https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 02 May 2026 16:43:50 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-745166 Thu, 11 Oct 2012 06:59:57 +0000 Lyn D. 745166@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Our attitude in Australia is very much the same as in the U.S. I think.<br /> We are fairly laid-back post-baby about losing the extra weight. We scoff at the celebs. who seem to do it so quickly, realising that they have the advantage of personal trainers and Nannies etc. to help them do this.<br /> I think we feel more pressure around breastfeeding recommendations than quick weight-loss. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-743616 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 15:28:57 +0000 Aziraphale 743616@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echo, I was unprepared for your answer. I did not mean for this to be -- or did not foresee that it would be -- such a loaded question for some of you. To be honest I was a little taken aback, but perhaps I did not think it through, so I apologize.</p> <p>Let me say this again. I thought I was quite clear that by "staying trim" I meant "making an effort to stay at the lower end of one's personal healthy weight range". That's why I used the word "trim" and not "thin". (Word choice is important). I don't personally believe that thinness and beauty necessarily go hand-in-hand, although after reading that book, it seems that in Paris, they do (there's a certain amount of sexism going on over there, for sure, just as there is here). I would argue that there is an overarching pressure to be thin here in North America as well, but in early motherhood, at least, we get more breaks. (I would argue that the bigger problem in North America is the pressure to appear *young*, but that's a whole 'nother topic...).</p> <p>Anyway, that was basically what I was interested in when I started this discussion: the difference between Parisian and North American attitudes to weight gain and loss surrounding pregnancy, and to maintaining personal style after embarking on motherhood. It's just so different to what I experienced in America (for my first baby) and to a lesser but similar extent in Canada (for my second baby). Here, there's not a lot of pressure to lose the baby weight quickly, or to dress in a fashionable way -- most moms live in stretched-out yoga pants and a ponytail for the first year of their baby's life. In Paris, according to the author, you see all kinds of svelte, stylishly dressed women in high heels pushing baby prams with TINY babies in them! And they're the mothers, not the nannies. They don't breastfeed, and they pretty much all return to work within three months. The author was fascinated. She wasn't saying the French way was right and American one was wrong; for example, she herself breastfed for a full year, as American mothers often do, even though doing so is less socially acceptable in Paris. It was simply an interesting commentary on the cultural differences, and got me thinking about my own attitude to maintaining my figure and sense of style in the midst of motherhood (and I'm still in the thick of it now!). And I can't be the only woman, or the only mother, on this forum who has an opinion on the topic, which is why I asked the question. </p> <p>I guess what I'm saying is that I didn't remember that this might be an emotional minefield for some. If I set off any bombs, it was not intentional. I was NOT trying to engage in "fat shaming"! But I'm still interested in the question, and the difference in attitudes of the various parts of the world -- not just American and France. What's the Australian approach? The Scandinavian one? We're all interested in style, and so many of us are also mothers. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-743427 Tue, 09 Oct 2012 08:37:22 +0000 Scarlet 743427@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I read that book recently too, and I am now almost done with "French Children Eat Everything" (or whatever it's called--something like that). There is a section in the latter comparing the author's schedule for on-demand breast-feeding to a French friend's schedule for bottle feeding. Oh my gosh, if that's really the difference in life-quality for the mother it makes you think twice. But it is also weird not to consider the science supporting health benefits of breastfeeding, not that I have read ANY of it. It just seems logical to me that there is probably all kinds of crazy hormonal/pheromonal/nutritional stuff going back and forth between mom and baby through the breast that we probably don't even fully understand yet. Having said that though I have plenty of friends raised on the bottle and they seem to be just fine, have high IQ's etc. Unfortunately we can't do the experiments on ourselves to find out what would have made us turn out the absolute most optimal, hah! Living in Germany as I do, choosing not to breastfeed would result in much shaming all around. Even though daycare is available and affordable where I live there is much pressure here on mothers to stay home. I can't comment on the attitudes about baby weight because I don't know. In general people here are not as slim as in France, but much slimmer than in the U.S., on average. I think a little "meat on the bones" is still considered desirable here in many ways. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741781 Sun, 07 Oct 2012 14:39:12 +0000 Queen Mum 741781@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Echo said, "Perhaps if we stopped defining women almost exclusively as sex objects more women would be happier to embrace themselves as well as their children after giving birth."</p> <p>AMEN! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741559 Sun, 07 Oct 2012 03:24:29 +0000 Ariadne 741559@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>NM </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741408 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 23:24:14 +0000 MsMary 741408@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Standing ovations for Queen Mum and Echo!!</p> <p>I have a lot of thoughts on this very emotional and loaded issue, but I will just say that it is important to me that I stay slim, but that I absolutely abhor the fat-shaming of women that is so pervasive in this culture. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741391 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 23:03:45 +0000 cciele 741391@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Does having baby weight makes us less womanly -- that we need to regain something just by losing weight? From my experience, and those of other women I know, the path toward getting back to becoming a "desirable woman" is more involved than just losing weight. There are so many emotional issues involved after having a baby that I believe can have a greater impact than weight. Even if you never lose the weight, I think you can still be a desirable woman.</p> <p>To Echo's point and the original question -- I would say it's not important for me to be slim but it is important for me to be healthy and fit. Although I would like to maintain my size (not weight -- I am heavier but also stronger than I have been in the past since muscle is denser than fat) so I don't have to buy a new wardrobe! So yes, I'm vain in that I like seeing muscle definition on my body </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741292 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 21:06:15 +0000 Echo 741292@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another funny thing is what kind of response is expected to this thread? Are we expecting anyone to to state that they've gained 50 lb in the last 5 years and that it doesn't matter? Or that they competely stopped caring about their weight after having children? Do we think that people WANT to be overweight and "choose" to be? I suppose it happens sometimes, but realistically, I am not sure how anyone can answer in this thread unless they are trim or unless they say it matters to them. It just seems like a very alienating thread to anyone who is overweight... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741283 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 20:55:41 +0000 Janet 741283@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's quite important to me. I've never been technically "overweight" but I have pushed at the limits of my personal comfort level and I don't like being there. </p> <p>I've lost both parents to heart disease, so my main motivation is being healthy. I like to eat, and I don't intend to ever restrict myself from enjoying foods I like unless I absolutely have to -- I'm a big fan of all things in moderation. </p> <p>When I started running, my motivation was not to lose weight -- it was to challenge myself -- but the side effect of shaping up and losing some extra padding has been a great incentive to keep myself at my current weight/shape or even improve some more. I am much happier now that I can run miles at a time and don't get winded climbing multiple flights of stairs, but I'm also happier shopping for and dressing my current size/shape than I was before. My confidence is higher, and my blood pressure is lower. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741278 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 20:48:53 +0000 Echo 741278@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is a really loaded issue for many, many reasons. The first thing I'd take issue with is the idea of a "desirable woman". I find it interesting that the first thing so many people think of when considering their bodies or clothing is being "desirable" or sexy or attractive to the opposite sex. Why does that take precedence over strong, independent, powerful, healthy or even happy? Perhaps the US has taken the idea of everyone needing to be hyper-sexual to an extreme (while still being uptight regarding actual nudity). A person need only look at Halloween costumes for any female over the age of 6 to get an idea of what society expects of women, and I think it is a little bit sad.</p> <p>Could it be this youth and sexuality-driven culture that leads many women (maybe even subconsciously) to use having a child as their ticket to check out - at least temporarily - of that rat race? Maybe they welcome the idea of focusing on the child more than themselves because all they ever hear about themselves as women is how they need to be slimmer, sexier, have plumper lips, fewer wrinkles, etc. Perhaps if we stopped defining women almost exclusively as sex objects more women would be happier to embrace themselves as well as their children after giving birth. </p> <p>But weight is tied into a host of socio-economic factors as well, including the ethnic group one is from and even the neighborhood one lives in. Women who live in neighborhoods without good grocery shopping options don't have access to healthier foods, and those on limited incomes often binge overeat when money or food is available because too often it is not. Ironically, food insecurity can lead to overweight. Because being a size 14 or larger has become the new "average" in this country, being slim has for many become as much of an indicator of status as the bag they carry or the car they drive. It is indeed a priviledge and a sign of priviledge to be able to have a gym membership, the spare time to work out, to be able to buy fresh produce, etc. Many people become overweight due to the demands of multiple jobs and the need for convenience foods. Finding a spare hour to work out would be a luxury, as would having the money to wear Lululemon or join a gym.</p> <p>I don't mean to get too deeply into these things, but weight and attitudes regarding it cannot be considered in a vacuum. They are related to a host of issues, and they lead to a host of other issues. I try to maintain a healthy weight, but not so I can be considered "desirable" (as though somehow a woman carrying more weight is less so?). I do it because exercise is closely tied to health for me, both physical and mental. When sedentary I not only gain weight, but I have depression which worsens. Additionally, my father was always quite slim and yet he suffered from late-onset diabetes and heart disease. I know all too well that health is not necessarily tied to weight, but more to activity levels. And I am aware of the fact that I am lucky to have the extra time and means in order to pursue it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741236 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 19:19:37 +0000 DeniseP 741236@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Very interesting thread and enjoyed everyone's thoughtful responses!</p> <p>It's important for me to stay within my BMI, and a certain dress size, but not a number on the scales. The main reason is that I struggle with high cholesterol but it will come down to acceptable range if I don't carry extra weight. My doctor advised in the past to go on medication to lower this cholesterol, but when I lost a small amount of weight (8 lbs), it was not necessary. I REALLY don't want to take this rx. </p> <p>My dad died at age 51 from stroke, diabetes, smoking, and overweight. He was an example of what I do not want to do. I'm almost 62, so maybe I'm not doomed entirely to genetics?</p> <p>And then, I have more energy and feel/ look better in my clothes at a certain weight, so this does factor in. At my season in life, "desirable" isn't in the picture, ha! (actually, there's a little bit of freedom from not having to "buy" into that mindset.)</p> <p>But as others have said, we all struggle with various issues, and my heart goes out to anyone who -- for whatever reason -- cannot be at a healthy weight... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741206 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 18:44:06 +0000 catgirl 741206@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wholeheartedly agree with Kim/QM both in her personal attitude and her thoughful perspective. It's why I can't let myself be consumed by my weight fluctuations. I don't think the spirit of Elizabeth's question was meant to go really deep, but these types of issues always have roots that spread and are complex. My friend's illlness has been an eye-opener - women tell her how lucky she is to be able to eat as much as she wants and not gain weight, not realizing (or worse, sometimes KNOWING!) it's the result of an extremely painful disabling disease that has changed her from an atletic working woman to someone who can barely walk or drive, let alone run, hike or otherwise be the active capable woman she was. </p> <p>I also struggle a lot with all the judging around the whole idea of motherhood - from breast-feeding as backward (or conversely, mandatory) to loss of identity as a woman and wife to guilt for not being motherly enough and so on. There's always someone out there (not here but in general) more than ready to tell you the right way to be, and that annoys me more than anything else. </p> <p>So yes, I get the idea that women shouldn't lose themselves to motherhood. On the other hand, I'm personally happy to lose a little bit of myself in return for the depths of love, joy and every other emotion I get from my kid. At the same time, I don't and will never judge women who choose otherwise, or choose not to be mothers, as I was close to being one of them myself. Bottom line: no one should dictate for someone else what it means to be a woman or a good mother (other than the obvious rules like "provide love, food, shelter, etc."). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741057 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 15:15:25 +0000 Aziraphale 741057@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting replies, everyone! And no offense taken, Queen Mum. I agree with what you say, and would like to reply more fully but we're heading off this morning for three-day wine tour! Wheee! It's for a four-way birthday celebration -- the four of us are turning 40 one after the other: me (August), best friend's hubby (September), best friend (October), my hubby (November). So we picked the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, and it's a glorious sunny day, my husband's head cold has gone, the kids are having fun with grandma and grandpa, and I'm super-excited! </p> <p>Will try to answer everyone properly when I get back. Happy Thanksgiving, Canadian ladies! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741043 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 14:46:00 +0000 Queen Mum 741043@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do have to say that I agree wholeheartedly that "being a mother and being a desirable woman are not mutually exclusive titles" and that yes, the attitude of putting baby/kids first and yourself last is highly detrimental to our own well being as women/wives/mothers. And for some, perhaps this shift in thinking will allow them to get their figures and style back. But for many, it goes much deeper than this. I'ts a start though! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-741041 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 14:40:53 +0000 Queen Mum 741041@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have come to the place of realizing that I have to decide how much sacrifice/work I am willing to do in the name of eating right and exercise, and then be content with the results. Fortunately I would say this yields results on the trim side, although if given the choice to choose the number on the scale I'd choose a bit lower of a number... but again, I'm not willing to put in the work, so I need to choose contentment or I drive myself crazy with striving to do more than I really want to/am able to.. does that make sense?</p> <p>Knowing this about myself has made me come to believe that nobody *wants* to choose to be overweight, but everybody has their own threshold of diet and exercise tolerance and this yields the number on the scale. There is also the factor of health issues that again, nobody would choose, but they are a fact of life and contribute to one's body size. Not to mention personal issues with food that aren't as simple to deal with as just "eat less, exercise more". A personal example would be that if there is junk in the house, I tend eat it until it is gone... not necessarily in one sitting, but in a short stretch of time. Common sense tells me to just stay away from it, but for some reason I am unable to most of the time. I have no idea why I do this... I guess some introspection or therapy might help me get to the root, but I've not taken that step... and to be honest, my weight and health isn't at a critical place that I feel needs intervention. I try to limit the junk food that I buy and bring in to the house.. I am able to do that so it works for me. But the concept of keeping a candy dish full of candy always amazes me... I cannot understand those who can do this and make it last. It would be gone by the end of the day here. Halloween Candy does not sit in my cupboards for months on end. Cookies and cake do not last in my house to the point of going stale. </p> <p>I say all this to say... To ask "how important is it to you to stay trim" implies that when one is overweight it is because trimness just isn't important to that person. I don't think it is that simple. Yes, when you sort out and get down to the nitty-gritty, I guess it would boil down to that, but there are way too many life experiences, internal struggles, life-inflicted wounds, etc that play a part in one's attitude toward food and body image that I don't think you can simply equate one's trimness to whether or not it is a priority to them. An addict or alcoholic doesn't want to be an alcoholic... it is an addiction that they are in bondage to. We need to remember that some are in bondage to eating issues in much the same way and we need to extend grace and understanding when dealing with this topic. </p> <p>I am not intending to offend anyone, including you, Elisabeth, for starting the thread. I think it is great to ponder our own personal attitudes toward our weight/body size. But I wanted to point out there are many who struggle and I don't want them left feeling that they just must not have enough will or desire to be healthy or trim. I think it's wayyyyy more complicated than that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740954 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 09:41:55 +0000 citygirldc 740954@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hope I didn't say to anything to offend. I wanted to clarify that one can be heavy AND healthy or can be skinny and unhealthy. My dad who was not heavy led a very unhealthy lifestyle and unfortunately he paid for it with a bad heart , high cholesterol, no exercise and is now gone. </p> <p>I feel that healthy habits like exercise (if one is physically able) and healthy eating, no matter if you're heavy or skinny, is a big benefit to everyone in the long run. But this is just my opinion and hope no one takes it the wrong way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740937 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 08:48:21 +0000 Caro in Oz 740937@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Elizabeth - no offense taken:) I just wanted to make the point that sometimes life throws us situations that are out of our control; so even if we expect to stay trim or lose weight after pregnancy it is not within our power to do so. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740931 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 08:26:17 +0000 Irene 740931@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am a quite slim woman but don't exercise. At all. I do walk though (30 mins a day, at least, and up steep streets), since I commute on the fantastic public transport of Barcelona (note sarcasm) and I don't mind walking quite long distances that, I know, people who do not live in cities do not walk. I have a friend living in the pirinees and she walks only when she 'goes out for a walk' but goes to work by car, does the shopping by car, goes out at night by car... she owns a car since age 18. I'm 24 and don't even have a driving license. She needs the car whereas I don't. Even if I had one, I wouldn't be able to use it in this crowded place.</p> <p>It is true though that, while slim (I believe I have a fast metabolism and eat small quantities of food every two/three hours and I go hungry easily) I don't exercise specifically and I think I need to tone up a bit, which is why I'll be joining a gym. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740886 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 05:28:14 +0000 Aziraphale 740886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Caro, I hear you. That is why I said specifically that staying "trim" means staying at the lower end of one's own natural weight range. These ranges vary a lot. What is healthy for one woman might be too lean, or to stout, for another. And these ranges can change a lot with age or under different circumstances, too (like thyroid dysfunction!). I expect that in 20 years, I will need to be a little heavier to still be (and look) healthy. I have several friends who eat well and exercise (one is a gifted athlete, in fact) and they're naturally full-figured. So I really meant no offense. I don't judge people by their size, really! But I do make an attempt to keep my own shape within a certain range. If for some reason my weight plunges downward or spikes upward, I'll be visiting the doctor to find out if there's a good reason. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740870 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 04:31:15 +0000 Caro in Oz 740870@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I hope this doesn't sound combative - that isn't what I want at all. I do feel it is important to remember that sometimes we do not have control over things we would like to have control over - including our health &amp; weight. I think it's great to want to be healthy &amp; to exercise but for some of us it isn't as easy as it is for others.</p> <p>As someone who was always energetic &amp; healthy my health &amp; weight problems came as a really rude shock. I went up 4 dress sizes while eating a really healthy diet. It was not within my power to do anything about it. Add to that a misdiagnosis &amp; it made for a really depressing time. Now I'm on the correct (thyroid) medication I find I am able to eat &amp; lose weight. </p> <p>I didn't change as a person when I was bigger (other than being sick) but people's attitude towards me did change - I am not judgemental about people's weight now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740784 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 01:31:08 +0000 citygirldc 740784@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It is important to stay trim and I too am motivated by health reasons but believe that weight is a big problem in the US especially with the mentality of the American Dream is that "bigger is better." Everything is bigger in the states: bigger cars and bigger houses = success, (and now bigger sizes although I didn't think size would come into the equation), but not all countries adhere to this. For example, in some countries being heavier is a sign of good fertility or being healthy. </p> <p>Also, in Western/ US culture, perception of how your look is key. When someone sees you for the first time they judge you immediately on your size, your outfits and guess what socio-economic background you come from. (Un)fortunately this is a country where looks and size matter. Yes it is a shallow mentality so I do agree with you but I think many cultures have their versions of "shallowness".</p> <p>I've had my issues growing up and still do but I try to balance everything by exercise and eating healthy and splurge more often than not. My parents were not heavy nor did they instill or promote weight loss when I was younger, but somehow I knew that being heavy was not healthy. </p> <p>That's just me though and I try not to judge people if I can help it. I have my own problems to deal with. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740775 Sat, 06 Oct 2012 01:22:40 +0000 Angie 740775@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's exactly right, Elisabeth. In the Netherlands, breast feeding isn't big either. On the contrary. Lots of bottles. You see lots of new mums with bottles. Breast feeding is not a done thing in France - as per your SIL :). I wasn't breast fed either - neither was my brother - that's going back 42 and 47 years respectively. We turned out okay. But I guess that's subjective :)</p> <p>Anyway. Interesting! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740675 Fri, 05 Oct 2012 23:51:36 +0000 Aziraphale 740675@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Una -- yes, I'm like you, I'm not a stress eater either. And yes, I'm probably a few pounds up from what I was at 27. Not much, though. I've never owned a scale because I was treated for anorexia as a teenager, so I've always thought it would be safer just to judge by how my clothes fit, you know? But for the record, I found breastfeeding tiresome and messy, and it made me get fatter. And I did it for quite a while because of the health benefits to my babies. Apparently 20% of women GAIN weight while breastfeeding. As soon as I stopped, the weight just magically fell away!</p> <p>Angie -- I agree. There are so many surprising differences between cultures, and that's part of what makes it so interesting. I love visiting other countries, too. In many ways I'm very impressed with French culture, but I find some aspects a little strange. The breastfeeding thing was one. My sister-in-law is French, and I remember thinking it was a bit odd that she didn't even attempt to breastfeed, seeing how fanatical we seem to be about it over on this side of the ocean! I now understand that it's a cultural thing; breastfeeding almost has a "country bumpkin" vibe that Parisian women try to avoid. </p> <p>Mo, Milehighstyle -- yeah, fitting into my clothes is another incentive to stay trim! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740630 Fri, 05 Oct 2012 23:10:48 +0000 missvee 740630@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm motivated more by health than anything. My dad died young of a heart attack, so I make sure to exercise and eat ( mostly ) the right things. I used to be very skinny, but now my weight is more normal. I don't weigh myself, but I do pay attention to how my clothes fit - a too tight skirt is a great motivator too </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740485 Fri, 05 Oct 2012 21:37:18 +0000 catgirl 740485@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>No breast feeding? That actually helped me lose baby weight! Not to mention the health benefits to baby. But I digress. </p> <p>It is important to me in the way you have said, to maintain a certain level of fit and healthy. It's my nature to be outdoors and active anyway, plus it's good for my sanity. But I LOVE food, and I don't beat myself up over a couple of pounds that come and go. I am too busy and have too much to balance. I have an upper limit, and I have yet to hit it since the months post-pregnancy. I can't see letting 5 pounds a year add up. But at close to 47, if I'm 5 pounds over what I was at 27, I can live with that in exchange for not having to stress about it.</p> <p>Also, I've never been one to heed the call of ice cream if it's in the house, or to eat more than I need. I tend to stop eating when stressed rather than eat more. I have friends who can't keep certain items in the house because they WILL eat them, and that would be hard! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740394 Fri, 05 Oct 2012 20:37:56 +0000 Angie 740394@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Elisabeth, we lived in France, and my opinion of how women there generally look postpartum resonates with what you read in your book. I was able to befriend a few French women too. All trim - three kids later. All back at work. No breast feeding. It's all very interesting. I'm not saying that there is a right or wrong. Things are just different in different parts of the world. It's an eye opener. </p> <p>France enforces a 35 hr work week. There is lots of part time work available because of this law. The socially democratic society has childcare in place for free if you are prepared to drop off your kids at these facilities - the whole day if need be is no problem. The only prerequisite is that your kids are potty trained. So kids are also potty trained at a younger age in France.</p> <p>This way of life and infrastructure helps women get back to work, resume a more normal life so to speak, after having kids.</p> <p>Anyway. It's a little off topic Elisabeth, but it's all so interesting to me since you brought it up. Traveling and living in other parts of the world is a priceless education. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740275 Fri, 05 Oct 2012 19:08:56 +0000 Mo 740275@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Timely - just today I was in JC Penney's dressing rooms that have a pretty much 360 mirror. The midsection was a bit soft for my liking! If I'm being completely honest, the most important factor to staying at the same weight is my wardrobe. Health is up there, but I still drink wine and eat plenty of convenience foods, so I know I'm not living as healthily as I possibly could. I eat about as much as I 'can get away with' to be blunt. I do exercise, and like to. Being a couch potato is not my preferred way of living. And my job has been active on my feet for the last 20 years as well. I made that conscious choice to leave my desk job behind.<br /> I wouldn't say my weight affects how I feel about my life or how I live. I was 20 pounds heavier in my mid to late 20's and not worried in the least about it. Was getting as many dates as ever My weight does not make me feel in control or like I'm better equipped to deal with life. It's just a facet of my bodily make up I guess. But I like that body to have a 26 1/2" waist LOL. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740213 Fri, 05 Oct 2012 18:42:53 +0000 milehighstyle (Linda) 740213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm right there with you, Elisabeth. I am by no means skinny, but I refuse to let myself get over a certain weight. I am not super strict about my snacking (I have chocolate, ice cream, etc at least a few times a week) but eat out very seldom and have been working out hard since high school. I was fully expecting to lose all my baby weight in 3 months and was appalled that it took me 10 months to do it (this was 10 years ago). Now I have a wardrobe that I really love and want to keep fitting into it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-important-is-it-to-you-to-stay-trim#post-740173 Fri, 05 Oct 2012 18:08:07 +0000 Aziraphale 740173@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I recently finished a book called "Bringing Up Bebe", written by an American journalist living in Paris with her British husband and three young children. It's about raising children in France, discussing the differences between American and French parenting, but there is a whole chapter about postpartum weight loss and Parisian style and how French mothers expect to regain their former "ligne" (figure) by three months postpartum. It's all tied in with the French attitude that women are not supposed to lose themselves to motherhood -- that being a mother and being a desirable woman are not mutually exclusive titles -- and of course there's the added fact that the vast majority of Parisian women return to work by three months (and there is plenty of affordable, high-quality child care that permits them to do so); whereas in America (and probably Canada, too), it's more acceptable for a woman to hang on to her baby weight for months or years after the baby is born, with the argument that we must always put the baby first and that regaining our "womanhood" can come later. </p> <p>It got me thinking. How important is it to you to stay slim? And by slim, I mean at the lower end of your own healthy weight range, because we're all built differently and what's a healthy shape for one woman might be too lean or heavy for another. I won't lie. It's very important to me. I don't slave away to be thinner than my body wants to be, but I do get sweaty exercise for about three hours a week and I try to eat sensibly. I eat whatever I want, but I watch how *much* I put in my mouth. (I may or may not be raising my children in the French way, but I definitely eat the French way). And I don't just do these things to be physically healthy, although that is an added incentive. There's a big psychological component to it. If I'm honest with myself, the main reason I'm careful is because when I'm slim, I feel good. Confident. I can tackle life's problems much better when I feel trim and vigorous. </p> <p>Perhaps I'm being super-shallow, but that's how it is. You? </p>