YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Interesting article

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Interesting article https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2 Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 06 Apr 2026 16:14:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Carol on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2/page/2#post-2382470 Tue, 18 Mar 2025 02:11:39 +0000 Carol 2382470@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ket--thank you! :) Jenni NZ on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2/page/2#post-2382115 Thu, 13 Mar 2025 20:03:56 +0000 Jenni NZ 2382115@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Maybe she is saying be more relaxed about it, yes. The women in the let’s say under-35 group, or maybe even those in their 20s, do seem to have so much pressure from these trends especially Instagram and TikTok. I am generalising hugely of course. When I was in those years 30-35 myself having the 3 children and not feeling what was fashionable much I wasn’t worried about it like the author seemed to be. I gradually became more interested again and did start to look for things, and it was more financial pressures at the time that kept my purchases constrained. I have spent a huge amount of time thinking about my wardrobe since 2016 just before I joined this forum, and after. I don’t really think clothes have just “come to me” over that 8.5 years much. I have mostly looked for them carefully. The odd thing has “just come”, one beautiful top in a window end of 2020 with exactly the same green in as the 2016 sandals, which felt like that. I have worn it 75 times since. It was very expensive for a top though so not like your navy T-shirt experience. judy on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382103 Thu, 13 Mar 2025 17:46:30 +0000 judy 2382103@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Letting clothes come to us...what does that mean? Perhaps clothes "come to us" more than we acknowledge?  I definitely have the experience of clothes coming to me.  It doesn't mean an absence of being choosy.  In fact, quite the opposite. It feels like I'm choosy first and then the clothes show up..? I think perhaps this happens with all of us based on the posts I read here...?  We do a closet purge, or are aware of holes in our wardrobe and then, voila, something catches our eye as Ket said, on a rack or on a screen.  Need, and then need met. Some might just call this "shopping"  but when things show up kind of effortlessly it does give me the feeling that it "came to me"!   The latest for me was a navy t shirt in the men's section (looking for sons birthdays gifts)  of TJMAAX made of an almost neoprene like fabric.  Though I wasn't consciously aware of looking for that item, just a couple weeks prior during a minor closet purge, I'd said "I need a navy t shirt!".  As soon as I saw it, I remembered.  Oh I've been looking for you!  In the fitting room, it ticked all my boxes for fit, surprisingly.  And for $12.99!  Analysis and focus....and being choosy...played their part.  But the absence of struggle was what impressed me.  And it felt like it just "came to me", as I'd forgotten all about it.  It seems to me that the author's saying "letting clothes come to me" is just relaxing about the acquisition of clothes, rather than being desperate and stressed about it.  The right whatever will show up, sooner or later.  I guess it kind of depends on our point of view as well.  Is life happening to you or for you? as gets said these days.   Ket on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382038 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 19:17:33 +0000 Ket 2382038@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ But it is still good to be choosy, so that when we throw on a couple of things, we look more like the Olsen twins going to the store, rather than Adam Sandler. Oh, Carol! You crack me up! Truer words have never been said though, I heartily agree! And great thoughts, Suz! I so agree about some analysis being needed. And how influencers are in the public eye for different reasons than a professional environment thrusting one into the public eye.  Ket on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382035 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 19:00:04 +0000 Ket 2382035@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I skimmed the article while attending to my sick kiddo. I admit I'm feeling a bit uncertain whether the author will actually adhere to this or if she's simply exploring it for the sake of writing content.  Couldn't agree MORE with ANGIE!! I have learned so much this last two years after posting more outfits and having your feedback. And being more lighthearted and curious. Serious but not tooooo serious. :)  That said, clothes do find me sometimes. Something just sticks out on the rack (or screen) and I can't let it go. I know deep in my heart it will be wonderful. It usually is, so long as it fits well. Then I wear it to shreds. But I couldn't do that without having done some groundwork about what works best on me. And this approach doesn't work for the necessary basics, like panties and socks -- the "change the lightbulb" version of clothing for me. :D  Carol on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382030 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 17:55:33 +0000 Carol 2382030@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Star--high praise, thank you!  Angie on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382027 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 17:35:56 +0000 Angie 2382027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I finally read the article!  FWIW, a few thoughts that hold true for all people: <ul> <li>I'm the first to say: don't take the whole fashion and style thing too seriously! Keep it lighthearted, fun, laugh a lot, and do what you can to manage and maintain. Life is full of stress as it is. Don't stress about fashion and style.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Beware of analysis paralysis. It can be counter productive.  </li> </ul> <ul> <li>That said, you need to have some sort of flexible plan - or you WILL end up with a closet full of clothes with nothing to wear. No doubt about it. It's why I have a job. </li> </ul> <ul> </ul> FIND THE BALANCE :) <ul> </ul> cat2 on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382023 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 16:54:20 +0000 cat2 2382023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think there is a place for every 20 something’s essay about the first time they stepped off the fashion merry go round. At some point almost everyone looks at the next trend and decides to skip it. And then there is the question of what to do next. Some people have a sense of their own style and will figure out how to budget to build towards it. Some people don’t really care, and wear their eras’ sweats. My sister lived in those velour two piece things for decades until her kids dragged her out of them. I think the current version would be some joggers. Suz on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382014 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 16:16:26 +0000 Suz 2382014@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Nodding along to SarahDB's, Jaime's, Janet's, and your own comments, Judy, about "obsessions" or even hobbies or interests being both fun and -- at times, and for some people -- overwhelming.   I think the article speaks largely to digital overwhelm, to pressures to be perfect, to meet some constantly-changing standard, or to "brand" oneself, as Sarah says.  Whereas, if one can step back, allow intuition to enter into things, as Janet and Jaime suggest, and analyze a bit after the fact, a true personal style may evolve over time.  I do understand a bit of the pressure these women are feeling -- if you are in the public eye even to a small extent, you need to think about how you'll be perceived by others and construct a bit of a persona. But there's a difference between being in the public eye for whatever work you do and being in the public eye for ... being in the public eye (i.e. being an influencer). That difference seems to have collapsed in many cases or for younger women. At the same time, as others here said, we go through phases. I just hope (for their sakes) that these women don't obsess over baby gear when they have babies the way they might be obsessing about their personal style now.  Still, analysis has its place and I definitely enjoy it to an extent. To echo Jules's point -- I did "let the clothes come to me" for some years and it resulted in a lot of nothing to wear!   SarahD8 on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382013 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 16:09:37 +0000 SarahD8 2382013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ok now I have read the NYT article you linked judy and these two pieces are really interesting in juxtaposition. I wonder if some of the obsession with defining one's style DNA/3 style words/style as branding is actually a reaction to the firehose of trends? People are seeking something more enduring? But then that ends up becoming another source of constant dissatisfaction and consumption. Two sides of the same coin.... Carla on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382009 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 15:49:53 +0000 Carla 2382009@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ @ Carol said it for me, so I don’t have to! judy on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382007 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 15:41:30 +0000 judy 2382007@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, SarahD8, the passing and failing and branding vs creative self expression and fulfillment!  Being motivated by image rather than some interior (self) life.  I see them struggling to get there...especially the Gen Z article. But again, no shame!  There really is no place to "get", is there, yet another thing on a to do list for women.     SarahD8 on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2382002 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 15:13:45 +0000 SarahD8 2382002@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting article! It seems that she is critiquing the obsession with personal style as a kind of branding, and that does resonate to me. I'm not sure that I really feel the pressure that seems to underlie her critique -- possibly it's generational, or possibly I am just not immersed enough in the instagram/influencer world. I do think there's a difference between self-expression and branding though. And I think that achieving that self-expression, with clothing as in any other medium, doesn't come without some kind of attention or effort. (It's also perfectly fine to just not care about self-expression through clothing!) This idea of "the real glamorous girls among us are 'having great conversations with friends' and 'developing perspective and taste'" I think risks creating yet another way for women to Do It Wrong. Like if you are just out there having conversations with your friends, touching grass, letting the clothes come to you but it doesn't feel like your wardrobe/style is gelling, you've failed. When we all know that creating the appearance of effortlessness often takes a lot of work in fact! Nodding along vigorously to Jaime's post and especially the second paragraph! judy on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381996 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 14:44:30 +0000 judy 2381996@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Our relationship with clothes is so interesting!  Intuitive, analyzer, focussed...or a combination there of.  I tend toward the inuitive, but have benefitted and enjoyed some analyzing as well, and I approach it with some focus but also I'm willing to be surprised!  Whatever works, huh?  Even though fashion and style may not be that "deep", my relationship to and experience of what I wear is very meaningful to me.  I was surprised to read on another blog I frequent that when her Pacific Palisades home burned to the ground, she, at least in print, did not mourn the loss of what must have been a very big wardrobe.  She just started buying more things.  Though my closet isn't a large one, I'm am quite attached. Everything has kind of a story to it.  But I suppose in the face of catastrophic loss, one just has to let go. In the grand scheme of things, clothes weren't that important.   And what I hear in these women in the article is an attempt at letting go...of the idea of perfection, of being this or that in terms of style, and instead trying to listen and reclaim themselves (and their lives)  in a world of digital noise.  To have fun with fashion again!  I think the idea of "letting clothes come to you", is as you said, Jules, a relaxing about it as opposed to a relentless seeking which it does seem they might have been consumed by.  I have had my phases of this seeking, so it wasn't a foreign concept to me.  I am happy to be in a more relaxed place too.  Speaking of digital noise and trends, and not losing ourselves...not trying to complicate things here, but another article, and a few videos, this time about GenZ .  I share it to illustrate the overwhelm some people are dealing with in the digital space.  It's no wonder the pendulum has to swing the other way.  Hope this gift link works: <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/03/07/style/gen-z-trend-cycle.html?unlocked_article_code=1.3U4.RWkN.2HwwodClVgZi&smid=url-share"><a href="https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/03/07/style/gen-z-trend-cycle.html?unlocked_article_code=1" rel="nofollow">https://www.nytimes.com/intera.....cle_code=1</a>.</a>  Jules on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381985 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 13:08:40 +0000 Jules 2381985@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ One thing I’ve realized is that my ‘personal style’ changes a lot - it’s not a fixed thing - so spending a lot of time trying to define it is too time consuming and navel-gazing *for me*. My size (and now shape) also change so maintaining a specific wardrobe for the long term isn’t happening even if I did have strict personal style. I’m going to have phases and seasons of life - and I think that’s what the author is also experiencing. I’ve tried ‘letting the clothes come to me’ in a more literal sense than I think she means and that was not a good look for me, lol, with my mom bringing me random things she bought that didn’t work out for her… but I assume she means relaxing into it, she’s already done the work and can rely a bit more on essentials, intuition, and fun (not literal random flotsam of clothes). Mary Beth (formerly LBD) on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381984 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 13:05:47 +0000 Mary Beth (formerly LBD) 2381984@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bahahaha!  This really resonates - and I don’t even have toddlers. Not gonna lie, though - I love to thrift.  So I need words and descriptors, so my closet doesn’t become a cleaner and more elegant Goodwill v.2.0 <div>My word for last year was “Compass Rose”, but at some point, I stopped thinking solely about direction, and more about where I’d like to land.  So I added “The Neverlander” to my list, set up a Pinterest board, and created sub-categories.  I edit and add periodically.   </div><div> </div><div>It’s kind of Peter, Tink and Hook meet Ralph Lauren, and they all party with Versace and Blumarine.</div><div> </div><div><a rel="nofollow" href="https://pin.it/oOYjBU9y1">https://pin.it/oOYjBU9y1</a> </div> Suntiger on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381979 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 12:13:02 +0000 Suntiger 2381979@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm still on Team Analyze If I'm not intentional about what comes in, I end up with a bloated "closet full of clothes and nothing to wear." If anything, I'm actually refining further, from 3 style words to just 1! Star (Lise) on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381967 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 08:19:58 +0000 Star (Lise) 2381967@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ @ Carol.  Thanks for the LOL this morning.  I definitely would prefer to channel the Olsen Twins rather than Adam Sandler when leaving home.  Haha, wins the comment of the month for me. :). Jenni NZ on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381949 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 01:03:40 +0000 Jenni NZ 2381949@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ That’s great Angie about the engaged readership. It has felt like fewer forum contributors to me perhaps since you needed to make the “premium forum”. But I fully understand about needing to reduce your workload. I had to do that in 2020 when I stopped my “sideline” health organisation/Clinical Director job, incredibly almost 5 years ago now (stopped June 2020). I do miss Link Love too but it’s just like missing so many things that have changed since the once-in-100 years pandemic. Jaime on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381947 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 00:57:25 +0000 Jaime 2381947@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting perspective from a fashion journalist with a fashion substack ! I have seen this idea published in other places and I think it is a helpful-counter balance for a certain kind of perfectionist that tends to go into a tizzy about certain kind of social memes. So I would not be surprised if the author also drove herself crazy decluttering and defining joy sparking during Marie Condo's heyday. Which is fine - I am sure this speaks to a lot of people actually!  As for me, I enjoy analyzing things but I am a very intuitive person and the analysis is most fun when it unpacks what I already know, if that makes sense. And it can be quite deep; there is a lot of communication on many levels going on with how we dress. But it is certainly not necessary for everyone to be a theoretician of style to look good! Angie on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381945 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 00:50:01 +0000 Angie 2381945@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Judy, thanks for the article! I'll have a look when I have a moment. Just got home from working with a client. Judy, Jenni and The Cat, to answer your questions:  <ul> <li>Feel free to post links about fashion and style that are of interest on the forum!</li> </ul> <ul> <li>We are no longer doing link love posts. </li> </ul> <ul> <li>We needed to reduce our workload - hence there are three blog posts a week. </li> </ul> <ul> <li>YLF's engaged readership is steady and the same :)</li> </ul> Dee on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381940 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 00:37:16 +0000 Dee 2381940@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think having 3 style words or a style moniker can be quite useful for many. Although "personal style" does seem like the current big buzzword right now, I think there's certainly some merit to it all as it offers some guidance in a sea of style and trend options. Not so sure clothes "just coming to you" will always result in a well functioning wardrobe for everyone but I suppose it's possible. During my child rearing years I will admit fashion wasn't at the forefront of my mind, and yes then, clothes were just coming to me in whatever haphazard way I could find them because it wasn't priority at that point. Now, I have more time to indulge myself and I love the freedom that comes with developing my own personal style and not having to fret about what's trending or dated. judy on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381938 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 00:24:54 +0000 judy 2381938@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Lots of good input here!  I think the article speaks to obsession (in this case fashion) and the phases we go through about it.  I think the author and the two women in the videos are speaking to a pendulum swing in their own experience of it.  Because let's face it, obsession can be fun, but also exhausting and as Ophelia said, that existed pre internet.  And when we think we are letting go of that obsessing, and the exhaustion that comes with it, that can also be fun and invigorating.   Maybe like many things, education can be SO helpful and inspiring about style, and help us to trust ourselves.  But when we are bombarded with content about it, does it overwhelm?  I personally am glad that my relationship with clothes developed pre internet and yet I am also grateful for the internet and it's help!  I did like the advice to live more of a life and to take personal style less seriously. "It's not that deep!".  I am 70 (that still doesn't sound right!) but I think the amount and rate of info and trends that confront especially the under 35's which these women are, they may all be in need of relief from their digital world and encouragement to live more in the real world and to also get their style sense from that, instead of just influencers.  Lisa on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381936 Wed, 12 Mar 2025 00:14:43 +0000 Lisa 2381936@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Interesting article. I like knowing what my 3 style words are, they help me stay focused when I shop. But I can also appreciate that defining what those words are can be stressful and time consuming and sometimes life requires a person to focus on other things besides fashion. The Cat on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381933 Tue, 11 Mar 2025 23:40:49 +0000 The Cat 2381933@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ judy, thank you for the interesting article. Angie, I hope you read Jenni's PS-comment above. I miss Link Love. And I wonder if Inge is still at YLF. Jenni NZ on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381932 Tue, 11 Mar 2025 23:05:29 +0000 Jenni NZ 2381932@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ PS: Link Love seems to have stopped some time back, perhaps when the blog posts went to 3 times a week instead of every weekday. We weren’t ever told why (I think- might have missed it) but the blog and forum I suspect might have fewer readers these days. Just one of those things I think, life moves on. Thank you for the interesting article! Jenni NZ on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381931 Tue, 11 Mar 2025 22:59:41 +0000 Jenni NZ 2381931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Well, my guess is that perhaps there is more obsessing pre-children in what women should wear than there used to be in non-fashion-designer women? Before children the only obsessing I did about fashion was the 80s interest in seasonal colours (Carole Jackson Color Me Beautiful book) and perhaps trying to keep my hair curly when the oral contraceptive seemed to reduce the curl so I got a perm. Farrah Fawcett was my style icon back then! Star is right that I can’t remember what I thought about much 90s fashion with the 3 children born 1991,1993,1996. I think about 1997 I finally put my head above the parapet and deliberately bought a couple of outfits I liked. There was a lot of leggings and long tunics before that, even to the part-time work. So maybe I kind of agree with this article? But how do you just “let clothes come to you”? It has somewhat worked for my older daughter now 34 but mainly because she has been quite slim and friends have donated her clothes they have got too big for. Clothes swaps have also provided for both my DDs. Carol on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381929 Tue, 11 Mar 2025 22:38:09 +0000 Carol 2381929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I disagree! Works for some, but not for me. "Letting clothes come to me" is a recipe for a bunch of logo T-shirts and shapeless shorts.  Developing a personal style, whether 3 style words or whatever, is a form of personal expression akin to putting paintings on your wall, or arranging a bookshelf. The reason Iris Apfel and Jackie O are inspiring is that what they do is something we can do. We can pick and choose what style of shirt suits us, what glasses frame. Unlike IM Pei or Botticelli, whose creativity is beyond what most people can ever do. I get the  stress, though.  Sometimes personal style becomes overwhelming.  But it is still good to be choosy, so that when we throw on a couple of things, we look more like the Olsen twins going to the store, rather than Adam Sandler.  Star (Lise) on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381914 Tue, 11 Mar 2025 17:00:21 +0000 Star (Lise) 2381914@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think this is very real for mothers of young children.  I personally do not have kids but I recall JenniNZ and possibly others saying their memory of their fashion/style from the years as a Mom of young children was a blur. ophelia on "Interesting article" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/interesting-article-2#post-2381913 Tue, 11 Mar 2025 16:59:47 +0000 ophelia 2381913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Funny & I agree. Women were doing this pre-internet though, so we can’t blame Instagram! : )