https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 04 Apr 2026 21:03:48 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163989 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:55:09 +0000 April 1163989@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Woo hoo! &nbsp;&lt;assumes kickboxing stance&gt; &nbsp;Take&nbsp;<b>that</b>, closet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163983 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 20:51:02 +0000 rachylou 1163983@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good point, Beth Ann. When the fog burns away... bright and clear vision. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163238 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 04:36:38 +0000 Beth Ann 1163238@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just wanted to add that I noticed from my time on the forum that frustrations of the "nothing works" variety often precede breakthroughs in confidence and style.&nbsp; Be gentle with yourself and keep exploring what you like best -- silhouettes, outfit formulas, colors, etc.</p> <p>Your dress is lovely --- flattering and classy and appropriate for a special event.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163197 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 04:08:33 +0000 celia 1163197@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, you look young and vibrant in that dress.And the 'girls' might be higher than you were used to but from the outside perspective they look fine.</p> <p>We all have bad days in which the only thing that really fits is the couch, husbands that have no clue whatsoever poor dears.</p> <p>You have showed to be a survivor and a strong person. Maybe you are just on a phase where you need to be more spoiled(in a good way). Strong women also get tired sometimes.</p> <p>Don't be too hard on yourself. Big hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163139 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 03:06:54 +0000 Theodora 1163139@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LACeleste- Yes, my DH is terrific in many ways, so I will definitely cut him some slack :)</p> <p>IronKurtin- love that sentence. I think I will just hand him the script next time!<br /> Viva, Biscuit,om, Shiny Emily, Diana,, everyone, thanks for the support.</p> <p>SandyG- Really?? I am in awe of your friend. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163132 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 02:58:18 +0000 Theodora 1163132@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow-Thank you Everyone for you kind and encouraging words! I think I'll have to answer in more than one post!</p> <p>Abc, Hil, etc: Breathe.. Seems so simple, and something I always tell others to do, lol. So now I will do it too!</p> <p>April- You are right- I won't take any nonsense from my clothing! So There bad clothing!!</p> <p>Milehighstyle- Yes, the shoulder to neckline thing is new to me, as my "girls" we're age-appropriately headed about as far south as they could get before! Never thought to try petites. Hmmm</p> <p>Susie- thanks for the kind words. Sarasota is awesome and beautiful. Are you staying at a hotel, or a rental on the beach?</p> <p>SWAnn- Yes, breathe, and I really should post more often, just have felt blah and boring in my T's and jeans :)</p> <p>Credit, Lyn67, Kin- Thanks for the compliments. Made me laugh! Lol, what am I complaining about?</p> <p>Petites anonymous- Closet orphans are definitely an issue. Guess I will have to face them and post for suggestions.<br /> doubleteh- I'm not the only one? Really, you were late to work? Boy, now I don't feel that bad at all!</p> <p>Gaylene- gee, I'm blushing! And yes, I know DH isn't being mean. He does just figure I know I look good, and can't we get going already? Men!</p> <p>Gigi- good point. I'm not usually like this at ALL, so I think a lot is about other things going on. But some is about changing, and not feeling "me" in a lot of my things.<br /> Rachylou- hugs :). You make me smile. I love bows, and ruffles too! Had to give them up a while ago (well, maybe not bows on shoes, those are ok) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163080 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 02:08:25 +0000 MsMaven 1163080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look stunning. &nbsp;That dress looks like it fits you perfectly and the fact that those gorgeous shoes are comfortable makes me so envious I could cry. &nbsp;</p> <p>I have found that what I see in the mirror and what I think I see in photographs aren't always the true reflection of how I look--especially photos. &nbsp;However, as you can see from YLF, photos can be immensely helpful. &nbsp;So welcome and share.</p> <p>By the way, I generally have had a major clothing/image crisis every time I approach a new age decade. &nbsp;After a year or even months it usually passes. &nbsp;And in the meantime I do a lot of shopping and clothes purging and photo-taking. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life/page/2#post-1163067 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 01:58:19 +0000 Suz 1163067@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh....what an awful day. We've all had them -- and probably for less reason. But as others have said, you are gorgeous, you looked extremely pretty on the day of the event,&nbsp;and you have killer legs and shoes! I am sure it must be a combination of new body shape to get used to, the weather changes (I often go a little mad during transitional weather and feel as if I have <b>NOTHING </b>suitable to wear) plus possibly hormonal shifts affecting mood. But you will be okay, and this is a great place to come for support and encouragement! As for your husband...well...he may have been having a bad day himself. That is probably the best way to look at it, and then move forward.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1163024 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 00:55:15 +0000 Windchime 1163024@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aw, Theodora-- I'm sorry you're having such a hard time lately. It kind of sounds like a "life crisis", with your wardrobe/style being the trigger. I agree with the others who've told you that you are beautiful. But when we get in these funks, we can't see it ourselves, which is why it's wonderful to have this supportive, caring community. We are definitely all in it together, and we can all relate to having those awful feelings at times, although the triggers are different for everyone. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1163021 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 00:53:49 +0000 carter 1163021@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, honey. It's not you. It's everything else. Seriously. Sometimes everything just collides in the wrong way. I was where you are last August when I realized I only had 4 months left of my 40s. Things that were working quasi-ok before just. didn't. work. anymore. That's life. Nothing but a sign that it's time for some changes. I joined YLF in October I think. These wonderful women have straightened both me and my closet right out. Welcome! Looking forward to watching your style and closet evolve. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1163013 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 00:37:54 +0000 mrseccentric 1163013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>so much great advice already - that's YLF for you :)</p> <p>i wanted to add something. I have some chronic health troubles since i was in my teens (50ish now) which have resulted in some pretty major medical crises.&nbsp; Of course we realize that our body isn't the same after a big illness/surgery/etc., but i think that people generally don't realize that we're different people afterward, inside. That type of experience changes who you are, even on top of the shock and the grief of it, and it takes time to figure out who you are now and how you're going to fit into your world and your life. For me, clothing tends to be a flashpoint as it's so intimate yet at the same time such a bold statement to the world. Style and clothes can be difficult to 'get right' (authentic, comfortable, socially acceptable) even at the best of times.</p> <p>Give yourself some time. Starting off with even a couple of day to day outfits that you feel good about would be a great starting point, so you can at least avoid the major melt-downs (no fun). YLF's a dream place for that type of thing, just check out Angie's Mom on the Go formulas and her ongoing outfit formula posts for information and inspiration.&nbsp; And there's a lot of good info here on shopping resources and strategies as well. Once you get a kind of 'base' closet supply going on with good outfits for your day to day life, it'll be more fun to do the style experimenting, since you know you have your 'fall back' looks in any event.</p> <p>re: husbands. They can be a bit inscrutable. But he's been through a lot too, and he could have just been scared at seeing a vulnerable part of his precious lady exposed and unprotected. Who knows.</p> <p>But you'll be able to get back on track with your closet, i do know that :)&nbsp; It may take a while, but as long as you're seeing progress it's all good!&nbsp; take care, steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162998 Tue, 11 Feb 2014 00:18:07 +0000 Linda 1162998@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Can't resist chiming in that you look stunning, and that I can relate to the "nothing to wear in a closet full of clothes" feeling.&nbsp; And I, too, have a DH who keeps compliments to himself.&nbsp; I've got used to it, but boy, if I'd been through what you've endured and he wasn't worshipping me (some), I'd have a serious talk with him about that.&nbsp; Maybe he can work on being a bit more vocal or demonstrative, at least for special occasions.&nbsp; </p> <p>You looked great for the event!&nbsp; Probably DH just is as unused to your bodily changes, as you are.&nbsp; Chin up.&nbsp; You are among friends and sympathizers!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162981 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:58:02 +0000 unfrumped 1162981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow--you look great!<br /> Sounds like big stress built up and maybe also you're pondering a major style shift, maybe even subconsciously, and it's frustrating if you don't see what you may have in your mind's eye. </p> <p>Agree, take a breather. When you don't have any pressure to go anywhere, shop your closet again see if you can identify a couple of outfits in advance that seem more "you". Or parts that you like--say, jeans that you like but don't feel like you have the right tops, etc.<br /> Look at photos, and stuff on YLF.<br /> Make a list of your "identities" and different lifestyle occasions--mom at home, errands, sports/exercise, types of going-out that you do (movies or events with DH; dinner out with friends; church; dressy parties, or weddings; that sort of thing.) This tells you something about types of outfits you need to feel good in, in those settings.<br /> Go shopping just for "retail research"--not buying, but trying on new styles and see what items and combinations give you that happy, confident feeling. Take notes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162978 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:55:32 +0000 krishnidoux 1162978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look so good... but I guess we all have our days. Your post describes exactly what happens when we experience a closet crisis. Could it be possible that you are missing one key item in it, an item&nbsp;that would bring everything together? You mentioned the weather being warmer, it is often a cause of closet disruption. You may be needing a basic but it may be hidden by an existing basic currently sitting in your closet&nbsp;that is just not doing the job.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162962 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:42:07 +0000 Deborah 1162962@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sounds like a bad day.&nbsp; Definitely take a breath and take a moment to focus on the positives.&nbsp; I think you are gorgeous and perhaps you are still re discovering yourself after your surgery?&nbsp; Even with the implants perhaps you feel as tho you are now dressing a slightly different body. No real advice other than to say things do generally get better.&nbsp; Take some time to play in your closet, maybe you are about to go through a style shift.&nbsp; Thanks for sharing tho, and I trust you know we are here to support you.&nbsp; BTW awesome shoes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162956 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:30:03 +0000 SandyG 1162956@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Theodora, you look great and maybe you need to hear that OFTEN and publicly&nbsp;after your surgeries. A great&nbsp;friend has both a large port scar and large implants. She wears low cut necklines almost daily&nbsp;without anxiety over the scar showing. It's just a scar to her, the implants turned out too big,&nbsp;and she just gets dressed, makes plans,&nbsp;goes out and has fun.&nbsp;(Now, she&nbsp;is &nbsp;fortunate with her&nbsp;savvy, sensitive husband who compliments and&nbsp;supports her spirit and beauty&nbsp;endlessly. It's a contagious daily uplift.)</p> <p>Life deserves living and you certainly deserve to wear anything that tickles your fancy. I hope you lean on friends, go have fun, and enjoy YLF with all the clothes/shoes/spirit/emotions/achievements that multiply here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162943 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:14:16 +0000 Emily 1162943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You look AMAZING in that dress. &nbsp;No scarf required. &nbsp;The shoes are killer, as are your legs. &nbsp;You're gorgeous! &nbsp;<br />&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162939 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 23:10:55 +0000 shiny 1162939@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You mentioned time of life. I've said this before: I notice a direct correlation with how I look, how I *think* I look/feel about it,&nbsp;how clothes fit, and what I prefer to wear, depending on the time of month. </p> <p>When I'm ovulating I feel more confident, slimmer, and sexier. I gravitate towards more body con/attention-getting styles, brighter colors, and yes lower necklines.&nbsp;And it's not my imagination (there's science to prove it)--&nbsp;my hair is actually shinier/better behaving, my lips are redder, and my skin glows. </p> <p>Then bam... the fertile period passes and I look and feel tired, dull, drained, fat. I find myself preferring more fade-into-background neutral modest&nbsp;clothes with forgiving waistlines.&nbsp;&nbsp;And find myself&nbsp;staying away from the cameras, or hating every picture that's taken.&nbsp;</p> <p>If I was in a non-fertile window of my cycle, I'd have very likely felt uncomfortable and insecure wearing a cocktail dress like yours. I would have -- and have had! -- similar meltdowns. But the flip side also happens: if all I have to wear is a modest, neutral outfit for an event, and it turns out that the day arrives and I'm fertile, I'm not going to be happy either. I'll feel frumpy and wish I had something more flirty/sexy/bolder.&nbsp;</p> <p>Long story short, it pays to have both types of options in your wardrobe. It pays to shop and buy clothes during various times of your cycle too.&nbsp;And don't make hasty decisions about items you find yourself suddenly hating. Wait a few days and see.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162904 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 22:31:44 +0000 viva 1162904@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm just so glad you turned here to post when you had all these feelings. I can totally relate to turning away from a great day and just curling up with a book and cookies because of voices in my head making me feel like crap. We all hear them from from time to time. Try not to listen. You're smart and beautiful and clearly quite awesome -- and you have amazing shoes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162893 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 22:20:53 +0000 Diana 1162893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you are <b>gorgeous.</b>&nbsp; Seriously.&nbsp; And those are some amazing shoes!&nbsp; And comfortable too!&nbsp; </p> <p>And you know we are always here to listen and help, right?&nbsp; Take a deep breath and maybe show us some of the things that you feel aren't working.&nbsp; I bet you it's not nearly as bad as you think! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162870 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 21:52:02 +0000 biscuitsmom 1162870@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Others have said things much better than I can, but want to agree, you are lovely and have come to the right place </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162855 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 21:35:33 +0000 ironkurtin 1162855@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh my goodness.&nbsp; First of all, you are gorgeous.&nbsp; You look lovely in your clothing.&nbsp; And many 40-year-olds would kill for those boobs.</p> <p>You are not stupid, you do not look trampy, and your husband clearly had a mental hiccup that prevented him from saying what he should: "You are the most beautiful woman here."</p> <p>Sending you good thoughts, whatever it is that's wrong, it isn't clothing mistakes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162843 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 21:23:38 +0000 LACeleste 1162843@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hi Theodora,</p> <p>You really look lovely. &nbsp;You are very pretty and those shoes are GREAT!</p> <p>YLF is a wonderful place to explore your style.</p> <p>I am married to a non-complimentor so I truly understand. &nbsp;He is wonderful in all other ways so I try to cut him slack.</p> <p>I understand your need for positive attention. &nbsp;Theodora, you have come to the right place!</p> <p>We are all in this together! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162787 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 20:19:08 +0000 rachylou 1162787@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh I have had some clothing crises. Some total melt down doozies. The biggest was when I became type 1 diabetic. I could not keep my pants <i>up </i>because, right, you basically starve to death with no insulin. Total tears. My mom had to go to Target to buy me something to wear so I could leave the house to buy something to wear.</p> <p>And my wardrobe came to a grinding halt when I moved into the city from suburbia.</p> <p>And I have gotten so old I actually do not want to wear bows anymore. Don't laugh. Because I also have an unholy penchant for bows.</p> <p>Anyways. Wardrobes totally stop working one day all of a sudden, in my experience. You have a life shift, a style shift. Parts of outfits wear out leaving orphans. I don't know. Just one day, it goes kaput. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162786 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 20:18:04 +0000 Gigi 1162786@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Theodora, I think you look stunning in that dress! Maybe your husband is due for his annual eye exam that he did not comment on how great you looked? I'm really sorry about that. And I agree that the dress does not look that revealing.</p> <p>As far as the chemo scar, I have heard from massage therapists that sometimes scar tissue can be broken down through massage techniques. I've never had a scar that deep myself, so I don't know from experience about this. But if you are self-conscious about the scar, maybe it would be something to check into.</p> <p>Yes, we all have days in which we just don't feel good in anything, for whatever reason. I would just wait it out to see what happens. A lot of times, it's emotional stressors, or it could be that your style persona is changing. Or maybe you're frustrated with the size of your closet--for some people, a large closet is stressful, and they feel much happier with a smaller selection. Anyway, we're here to help! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162777 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 20:02:03 +0000 Gaylene 1162777@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Killer shoes and legs.</p> <p>As for what you think you see in the mirror, it's probably hugely distorted by your feelings at the moment. I think we all go through periods of hating everything in our closets and feeling dispirited at the huge chasm that seems to exist between what we see, and what we want to see, when we look in the mirror.</p> <p>Objectively, I see a very pretty woman with a glorious smile, shiny hair, and killer legs who would look great wearing a trash bag if the contents of her closet suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke. As for your husband's lack of compliments, if he is anything like mine, he probably just figured that you knew you looked good, so why bother commenting on a known fact. Suggesting a scarf might just have been a vague attempt to help you feel more comfortable with the low neckline.</p> <p>Maybe post some outfits here so you can bathe in the host of compliments you'll get from this group because I can't honestly see how you would look anything but fabulous. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162775 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 19:58:58 +0000 doubleh 1162775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with the others that you look awesome and look comfortable in the moment! &nbsp;I just wanted to sympathize about your breakdown moment. &nbsp;I have had those moments a few times and it can feel utterly crippling. &nbsp;(I remember one specific breakdown I had where I almost called in sick to work, and still ended up 2.5 hours late.) &nbsp; Not much advice, I'm afraid, just commiseration and many hugs!</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162771 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 19:54:48 +0000 shoppingisfun 1162771@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think we have all had days where we feel we have nothing to wear! The dress does not look that low cut to me, although a scarf would probably look nice with it too. Could go either way imho. You can always post some pics of your "closet orphans" for outfit ideas if you are stuck too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162767 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 19:48:54 +0000 Kim 1162767@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don't have much to add, except that you are the first 40 something that I've ever heard that said her boobs were up too high...not the usual problem for us women of a certain age...LOL</p> <p>Take it easy on yourself, it's just clothes. &nbsp;You're so much more than what you wear!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/is-it-me-or-my-clothes-or-time-of-life#post-1162766 Mon, 10 Feb 2014 19:47:57 +0000 lyn67 1162766@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>But you look freakin' gorgeous in that dress!!! As for&nbsp; your&nbsp;"too high" set girls...I can't believe this&nbsp;can be a real problem:-). As &nbsp;we age we all&nbsp;rather want "higher boobs" (me included:-)) even if it's unrealistic:-((..so think at least you are&nbsp;exempted of this one:-). All in all YLF, Teodora! </p>