use that item in.&nbsp; Does that even make sense to you all? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108803 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 19:26:00 +0000 Lantana 1108803@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I admire the wisdom and frank disclosure here. Please don't be too hard on yourselves fabbers. I'd like to think your list making brings you to a healthy resolution, which might mean action, or might mean a spot more contemplation.<br /> I'll get back to respond more fully when I wake up properly! For now, a simple thanks - Penny </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108737 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 18:02:51 +0000 Mo 1108737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can relate to the saving things. &nbsp;Also, the thought that if I'm sitting home alone, I'm 'wasting' the outfit. &nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108722 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 17:50:02 +0000 Aleta 1108722@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such a thought provoking thread, so much of what is being said resonates with me. I always am aware that I might look too dressed up or smart, which naturally makes you wonder if&nbsp;people will assume that you are trying too hard, this in turn might make them come to the conclusion that you are a bit superior.</p> <p>I also am guilty of saving favourite&nbsp;things, worrying that if something happens to them I may not be able to replace them with something that is as nice or as good quality! &nbsp;Then of course there is the "mutton dressed as lamb" conundrum, By this I am not talking about skirts too short or tops too low, but just maybe looking too trendy for a woman in her 50's. &nbsp;</p> <p>So much to let go of! &nbsp;I think we all need fashion counselling!!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108711 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 17:30:09 +0000 Suz 1108711@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a great thread, Penny!&nbsp;</p> <p>What’s <b>distracting me from wearing the pieces I love most?&nbsp;</b><div><br /></div><div>Ugh!! I can't believe I'm about to write it: buying clothes that I love, with <b>few occasions for wearing them.&nbsp;</b></div><div><br /></div><div>It’s as simple as that.&nbsp;The pieces I love most are not 100% conducive to my work-at-home casual life.&nbsp;</div><div><br /></div><div>My solution has been to put more time, effort, and money towards the work-at-home casual wardrobe, so that each piece is loveable.&nbsp;&nbsp;And this has been&nbsp;a major improvement. I do in fact love or at least like&nbsp;most of my stay-at-home wardrobe now. And I like the outfits I can create with these pieces for my casual wear.&nbsp;</p> <p>Still, some&nbsp;of my very favourite pieces (pointy toed booties, leather jackets, other jackets) just aren’t comfortable or useful when I am at the computer all day. Or they are not practical in terrible weather.&nbsp;</p> <p>The dilemma is this: I <b>do</b> need them. I'm not just buying for a fantasy lifestyle. I wear all of these clothes, too -- just not as often as I wear the more casual pieces. I wear them in my city-travel capsule, so at least once per month and usually &nbsp;more often than that.&nbsp;</p> <p>I guess there is no real way around this one.&nbsp;</p> <p>I also relate to Viva's point. I am always afraid I will look too square, boring, dull. As someone whose style is basically modern classic, I worry that I'll just look....unfashionable. "Corporate" is the word some people have used to describe my style at times. And I cringe. Because, because....(horrors) I <b>like</b> suits! I <b>like</b> pencil skirts! I <b>like</b> jackets!!! Maybe I really should have become a lawyer as I trained to do!! Maybe I'm not really an artist at all? How can I be an artist if I dress like an....<i>accountant</i>? (Apologies to all accountants...I do not disparage accountants or lawyers but respect them deeply...this is about clothing here...) But but but....I <b>like</b> modern classic, I like how it looks on me..."quirky" looks stupid on me!! Boho looks stupid on me. Avant guard looks overwhelming on me!&nbsp;(And on the inner refrain goes...)</div><div><br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108704 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 17:15:24 +0000 AnnieMouse 1108704@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, what a great topic - I'd never have really thought about it. Thank you for broaching it.&nbsp;</p> <p>My distractions include, like others, (1)&nbsp;a desire not to "wear out" my favourites - I'm haunted by a blouse I adored that I wore until it literally fell apart at the seams, before I was&nbsp;ready to let it go. I also wrestle with the idea that (2)&nbsp;looking polished makes me look older or too fussy - I love the relaxed and&nbsp;casual, tossed together but cohesive sort of thing that certain types can manage with such aplomb. But somehow, when I try for it, I always feel either sloppy or just that hair too polished, destroying the relaxed vibe I so covet.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108687 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 16:36:40 +0000 Janet 1108687@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Viva, I relate! I definitely have a fear of looking boring/matronly/average. And I have a bad habit of ascribing magical powers to a coveted item. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108684 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 16:27:55 +0000 viva 1108684@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think my distractions are really big ... and I am going to have to work hard to let them go.<br />First, the fear that I will look too polished = too "square" = too boring = too old. (This will be tough. My whole life I have pushed against the orderly part of my nature. I was the straight-A, student council, high school virgin who smoked.)<br />And second, the belief that the next haircut, next sweater, next pair of jeans, next purchase will be THE one that makes it all come together.<br />Ugh, just writing these "distractions" out makes me feel kind of terrible. But I probably need to confront these things. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108679 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 16:18:06 +0000 Peri 1108679@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I relate to Krishnadoux's 3 and 4.</p> <p>In a very general and broad sense...wearing something that someone who "knows better" will think is wrong. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108647 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 15:28:58 +0000 Anonymous 1108647@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, this is good Penny! Part of why I pared down my wardrobe was mentioned by Janet. I felt an obligation to wear the lesser loved items to "save" the really favorite ones from being damaged or worn out. So I wanted to force myself to only wear my favorite things by getting rid of the mediocre ones.&nbsp;But I&nbsp;<i>still</i> find myself wearing gear for longer than I need to each day for the same reason: I'm subconsciously (or maybe downright consciously) worried about wearing them for day-to-day. Or I'm worried that I'll find out they're not as perfect as I thought they were. I wore my white jeans and charcoal pullover last week and realized the rise of my jeans was about an inch shorter than I'd like, and my pullover was an inch or two shorter than I'd like (meaning they didn't overlap enough for my comfort)&nbsp;and that really bummed me out. When I was just going into my closet to admire my clothes all hanging neatly, my ignorance to this was bliss. I've been doing my own little "Get Dressed December" challenge 5 days a week to combat this.&nbsp;</p> <p>I also struggle with dressing in my casual suburban environment and with my very 'RATE bloke' like you! Like Krish, I'm struggling to let go of fears of looking unapproachable or too dressed up. One of my silly resolutions is to wear my Okalas (heels) anytime I have a sitting occasion and the weather is conducive to it. What am I saving them for? It's not like I'll wear them out before they go out of style, lol!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108637 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 15:22:56 +0000 VernieJane 1108637@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a great thread. I have never thought about it like this, and I think it could be very helpful to make a list as well. Here goes, things that distract me from wearing what I enjoy the most:</p> <p>-Looking too skinny, too tall&nbsp;and/or sexy at work. Ok, don't hate me, but I am tall and thin. I love wearing form fitting, black, rebellious clothing, but I have a complex of looking like a slut. The fact that I am also thin, people constantly comment on it. (see next item)</p> <p>-Not wanting other women to hate me</p> <p>-on the other hand, dressing too down as a result, feeling like I don't "deserve" to dress really well.&nbsp;This is a psychological hangup in general in all areas of my life. </p> <p>-Comfort/warmth in winter. Priority is comfort, and not style, and unfortunately maybe my priorities are backwards?</p> <p>-Keeping old items that have holes or are too faded because I can't afford to buy newer versions. I.e. not investing in nice, new items (see above about "deserving"...)</p> <p>-Keeping items that don't fit me because I need to have them altered. I have a bag of these. </p> <p>-Buying items I never&nbsp;really want&nbsp;to wear, like dresses and heels and classy beige stuff, when what I actually want to wear is more rock n roll chic. </p> <p>-Not showing tattoos at work: I work in a very casual environment, and I could absolutely wear tank tops that show my 3/4 sleeve tattoos if I wanted to in the summer. But I want to be taken seriously, and as a result, I cover them by choice, which often results in looking matronly or old fashioned. </p> <p>Wow, I always thought I was just being lazy, but this list makes me see that it is much more complex that that. Hm... thanks for this thread!</p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108635 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 15:19:08 +0000 Lantana 1108635@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shedev, I take that to mean wash carefully by hand! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108634 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 15:18:02 +0000 Lantana 1108634@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yes unfrumped, I'm guilty as charged on these three things too, especially the "would be if could be" distraction. Case in point: Angie's inventive ideas for layering from today's blog post had me thunking my forehead. Duh, I could have adopted that look on a score of occasions, if only I had the eyes to see the possibilities. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108631 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 15:17:34 +0000 shedev 1108631@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Dry Clean Only on the label. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/letting-go-of-what-distracts-you#post-1108621 Mon, 09 Dec 2013 15:09:14 +0000 Lantana 1108621@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet your "misguided sense of obligation" is an interesting one. You note that these are lesser-loved pieces, not unloved, so there's no question that they deserve to remain in your closet.<br /> I think too it's a case of every piece having its day in the sun. My moto and bootcuts, both of which I love, have been skipped over for months until Angie's post on thrown together casual layers. I wore them today in a new to me way and fell in love with them all over again. </p>