https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 22:26:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1962167 Sat, 06 Oct 2018 20:20:07 +0000 cjh 1962167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Stays fit, this is a very good summary and guidance. I also like what you say about liking the therapist and personality match. I went to a few sessions with a qualified woman years ago, who in retrospect had some good things to say that helped me, but at the time it was so hard to open up or listen to her because in a big part we were not on the same wavelength. She appeared odd, frowsy, sloppy, in non matching outfits, and had her office overstocked with Knick knacks of angels, dream catchers, dragons, candles and incense burners, stuffed animals, Irish blessing and motivational quote pillows and posters... and more... whew. Later I got to thinking she should have had two sides to her room so a client could choose to face all the decor, or have another view of clutter free serenity. </p> <p>Just saying that even such factors can make it hard to relate and not get the most benefit from counseling or therapy, so It makes sense to take the personality aspect into account also. Another client may have loved her office atmosphere and approach. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1961910 Sat, 06 Oct 2018 03:08:40 +0000 Staysfit 1961910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The best therapy outcomes occur when the client “likes” the therapist. This doesn’t mean you always agree with or like what is said, it’s more about the personality match. There needs to be some sort of connection and or respect for the treatment to work. </p> <p>There are many types of therapy. CBT, DBT, EMDR, FFT, skill building therapies, supportive therapy and there are also therapies designed to help the neurotically anxious and to help shift problematic character concerns. The method used should depend on the problem that needs to be addressed and also on the traits of the client. Not every person can benefit from each type of therapy. May I suggest the best place to start is with a good evaluation by someone with a broad background to help figure out what technique would be most useful. Saying you want to do talk therapy is like saying you want to paint a room blue. What shade of blue? Most therapists master only one or maybe two methods of treatment. It’s hard to fix everything with a limited tool kit. It’s like using a screwdriver when you need a hammer. Ask who does the best initial evaluation in your community. It could be a psychologist or a psychiatrist. They are the ones who will have the broader background to help sort out your needs. It may be overkill to continue with them, but it is never wrong to get a thorough evaluation before embarking on time consuming and costly treatment. It’s important to be sure the right treatment is used. A good evaluator will have a list of good therapists who can provide the selected treatment. </p> <p>Word of mouth is the best way to find people. A good reputation develops in people who form good connections. See my first paragraph. Good connections mean good outcomes, </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1960610 Sun, 30 Sep 2018 17:40:11 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1960610@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, that is very different from what I had thought, and doesn’t sound as helpful in dealing with past events. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1960595 Sun, 30 Sep 2018 14:59:08 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1960595@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"It wasn’t that it wasn’t true; it just wasn’t often the point anymore."</p> <p>This. I don't know if it's really about rewriting the script as much as&nbsp; writing additional versions of the script that you can choose from, or just realizing that it is a script and you can diverge from it when you choose. (This metaphor has gotten away from me, I think.)</p> <p>elp, I found my last therapist via a rec from a friend. The online lists can be a good place to start too. In a way I don't think it matters that much - you can't tell whether you will work well together until you try a few sessions, so just find someone who seems decent, has availability, that you can afford, and give it a try. IME therapists are happy to refer you to someone else if it seems like you need something different than they can offer. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1960533 Sun, 30 Sep 2018 01:06:38 +0000 rachylou 1960533@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Fashintern, one thing I learned in therapy is that I had a script that I repeated all the time, regardless of present circumstances, and esp when I had nothing else to think about. I was quite boring. It wasn’t that it wasn’t true; it just wasn’t often the point anymore. The brain talks to itself, with or without you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1960531 Sun, 30 Sep 2018 01:02:54 +0000 rachylou 1960531@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’ll just second that I think modality and method are important to consider. It’s important to know what the aim is... like why does a talk therapist repeat everything you just said and then sit there? I am wary of people who make value judgments and don’t share the same morality. I’m wary of people who can’t define ‘healthy and well-adjusted.’ And I’m wary of people who tell you to get up at 7 am and be productive when you have a night job. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1960508 Sat, 29 Sep 2018 20:49:32 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 1960508@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz, I’ve heard that phrase “rewrite the script” as a goal of therapy before. I’ve spent the last few years trying to untangle the twists and just understand the plot of the years before that. It hurts me that I can’t figure out why some people did what they did, but at least I understand that they did it. How would I “rewrite the script”? Does that mean changing events in my mind? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958980 Sun, 23 Sep 2018 05:05:43 +0000 Gigi 1958980@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have much advice other than to say that if you are needing to deal with childhood trauma issues, I have been told by my therapist that talk therapy isn't very helpful. What is required is EMDR or other types of special trauma therapy. I'm just throwing that out there in case that is your situation...</p> <p>I was referred to the therapist that I see now by an in-home worker who was helping me with some issues related to emotional illness. She thought the therapist would be a good match. I don't know how I would have found one if I had just been thrown out there myself. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958869 Sat, 22 Sep 2018 15:42:38 +0000 Elle 1958869@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>&nbsp;I found word of mouth from friends/coworkers to be helpful.&nbsp; Also ask anyone who isn't taking patients if they can recommend someone.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br />If you know the area you are struggling with (anxiety disorder, depression, etc) try to find someone who has familiarity with that area.&nbsp;</p> <p>That's wonderful that you are willing to seek help.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958737 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 22:50:55 +0000 Greyscale 1958737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Suz reminds me of an important point - a good therapist will challenge you. A comfortable person to share problems with is important, but the best therapy will probably feel uncomfortable at times. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958692 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 20:06:04 +0000 Angie 1958692@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don’t have advice but am sending hugs and good head space thoughts. Xo </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958680 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 19:19:50 +0000 Suz 1958680@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Greyscale</b> and <b>Janet </b>give great advice. And if you have friends who've seen therapists, you can also ask for their recommendations...</p> <p>I've had wonderful therapists and not-so-wonderful, but the best ones have helped me rewrite the script of my life in profound and long-lasting ways. I consider the therapy I underwent in my early 30s as one of the deepest educational experiences of my life.&nbsp;</p> <p>Wishing you strength, courage, and renewed hope. Therapy <b>really </b>helps.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958664 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 18:18:23 +0000 Mochi 1958664@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have almost the exact same experience as Mary. Though I contacted a woman on PT and she wasn't taking new patients, but she referred me to the therapist I still see today, years later.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958644 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 16:57:20 +0000 MsMary 1958644@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I found mine on <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.psychologytoday.com">http://www.psychologytoday.com</a>&nbsp;and their therapist finder page. I screened by area and then scrolled through until I found somebody whose description of his practice seemed to fit what I was looking for. I got lucky and we hit it off! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958629 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 15:45:55 +0000 elpgal 1958629@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you!</p> <p> I don't have the bandwidth at present to type out detailed replies but wanted you all to know that I am very grateful for the hand-holding and specific instructions. </p> <p>I am going to spend some time this weekend following Greyscale's suggestions and working on this. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958596 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 13:44:39 +0000 Anonymous 1958596@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is a challenge to find the right therapist. &nbsp;I asked my internist for recommendations, and also my friends who'd shared their therapy experiences. &nbsp;I was expecting to end up with a woman therapist to help me with the issues I had, but the best one for me turned out to be a man. &nbsp;I did have to "try on" a couple for size, but it was really no worse than shoe shopping (sorry, couldn't resist a fashion analogy!). &nbsp;Good luck, there are some wonderful therapists out there and they can help you transform your life in amazing ways. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958570 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 12:49:33 +0000 Janet 1958570@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Greyscale gives excellent advice! I have little of value to add to that, except if there is some particular focus or struggle you have, it may help to do an online search in your area for a therapist with that specialty. I did this years ago and went to a wonderful therapist for several years who was very helpful. In fact, when I was struggling more recently, I looked her up and was sad to see she'd moved away from my area. I've actually been considering contacting a therapist I know who is an artist and works with a lot of artists because of some struggles I'm having in that area of my life. Like Greyscale says, it can be very helpful if you and your therapist have some common shared experience. It's why I always prefer to see a female therapist as well!</p> <p>Best of luck. I've been fortunate to have two long relationships with two very good counselors/therapists during some tough times in my life, and I know that finding someone who is a good fit is not always so easy. Going into even the initial screening stage with as much honesty and openness as possible will help you have the best chance of success.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958527 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 08:06:07 +0000 Greyscale 1958527@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh man. Personally, I think it's unfair that just when things feel hardest and we're finally interested in talking to someone, it's usually exactly the time when we have the least capacity for dealing with it. But, it's not actually that hard, just takes some time. Below are some thoughts based on my experience in a large city with lots of therapists -- I know it can be quite different in smaller towns.</p> <p>Most therapists will offer a free short phone consultation - they can hear a bit about your situation and you can get a sense for their personality and overall approach. It's sort of like a first date - you don't have a lot to go on but you can usually get a sense of whether you'll get along with the person.</p> <p>If you have one, or a few, or even dozens of sessions with a therapist and decide they're not the right one for you, then you can find a new one. It happens all the time. Don't feel obliged to keep working with someone. It's professional -- just let your therapist know it's not working for you, and move on. And your insurance won't care that you're changing therapists.</p> <p>Considerations:<br />1. Your insurance might prefer an in-network provider, so that might help you focus on a smaller set of options.&nbsp;Reimbursements for out-of-network therapists don't necessarily cover very much of the cost. In my area, very few therapists are affiliated with insurance, so I've had to pay quite a lot out of pocket to get a good one.&nbsp;</p> <p>2. Many therapists don't have time slots for new clients, so it can take a lot of calling / emailing to find one. It's worth sending out a bunch of queries at once. I wrote a standard email and sent it to a handful of therapists who looked reasonable. I used a similar script for voicemail. Something like:<br />"Hi, I'm Grayscale. I'm looking for a therapist and your name came up as a good option [mention if you were referred by another provider who knows them]. I'm X years old, I work in [career], and I have been struggling with [quick synopsis of your broad concern]. If you are taking new clients, could you please contact me at [number] or by email at [address]?"</p> <p>3. Modalities / specialties: There are a few choices -- you might not know what you prefer, and that's ok. This is why you might have to meet with a few therapists to find one that works for you. It's really more about clicking with the person than something you can discern from a list of skills.</p> <p>* Some therapists list specialties (eg, LGBT issues, or ADHD) but most are pretty broadly trained to work with many types of patient and many standard concerns.</p> <p>* Modality: the big divide here is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy vs more classic talk therapy. CBT is very popular, and proven very effective for concerns like clinical anxiety, depression, and PTSD. It uses a lot of worksheets. Classic talk therapy (I'm sure there's a technical name) is more like having someone listening to your concerns and helping you untangle your thoughts and your history. It's also very useful. There are other options, and most therapists use a combination of these.</p> <p>* PhD psychologist vs master's level MFT/LCSW vs MD psychiatrist: Psychiatrists are overkill for most concerns. I used to prefer people with PhDs because they could relate to my own career path, but I've realized it doesn't actually make a difference, and I've had better luck with MFT/LCSW (MFT is marriage and family therapy but they often do individual therapy also).</p> <p>psychologytoday.com is a commercial site but it does have a pretty large directory of therapists, with info about their approach, specialties, availability, and insurance. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-to-find-a-therapist#post-1958460 Fri, 21 Sep 2018 01:38:28 +0000 elpgal 1958460@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>. </p>