https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 09:11:38 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369715 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 21:42:54 +0000 Cilleena 369715@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I care very much what other people think. I dress to please myself, my husband, to set a good example for my children, and other people (such as other parents at my children's school, teachers and friends). I have found that people respond differently to me if I am well turned out, not super dressy, but thoughtfully and fashionably dressed. This was extremely important in the south, in suburbia where other moms wouldn't give me the time of day if I wasn't dressed a certain way. Same with going to stores, salespeople respond so much more respectfully if you are dressed in a way that says you care about how you look. </p> <p>In the rural Northeast US, it's not nearly a important and sometimes I have to be careful because I don't want to be thought of as "stuck up". I am quiet by nature and have to work hard to make conversation with other parents. In the south, it would be better to be well dressed and thought of as "stuck up" rather than shy. In rural Maine, it's probably better to be thought of as shy than "stuck up". But, I'd really like to be considered confident, polished, organized, youthful and a little fun. I generally do not feel any of those things, so dressing helps me to get there. Turning 40 also threw in the wanting to look more youthful for me and not like I had just given up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369620 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 17:03:00 +0000 Anonymous 369620@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Go Team Apfel! *high fives MaryK* </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369619 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 17:01:53 +0000 Janet 369619@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>First of all, Michelle, you are awesome. </p> <p>Alicat, I love that concept -- I think that sums me up! On first reaction, I know that I'm vain enough that I care very much. I have always been self-conscious about my appearance, and I do try to look "my best" whether it's hair style, clothing, or my weight and body size. Even though I have always enjoyed fashion and shopping, I've taken a renewed interest in how I dress my body in the last six months, and of course I want people to see me in a positive light.</p> <p>On the other hand, I work in two worlds that could care less about how one looks: art and radio. I could throw on sweats and a tee every single day and no one would say boo. In fact, I get comments at the radio station about how dressed up I am. And that's wearing a sundress and wedges. I'm definitely bucking the norm in my environment, and I don't care, because I feel better about myself leaving the house a little overdressed than I would if I blended in and looked more like a slob. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369612 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 16:47:39 +0000 MsMary 369612@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well, okay then. To the question as re-phrased:</p> <p>Do we dress to fit in, or to stand out, or as we please?</p> <p>At work I do both: I dress to fit in by wearing the expected "uniform" of what I call Business Almost Formal, and also to stand out by doing it more colorfully and fashionably than the norm. </p> <p>Elsewhere, dress as I please and sometimes I stand out and sometimes I fit right in, which is completely okay with me. And yeah, I always want everybody to think I look great.</p> <p>ETA: Yes! Team Iris Apfel! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369585 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 15:51:10 +0000 Maya 369585@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Of course I care what other people think. People are going to judge me no matter what. I may as well use my clothes to inform how they judge me, and if I wasn't successful at that, I would be disappointed. </p> <p>That said, are very few people in the world who can actually make or break an outfit for me. These people are typically those who are close to me and whose style I admire. I have to admit when one of those people told me they weren't a fan of my big soft tunic blouse, I stopped wearing it the way I used to. I still wear it, but in different ways, and less frequently. This is very rare though. Generally, I will consider the opinions of this select group, and most of the time, I will conclude that oh well, I'm wearing it anyway.</p> <p>OTOH, I just can't take the opinion of someone who isn't particularly stylish themselves seriously. It's like me, a vegetarian, giving someone advice on how to cook a steak. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369578 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 15:40:30 +0000 Jonesy 369578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do care about how I'm perceived, but I don't allow my environmental norm to dictate how I should dress. When I'm in the classroom, I want to convey authority. Now that I have tenure and I'm older, I feel like I can loosen up a bit and still be perceived as authoritative. Outside of the classroom, I dress more unconventionally for work, but still professionally. I get stared at sometimes when I'm dressed up and out and about, because I'm tall, but I have learned not to let it bother me...I still wear heels and just go for it!</p> <p>I love that you wore your sequined skirt during the daytime, for running around town! How thrilling to be able to be yourself and experiment a bit! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369531 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 13:07:34 +0000 Anonymous 369531@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am nuts for fashion icon Iris Apfel, and I remember once she said something along the lines of: You have to care a lot and not give a damn, both at the same time. (I'm paraphrasing--I'm sure she said it better!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369488 Sun, 19 Jun 2011 08:37:47 +0000 catgirl 369488@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, I can count on you all to take a discussion far and deep! I love it!</p> <p>My original question had more to do with my sequin outfit, but I see that it was not phrased specifically enough. As several have pointed out, there are multiple aspects to this line of thought, such as:</p> <p>- whom do you dress to please?<br /> - how do current conventions affect your style choices?<br /> - how do you react to negative feedback?<br /> - do you strive to project a particular image?</p> <p>And many more subtleties that have been raised. </p> <p>I am revising my answer to say, yes, I care what people think of how I'm dressed, in the sense that I'm pleased to get compliments and take genuine critique seriously. But I do try harder now to dress in what makes ME happy when I don't have a specific audience (such as the court) in mind, no matter how odd or different it makes me look in public.</p> <p>The underlying assumption is that we all care about what we look like, or we wouldn't be here on this forum, as Angie said. I guess my original question was directed particularly toward others who feel out of step with the norm in their community, and how much those norms affect what they choose to wear. Do we dress to fit in, or to stand out, or as we please? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369341 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 22:30:19 +0000 Aziraphale 369341@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So, I think the bottom line is, most of us care quite a bit about how we look in our clothes, because otherwise why would we be interested in a fashion forum; but on the other hand, many of us don't care too much about conforming to the environmental norm....especially if defying the environmental norm means dressing up a bit compared to those around us. Although it looks like I'm not necessarily in the "dressing up" camp myself. :-)</p> <p>Angie: you're quite right, it's a cultural thing. It might even be a west coast thing. I've only lived in Vancouver and California, and in both those places, kids don't wear button-downs all that much, with the exception of the relatively few kids whose parents pay for them to attend private school. And even those private school kids are not wearing their kilts and button-downs on the weekends -- they're in jeans and tee shirts, like everyone else. But my English cousins wear them all the time, as part of their school uniforms, and of course nearly all the kids over there have school uniforms, whether their parents pay for their education or not.</p> <p>Suz: "semiotician" -- I had to look it up. Thanks for the compliment!</p> <p>Patty: car-on-fire analogy -- hilarious! You crack me up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369305 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 21:37:42 +0000 Ornella 369305@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Patty, you are so funny (part 1 of your reply).</p> <p>As for not being promoted over well dressed chicks... I think it was not about their clothes, but their general attitude towards business and how they saw themselves in that world - climbing the ladder being reflected in what they wore. The clothes were just a byproduct of networking or skills they had (or a cover for the skills they did not have) in order to get them where they wanted to be. That's my opinion and partly my experience.<br /> If you love your job AND know you're good at it, you're happy just to do it, nothing more nothing less. You enjoy being good at something, no hidden agenda. Which makes you, generally, a minority. No games playing, just doing your job. It doesn't work that way, which I myself also learnt the hard way. But, that's for another thread. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369288 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 21:15:22 +0000 Patty 369288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I drive a 42 yr old Volkswagen Beetle, a car that has a reputation for catching fire. If ever I'm approached by someone who asks if that's my car I ALWAYS look to see if it's on fire before anything. It's kinda the same thing with me, my starting point looks and what I wear---I have had many poor (perceived and honest) comments/reactions despite being pretty modest and introverted that I automatically think I'm on fire in a bad way. If and when someone looks at me and I feel conspicuous and ugly where I feel like I should have just stayed home. So yeah--I care what people think. And here's the 'but'--I don't want my kids to have this experience and have been trying to branch out --I've basically faced some of my obstacle people in the skirts I never wore before and the now reddish hair just to have it over with--but I don't know what they think--nothing's said so I can only hope that no news is good news and I got to get over it maybe but that's pretty hard--I'm still knotted up from the trip to Mc Donald's today--can you tell???<br /> Oh and as far as work--I was not liked much at work by the upper echelon. (I was very good at what I did and I know that!) I did not get promotions or bonuses like trips to deliver films abroad like the well dressed chicks on the floor-coordinators and srtists alike. I had a sit down job true but I was not going to be hobbled in my time sensitive job by my clothes. I needed to basically run the distance between three buildings and carry cases of xerox paper and make repairs to said xerox copiers --doing it in good clothes/shoes would have been ridiculous but that was never seen by management. When a new woman came in and dressed in skirts and blouses she was just respected more---I learned what you dressed like in that environment was given more clout and carried the assumption they were doing a better job. I didn't care what management thought--I loved my job and my people and my work--but I sure could have used the respect!<br /> Did I answer the question? Duh? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369285 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 21:06:00 +0000 Ornella 369285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The more answers I read, the more I think there's more levels to this question than I had initially understood it.</p> <p>My first response is very much in line with something I talked about on another thread months ago - <a href="http://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/style-how-much-is-about-whats-in-the-head">that style is in the head</a>. Or, generally, it's all about confidence, knowing yourself and knowing why we wear something (in my case - literally why and how some combinations came about).</p> <p>That's something I've been thinking about these days again. From the point of checking the reaction of others to know if I got it right - I still say I don't care. Even when my husband is not to keen on something I put together, instead of feeling disappointed, I'm a lot more cool about it - because I feel I know myself better and why I present(ed) myself in a certain way.</p> <p>I'm aware that my choice of words - presented myself - indicates there is a level of caring about what others think. True. In this week's WIW I've shown the outfit I wore to the parents' meeting at school - deliberately put tougher to present me as someone who'll take things school related seriously. I did want to send that message - yes. But, I return to the "not care" bit - I came up with the best thing I could for the occasion and did not care about whether others really perceived me like that or not - because I did the best I could and felt good about that.</p> <p>As for appearing on YLF and perceptions by *the others* here - that to me is a different world altogether. In the outside world I'm on my own and have reached levels of dressing confidence thanks to - to a huge extent - caring about what others say here. </p> <p>To sum it up, I will always care about reactions in the sense that I will dress ocacsion/time/place appropriate, but do not care about reactions to know I got right or wrong. On YLF, I ask for the feedback, so I do care and will care as long as I'm here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369271 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 20:49:29 +0000 nicoleb 369271@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think a lot of times what i feel is frustration. Friends and family members often comment upon what i'm wearing, a lot of times in a mocking tone. Towns people give me frowning looks. It's not going to stop me from wearing what i want but sometimes i just want to...I don't know, shout out snotty comments back? Point out that just because you're wearing what everyone else is doesn't mean you look good? I just sometimes get tired from "defending" myself and i don't feel like i should have to do that when i don't make a habit to attack others personal style choices. </p> <p>But like i've said before, this is why i L-O-V-E it here! &lt;3 The feedback i get from this forum- the encouraging and amazingly kind comments just makes my day, my week, my month. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369262 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 20:33:34 +0000 Suz 369262@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a fascinating thread. </p> <p>Michelle, what Elizabeth and Angie said is absolutely true. You are an inspiration. </p> <p>And Elizabeth, you're a brilliant semiotician of fashion! </p> <p>I think I am similar to Angie in that I do not care whether I am wearing what everybody else is wearing. As long as I am wearing something I love and feel great in, and that allows me to participate in whatever activity I'm engaged in with comfort and ease, it doesn't bother me if I am more (or less) dressed up than others. </p> <p>But of course I DO care what image I present. </p> <p>The tricky part is that I don't always know! I am sure that, wearing the same outfit, I come across differently to different people. It all depends on THEIR situation and fashion sense. What looks crisp to me might look uptight to them; what looks arty to me might look boring to them; what looks fun to me might look silly to them, and so on. </p> <p>In the end I think we have to please ourselves, but it does help to have a community like this one! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others/page/2#post-369195 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 18:51:59 +0000 Angie 369195@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>High Five, Mary! There is *nothing* wrong with wanting everybody to think that you look great - and of course, we all do so aren't you a lucky and fabulous fish </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-369191 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 18:49:28 +0000 Lisa 369191@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I care a lot. Maybe not enough to change everything I wear or do but certainly enough to want to avoid criticism at times. Wearing a scarf to work recently I had a lot of comments, if there had been only one or two, I'd probably wear one again and not worry about it. But when you feel like you have to defend yourself all day long, you wonder if it's worth it to wear the item in question. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-369189 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 18:47:12 +0000 MsMary 369189@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I want to change my answer.</p> <p>Angie's right.</p> <p>I TOTALLY CARE!!!</p> <p>I TOTALLY WANT EVERYBODY TO THINK I LOOK GREAT!!!</p> <p>Ahem.</p> <p>Carry on. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-369185 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 18:38:56 +0000 Angie 369185@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was an interesting read! I actually think that the people on this forum, who say they care very little, care a lot more than they might expect to care. Otherwise, why would you expend the time and energy that you do here on YLF :)</p> <p>Michelle, your comment brings heartfelt happy tears to my eyes. You just rock in EVERY WAY. </p> <p>*Of course* I care what others think of my outfits - that being said, I totally defy my environmental norm, so how much I really care is a debatable point. I must talk my talk wherever I am - shopping with clients, doing the errand run, working at home or traveling. This is extremely important to me and YLF. </p> <p>Elisabeth, Sally's perception of button down shirts is completely cultural (no school uniforms). When you grow up in the British schooling system, all kids and adolescents wear button downs for a good 12 years of their life. Food for thought! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368882 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 05:04:10 +0000 Aziraphale 368882@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>And you know what, Michelle? You're doing a fantastic job of helping dispel any stereotypes. You look lovely, polished and pulled-together in all the pictures I've seen of you, and I am very impressed, especially given that you are unable to do something that we all rely so heavily on and take for granted. You go, girl.</p> <p>I have to add that your thoughtfully-worded comments often showcase your intelligence and insight. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368881 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 04:57:49 +0000 Michelle 368881@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I must confess that I care a great deal about how others perceive my looks. I can explain why, and it goes back to Elizabeth's point.<br /> As a member of a visible minority, speicifically one with an obvious disability, I've had to get used to facing stereotypes on a regular basis. The fact that I am now overweight frankly plays into one of the most prevalent stereotypes, i.e. that blind people are either lazy or just generally inactive. Common assumptions state that those people will then put as little effort into their appearance as they do into their health (I'm not making this up, I've met people who think like this). Every day, I dress in a way to try and counter that image. I want to appear polished, not slovenly. I want to look current in order to send the message that I know how to keep pace with the sighted world and interact with it appropriately. I want to look confident, because I don't always feel that way and it's a key message to communicate in both my circumstances and my profession. And I want to look sophisticated and classy because that's my personal preference. These qualities all make it difficult to introduce youthful elements sometimes, but I care about that too. I'm only 30, and I don't want to look older than I already do due to my weight. In short, I turn to my clothes to help restore some balance to my public perception. Since that perception drives my choices, it stands to reason that I'm unusually pleased by complements and surprisingly stung by harsh criticism, particularly from loved ones. YouLookFab has been the best thing to ever happen to my style -- it's only since finding this forum that I've discovered the joys of dressing in a way that makes me feel good first. With your guidance, I can be sure that if it feels right for me, it probably looks that way too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368879 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 04:41:38 +0000 Aziraphale 368879@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hey! I just thought of a neat thought experiment -- sort of a reverse one. I'm not a complete stranger to people on this forum, either, but I've never posted a picture of myself. Malina (or anyone else), based on what you know about me, could you take a guess at what I might wear out to a casual dinner with my honey on a Saturday night? Assume it's late spring in the Pacific northwest, so probably the same temperature as midwinter in Florida. I'm 38, white as white can be, short, and I have a youthful figure. Feel free to guess about hair, jewellery, and makeup as well as clothes and shoes. </p> <p>This is fun! I'm interested to see if we can make assumptions about how someone might dress based on the way they comment on others' outfits. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368871 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 04:08:39 +0000 Aziraphale 368871@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hehehe I'm not sure that I'm necessarily better than anyone else at making guesses based on appearance. We all give out plenty of clues. Your appearance tells me a little something about your lifestyle and personality, but not necessarily much about what kind of movies you like to watch, say, or your political views, or your appreciation of music. </p> <p>My point was, we're all tuned into nonverbal messages other people give, whether we are aware of doing it or not, and the clothes we choose to wear to various events play a part in that. The thing that far fewer people do is to actually spend time thinking about the messages their own clothing (and physical demeanor) sends. And if for some reason a person suddenly becomes aware of the messages their clothing sends, they still may not change how they dress -- in fact, they probably won't -- but at least they might keep it in the back of their minds. </p> <p>I think there is one exception to this. I believe most women are aware of the sexual messages clothes can convey, and they are careful to dress so as not to give the wrong ones. Most women don't want to look slutty on purpose (although I'm not knocking the ones who do. It's a free country).</p> <p>ETA: sorry, Una, this is getting a bit off topic...I hope I'm not hijacking your thread! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368867 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 03:48:02 +0000 Sally 368867@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would have said not really at all...but I usually dress quite predictably and wear what I know suits me, so I feel comfortable zone. It was interesting that the other day I wore a vintage trench coat (not a modern one) and it was a different colour than I would normally wear. I went to work and my boss kept looking at it (not saying it was nice ) but her gaze kept going back to it. I felt so uncomfortable that I went and took it off for the rest of the day.....so I suppose I care a lot! But if I now go and parade in front of my friends in this new trench coat, and they say that is really cool....I will be more confident about wearing it next time. Maybe I need to do a WIW and then take it out on the town. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368824 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 02:22:43 +0000 Mo 368824@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Bingo Elisabeth - you should do stunts at the fair where you guess all about people :D</p> <p>I am very sociable in circles where I know people, and slightly more reserved where I am a stranger. I like to stay active and being outdoors rejuvenates me. I do like a good glass of wine and food with others the best though! </p> <p>Do I get to do a 'button down' guess on you now?? :D</p> <p>EDIT: I should add that neither button downs nor any jackets/blazers came into my life until I was 35. I didn't realize there were less 'officey' ways to do those items, and my world is definitely not officey! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368816 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 02:15:50 +0000 Aziraphale 368816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, quickly....your face and figure tell me you're healthy and fit, so you probably like to exercise and are into some kind of outdoor sport. The fact that you are wearing small, as opposed to big, chunky and funky jewellery supports this. Your clothes tell me you are chic in a casual sort of way. Your smart casual jacket says you care about fashion and presentation, but you're not overly "girly", or you'd be wearing a dress or skirt, and possibly higher heels. Or maybe a gauzier, floatier or frillier blouse with your jeans. Your hair being loose and falling over your shoulders, in a relaxed sort of style, contributes to the impression that your are "sporty feminine" and not "girly feminine". Now, I know you're not a mom of young children, but your tiny waist would be a tip-off if I didn't know this. (Not that moms can't have tiny waists....but they normally have to work damn hard to get them back!). You probably have a relaxed personality, too, and an easy laugh. You are not loud or brash, and you're not particularly attention-seeking, but you're sociable and you have plenty of friends. How am I doing so far?</p> <p>Perhaps I'll add more later, but my daughter just informed me that our aging dog has peed on the rug again, so gotta go. And get those kids to bed, too! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368804 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 02:07:35 +0000 taylor 368804@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I won't deny I care very much what people think, more so about those who matter to me and strangers to a lesser degree...I think that is why a total strangers compliment can make my day .<br /> I do try to look my best for ME mainly...but I care what others think. otherwise I wouldn't bother at all. I want my look to reflect who i am and how I feel about fashion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368795 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 02:01:32 +0000 Mo 368795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ha! Game on Out to casual dinner with the BF on a Saturday night, late winter, in FL.</p> <p>EDIT: I should say *ready* to go out for a bite at a casual dinner place but he ended up working late and we never went But I now have an outfit ready for the next time it's under 75 degrees! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368792 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 01:59:59 +0000 Aziraphale 368792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha! I'll answer quickly, cause I've got to start getting the kids to bed. Mind you, you're not a complete stranger, because I've been reading your comments and looking at pictures of you in various outfits for a couple of months now, so that throws this experiment a little. But OK, for argument's sake, suppose you are a complete stranger. Where are you when I see you in this outfit? Is this what you're wearing in the morning on the way to work? Or is this what you're wearing on Saturday, out and about shopping? Or to the pub with your friends on a Friday evening? All that stuff matters. If you see a guy in a suit, say, at the office, it doesn't tell you much about him...but if he's wearing it on a Saturday night, it's a different story.</p> <p>I probably won't get back to this for a couple of hours, but I'm game, I promise. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368791 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 01:59:32 +0000 Katja 368791@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My knee jerk reaction to just seeing the thread title was "A lot! I care a lot about the reaction of others!"</p> <p>But then I started thinking about it, and realized that I honestly don't KNOW the reaction of others. And that's part of my insecurity about how I present myself to the world. Do I look like a fool in what I'm wearing? Does it fit right? Does it convey the message I want it to convey? Is it age and context appropriate? No clue, because apparently I spend my life amongst people who do not comment on others' clothing. So I err on the side of overdressing, <strong>especially</strong> at work, where I want to be taken seriously.</p> <p>The closest I've come to getting a clue is taking photos and a) looking at them and b) asking for feedback here. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-much-do-you-care-about-the-reaction-of-others#post-368783 Sat, 18 Jun 2011 01:44:41 +0000 Mo 368783@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great visual, Elisabeth! I own very few button downs, and they each have a little flair in one way or another. Okay, here's a social experiment: me in my white button down. What does this say about me from a stranger's perspective? Go! </p>