YouLookFab Forum » Topic: I want a do over!

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: I want a do over! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 16 May 2026 01:49:07 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Laura G on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836243 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 18:53:35 +0000 Laura G 1836243@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes! to everything unfrumped said. Outfit creation *is* a creative pleasure in its own right, and has at least as much potential for happy surprises as shopping does, but for a lot less money. And I hadn't realized it till I saw it written, but yes, it's the hours of try-ons and outfit selfies that tell me that something just doesn't work for me. Either I can't make any outfits and can't imagine how I would, or I can make a dozen perfectly good ones that I don't want to wear. Which is a good reason to take the time to do that with every new purchase, before it goes into the closet.  "Outfit creation" is such a better term for it than SYC, which I always thought of as shorthand for "just wear what you have", which is hardly exciting or creative. unfrumped on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836241 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 18:24:20 +0000 unfrumped 1836241@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Allowing a percentage of " me time" on outfit creation-- aka SYC-- instead of shopping helps. It's " fashion time, so is creative hobby fun. It's a major way I figure out what to cull, since I can't seem to do that just by picking up the item. Instead I either see the flaws when it's on as part of an outfit, or see how I'm struggling to use it, or decide to wear it the coming week and then decide. Or I'll see where I've got off track on color palette which makes it harder to pack for a trip. Plus, it reminds me I've got loads of outfit options. unfrumped on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836240 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 18:22:09 +0000 unfrumped 1836240@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Allowing a percentage of " me time" on outfit creation-- aka SYC-- instead of shopping helps. It's " fashion time, so is creative hobby fun. It's a major way I figure out what to cull, since I can't seem to do that just by picking up the item. Instead I either see the flaws when it's on as part of an outfit, or see how I'm struggling to use it, or decide to wear it the coming week and then decide. Or I'll see where I've got off track on color palette which makes it harder to pack for a trip. Plus, it reminds me I've got loads of outfit options. Angie on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836210 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 16:32:39 +0000 Angie 1836210@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Two things: <ul> <li>NAS items are Fall & Winter - I haven't worn most of the items either. Nothing wrong with that. </li> </ul> <ul> <li>Set yourself a monthly or seasonal shopping budget and try to stick to it. Tabulate your purchases and returns on a spreadsheet to keep track of how much money you're spending. I've been doing this for years, and it works well. </li> </ul> Christina F. on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836171 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 15:11:23 +0000 Christina F. 1836171@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ While I'm not the bets person to give advice about this, I do have one piece. It doesn't have to do with shoppign mistakes but with overall spending.  When I set a budget for myself for personal spending (not bills or or joint things for my husband and me), I downloaded an iPhone app called Totalist. It just keeps running tallies or numbers and is not a shopping or spending app. I added the total of everything I spent just so I could keep an eye on myself relative to my budget. Works pretty well if a budget is something you use. Anonymous on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836163 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 14:53:03 +0000 Anonymous 1836163@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I like to buy and wear new clothes and not feel bad about being wasteful, buying in season is the surest way for me because I feel like I really don't know "now "what I will want "then". It also gives me a chance to identify and not buy items with details that are so trendy I'd be sick of them. I realized that I have never, ever, not been able to find something I want to buy, and that imagining that this might happen was a justification for buying what might prove to be a mistake. kerry on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836123 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 12:50:45 +0000 kerry 1836123@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Me too! I set a budget this year (Sept-Aug) that was too low. I was experimenting with a CPW budget. I made some buying mistakes shopping at a new-to-me retailer. I don't mind experimenting (leave no retail stone unturned and all that) but I should have experimented with 1 or 2 items rather than the 4 I bought. I'm still thinking of some NAS returns. I need to do Skylurker's outfit creation session for Fall/Winter to decide. This past Fall/Winter season I was trying to make a silhouette change but fell back on my old FFBO far too often and in my buying decisions, at NAS too - ugh! Does anyone else with cold winters find it hard to wear those oversized, long cardigans? I also find it hard to figure out what to layer underneath them. Does anyone have a % of budget they deem acceptable for mistakes while having fun with fashion? skylurker on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836095 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 11:13:42 +0000 skylurker 1836095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My safeguards are : 1- a budget for hobbies 2- counting wears : really help to see what I need, where are the holes or excess 3- outfit creation at the start of the season, before I start to shop : I need to try everything on, try to pair at least 2 tops with every bottom, edit what I don't feel like wearing again...otherwise I will shop without a plan I don't over spend, but if I've spent unwisely on mistakes, well, too bad, because that's less money left for better clothes, but I've stopped feeling guilty : the money was set aside for frivolous things anyway and I didn't expect returns. Tammyb on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836088 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 11:00:09 +0000 Tammyb 1836088@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Karen13- I literally just made a list and then took a picture of it so I gave it on my phone. Sterling- wow! Thank you for pulling all of that together. I am wrapping my mind around it now and trying to determine how to incorporate it in my life. Kathie- so do you pay full price at the stores with few sales or for you wait for the sale? Fahsiontern exactly!! Doh! Emily- such kind words....thank you! Jenni- oh yes I am crazy that way too! For something to do instead I may need to reload candy crush on my iPad! Not really- that's a worse addiction than shopping. Sisi- so god to know I am not alone. Thanks for the tip on the 30 wear challenge. Ledonna N. on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836087 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 10:58:30 +0000 Ledonna N. 1836087@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ A fast and even purge are great assessmentof what you may really need .you could resale donate tne things you do not love. Tammyb on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836083 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 10:48:54 +0000 Tammyb 1836083@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So much wisdom here! Janet- it's good to know I'm not alone in this! I like your idea of basically hitting pause before I actually buy an item. I think I will try that (once my shopping fast has ended). Smittie- I think that guilt has been the root of my avoiding tallying up the spending. I'm going to have to face that demon! Isabel- do you have problems finding things to buy in season? I feel like the retailers race to the next season so fast everything is picked through! Sisi on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1836078 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 10:27:41 +0000 Sisi 1836078@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I understand you! What helped me: - old Angie's suggestion to shop with a plan (check your wardrobe, see what you really need and stick to that) - identify the reasons that lay behind your mistakes (buying for fantasy life? for less dominant season? out of boredom? impulse buying? sales ?) - see Jenn's 30 wears challenge. I did something like that last year - sat down and, credit card bills at hand, wrote down how much money I had wasted in the past two years in wrong clothes purchases. To say that it was painful does not give the idea. When I told this to my friend she said: "You really want to hurt yourself !" Jenni NZ on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835972 Mon, 14 Aug 2017 02:36:55 +0000 Jenni NZ 1835972@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Tammyb you will need to find something else to do with your time, I have found that there was such a temptation ( now that I have more spare time with only one out of 3 young adult children still at home) to go into malls when I had some time, "just to look". I am not much of an Internet shopper except for making a wish list on my favourite shoe website. In 2 years I have only bought from there once, again that was sales goggles last November 2016 and the boots have only been worn twice. That was FOMO because the website said there was only one pair left in my size and they had 20% off that day. Like you, if I loved them so much why have I only worn them twice in 9 months since then? The new wish list remains untouched. It is partly to satisfy my cravings to look at new stuff. That way I don't feel I am missing out on pretty things so badly, they're fantasy pretty things. You might not be so crazy in the head as me Emily K on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835923 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 22:35:13 +0000 Emily K 1835923@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Your epiphany is probably worth a lot more than your overspend rachylou on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835867 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 18:27:25 +0000 rachylou 1835867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I must say that defining my style and identifying how much time I really spend doing this or that thing in my life has gone an extremely long way in upping the utility of my purchases and curbing my spendthrift tendencies. Kathie on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835861 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 17:44:26 +0000 Kathie 1835861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Others have alluded to this, but I shop with a plan. Now that my wardrobe covers my needs, the plan is often simply filling in holes for items that have worn out, or to turn an orphan into a non-orphan. I have also moved to shopping for my work clothes almost exclusively at places that offer sales only 1-2x/year. This helps tremendously with worrying about whether I got the best price. Stagiaire Fash on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835856 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 17:14:36 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1835856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ So frustrating to think you're being such a clever sales shopper and then later do the math and find out you spent a bundle! Anonymous on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835855 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 17:07:00 +0000 Anonymous 1835855@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I was a sales shopper.  Sales were irresistible to me.  Because I bought everything on sale with sales goggles fully in place. I frequently bought outside of a plan.   You might find this post hard to read because it contains parts and portions of different threads.  I tried to include the most important links to get you started.  I am available to answer any questions you might have and point the way to still other pieces of information. Following are some posts I wrote some time ago.  They might be helpful to you.   Several YLF Forum Members indicted an interest in implementing a PURCHASING FAST in February 2017 <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/2017-goals-the-prep-wor">https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....e-prep-wor</a>k. The Forum Members that expressed interest include Carter, Barbara Diane, Kiwigal, El Cee, Elizabeth P, RunCarla, Approprio, Joy, Bonnie, and Shedev. We all have our own reasons and goals for participating in a purchasing fast. I spent December thinking about my reasons and what I would like to accomplish. I also devoted December preparing for the shopping fast by stocking up on basics while they were on sale. That brings me to the reason I am participating in a purchasing fast. I came to realize that sales shopping is my achilles heel. I LOVE a good sale. I zero in on the sales rack every single time I enter a store. I go straight to the sales section of every website. I frequently buy sales items because the "price was too good to pass up." Those sales items don't always fit into my long-range plan (or any plan for that matter). My sales purchases are frequently the first to be purged out of my wardrobe. So even though the sale price was too good to pass up, it was never a bargain for me personally. 2017 Goal => Implement a Purchasing Fast to RESET my shopping behaviors so that I learn to recognize sales items that actually work within a defined shopping plan. Yes. A sale is GREAT, but it doesn't benefit me if I don't need the item or if I have to compromise myself (wrong size, wrong color, wrong style). This can be done. Retrain, reteach my brain. Make myself realize that even if the store is giving it away, I am merely taking it home so that I can put it in the purge box. STOP it now. A tangental shopping problem was illuminated in December => fear of missing out. I obsessed about all the sales and combining this coupon with that sale. It was overwhelming. 2017 Goal => Implement a Purchasing Fast to RESET my shopping behaviors to calm my fear of missing out.  This one is harder. There are times during the year that send me into a shopping frenzy (NAS, After Christmas Sales). I can rationalize anything while in that frenzy. I am hoping a Purchasing Fast will reshape that behavior as well. IF I didn't realize I needed it prior to the sale, why do I suddenly need it at the time of the sale? Again, I think this will be harder for me control. To prepare for a successful Purchasing Fast, I did some stocking up during the Before and After Christmas Sales. I bought the following: One Lounging / Sleep Pant (deep discount; didn't need, wanted) Two new Camisoles for Sleep (discount; didn't need, wanted) Two new Sports Bras (not on sale, but sorely needed) New Running Shoes (sale, always a good idea to buy when on sale) Nine new pairs of Underwear (not on sale, but sorely needed) Two new Bras (sale, needed) Two new sets of Gloves (not on sale; didn't need, wanted) One pair of Kut from the Kloth Jeans (sale, definitely did not need) Three new Tee Shirts (all white) (sale, HEWI) Silver Bracelet Cuff (sale, definitely did not need) So what did I learn? I learned that sometimes a sale can be an excellent opportunity to buy basics that I know I will use (lounge pants, camisoles, bras, underwear, white tee shirts). All of these were well chosen and historically excellent purchases. If found on sale, so much the better. The athletic wear (bras, running shoes, gloves) were not necessarily bought on sale. I bought them because I found them in the colors I like, in the size I need. I am extremely happy with my purchases and have been wearing them regularly. The Kut from the Kloth Jeans and the Silver Bracelet were typical of old behaviors. I found them on sale!! Half price!! I needed to buy them because "I might never see them at that price again!!" The fact that I use the word "needed" interests me. I really did feel like I "needed" to buy them. Do they fit into a plan? No. They were impulsive purchases. They kinda defy logic. So the February 2017 Purchasing Fast will force me to be more honest with myself. I am not committing to no purchases, I am committing to well-thought out purchases that fit within an overall plan. Athletic wear or a new bra would be permissible (if needed), a silver bracelet would not be permitted. The next very important step is define my "plan." I use the term so loosely, like there is a fully-formed plan. There really isn't. I do know this.  I need to overcome my compulsion to continue to buy bottoms while rarely buying tops. I also want to stop dressing so casually at work and return to a more structured, intentional work capsule. My Purchasing Fast begins this morning  <a rel="nofollow" href="https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/look-what-janice-from-the-vivienne-files-is-doing">https://youlookfab.com/welookf.....s-is-doing</a>. My goal is to deliberately and mindfully refresh my Work Capsule for Spring/Summer. My goal is to consciously work on my sale shopping addiction and fear of missing out. I will shop at the beginning of the season (like Angie and others) and I will NOT obsess about finding sales to get the best possible price. I will commit to buying at full price if the garment suits my needs. I will actively walk away from sales racks and close internet websites. I will shop the Goodwill for ultra-light-weight blazers and skirts. I will gently remind myself that the sale items in stores are on sale for a reason. Before I make any new purchases, I now ask myself the following questions: Can I wear this tomorrow? Do I need to purchase coordinating pieces?   What exactly will I wear them with then?   Can a reasonable cost/wear be achieved? If I buy this, will I still be looking for this type of item? karen13 on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835853 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 16:56:21 +0000 karen13 1835853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have serious sale goggle as well. YFL has helped me be pickier, and I have returned a lot this year. I need to take the next step and plan what I need after assess. I am thinking about hanging a clipboard in my closet (or finally learning to use Evernote easily on my phone) and writing down  "I need a __________" when I actually find a hole in my wardrobe when I am dressing. My thought is if I'm filling in an actual gap, rather than randomly buying something I saw in the clearance section, I will have a supporting act already and new purchases won't become orphans. Anonymous on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835844 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 16:28:55 +0000 Anonymous 1835844@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You were bold to sit down and add everything up and I like how decisive you're being.  I like to get the best price too but I start with the item and then search it on the internet. If I can wait, many of the stores I shop at have regular sales. I think of the sale price as The Price so I don't get caught up in imagining the item was somehow worth more than I paid. If I really need something right away, I figure maximum value will come from maximum wear not from a sale price. I don't buy out of season, not saying it can't be done well, just not by me. If I don't wear it out of the house pretty quickly, it's not for me. Anonymous on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835835 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 15:53:41 +0000 Anonymous 1835835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Yes, I have gone through the process of tallying up my clothing purchases for a few years now and every time it is a gut-wrenching shock. I feel a huge amount of guilt. So I decided to set a realistic budget this year that is slightly lower than what I was spending in previous years but is still within the range of "average" for American clothes-spending. That way, I am not so shocked at the figure, and I can say to myself, "well, other average woman spend this much, so don't worry too much about it". I do still feel guilty because there are better things I could be spending my money on: more extracurriculars for the kids, more college savings, fixing the fence...it's tough. Janet on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835829 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 15:15:17 +0000 Janet 1835829@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I totally understand! I've mostly done pretty well this year with containing my shopping, but I've had a couple of weak days. "Bargain" shopping is a definite soft spot for me, and I also need to watch my tendency to duplicate a beloved item. I don't do well with bans or fasts, BUT... one thing that definitely helps me is to leave the item/s in the store rather than buy right away. Go do something else. Run an errand, have a meal, anything. If I keep thinking about the item, chances are it's a winner. But quite often I forget about it, or when I think of it, the excitement is not there like it was when I had it in my hot little hands. If I go back for it and it's gone, it was not meant to be. But then, I think I've also made more returns this year than I have in previous years. There have been a number of purchases that only proved to be no-go's once I got them home and tried them on with my existing wardrobe. So keeping tags on until the first wear is essential for me. Tammyb on "I want a do over!" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-want-a-do-over#post-1835824 Sun, 13 Aug 2017 14:27:48 +0000 Tammyb 1835824@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I just sat down and listed everything I bought this year and how much I spent. Oh my gosh-- what an awaking. And not in a good way. I am bad about paying attention to spending but that is going to change. I WANT A DO OVER for the year of shopping! When I look at everything I bought some were definite winners. Others were just silly sale goggle purchases. Actually, a lot were. I am already making different decisions now. The Tory Burch shoes I bought at NAS and haven't worn yet? Going back! If I loved them so much why haven't I wore them yet??? I don't love them enough to pay full price. And then all those shirts that were "just $20".... ugh. My new rule: tell myself it's $100. Would I still want it? Other tips? From another thread someone recommended I go on a shopping fast. I will definitely be doing that!