https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 09 Apr 2026 00:55:04 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl/page/2#post-838694 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 14:21:59 +0000 KikiG 838694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you are rocking what you have going on. I would love to have your body to dress. I don't think long hair would be nearlyl as flattering as your current style. You are not broken. You have a style. </p> <p>Do you ever think how much the body you end up with influences your style? I would be so much more comfortable with your shape. I struggle to dress a body that is shorter and rounder and curvier than my mind wants it to be. The outfits I usually like best are the curve suppressing ones. I deliberately push myself out of my comfort zone, which is actually very tiny. I can actually leave home in a pencil skirt, now, and feel good about it. This is such progress for me. But I got here by lots of tiny changes over time, not overnight. </p> <p>If you did want to ramp up the "oomph," you could push yourself to be slightly uncomfortable with edgier shoes and purses. Like, a purse with studs. I also think you could totally rock some interesting, "arty" dangle earrings, with your lovely long neck and all. But anything extra blingy or super girly (like, bows) probably just wouldn't be you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl/page/2#post-838606 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 12:01:28 +0000 KC Tomboy 838606@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Again, thank you for all the kind comments and affirmation. You gals rock!</p> <p>Jjsloane, I almost choked on my morning coffee with your comment about a runway model. Here’s why (true story):</p> <p>When I was in high school (late 70s), my best friend (who participated in beauty pageants) asked me to attend an 8-week Charm and Beauty class with her (no subterfuge on her part – she just thought it would be fun). The teacher was the owner of a local modeling agency. We were taught how to apply makeup (lots of it), hair (big hair – this was Texas), how to walk properly, how to approach a chair and sit ladylike, some etiquette, etc. At the end of the course, the teacher kindly suggested that perhaps this wasn’t my calling (um, I didn’t want to be a model, just wanted a few tips!) I failed Charm and Beauty class! I still get a chuckle out of that. And I totally relate to Sandra Bullock in “Miss Congeniality”! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838591 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 11:23:58 +0000 ManidipaM 838591@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Everything useful having already been said --- and with eloquence! --- on the subject of girly and tomboy, I just popped in to add 'I LOVE your hair!' </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838589 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 11:00:15 +0000 Jjsloane 838589@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If I had your bone structure I'd wear that cool spiky short hair as well. I hope you've read through some of these comments and realized being a girl (or a woman) has nothing to do with what you wear. Technically speaking I see you have the long lithe body of a runway model. What you choose to wear is your personal prerogative. If you've been lurking you know some of our amazing short haired, princes and UWPs and tomboy, androgynous, manstyled women. I happen to like blingy and sparkly, but not so much lace and florals. I don't consider any of these traits what makes me a girl. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838577 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 10:23:34 +0000 Deborah 838577@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well I think you look gorgeous. Your hair is fab and you have a lovely figure. Nice to have you here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838568 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 08:28:45 +0000 Scarlet 838568@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry, first I can't let this go by without high-fiving Elisabeth on the Old Spice Deodorant.<br /> Second, even though I consider myself to be fairly girly (at least relatively so for my profession) I would wear your grey sweater outfit in a heartbeat. I think outfit 4 is quite stylish and feminine, actually. It sounds like you just listen to your own self to know what you like, which is a positive thing in my eyes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838561 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 07:23:33 +0000 Kiwichik 838561@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You are deinitely a member of the girl club &amp; you have a great sense of the style that works best for you - I love photos 3&amp;4. The great thing about being a girl is the freedom to dress in many different styles &amp; there are a lot of women on the forum who follow your aesthetic. I'm more at the girly end of the spectrum but have short hair, don't really wear much make up &amp; prefer short nails with clear polish. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838479 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 03:03:53 +0000 Anna 838479@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, I'm certainly joining this club. Just last week I bought a killer pair of brand new Banana Republic wool slacks in the MEN'S section! (I happened to be at a thrift store so they were only $9.95 instead of the usual $160). They fit me perfectly: no hips, no butt. They just needed to be hemmed. </p> <p>I'm honored to join the group!! I'm happy to know I'm not alone... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838461 Mon, 04 Feb 2013 02:18:39 +0000 Jaime 838461@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well I don't have a lot to add. You look great, I love your hair, I wear if anything less jewelry than you, don't even get manicures, mostly wear jeans and trousers, and almost always wear flats. Still it did not occur to me that I am not a girl! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838394 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:56:07 +0000 Anonymous 838394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I liked Shedev's response the best. I agree with her completely. And I am happy that we as women have so many different choices/ideas available to us. </p> <p>I LOVE number 3 above. You look incredible. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838380 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:39:55 +0000 jen 838380@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Why do I have Beyonce's song 'If I was a boy' playing in my head </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838378 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:36:50 +0000 Isis 838378@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There are definitely more of "your kind" here! I'd say Angie is more tomboy than you, she doesn't even wear earrings! But neither you nor Angie are true tomboy.</p> <p>Being a woman is a range, from KD Lange/ Ellen Degeneres style to Dolly Parton/Mae West. I think all 4 of these women are beautiful and all 4 are women.</p> <p>You can adopt a more feminine style IF you want! #4 is actually pretty feminine. But if you don't want to, it's fine to defy environmental norms!</p> <p>The important thing is to be true to yourself, and don't be afraid to experiment. Embrace tomboy style if that is what you are after or go more fem too. OR mix it up! You may be different than others in your town, but isn't that OK?</p> <p>What are your style aspirations? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838372 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 23:24:58 +0000 KC Tomboy 838372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, all of you, for such kind words of encouragement. It’s nice to know there are others of “my kind” out there! </p> <p>And I apologize for stereotyping GIRLS, as we all belong to the club no matter what our style preference.</p> <p>I usually embrace nonconformity. I guess I needed to vent because I felt so outnumbered at the jewelry party and nail salon. It’s like the Girly Girl Borg came to town and assimilated all the women except me (“Resistance is futile – you will be assimilated.” I’m a nerd – all other nerds will get the Star Trek reference.)</p> <p>I like and admire a more feminine style. It’s just that I feel like an imposter when I try it on myself. So I’ll stick to what is comfortable to me and makes me happy. If I stick out like a sore thumb, so be it! I’m dressing to please myself, no one else . . . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838355 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 22:46:18 +0000 Anonymous 838355@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love your style and I think you look great! </p> <p>I think my style is similar. Simple lines, neutral colors, barely any jewelry. I have waist length hair and an hourglass figure, but my style isn't overtly feminine. I appreciate it on others and love Kate Spades clothing, but it just doesn't feel or look right on me. I don't think it makes me less of a girl, though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838338 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 22:09:25 +0000 cciele 838338@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I see another urban prince, and as others have mentioned, you are in great company! I really like your style and encourage you to embrace it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838329 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 21:58:02 +0000 shedev 838329@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You cant fail at being a girl. There are just lots of awesome kinds of girls we can be. I really loved the look in photo 3. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838314 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 21:39:53 +0000 Isabel 838314@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I cracked up at spiffy's comment. SO true. Being a "girl" doesn't mean loud statements. KC - have you heard of Halle Berry ? Well, you could have been describing her in many ways...and she is a GIRL. But maybe you are really a LADY. I LOVE jewelry, but not bling, btw. You are not a Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. You are absolutely lovely !!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838313 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 21:35:48 +0000 Beth Ann 838313@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great to see you! I also thought of Angie, or any number of our Urban Prince's, from your description. I am girly --- and a bit of a color junkie and magpie -- but I so admire the strength and simplicity in our look. Loves the footwear, the hair, the backwards sweater.<br /> And, from experience, hips, booty and breasts get in the way of fit and function in clothing! Your long, lean look is wonderful!</p> <p>Perhaps you find yourself outside of the "environmental norm?" We can also make small compromises to "blend," and sometimes this is a good choice. More often, though, I remember that being one's best self is a gift to the community. We all grow a little freer to be ourselves. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838306 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 21:25:31 +0000 Suz 838306@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It probably hasn't escaped your notice that your description of yourself could almost be applied to Angie. And as far as I know, she's a girl! </p> <p>I'm standing right next to you, by the way. Angie coined the term "urban prince" and I'm sold on it! </p> <p>Me: over 50. Short hair. Fairly slim, straight figure. Rarely wear jewellery besides simple earrings and wedding ring plus (if necessary) specs; occasionally add a necklace or bracelet, but it's rare. Minimal makeup. Short nails. Prefer solids and neutrals with pops of colour. Hate handbags with bling. Tend to wear a simple sheath or pencil skirt if I wear a dress or skirt, although I'm not against other silhouettes. </p> <p>As far as I am concerned, you look great. And I am happy to make your acquaintance! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838299 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 21:08:50 +0000 Caro in Oz 838299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Whatever works for you - but that goes for the girly, girls too:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838283 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 20:31:50 +0000 ruthe 838283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I didn't buy a ticket. The bottom line is this...be happy with you...period. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838282 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 20:30:55 +0000 catgirl 838282@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am so with you! I've posted about girly clothes making me feel like I'm in drag. But I think it's more your own perception and direction that matters. I have short plain nails (because I rock climb and can't be bothered) and my main jewelry is a wolverine skull necklace. I sometimes aspire to a butch/androgynous style. And I'm good with that.</p> <p>If you feel bad that you're not on the girly train, then that's one thing. But there are plenty of other trains to catch! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838280 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 20:23:21 +0000 Karie 838280@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, I guess I'm standing next to you on the train station platform - I'm 52, short hair (missed the memo too), 5'8" and 130 lbs, but not stick straight because I think all 130 lbs. are in my hips! I HATE jewelry parties, but I do confess to loving hoop earrings. I'm dressy on workdays (mostly skirts), but on the weekends my urban boho self makes an appearance. While I don't think your photos scream "tomboy," I say have fun and rock your inner tomboy! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838257 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 19:36:45 +0000 ironkurtin 838257@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What definition of "girl" are you using? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838254 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 19:34:18 +0000 Anonymous 838254@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look great, if the girl train left then I missed it too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838251 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 19:25:29 +0000 Moonie* 838251@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BTW you look fabulous for your age and I definitely think the hairstyle makes you look younger! From looking at the pictures I personally don't think you look tomboyish at all! You just have a very casual look and it works for you!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838244 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 19:09:11 +0000 Aziraphale 838244@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I didn't know being a girl was something one could fail at. ;-)</p> <p>Are you happy with your style? Do you feel comfortable in your clothes? Look good? (I think so). There's more than one way to be a woman. We have the freedom to dress any way we like, and that's one thing men don't have. </p> <p>I think you've got lots of company on this forum when it comes to the tomboy club. (Off the top of my head: see Angie, Rae, Una...)</p> <p>I'm not a tomboy, but if this makes you feel better, here's my list:</p> <p>1. I've got a slender rectangular figure<br /> 2. I wear men's Old Spice deodorant<br /> 3. I often wear a boy's argyle sweater vest over a button front (really; it's from Hanna Andersson, the kids' clothing company, and is boys' size 9 to 11)<br /> 4. I often wear flat boots or Converse with jeans<br /> 5. I don't do ruffles<br /> 6. I generally dislike floral patterns<br /> 7. My wardrobe consists almost entirely of black, gray, navy, white, and military green. Men's colours.<br /> 8. I've had short hair many a time. (Right now it's shoulder length)<br /> 9. I frequently wear a suit jacket with tee shirt and jeans<br /> 10. ALL my role models are men. </p> <p>All that, and I still don't consider myself a tomboy. I am absolutely all woman, although I borrow freely from the boys. So keep doing what you're doing. You may have masculine elements to your style, but you can still be ALL WOMAN, if you feel like you are. Keep doing what you're doing! No need to feel "peculiar". </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838227 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 18:45:26 +0000 rachylou 838227@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol, KC. I love that. My neighbor will love that. *Girl train has left the station and we're not on it!*</p> <p>Your grey booties in the first pics are adorable, btw </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838221 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 18:37:53 +0000 Nicole D 838221@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What an interesting post! First off, you are not freakish in ANY way, and you are unmistakably womanly, based on the photos you posted. When I think of some of the fashion icons I admire, they almost all have an androgynous edge : TIlda Swinton, Chloe Sevigny, Lauren Bacall in trousers, Audrey Hepburn in pants and no ruffles or lace in sight, even Princess Di in short hair and shirts and blazers or WHitney Houston in broad shouldered jackets and jeans. So embrace your clean classic style and make no apologies.</p> <p>But, what is also very interesting is that we still (or maybe more than ever) have this image of feminine clothing as pink, frilly, embellished, sparkly, and just plain princessy! Is this part of a Disney conspiracy (I love Disney, don't get me wrong). And that real women have long, flowing tresses. Stereotyping? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/ive-failed-at-being-a-girl#post-838217 Sun, 03 Feb 2013 18:35:15 +0000 merwoman 838217@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>KC - first of all, may I say that you rock your short hair! No wonder you don't wear it long. Secondly, fab body - and look at those gams! Thirdly, your sense of self is so apparent and so authentic - why you're beautiful just as you are!</p> <p>So I'm in your tomboy club - here are my credentials:<br /> -hair just covers the ears (strategy ti hide left ear that sticks out)<br /> - no jewellery except watch, necklace and specs<br /> -no makeup/perfume whatsoever - allergies prevent me from indulging, I also have no inclination...but would like to wear lipstick<br /> - stickish figure, A cup - brother described me as "hockey stick with hair" - really hasn't changed much over the years<br /> -I own 1 skirt, and 3 dresses. I wear pants/trousers/jeans 99% of the time.</p> <p>Do I qualify ? So glad you are out of lurkdom! </p>