YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Itari

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Itari https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 06 May 2026 19:39:19 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Itari on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-158017 Tue, 18 May 2010 11:54:32 +0000 Itari 158017@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Many thanks to Angie, Maya, Tanya, Marianna, agrace, Katiepea, Louise (again) and Theresa! Your every word is precious to me. I must admit that you all made me feel better; maybe it's silly, but I'm not really used to compliments and every single one boosts my confidence. I'm sorry to hear that many of you had terrible personal experience and distorted, negative body image. For what it's worth, I think you are unique, beautiful and stylish with no exception. I've already learned a lot from you and I've got more courage to try things that were outside my previous, tiny comfort zone. Big hugs to everyone! Theresa on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-158002 Tue, 18 May 2010 09:25:17 +0000 Theresa 158002@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Magda, I just wanted to send you some hugs. I'm certainly another one who has battled poor body image for most of my life (courtesy of close family members constant comments), as well as depression (I'm currently medicated), so can totally get your feelings. The main thing I would love to share with people going through similar is that we are all gorgeous gorgeous women, and we need to stop giving power to those people who have been demeaning in the past. Strangely, turning 30 was the turning point for me when I REALLY let go of most of it. For me it took some drastic steps (cutting people out of my life to put enough distance between us), a lot of therapy and finally just getting to a point in my life where I realised at the end of the day, I deserve so much better than being mean to myself. I sincerely wish you so much happiness in your future and can absolutely guarantee that if you hang around here long enough, you will realise how fabulous you are, and that increased confidence will radiate through your entire life. Louise on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157988 Tue, 18 May 2010 08:20:35 +0000 Louise 157988@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Another story to share. While putting together a photo board for my birthday Mum noticed there are very few photos of me from about the age of 15 to 28!!! I too had poor self image and ALWAYS avoided anyone with a camera. Thanks to YLF my self confidence has sky rocketed and at my recent party if someone pointed a camera at me I gave a great big smile and have some great photos to keep x Katiepea on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157982 Tue, 18 May 2010 06:28:28 +0000 Katiepea 157982@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Awwwww Magda, you have been so very brave posting here. Your post was raw and honest. I apologise that this post is so long. I hope you can bear with me. I can identify with you and your negative self image as I battle with this same issue myself. I find it MUCH easier to be very hard, critical or negative about my physical appearance than it is to be kind to myself. In fact, when I started posting on YLF, the ladies would sometimes pull me up too and say "Hey! None of that negative talk on here, young lady!" It was a jolt, I tell you and really made me rethink the way I write about myself on this forum. You see, I grew up as a child and young teenager being told repeatedly by a LOT of people that I was physically ugly. I would hear often negative comments about my physical appearance almost daily. Some of these "you are ugly" comments were even made by some close adult relatives. Not surprisngly, it really damaged my view of myself. Yes, being honest, I can see that I DID go through a "stage" that lasted a couple of years from about 9 thru 14. However, as I matured and my braces came off my teeth, I sort of "grew" into my face. Suddenly, at about the age of 15 or 16 I think, I was considered "pretty" by others. Even by some of the people who had previously tormented me on a regular basis. The problem was then that although my physical appearance changed (suddenly I was "pretty"), my emotional state was stuck right back at the "ugly" stage. As such, if a photo was taken of me (ha! as if I'd hardly ever allow that!), I'd look at it and automatically think "ugly". I was always genuinely shocked if a guy showed any interest in me. Why? Because I was ugly of course! I felt this way for many years and it was a natural part of my thought processes. I never questioned whether this little "critical voice" was based on reality or not. I only realised how distorted my thinking was when one day, in my mid 20's, I looked at a photo album which featured pictures taken of me from when I was about 16 - 17. These photos made me cry. Why? Because I could remember that when those photos were taken, I believed in all of my heart that I was so ugly, I was repulsive. But now, with the retrospect of time (which brought about a bit more objectivity I believe), I could see that in these photos, I was actually quite beautiful. It broke my heart to realise that I had been so emotionally cruel to myself for so long, way after all other people had stopped. It taught me a very big lesson. So now, when I post a photo of myself or have a photo taken of myself and my first reaction is "I look ugly", I remind myself that this is quite possibly my mind playing a little "trick" on me and it isn't as bad as what I think in reality. But goodness, that "little negative voice" is sure determined! Even now, many, many years later, with a much better self-perception of myself, sometimes my own initial reaction of my own WiW posts on here still provokes an initial "Oh goodness, I look butt ugly today!" reaction from that little inner voice. I then have to mentally stop myself from writing some sort of negative comment about myself. Sometimes it almost feels painful for me to write something nice about myself, because it feels more natural to point out the negative. Afterall, that's what my "little negative voice" has already done for me. So, why don't I do it (or at least try to minimise it (a lot))? Because I remember that day in my twenties, crying over the realisation that for many years I had lived with a distorted image of myself. I have made a decision that whilst I may still have that initial reaction (I think it unfortunately is pretty hard-wired into my psyche), I can simply "over-ride it" (like hitting control-alt-delete in a way!) and refuse to buy into that silly 'mind trick' any more. This is what I believe Khris says about "faking it until you make it". Yes, you are right, it is absolutely, very hard! I agree. But it is really very worth it. I can tell you that because of this action, whilst I still have those "ugly" days, I now actually have far more days where I can look at a photo (even some of my WiW photos) and look at myself and think "You know what, I looked pretty today!" It is a truly wonderful feeling to have reached a point to be able to look myself in the mirror and my mind's eye and be at peace with my physical self. I wish you the very best of luck with your own journey, Magda. x Angie on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157981 Tue, 18 May 2010 06:25:24 +0000 Angie 157981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hope you can feel the love, Magda. This love we hope that you will have for your attractive self too. Marianna, you know we think you're incredible. Hope you get through your bad patch and start loving your beautiful outward and inward appearance as much as we do. Maya, Lousie and Michelle, thanks for sharing your stories. They made my heart happy. agrace on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157950 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:23:59 +0000 agrace 157950@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Super late to the party here too but I just want to say you really are strikingly pretty. That was honestly the first thought I had when I saw your picture was wow, what unique and striking features. Your honesty is very brave and I wish you only the best moving forward! marianna on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157948 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:22:34 +0000 marianna 157948@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Magda, I really relate to your body image woes. I deal with a TON of body insecurities... but I don't like people to know how insecure I am. It's definitely VERY difficult to fake confidence when you feel absolutely ugly inside. I haven't posted pictures on the forum in a while because I am going through a phase of super bad body image again... it's no fun. Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I relate and it stinks! Tanya on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157944 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:17:09 +0000 Tanya 157944@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Magda, you are very, very brave to be so honest. You are beautiful and need to start accepting it! We all have different figures and struggle with different issues, but at the end of the day, we need to learn to love ourselves the way we are. Listen to Khris! You can definitely do it, and we are here to help you as much as we can. Maya on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157935 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:11:28 +0000 Maya 157935@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Magda, my first thought on seeing your pictures was that you have such a beautiful and striking eye color. In other words, the first thing I noticed about you was deeply positive. That's what you need to do! Notice the positives when you look in the mirror. Easier said than done, I know, but that's what we are here for. When I first joined YLF I was very much like you and had a deeply distorted body image. Believe me, I would STILL have a very distorted body image if I had not found YLF. You could not have found a better, more healing community. There are obviously things I still don't love and may never love about my body, but I can get dressed every day and be satisfied with how I look and yes, even proud. I hope we can help you get to that point as well! It is a very liberating feeling. Angie on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157930 Tue, 18 May 2010 03:06:46 +0000 Angie 157930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Magda, I'm late to the party, but felt a need to comment too. First, it took guts to relay the information that you have shared and I respect your courage. Second, there is zero tolerance for rudeness on this forum and I personally see to that. This is an extremely safe place are there will be no negative judgment towards you, ever. That is my promise. Third, I can already see a bit of self love in the time you've joined YLF. Congratulations! These are steps in the right direction. You have mesmerizingly beautiful hair, eyes and lips. Not to mention a gorgeous bust line, tiny waistline and an innate groovy style sense. What a fabulous start to style life! The only way you can go is UP. And we'll help you get there if you let us :0) Itari on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157822 Mon, 17 May 2010 22:27:45 +0000 Itari 157822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Kim, this was very nice Queen Mum on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157819 Mon, 17 May 2010 22:21:18 +0000 Queen Mum 157819@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Magda- I just want to say that I am sorry that you struggle with how you feel about yourself. Those feelings are real and I don't want to try to brush them away for you... I just want to say we're here for you. I hope that YLF can have a small part in you finding freedom from this pain. love and hugs to you ~ Kim Louise on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157801 Mon, 17 May 2010 21:32:56 +0000 Louise 157801@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I too struggled with Trinny and Susannah's wide range of body shapes and found their 'rules' way too constricting. I much prefer Angie's 'guidelines' and can do attitude to dressing. I for one would have never thought my thighs and skinny jeans were compatable yet here I am 15 months later with more skinny jeans in my wardrobe than bootcuts!!! x Itari on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157800 Mon, 17 May 2010 21:28:41 +0000 Itari 157800@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Rosie and Louise, thank you. It means a lot to me. I think that everyone who wrote a post in this thread deserves 10 boost and 10 therapy points :) The worst thing is that I can't look objectively at myself. Actually, my very first step was reading Trinny & Susannah's body shape advice. It didn't help me much, I was like: "I think I'm a Bell, but my thighs are the most prominent part of my body, so maybe a Skittle... no, I'm short waisted, so maybe I'm a Cello... no, I'm not, my shoulders aren't broad" and so on. Then I started to look for a different source and that's how I found YLF Louise on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157798 Mon, 17 May 2010 21:16:22 +0000 Louise 157798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Magda you are very brave posting about your personal problems, I can't even begin to imagine what it's like to live with. You have taken a very positive step in joining us here at YLF and I truly hope we can help you on your journey to feeling better about yourself ((hugs)) Rosie on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157769 Mon, 17 May 2010 19:11:03 +0000 Rosie 157769@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Itari, your response above shows an extraordinary amount of strength and courage. Reframing our self-image is really, really difficult. The ladies have shared a lot of wisdom above. I want to now congratulate you for taking the first real step in thinking differently. By hearing what people are saying and acknowledging that you need to change how you see yourself, you are making strides. As you know, everyone here is encouraging and supportive. I also think you probably have seen that people express their preferences about certain clothes or makeup in way that is honest yet kind. I cannot think of a better forum in which to set about transforming your mindset. I think you are a beautiful girl with a gorgeous figure. Hopefully we can all help you see that, too. Itari on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157752 Mon, 17 May 2010 17:50:37 +0000 Itari 157752@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow. Thank you, Jan and Michelle. YLF is the best internet community I've ever seen (and I mean it). I don't feel judged and I must admit that I didn't expect such emotional support. I must admit that my self image has never been good; I still remember some nasty things I heard as a teenager. However, I'm willing to change both my outside and inside; I do realize that I need to change my thoughts first. Michelle on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157702 Mon, 17 May 2010 16:22:28 +0000 Michelle 157702@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Magda, I also wanted to chime in and offer some support, which I hope you don't mind. I must admit that I was also struck by your negative perceptions of yourself when you first joined the forum. They made me want to give you a hug, because they really struck a chord with me. I've experienced many of the same thoughts myself, and years of entertaining them did terrible things to my body image. My weight has spiked dramatically over the past few years, and I went through periods of not wanting to leave the house for fear that people would spend their time staring at what I perceived to be an enormous, unattractive blob. IN time I came to realize that this was grossly overblown in my head and that most people truly don't care about the size of the person walking down the street beside them. I've made significant strides in accepting this, but my body image issues still rear their ugly heads from time to time. Fortunately discovering Youlookfab and the amazing women here has helped to keep these episodes at bay. Through their example, I've come to truly accept that looking great has less to do with your actual body and more to do with how you choose to present it. Khris notion of "fake it till you make it" absolutely applied to me in this case. Even if I was unsure of how I looked donning things like leggings, shorter frocks, skinny jeans and eye-catching necklaces, I gave them a whirl to see what kind of impact they'd have. IN pretty much every case, people commented positively on the outfit and my overall stylish appearance. These complements greatly increased my confidence, which no doubt improved my looks even more. Now I've reached the "make it" part of the equasion, at least when it comes to the fashion styles I mentioned above. Fortunately, because of the resources here on YLF, I never felt like I had to "fake it" completely. Angie provides practical advice and unbeatable day-to-day guideance, and the ladies here have a wealth of tips and support to offer. I truly hope you don't feel judged here on the forum, because I know for a fact that many people here can sympathize with your emotional struggles. I'm glad that your experiences here have already given you something of a boost through your bra fitting, hair cut etc. I hope this proves to be just the beginning of the turnaround for you. Hang in there, make sure to take care of yourself, and have faith that things will improve. jerseyjan on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157690 Mon, 17 May 2010 15:41:37 +0000 jerseyjan 157690@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Itari, I just felt the need to chime in here. I read the Forum everyday, but cannot comment on every issue, even though I might be thinking, "Well Done! Smart & Sassy! Gee, I'll try THAT." When you introduced yourself to us, I thought you were genuinely beautiful, but I felt that you didn't necessarily agree. You were critical of yourself and frankly, I didn't know if you were exaggerating, or just very blunt. Whatever caused you to lose self-esteem is very sad, and my heart goes out to you. However, with the right clothes and coloring you must know that you are improving your looks daily. This network of YLF with Angie and the others, is so honest and supportive. I just want you to trust in them and believe that what everyone is telling you is true and trust in that. So now be positive! and be proud! A smile will help a long way, too! (Thinking of Katiepea here.) Thanks for listening. Jan Itari on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157657 Mon, 17 May 2010 14:09:45 +0000 Itari 157657@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for your advice I don't want to live in denial, but I'll try to find something nice I can say about my appearance. If it works, I'm certainly willing to try it. Your family is lucky to have you! chewyspaghetti on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157654 Mon, 17 May 2010 14:03:45 +0000 chewyspaghetti 157654@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Magda- have you ever heard the phrase "Fake it til you make it"? I think this is what you have to do. I understand the body issues- trust me, I do. Sometimes the start of a change is to make a change in your action, rather than your thinking. Re-read a post before you submit it, and see if there is any negative talk. If there is- change it to a positive. Even if you don't feel it. After a while, it will become a habit- then what you say will start to affect how you feel about yourself. Give it a try! Itari on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157651 Mon, 17 May 2010 13:58:48 +0000 Itari 157651@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sorry for answering right now and not earlier, but it's because of the time difference between America and Europe. I didn't notice that my statements were that negative. I didn't want to start a self-pity festival, or to look like an immature, attention seeking person. I was honest - maybe too honest - about my body image. I don't feel comfortable about talking of my personal issues, so please, try to appreciate what I'm writing right now. I've spent about a half of my life trying to cope with major psychological issues, depression being on of them. I'm not on anti-depressants right now (although I were...) and currently I'm trying just to live a normal life. It's not easy. I haven't had a single day in my life when I was happy with myself. This probably sound a bit melodramatic, but I've always thought that something is wrong with me. Always too short and too fat. In contemporary world, obsessed with perfect body, I felt miserable. I don't blame anyone, I know that judging by appearance is somewhat subconscious. However, I don't want you to think that I'm shallow and obsessed with so called "perfect bodies". I'm fully aware what can be done using Photoshop and I doubt that my self esteem would change if all models were size 16. I could be a friend of someone who is less than perfect, I could love someone who is moderately attractive. You're right about my new haircut and bra-fitting. It made me feel a bit better, but the overall perception is still negative. I feel that people looking at me still see a frumpy, overweight woman. Sorry if you're offended by my thoughts (I don't know why should you, but it's better to be on the safe side). This is a slippery ground for me. April - thank you. Khris - I do admire what you've achieved! April on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157441 Sun, 16 May 2010 22:08:34 +0000 April 157441@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hear, hear. You can do it! Go, Magda. Go, Khris. Go everyone who's here making the effort to look your best... chewyspaghetti on "Itari" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/itari#post-157398 Sun, 16 May 2010 18:54:39 +0000 chewyspaghetti 157398@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I would really love to see you start using some positive language about your body and looks here on the board. We all have things that we like less than others about ourselves, but the negative talk does us no good. You've worked so hard to loose weight, gotten a great new haircut, and had a proper bra fitting. You should be so proud of yourself- I know I am!