YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Learning from Mistakes

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Learning from Mistakes https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 11:37:20 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Aziraphale on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes/page/2#post-1751140 Thu, 17 Nov 2016 01:30:59 +0000 Aziraphale 1751140@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is a really useful post -- thanks for starting it! It's interesting to hear about the things everyone else has learned to avoid. There's lots of overlap. I'm completely with you on the idea of going for quality where it matters. Buy nice or buy twice, as they say. This is particularly true of footwear, I find.  Sooooo let's see...what mistakes have I learned from? Here are some reminders I give myself while shopping: *Elisabeth, don't buy [insert item] in pale lavender or cobalt blue, no matter how cute it is. It'll make you look like you've got plague. *Stay away from cropped tops. They will make your boobs look like they're sitting on your waistband. *Don't buy anything that doesn't "go" with at least one thing you already have, or it will end up orphaned. *Think hard before you buy that skirt, even if it makes your bum look great. You know that nine times out of ten, when you get dressed, you reach for pants. *Do not succumb to heels higher than 3". You have nowhere to wear them.  Anonymous on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes/page/2#post-1751117 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 23:57:22 +0000 Anonymous 1751117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This was an instructional post.  Thank you for the topic.   LaPed on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes/page/2#post-1750974 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:23:04 +0000 LaPed 1750974@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The mistakes I make are almost always compromises of some sort, usually because I'm buying something last minute to get through the season, or to make something I already own work for a specific event. The top three are probably: 1) Uncomfortable footwear that I purge after one season. I've had this happen with everything from sneakers to dressy boots. These days, if I can't try them on in person, I order from zZappos and think long and hard before cutting the tags. 2) Colors I love in theory but not in practice. These I may hang onto for a long time, and sometimes I manage to build a capsule around them. Going forward I'm trying to be more focused with my palette; it's just easier.  3) Cheap synthetics or synthetic-blends that serve as placeholders when I can't find a higher quality natural fiber version of a specific item. My wardrobe is pretty casual and flexible, so I don't have a lot of "high-need" items; this was a bigger problem when I was working mostly in more formal/classroom settings. tulle on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes/page/2#post-1750971 Wed, 16 Nov 2016 16:09:50 +0000 tulle 1750971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ All my fashion mistakes tend to fall into one category:  buying things I like to look at (beautiful painterly prints, ultra-feminine clothes designed for curvy bodies, high-contrast graphics, new silhouettes with 'interesting' proportions) instead of what looks good on me. The hard-learned truth is that I am best served by quiet clothing;  luckily, that's mostly what's in my closet now. DonnaF on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes/page/2#post-1750413 Tue, 15 Nov 2016 02:19:25 +0000 DonnaF 1750413@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ 1.  Avoid impulse buys at bricks'n'mortar stores if they are not returnable, especially when I am with DD and/or DH.  Both are enablers. 2.  If I am trying too hard to make something work or am having any doubts, it means my gut is telling me to return it. 3.  If a pair of footwear is making my feet hurt, that means my feet are a little swollen and it's the perfect time to try on that newly purchased pair.  If they hurt at all, they need to be returned even if they are gorgeous and I am in love with them.   Donna, you have too many pairs of one- and two-hour shoes.  (The red pair went back today; the buttery soft booties will be returned later this week.) 4.  Drapey blouses make me look lumpy; I'm much happier in shirts. 5.  Too much polyester and/or lycra/spandex make me uncomfortable except in a narrow range of temperatures, so I am better off avoiding such garments.  So glad that I spent only $10 for my $220+ MiH jeans. 6.  My tolerance for color seems to be diminishing, so I need to be very careful when I buy anything that is not a neutral.  7.  Never say never; at least keep an open mind.  It is possible that some trends haven't worked because you haven't found your best fit.  But chasing around to find it might lead to settling, so don't get caught in that trap. RobinF on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750212 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 13:56:15 +0000 RobinF 1750212@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ There are some great insights here. A lot I agree with (don't force myself to get "must haves", stay away from button downs and multiples). Some others that don't work for me (re: bargain shopping, I have found some of my favorite items super cheap at places like TJ Maxx and Burlington Coat Factory). But I haven't yet figured out when to trust my gut reaction and really need to do that, because sometimes my gut reaction is wrong. So I need to figure out why that is. Lots to learn still! approprio on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750201 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 12:46:41 +0000 approprio 1750201@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The biggest failures are usually because <ul> <li>I can't wear them on a bike</li> <li>they are too "girly" for my style</li> <li>they don't fit properly</li> <li>they make me feel self-conscious about my large bust</li> <li>the colour is all wrong</li> <li>they don't suit my lifestyle, or I bought them for a fantasy life</li> <li>the proportion or silhouette doesn't suit me</li> <li>the quality is poor</li> <li>I thought I could pull it off but I can't</li> <li>not enough styling options</li> <li>they won't hold up in the rain</li> </ul> Summer on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750188 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 11:27:30 +0000 Summer 1750188@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Coming back to agree with Style Fan's last comment.  I've learnt to trust my initial gut reaction when trying anything on.  If I have any reservations, I pass on it there and then. Style Fan on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750174 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 10:13:04 +0000 Style Fan 1750174@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great thread TG. I have realized a few things over the years and some of them are similar to what other have written.  - Keep my feet happy.  There is no point in buying shoes that I can not wear. - Keep oversized, drapey tops out of my wardrobe.  I don't wear them. - Structured, tailored, fitted or cropped tops work best for me. - Don't buy black, gray or navy.  I don't wear them.  I am allergic to pastels. - Stick to earth tones.  It is what I wear.  Everything else just sits there. - Buy for the dominant seasons.  Buy snow boots.  Winter is almost 6 months.  :( - Listen to my emotions when I try something on.  If it doesn't feel right in the store then it will never feel right.   Sisi on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750172 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 09:55:17 +0000 Sisi 1750172@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ It's nice when you finally realize which are your mistakes, right? I have made all sorts of mistakes in the latest years, but the first lesson that I learnt has been: stay carefully away from "Must have" lists!! Almost all of them contain pieces of clothing that I do not wear: white shirt, little black dress, high dressy heels ... Other mistakes: buying for less dominant season and for imaginary lifestyle ( a ton of Summer clothes and sandals and not enough closed shoes, very elegant dresses that got worn once in two years)... Penny on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750123 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 05:08:57 +0000 Penny 1750123@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great insights from everyone! Almost every time that I have gone on a hunt for a very specific item, and have settled on the best available version of that item (but not something I'm crazy about), it has ultimately been passed on - I've learned it's better to wait until I find something I absolutely love that fits the bill, even if it requires more patience. . . Angie on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750087 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 01:10:50 +0000 Angie 1750087@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Fascinating, ladies. I enjoyed reading how you've learnt from your mistakes.  Over the years, I've leaned to: <ul> <li>NEVER say never when it comes to fashion. </li> <li>LISTEN to my emotions and assess how I feel in an outfit.</li> <li>Keep a tight inventory of naked Summery items because I live in Seattle and run cold. </li> <li>Keep black wardrobe items to a workable minimum. I'm happiest when I wear black quite sparingly. And I do not like wearing black shoes. I have one pair. </li> <li>Keep charcoal grey items out of my wardrobe because they depress me. </li> <li>Keep my feet happy. Life is too short for uncomfortable shoes. </li> <li>Keep the colour flowing in my wardrobe because it makes me happy. </li> <li>Keep the trends flowing in my style because it makes me happy.</li> <li>Focus on the ITEM not the price. </li> <li>Keep my outfits fairly structured because they work well with my frame and personality. </li> <li>Duplication can make me very happy because certain looks are signature which makes duplication an important part of my style.</li> <li>Never shop when I'm not in the mood. </li> <li>When in doubt, ask Greg. </li> </ul> <ul> </ul> Helena on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750082 Mon, 14 Nov 2016 00:58:46 +0000 Helena 1750082@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shelly, amazing insights ... I need to upgrade my "boring" items now that you say it, and I hadn't thought of that. Jeans are next on my list. Thx for the wisdom! Shelly on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750063 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 23:33:00 +0000 Shelly 1750063@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you, Torontogirl, for starting the conversation and sharing your thoughts and thank you to everyone else who chimed in. I am obsessed with the idea of a wardrobe capsule and the idea has helped my wardrobe purchases in the last couple of years. I tend to scan stores and only settle on the ideas and colours that go with my wardrobe. Win. Win. I know what shapes suit me - I just had a few years of non-acceptance of my body. I am now trying to keep my weight stable so I don't need to hide it. I am a petite hourglass with a few extra pounds and can't pull off too many extra pounds. Skim rather than cling. Making myself buy the boring bits for my wardrobe. ie I used to buy every pretty top in the stores and never buy bottoms. I had cheap jeans and one pair of black pants. Now I own about 20 pair of pants in various lengths and mostly black, navy, whites and cream. I am also trying to get my wardrobe into a more classic style to always have something to wear that I am happy with rather than the newest and brightest that I am so-so with.  Not shopping with my husband. He always wants me to buy a size bigger than I need and then I don't feel right with either one.  Thanks! Summer on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750045 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 21:27:47 +0000 Summer 1750045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've learnt not to spend too much, per garment, on dressy items, as they are rarely worn.  For me, it makes far more sense to buy simple, versatile pieces that can be dressed up with interesting accessories if necessary. Also, I've come to realise that I'm happier buying one piece at a time.  This works best for my budget, and allows me to focus on what I really need. At the same time, I've learnt that I can and should reserve some of my budget for the occasional emotional purchase.  In the past, I've resisted items that would be perfect for me because of lack of funds, or because a real wardrobe hole has taken priority.  It makes sense to have a contingency fund. Lastly, I must remember that my feet are WIDE - so I need WIDE-fit shoes! (slaps self on forehead!).   harmonica on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1750013 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 19:34:33 +0000 harmonica 1750013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great thread! Heels. I've learned to stay away from anything higher than 5.5 cm (2.1 inch). Block heels are better than pumps. Sales. Sales goggles and hunting are not good. Stress relief. Not good for making great shopping / wardrobe needs assessment Ledonna N. on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749987 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 15:52:35 +0000 Ledonna N. 1749987@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm another person who button downs are not kind to. Most would say that I wear unflattering fits but I love my Wadrobe. It make me fees so 1 of a kind unique. Mary Beth (formerly LBD) on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749981 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 15:15:00 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 1749981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My mistakes... 1.   Denim.   I don't ever wear any denim except skinny jeans.   Why do I keep buying denim jackets and skirts?     Oh yeah, because I keep reading blogs and fashion articles telling me I need those in my closet.   2.   Denim that isn't dark.   Took me awhile to figure out that I don't reach for jeans that aren't darker, even in summer. 3.   Shopping for color.   Again, I'm a slow study, but I finally figured out I prefer to wear pops of color against a neutral background.   And my color preferences are seasonal:  I just don't reach for fuscia, royal blue and purple in the the summer.   Coral pinks, bright whites, and turquoises will probably not see the light of day in winter.   I spent a good bit of money on unworn clothing before I figured this out. 4.   Fitted fitted fitted fitted fitted.   I need fitted clothes.   Boxy and loose clothing make me unhappy when I wear them.      5.   Textiles.   I can't bear scratchy or stiff clothing.  Even some cashmeres itch like a thousand fire-ants, so I'm trying to be more careful in my purchases.   Except for outerwear and lined dresses and skirts, wool is pretty much off the table for wearability.   But darned if I don't keep buying fine wool and wool-blends, thinking I'm going to find some magic way to wash or treat it so it doesn't feel like a hair-shirt penance. 6.   Shoes that aren't leather or patent leather.   I love suede, but y'all, I can control the weather by putting on a pair of suede or satin shoes.   Need rain?  I got just the pair of open-toe satin sandals that I was planning to wear to the ballet tonight.   Wish it would snow for Christmas?   Hang on, lemme go grab my suede boots. Carla on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749980 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 15:11:28 +0000 Carla 1749980@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What Sterling said - and discount/outlet shopping. Yes, there are bargains to be had, but (I tell myself) those clothing items are there for a reason! I too, have been on a purchasing hiatus - no purchases since October 1. It's not a shopping hiatus, though. I AM doing lots of looking, and reading and trying to develop a list. I need a dressy capsule, and to expand my casual/weekend collection. lady on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749979 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 15:02:12 +0000 lady 1749979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hmm...I have similar mistakes as others. Sales focused shopping- I end up w lots of so so clothing bc it was 40/50% off. Duplication- I got away from this years ago but duplicated a few items this year. I wish I hadn't. The next is a problem but I'm not sure what the solution is: Buying before trying on. Due to my size, height, and location, online shopping is my better option but I'm not ruthless w returns. The added layer of repackaging the item, filling out the return slip and dropping it by the post office, means I don't often return. Thus keeping too many so so items. I need to raise the bar on what I keep and return more. Related to buying online: Emotional shopping- I'll be upset, frustrated, whatever and order order order. This must stop. It doesn't help. Helena on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749976 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 14:33:56 +0000 Helena 1749976@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow, this is a terrific thread! Thanks everyone for chiming in! Gigi - yes me too, if I am keen to find something and having trouble, I am in the 'overcompromising' danger zone. Great thing to be aware of Shedev - I imagine if you are not into the classic look, most advice lists out there are useless - great that you know to filter these out. Unfrumped - yes. Every season I will want a few fresh pieces - overbuying for a season is a great thing to be alert for.  Kiwigal - I love the term "placeholders". No more placeholders for me! In my fit issues, tops that are too short was one of the biggest fit issues - they need to hit at or preferably below my hip, otherwise, they drive me bonkers and look sloppy on me. LA - Navy, be gone! :) Rachy - yes, although I don't know you, I am fairly confident that "starchy" is not your vibe :) Secretsquirrel - Interesting point about the value of duplicating shoes ... I am also learning to be pickier about fabric. Staysfit - yes, once you know your flattering colors, it's really hard to be happy in something that is not one of them. Your turtlenecks are my Roots hoodies. I wear them unapologetically from January to the end of March and will never have too many :) Sterling - great learning about sales. You'll have to find another outlet for your hunting skills though, as I imagine that became a bit of a hobby outlet for you? Chris, fantastic insights - it's true, fit is not one of the fun bits of shopping, as color is, say - which is probably why jeans shopping is such a chore. But putting ON a well-fitting outfit when dressing is a joy. So better to put the work in! kkards - brilliant. My biggest mistake, I'm sure, is repeating mistakes. And yes, it's a balance of making sure that the fear of mistakes doesn't deter a person from trying something new.  kkards on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749974 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 14:08:01 +0000 kkards 1749974@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ for me, lesson #1...mistakes happen...learn to not to make the same mistake, but realize none the less that i will make mistakes...so, New Mistakes Each Season.  lesson #2...try new things, but, make sure the new things are not so far my comfort zone that i wouldn't wear it...Stretch myself, but make sure that i don't overreach lesson #3...when in doubt....Ask YLF Chris987 on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749966 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 12:19:20 +0000 Chris987 1749966@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great topic torontogirl! I've been through the exact same "learnings" as you! Also related to fit, I have learned that I need to focus on fit first, before pattern and color. I'm still drawn to the pattern and color first, and pretty good at choosing what looks good on me, but I still have to consciously make sure fit is #1. And also on fit, I've learned to be very picky about fit in shoes. Wear them at home for at least 2 hours before making the final decision. If there is ANY question, then the answer is no. I want to like classic stripes but just don't want to wear them so I've stopped arguing with myself and I don't buy them. I've also learned that if I'm trying too hard to like something then I probably don't want it. Anonymous on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749965 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 12:17:23 +0000 Anonymous 1749965@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I learn so much from my buying mistakes.   Sales.  Sales are not my friend.  I was introduced to sales shopping by a friend.  Once introduced, I shopped sales exclusively for a decade.  It evolved into more of a "hunt" than "wardrobe building.  I scored some amazing purchases, but in retrospect, I have to wonder if for every one amazing purchase, there wasn't two or five or more so-so purchases.  Thus, leading to a fair amount of wardrobe churn.   I'm stepping away from the hunt.  I have implemented a shopping fast until January 2, 2017 (13 days of success so far).  When I return to shopping, I want to shop with a plan.  An actual plan ... like Angie and Others use.   Staysfit on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749953 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 10:10:16 +0000 Staysfit 1749953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great thread here, and I can relate to your mistakes cause I have made them too. Here are mine: 1. Purchases in the wrong color, just because I think I like the style, but then I don't end up wearing it because it doesn't work with the rest of my wardrobe and in the long run doesn't make me feel happy. I need to stick with my palette. 2. Purchases that are too trendy. It's fun to be in style, but when something is too trendy I can feel uncomfortable wearing it. I like modern classic, looks best, and need to stick with them. A fresh twist on that theme is okay for fun, but not straying too far. 3. Like you, I like things that are fairly trim, classic and tailored. Fluid is okay, boxy is not my best look. 4. Duplication is a major concern in my closet. I am a big duplicator, especially of jeans. I will purchase the same style of jeans in multiple colors and washes if I like them. I wear the duplicated jeans, but put the limit now at 4. I also duplicate tops, especially sweaters, because I will purchase them in multiple colors. I am trying to get away from top duplication and limit this to 2. I want to maintain more variety in my silhouettes. I have some exceptions with the duplication rule. For example, I will duplicate anything I think is an essential item in my wardrobe. For example, turtlenecks. I wear them almost everyday in the winter, and I have lots of them in multiple colors. I will purchase the same style in more than one color if it's in my palette. SecretSquirrel on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749952 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 09:36:27 +0000 SecretSquirrel 1749952@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ ^ ^ me too rachylou. Though I really like the look and fit of shirts, so have been experimenting with softer fabric like linen or looser-weave, non starched cotton. Other things for me - like Gigi, over duplication. I realise I like similar silhouettes with different items, so going too far towards a uniform doesn't work for me. But duplication in shoes or boots is great when I find a well-fitting, durable style. Then I will buy in different colours and won't regret it. Must be soft fabrics like silk, jersey, cotton, cashmere. I would rather have less clothes but that none of them scratch rachylou on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749948 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 07:23:53 +0000 rachylou 1749948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Starchy button down shirts, I have learned just not to buy. I look and feel terrible in them. Wrong body type, wrong personality... LACeleste on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749927 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 02:32:16 +0000 LACeleste 1749927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I will never love navy no matter how much I try.  No more navy purchases! Sal on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749925 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 02:23:05 +0000 Sal 1749925@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Great idea for a thread TG.  Good realisations - I do think often placeholders are a mistake, better to buy the good quality item right at the start... My mistake would also be around fit...any top that is too short will annoy me very quickly.  Pants that sag in the butt, or pinch at the waist get left hanging in the closet....and my pet frustration, is tops that ride up at the back which is a common issue with my body shape. unfrumped on "Learning from Mistakes" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/learning-from-mistakes#post-1749892 Sun, 13 Nov 2016 00:18:02 +0000 unfrumped 1749892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What gradfash said. And just overbuying for a season. You'd think I'd be seasonless indoors, but I cycle through some short sleeves, long sleeve woven, cotton or linen sweaters, merino, cashmere and thicker wool. Same almost for pants. So I don't wear some items for months at a time but still like to get some fresh items. It is a shopping mistake for me to add to a season unless it's an in- out thing because it won't update or upgrade my wardrobe.