https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 09 Apr 2026 09:31:07 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited/page/2#post-507768 Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:45:36 +0000 Anonymous 507768@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww, you're always invited to my parties! Clearly the universe has a more fabulous dress out there for fabulous you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited/page/2#post-507692 Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:06:44 +0000 nicoleb 507692@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You've gotten lots of great advice and support! Don't throw in the towel! If it doesn't make you feel fab than it's the dress's fault. But i totally understand about being excited for a package to come in the mail and the disappointment when it doesn't work out. :-/ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507685 Thu, 12 Jan 2012 00:02:31 +0000 HelenInCanada 507685@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>On to more fabulous things, Andrea. Don't waste time comparing, lamenting, or dwelling on perceived faults. Much better to be proud, positive, and constructive. Yes, yes, yes!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507635 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:42:07 +0000 rachylou 507635@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw, don't worry. It's all about being true to you and learning about that true you. I, for one, don't do well either in dresses with a relaxed structure. I need darts and seams all over the place. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507572 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 23:15:32 +0000 Anonymous 507572@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, you can see how much you are loved here, can't you? </p> <p>I wanted to mention that "saving" the dress till later could backfire the same way that buying too far ahead for the next season can. Even if it fits you later, something new/better/more fab might have swept the forum and you might rather have that.</p> <p>On husbands, mine needs his *filter* changed (the thing between his brain and his mouth); he just says the first things that pops into his head:</p> <p>* about my long neck, "You have a very goose-like neck, my dear!"</p> <p>*upon seeing me in my fur collared sweater, "Well, hey there, furball!"</p> <p>*on me in an empire waist dress, "Wow, your boobs look really low in that!"</p> <p>Men. Keep on with your foxy fabulosity. I think you rock! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507423 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:38:05 +0000 catgirl 507423@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea, I've been thinking about you all morning. I think we all have certain parties to which we've never been invited (mine is the Wrap Dress Prom - never found the right date!). It's part of learning our style and what suits us. It can be very frustrating, but trust me, you are better off without a dress that doesn't love you back. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507414 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:32:41 +0000 goldenpig 507414@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yay Andrea! The perfect dress for your fab bod is out there waiting for you--I'm sure you'll find it soon! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507241 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 17:49:11 +0000 Andrea B. 507241@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, all. No, the dress does not look heinous. I tried it on one more time, looked at all that was good about i:t 1) I could get into it easily, with no pulling or straining; 2) it did not look like a tourniquet; 3) could be more flattering if sized up (it was an XL, so no hope for that); my rear end did not look like a giant bolster, 4) SPANX tamed some (not all) of the pooch concerns. 5) It was not hopeless.</p> <p>Then I looked at all that was not good about it: 1) not thrilled about the unfinished edges; 2) a bit more booty curve that I'm comfortable with; it was a Beyonce type of curve, and I am NO Beyonce (I don't think *anyone's* ready for this 51-year-old's jelly) and 3) I did not feel fab. </p> <p>The weird thing is that if I had tried this on in the store, I would have been disappointed, but I wouldn't have bought it. I think what made it so bad now was that I had waited for it for such a long time, and what my husband said (men!)</p> <p>I took off the dress, and said goodbye, and it will be going back to Macy's this evening.</p> <p>There will be other parties to attend and other fab clothes to wear. :)</p> <p>Thank you, Angie and all you fabulous ladies, for being so helpful, wise, and supportive.</p> <p>A </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507171 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:29:56 +0000 Jonesy 507171@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just chiming in to agree with what everyone else has said: A) Spouses can be cranky and tactless! B) It's not you or your fab foxy self, it's the dress! and C) You should feel good about yourself and your accomplishments, not bad! If the dress contributes to bad feelings, it must be banished! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507169 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:28:51 +0000 Carole 507169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry the dress didn't work out for you, but trust me there will other dresses. Angie's blog today reminds us to be Patient. I struggle with that all the time. I have a very hard time finding dresses to fit me; often too short, too tight in the bust and shoulders, sleeves are all wrong, the list goes on and on. I vote return and continue to quest for a dress that's a 10 and makes you feel fab! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507092 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:16:48 +0000 Amy 507092@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, Andrea, I often feel the same way you do, but we just have to shake it off and adjust our thinking in the way people have described above.</p> <p>You are Fabulous and Foxy!!</p> <p>*hugs* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507091 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:14:29 +0000 Di 507091@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea, I'm not invited to that party, either! It's a great dress, but we'll just have to keep looking. It's NOT you. </p> <p>(Also: sometimes our spouses get all out of sorts when something's different. They're funny that way, aren't they?) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507090 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:14:20 +0000 Angie 507090@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The dress is not worthy of you, Andrea. Onto something better for fabulous you! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507069 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:40:46 +0000 Gaye 507069@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I chime what everyone else has posted. It's not you it's the dress! Return it! That fabulous dress is waiting for you to find it and you will find it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507063 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:32:24 +0000 missvee 507063@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you should return it. Why would you want to hang something in your closet that you associate with failure???? When you decide you are at your goal weight there will be many wonderful clothes in the stores for you to enjoy trying on and it will be a pleasure for you to go out and pick a new dress or outfit. Keep in mind that not everything will suit you regardless of how much or little you weigh. That's not a failure on your part, it's just the way the clothes are cut. Oh, and don't fret about your husband's remark - they don't 'get' fashion the same way we do. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507058 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:23:58 +0000 Suz 507058@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Repeat after me: The problem isn't you. The problem is the dress!!! </p> <p>Seriously...I'm betting it looks better on you than you imagine, but if it doesn't make you feel fab, then back it must go to make room for something that makes you shine as bright as you really are! </p> <p>I've lost a lot of weight over the past year. At one point I wondered about buying things for my weight loss goal, but in the end I'm glad I waited. Here's why: I didn't just change size, I changed shape, and the kinds of styles that suited me before I lost weight (or that I imagined might suit me after I lost it) are different than what actually suits my new body shape! </p> <p>Please don't take the way that dress looks as evidence that your hard work hasn't been paying off. It has, and it will show best when you find the RIGHT clothes. </p> <p>As for your husband, it seems a lot of our men are a bit threatened when we begin to step up our style quotient! I have heard a few less-than-tactful remarks from my husband, too. Sometimes their eyes just have to adjust to a new look. Sometimes they're right, and the outfit isn't as flattering as we'd hoped. I always try to take my husband's comments with a grain of salt (whether they are wildly flattering or strongly critical) and come here for feedback as well. Oftentimes, his choices are confirmed (which makes him feel great about YLF, LOL!) Other times, people urge me to try something he's afraid of. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507046 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:12:28 +0000 Jem 507046@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry it didn't work for you. It's definitely not you!! Get rid of that dress and just wear what makes you feel amazing!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507040 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:07:05 +0000 kimlee 507040@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea - You are FAB and FOXY! I say that you return the dress but keep working on your fitness. While this dress may not work for you, I have no doubts that you will find something that makes you feel great! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507038 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 14:02:57 +0000 Transcona Shannon 507038@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea - you are indeed FOXY AND FABULOUS!!! And don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Not every item works for every body and you need to wear what makes you feel GREAT, not what makes you feel bad. I've learned over the last year (thanks to Angie and YLFers) to dress the body I have now. You have done so well with your goals and working at feeling better about yourself, don't let this one dress derail you. I say return the dress because there are always other fantastic dresses out there that are gonna make you feel FAB - and YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507031 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 13:42:28 +0000 Lantana 507031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea, I dont know what you should do about the dress but I do know you should file hub's comment away in the "sometimes blokes just dont get it" section and get on with building YOUR style. I empathise because I get that same reaction from my DH from time to time and I know how deflating it is. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-507019 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:41:04 +0000 Mochi 507019@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww, Andrea, sorry you are feeling down about that dress. We've all been there--way too recently in my case, and I'm sure I'll be dropping in on that frame of mind another few times at least before those thoughts get completely eradicated. It's hard. For me, it was a party I never wanted an invite to; but of course it's so frustrating and so hard to not put the blame on yourself when others are making it work. </p> <p>But. You have already been losing weight--kudos! And where you are at this very minute, you're amazingly adorable! </p> <p>Regarding the husband: LOL (or Screaming Out Loud), apparently you and I didn't receive the version that had tact included! Ah well. What everyone previous to me here said. Don't let his words bring you down. </p> <p>Let the dress go. I'm sure you have some duds that already look fantastic on you...and you will continue to find more.</p> <p>xoxoxo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506974 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 06:10:46 +0000 rae 506974@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a pooch, too, and I still love how the dress looks on me. Actually, I don't think it'll look as good once I loose more weight, because curves are what make the dress. </p> <p>Still, if it made you feel this down, just get it out of the house ASAP and get back into your foxy clothes! You are rockin and rollin LOSING weight while some of us (*cough* ME! *cough*) have only gained. Wear whatever celebrates your wonderful achievement!</p> <p>And also, don't let a DH fashion comment get to you too much - several of us here have learned that they can come across WAY more horrified by our looks than is really warranted, just because they aren't used to fashion yet. :T </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506968 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 06:00:11 +0000 jayne 506968@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you have gotten some great advice here..so I will only make it short...I would return it..and not have it be your goal...after all...it is not a uniform we have to achieve to be part of this group </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506967 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:58:10 +0000 Girl X 506967@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Keep the towel - get rid of the dress! It's great to have things around that remind us of what we're working toward, but those things shouldn't make us feel bad in the process - I'd return the dress. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506966 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:58:02 +0000 Kari 506966@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Also, I too have been "not invited" to some clothing parties that other YLF members revel in. Other curvy lasses with similar body types love David Khanh jeans; I haven't found them to work on me at all. Many knee high boots and fitted jackets that other members have loved have been no-gos for me because of my large calf size and large bust. I try to brush off my disappointment and realize that I have plenty of OTHER fab items - and it's not body's fault for not fitting into a mass-produced item! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506965 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:56:37 +0000 Refugee 506965@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh dear Andrea B, don't lose heart! I have been where you are. With all of this. During the last 2 years of my style journey I have lost weight and undergone body changes. One of the important things I learned was my perspective in regards to my relationship with individual garments. I used to feel if a particular garment didn't fit or flatter that I was not good enough for it. As if it was somehow passing judgement on me. I have changed this and when I am in the dressing room the question I ask now is 'Is this garment good enough to deserve a place in my wardrobe?' If not, it does not mean there is anything at all wrong with me, the garment simply isn't for me. There will be other garments that are.<br /> Next, the comment from DH. First boys are cute, but most of them just don't get it. When I started upping my style quotient, my husband was convinced that I was dressing better in order to upgrade to a better husband model. Huh? Yeah. Um, no honey I'm not. This is not about you, it's about me. The change your husband is seeing may be triggering insecurities of his. Be patient with him. Again, boys are cute but most of them just don't get it.<br /> We all experience garment let down. Something we have seen look fab on someone else that just doesn't work on us. This does not mean you should throw in the towel. This means you are learning things and are developing higher standards for what deserves a place in your wardrobe.<br /> Keep working, trying different things, learning and always remember we are here to help you out when you have frustrating days like this. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506963 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:54:36 +0000 Ginkgo 506963@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know this has been a very popular dress with YLFers but it doesn't seem to me like an easy dress to wear, so why not return it and something better will come your way! Try one of the Cha Cha Vente tops or tunics. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506961 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:49:33 +0000 Kari 506961@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea, I think you are INCREDIBLY gorgeous - fabulous and foxy is a great mantra for you! - and if an item, whether the Cha Cha Vente dress or something else, doesn't make you feel as foxy as other items in your wardrobe do, return it! I believe that the clothes you buy now should fit and flatter your body as it is now, and I'm trying to hold to that myself - I've steadily GAINED over the past year, which was not my intention, and while I'm still holding on to old pants that I'd like to wear again (and that will help indicate when I'm at/near my ultimate goal weight again), I'm buying clothes that fit me now and make me feel fab and stylish today, rather than berate myself for my shape or size. I'd encourage you to do the same, because it makes me feel incredibly sad to see you talk about throwing in the towel when you've been feeling so jazzed and looking so fab! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506957 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:46:06 +0000 shipskitty 506957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Andrea, we all have days like that once in a while. It can be soooo disappointing to find a piece of clothing you used to wear, or you've visualised wearing, doesn't look as nice as you'd hoped. And which of us doesn't have some kind of pooch at the front? </p> <p>I say dress for what makes you feel foxy now. It's just a dress. There are better, nicer ones for who you are right now that will make you feel fab and there will be more fantastic dresses in the future that will make you look amazing. Keeping it around will just make you frustrated and sad when you should be celebrating your successes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/late-to-the-party-apparently-not-invited#post-506953 Wed, 11 Jan 2012 05:40:55 +0000 cciele 506953@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Awww, I'm sorry it didn't work out for you! Do you think a larger size would work? Or maybe check in tomorrow :)</p> <p>I'm on Team Buy for Now -- I always find if I buy something to wear when X happens, I always find something else I like better later! </p>