https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 17:43:56 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203319 Fri, 18 Jun 2021 08:48:26 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2203319@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m following along. You know my moniker is the fashion intern because I’m here to learn, right? I can definitely relate to feeling dumber after learning a little bit. I never had clothes strewn about the bedroom or the feeling of “nothing to wear” despite a full closet—until I joined YLF. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203225 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 20:16:36 +0000 Helena 2203225@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think I have much wisdom to add, but Synne, it's possible that you are being a touch hard on yourself as your outfit are always so cool, and you are also so good with experimentation and trying things out!</p> <p>All I can add is that I get super-overwhelmed with all the things and rules and ideas, but I do sometimes find it useful to use these rules as a diagnostic tool - like, rather than trying to build an outfit that checks all the boxes, instead if you put on an outfit and it feels off, you could use this checklist to diagnose the problem and what tweak you might make to fix it.</p> <p>Thanks for this very thought-provoking post!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203224 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 20:14:23 +0000 nemosmom 2203224@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a great thread!&nbsp; Similarly, I have a closet full of pieces I LOVE, but so few of them make great outfits.&nbsp; I buy something because I am attracted to it - and it feels very right - but when I try to pair it with other things I love, for some reason it often doesn't click... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203213 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 18:43:29 +0000 Angie 2203213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b></b>EXCELLENT COMMENTS!&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Synne</b>, that's why I have a job, a social community, and can write fresh blog post content that answer, troubleshoot and challenge the musings here ..... going on 16 years of YLF and 30 years in the industry :)</p> <p>Style is a JOURNEY that has a temporary destination. The internal and external variables that affect our style changes over time, and therefore so does our style.&nbsp; </p> <p>Love wha<b></b>t<b> Jonesy, Jenn, Suz, Suntiger&nbsp;</b>and <b>Shevia</b>&nbsp;wrote.</p> <p>Nodding along with <b>Lisa P </b>- you have to figure out your priorities, and run with it.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203204 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 17:43:05 +0000 Synne 2203204@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you for all your thoughtful replies. I am devouring your comments, so much to chew on here! Know that I really appreciate your insights. Love this place! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203185 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 16:13:52 +0000 Suz 2203185@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Synne, as others have said, your outfits always look interesting and unique but if they still aren't feeling right to you, then that is frustrating. I suspect the baby may have something to do with it! It is a role change. A life change. And there are body changes, too. So we sometimes focus dissatisfaction on clothes (something we imagine we can control) rather than our lack of sleep or frustration or elation or whatever. :)&nbsp;</p> <p>Still...I really do know what you are feeling. Several years into my time on YLF I felt very similar. I had a lot of nice pieces and I could make outfits of a sort, <b>but either they didn't feel like "me" or they didn't feel truly stylish.&nbsp; &nbsp;<br /></b><br />I'm not sure what changed...I think in part, I gave up a bit on some of my aspirations and recognized I was never going to be that woman who looks great and feels great in X type of outfit. Also, my weather or activities would not allow it. So that means -- time to adapt the style aspiration and get real. </p> <p>And then I also learned what I needed to make my fairly classic style feel "me" -- in my case, it's a bit of energy, dynamism and brightness or playfulness, which might come through in a variety of ways -- juxtaposition, pattern mixes, colour, shine. There needs to be some energy to the look or it fails on me. So that is a "getting to know your style type" thing -- which I studied analytically, yes (through the style systems) but also recognized much more deeply by feel. What <b>feels</b> right? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203179 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 15:33:05 +0000 Zaeobi 2203179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well thought out post! (As an English teacher but also a fellow non-native speaker, I always say so long as people can understand the concept you're trying to convey, that's good enough for most situations lol). </p> <p>I realise that I struggle with many of these guidelines actually lol e.g. only *now* am I finally accumulating more *truly* breathable fabrics for my warm weather collection - &amp; I've been living in HK for 5 years already! My clothing purchasing still very much echoed my UK habits until about a year ago. Part of this may have also been due to a denial mindset though (I haven't been back home in 2 years now, due to COVID-19 Hopefully I will next summer though... ) </p> <p>Colour is another area in which I struggle because I like them *all* - I don't have a favourite colour so much as favourite colour schemes It's therefore very hard for me to be disciplined enough to put a colour back on the retail shelf because it's not in the right shade for me. </p> <p>Texture is another area in which I struggle, since I think I end up relying a lot on colour instead to add visual interest to my outfits (sometimes jewellery too). Lately I've been making a conscious effort to add shiny shoes &amp; floaty scarves to my ensembles though, to help counteract this rut </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203138 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 12:58:57 +0000 Janet 2203138@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I didn’t comment the first time I read this thread because I wasn’t sure I really had anything to say. </p> <p>But then I had one of those days that took me half a dozen tries to find the outfit that felt right (it is the outfit in my anniversary date post). I’m sure that the other things I tried on would have been ok, but they didn’t *feel* right — one felt too dressy, one too day/casual, one too warm for the weather, one too bodycon… I am very much a mood dresser, so an outfit that seems great one day can easily seem like too much or too little the next. I think that emotional X factor is really important, at least to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203115 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 10:01:33 +0000 Staysfit 2203115@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is fascinating and informative to read Synne. &nbsp;I am short on time and had to skim what everyone else wrote quickly. &nbsp;Maybe this is covered and I missed it, but I think it may be helpful to further emphasize the emotional impact of what you wear. &nbsp;Angie reminded me a few years ago that an analytical strategy might not be enough….I needed to add emotion. (When I dress my outfit helps provide a sense of joy, comfort, strength, etc) Once I added a balance between analytical and emotional, along with most of the factors you list,&nbsp;my wardrobe gelled and things pulled together. &nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>I like to stay current, but have found that many of the most current items do not work with my personal style, &nbsp;Instead of “current”, I use the word “fresh”which in my usage means I selectively add new possibly modern (or not) pieces and accessories to keep things updated, fun, and interesting, but not necessarily the most current or trendy. &nbsp;<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203108 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 05:56:44 +0000 Synne 2203108@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Jenni, I may have overlooked the importance of the glue. Wardrobe essentials. Even when Angie has been hammering it in and repeating it to us, lol. Glad Sloper explained! I think the expression is so funny!</p> <p>Jonesy, interesting. I don't think I have any items that are "just perfect" to assess. That may be a big red flag just there... It's like I know they are great, generally speaking. But not necessarily for me. Humm... I may just have realized something important here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203106 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 05:48:49 +0000 Synne 2203106@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Donna, yes, I realize this entire post reads verging on try-hard and forced. I don't expect perfection and I am having fun with style and dressing! But at times I feel frustrated that I have all the ingredients, and am following the recipe, but still can't bake the cake, if you follow my thinking What am missing from the equation?</p> <p>LaPed: interesting observation. You do look stunning in the outfits you've shown here, but yes, come to think of it they are mostly for casual everyday dressing. I would love to see how you would style for a special event! But are there any of those anymore....? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203105 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 05:42:43 +0000 Synne 2203105@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Aaand, I'm back. Thank you all for your thoughtful replies!</p> <p>Suz, how fascinating to see that your story is similar to mine. By looking at you and your fab style one could think you were just born with it! It actually takes time and hard work to look effortlessly put-together.</p> <p>Irina, you have mentioned your rules for dressing before. It is very intriguing! You make it look so easy and simple, but I could NEVER replicate what you are doing (and I have tried! ) Its like I can understand it intellectualy, but not put it into practice. Yet. Hope to get there one day! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203076 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 01:40:33 +0000 Jaime 2203076@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well first off Synne the WIWs you have posted have been excellent, so whatever you are doing is working! You seem to have a handle on your colors and your best silhouettes. To build on what Rachy said, effortless dressing takes a lot of prep work! It only looks effortless to the observer.<br />For me, having some reliable pieces makes trying new things easier. So if I want to wear a vintage jacket (and yes I probably do) it is good to have a "current" pair of jeans to pair with it. In other words, I agree that finding your closet essentials is key. Dressing for the weather, situation, and comfort are all more aspects of the appearance of effortlessness.&nbsp;<br />Anyway, great thread! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard/page/2#post-2203066 Thu, 17 Jun 2021 00:10:50 +0000 cat2 2203066@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to learn what my basics were, and actually buy them, in order to be able to create outfits. I also had to budget in more for accessories. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203064 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 23:35:32 +0000 Anonymous 2203064@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>To me it’s all about your priorities . It was always important to me to look current because of my job and the degree of importance fashion and personal style played in that role . I’m also not skilled at mixing and reworking vintage clothes mostly because I’ve had no practice at it . Now that I don’t work in fashion or retail support , this doesn’t matter as much to me , and I’m struggling a bit to find my new way . I like to think I know what I’m doing most times ; however I’m usually hamstrung by what I perceive as personal body issues ( things that flatter or are hard to wear because I’m x y or z. ) . I’m losing the plot here , sorry </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203059 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 22:40:15 +0000 Sal 2203059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Brilliant and thought provoking post!!</p> <p>It is not easy....and I agree with the part about looking "current" even when wearing non-current pieces.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>And I know when I have moved or travelled things that seemed right suddenly are wrong again:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203057 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 22:12:39 +0000 Firecracker (Sharan) 2203057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Synne, your list is well thought-out, and I can relate to it. I guess these are things I know, but it would have taken a lot of thinking for me to articulate them. No wonder dressing well seems hard at times! I would say that starting with item 0, the dictates of weather and activity, if something there changes in one's life, the whole question of what to wear becomes a new puzzle. You're back to square 0. So when one moves to a new location or changes jobs, or things like that, one's wardrobe will need some rethinking at least, if not adapting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203051 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 21:37:45 +0000 Sloper 2203051@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Jenni Z</p> <p></b>"Today years old" is a bit of a shorthanded, funny way to say -&nbsp;<br /><b></b>"I can't believe I'm this old and have only just figured "X" (whatever the topic is) out - am I silly or what?!?"&nbsp; Not meant to be highly self-critical - usually the topic is something most people can relate to.</p> <p><b></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203045 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 20:45:28 +0000 Minaminu 2203045@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>great post and very inspiring responses. Another point to take under consideration is that the clothes should not wear us, the personality of the wearer must be shine through the chosen pieces.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203043 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 20:39:30 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2203043@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Omg! Jonesy’s post just triggered me! The expectations once you’re a mom and then once a kid starts school totally shocked me. I remember taking a Kindermusik class with my son once a week as a special thing to do together, so I wouldn’t get totally lost in campus requirements and survival routine at home. Most of the others were sahms bored at home and delirious to see each other. If you’re dealing with that kind of split life, I can see why it’s hard! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203040 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 20:34:23 +0000 Jonesy 2203040@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is an interesting exercise and I am nodding along with your thoughts and other posters' insights. I think it's tricky because your list hinges on knowing what is "right" for you and knowing what you want (what are your goals, what do you want to convey, what do you prioritize in terms of your style, how many different roles do you have, e.g., professional vs. casual weekend, etc.). These two key things don't always fall into place intuitively, especially during times of transition and role change (e.g., becoming an adult, changing a job, having a child, retiring). </p> <p>I guess one thing I could add is it might be an interesting exercise for you to pull out a few really perfect/fab/great items from your closet and assess exactly what is right about them, and how they make you feel, meet your style goals, etc. Then do the same with a few perfect/fab/great outfits. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203039 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 20:19:27 +0000 Jenni NZ 2203039@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Also- what is “today years old”? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203038 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 20:17:30 +0000 Jenni NZ 2203038@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a great post!<br /> The “glue” thing has to be very personal. I have never owned a denim jacket in my life, and I don’t want to. Even Suz’s lovely Finds would not work for me. I own one striped top only, and over the decades I have usually had only one at a time because they are not an essential for my style. For me the “glue” is usually some sort of layering items that let other items shine, and bottoms that do the same. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203037 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 20:11:04 +0000 LaPed 2203037@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've realized that I can only dress intuitively for a certain narrow range of casual everyday activities. Everything else involves quite a bit of trial-and-error, planning, and analysis. You can pick out the perfect dress for a big event, but until you have the shoes/bag/whatever to go with it, you don't actually know what you're wearing. The nuance of support acts, and how they can dress an outfit up or down, change the vibe, make it feel more or less authentic and appropriate, still stymies me.   </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203034 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 19:58:48 +0000 DonnaF 2203034@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Don’t expect perfection 100% of the time. Don’t let the desire for perfection get in the way of life and enjoyment. </p> <p>Things change: Your body; your style preferences; lifestyle needs; whatever. It’s all a process so don’t expect a particular endpoint when you have *arrived*.</p> <p>Experiment! Items that you might never think to put together may in fact work. Angie has opened me up to color and pattern combos I never would have considered in the past. </p> <p>Lastly: Have fun! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203032 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 19:27:02 +0000 Synne 2203032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wanted to reply to you more in depth, but crying baby always throws a wrench into every plan :-D</p> <p>Liz, yes, great point! I understand this concept. The concept of building blocks, wardrobe glue. Then comes the challenge that there are literally hundreds of styles of denim jackets, in every colour. Which one will be right for me? Where can I find this unicorn? I currently have two denim jackets. Which I never wear. So they are probably not the glue for me... how do I know what my glue is?</p> <p>Joy, that sounds so easy and simple, but I'm sure there's more to it with your style! I bet you do a lot intuitively after careful studying and practice. Because your style is on point! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203025 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 19:12:20 +0000 Irina 2203025@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree on a lot of points here. I’m not intuitive, I created rules for myself when rebuilding wardrobe:<br />- choose main colors. They must work together. Add a few accent colors that work with all main colors.<br />- determine what are my essentials and have them in the main colors.<br />- silhouettes in my wardrobe must work together with only a few exceptions.<br />- bring a few trendy pieces and mix with essentials to keep wardrobe current.<br />All of it is very subjective. My essentials are classic items but what I consider trendy any given season, might be not so trendy for more fashion forward ladies :)&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203012 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 18:02:20 +0000 Synne 2203012@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Rachy: yes, I so admire those who style outfits consisting of old clothes without looking like time travelers. It can be done by juxtaposition, or by color combinations. I know it when I see it, but I am (often) clueless how to do it myself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203010 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 18:00:17 +0000 Suz 2203010@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Synne,</b> I really enjoyed this post. It resonates for me.&nbsp;</p> <p>When I joined YLF, I had not been paying attention to fashion for many years. I needed to build a new wardrobe from the ground up. And I would say that my learning paralleled what you say here.&nbsp;</p> <p>In the past, I'd purchased mainly when I found an affordable item that fit, in a colour that suited me. So I'd understood the importance of&nbsp; 1 and 2.&nbsp;</p> <p>Somehow, like you, I kept trying to ignore #0. LOL. I think it is because, living in a northern climate of extremes, I kept hoping the weather would change so I could wear what I liked. Except that never happened. Gee, I wonder why! ;)&nbsp;</p> <p>Intuitively, I understood the importance of 3, 4, and 6. But I had zero idea how to achieve that. I learned how to do this (along with 5, oh, and add a bit of SHINE, too, at least for my style) over a period of about 5 years on YLF. I watched what other Fabbers posted, what <b>Angie</b> posted in the blog, I posted a lot of outfit pics and paid attention to what I was seeing in the camera's eye and to what others said and what I felt, and I read the various style systems, and finally something started to click.&nbsp;</p> <p>I would agree 100% with <b>Liz,</b> as well. When I started building the wardrobe, after the hair, undies and other true basics, I built out from my essentials. I picked my key neutrals and started buying some fairly classic pieces in those. (Some examples in Finds). I then began a phase of adding more statement items.</p> <p>I still have to remind myself to dress for my climate and dress for my activity (at times) but I am finding this easier.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/i-just-realized-why-dressing-is-so-hard#post-2203008 Wed, 16 Jun 2021 17:59:28 +0000 Synne 2203008@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, Sloper. It is very inadequate overthinking indeed, but here I am. I believe this is an example of the Dunning Kruger-effect. Only now do I realize how little I know! Hah. </p>