YouLookFab Forum » Topic: How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 08 Apr 2026 20:13:32 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Marlene on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1007019 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 14:27:58 +0000 Marlene 1007019@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have never followed those rules because I've always felt it fed into the notion that everyone wants what they don't have or there is something wrong with what you got.  As a small-busted women, I have never bought into the notion of "enhancing".  I've always owned it and that's that.  I do, however, work at proportions.  My legs are long for my torso and my neck is very short.  And I tend to show weight-gain in my neck and torso area.  So I find that any "flattery rules" I work into my outfits are ones that visually re-distribute my body into more traditional proportions in general.  I find that when I am looking at an outfit that is unflattering, it is usually a case of weird proportions.  Or there is not enough structure....or too much (baggy over baggy or tight over tight for example).  If an outfit is proportional and has an element of structure to show that there is a human body under there, then all the other "flattery" rules are irrelevant.  Everyone's body is different and we need to celebrate that.  Joan Joplin on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006995 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 14:03:12 +0000 Joan Joplin 1006995@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Gabrielle, as a 28J (in US sizing a 28M) I've always found that crew necks make my bust look bigger, and not in an attractive way (sort of a mountain of boobs way.) v-necks and scoop necks are the traditionally flattering option, which isn't ways my favorite thing, but compared to crew necks, lower necks can be minimizing and they don't make your entire torso look like boob. To a great extent, I just wear normal clothes and try to be choosy about silhouettes. While people certainly notice my chest, especially because the rest of me is pretty small, they also tend to notice my legs, hair, waist, or anything else depending on what they're looking at at the moment. My bust is very large, but it doesn't obscure my whole body it block the rest of me from view. Also, there are a number of companies who make specially fitted clothes for busty women, shirts and jackets and so on. Wearing things that fit well and are comfortable can go a long way in helping you be comfortable with your chest. And if none of this was useful, just ignore me and assume good intent. TraceyLiz65 on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006902 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 11:42:52 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1006902@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As someone who looks at fashion as a creative art form, I can see the wisdom of following those guidelines. In theory may all be well and good, but in practice not so much.  I have spent this past year really trying to get proportions right for my height, something I was failing miserably at until I saw photos.   What I hate more than anything is the rules about age, at almost 48, those rule makers would say some of my skirts are to short and a couple inches above the knee... Nova on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006901 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 11:41:35 +0000 Nova 1006901@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have to admit, I don't really pay attention to rules.  I love to surrender my waist regardless of it's actual size.  I also believe some fashion rules exist where you live.  My little community in the middle of the US is fairly conservative.  There is not a lot of risk taking and everyone tends to dress the same (not counting a few brave teens).  I tend to stand out because of what I wear.  I often receive comments about my look being more "city" or forward.  If I followed the rules of my community,  my beloved converse would have to be retired for some plain brown or black sensible shoes, and I never would have cut off my long hair for a pixie several years ago. krishnidoux on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006893 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 11:27:08 +0000 krishnidoux 1006893@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I want to ignore them... and I do,  but when it comes to the legs, I'll follow every bit of advice to make them look longer. So, higher, defined waists, skin colour pumps, heels etc.  kkards on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006878 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 10:21:35 +0000 kkards 1006878@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ i don't know about rules; but i do try to dress to enhance my figure. for me that means that there are some styles/looks that i won't wear because i'm a short, small person. i do know that there are others on ylf who are concerned about fashion and less concerned about flattery. i think there was a thread about this a few months ago. Gabrielle on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006876 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 09:47:35 +0000 Gabrielle 1006876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Joan.  I follow fashion flattery protocols.  I have large breasts, which embarrass me.  I do everything I can think of to minimize my chest area and/or draw attention elsewhere on my body.  I try to focus attention on my waist and legs.  I gravitate towards long, lean, somewhat figure-conscious looks from the waist down.  I rarely ever surrender the waist.   Sigh.   I really don't know how to dress my top half.  I tend to wear a lot of crew necks.  Crew necks and blazers.....   I also tend to avoid any and all bras that have padding, molding, form.  I have never tried a minimizer bra.  I have seen them.  I don't know why it never occurred to me to try one.   Deborah on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006856 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 08:13:25 +0000 Deborah 1006856@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Figure flattery is important to me but I also prefer guidelines to rules. I really think that sometimes different rules apply to different body types. We need to know what we want to see and go from there. I am large busted and do often wear a minimiser bra, however I have recently discovered that my jackets generally look better when I am wearing a 'normal' non minimising bra... I am not sure how that fits with 'the rules' I try to live in the land of do what you please Hil on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006853 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 08:05:45 +0000 Hil 1006853@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I get "the rules" and I can see how they work, but I am definitely not into just buying into someone's rules at the expense of wearing what I like and what I feel good in.  Lyn D. on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006852 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 07:56:35 +0000 Lyn D. 1006852@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hi Joan, (LOL Anne- I think I look better dressed these days :) I generally prefer to be 'balanced' too, but happily waist-surrender for comfort and my casual life-style. The 'guidelines' are an excellent starting point for fashion growth, and I found them quite useful in my early days of fashionisting! anne on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006849 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 07:43:42 +0000 anne 1006849@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I do take it into account, for the most part. I feel like I am quite happy with my body in the nude, but often not when I am dressed and I have found figure flattery policies have helped with that. But sometimes fashion does take precedence. And it helps me that I am a pear/rectangle/X shaped hourglass combination, so I can pick and choose a fair bit! But I am only just coming around to the idea of booties after, what, 3 years!! I still look at them and think "leg shortening" Ingunn on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006819 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 05:51:49 +0000 Ingunn 1006819@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I prefer rules that bend:) I am quite short, hourglass/pear shaped and typically like to highlight my waist to avoid looking square. But like Mo, who has a much slender figure than me, I'm surrendering my waist more now because it feels current. We are coming from different directions, but bend the "rule" for the same reasons. To me, it's all about what feels good or not. There's no use in pretending anything, it must feel true to who I am. Mo on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006815 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 05:30:22 +0000 Mo 1006815@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ As an hourglass with a smaller bust, I started wearing looser tops 2 years ago before it became more mainstream.  I remember a member here (Claire?) saying that at the time she couldn't understand why I would choose the loose over the much more 'figure flattering' bodycon tops of the time.  Fast forward a year or two and she totally saw where I was coming from.  Sure, it doesn't do much for my less than large chest, and especially hiding my waist, can make me look much more up and down, but it felt more fashionable to me so I went with it.  Never looked back!   Aziraphale on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006801 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 04:46:16 +0000 Aziraphale 1006801@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sounds like you have an issue with the language more than the figure flattery itself.  "Minimize" is a hot-button word for you, I think, because it implies that the thing you're applying it to (your breasts) should fit some arbitrary standard that happens to be smaller than what you've actually got.  You don't like being told that you should "minimize" your bountiful rack, because you like it the way it is, thank you very much, and who says a smaller bust is better anyway?   OK, so, language aside, I do follow traditional figure flattery advice if it fits with my own idea of what I think looks nice on me.  For example, I do try to minimize the appearance of my bust, but not because it is "too" big, or even big at all, really, but because to my eye it looks a little big relative to the diameter of my narrow hips.  And I like the look of my figure when my hips and bust appear balanced.  Does that make sense? There's other times I throw conventional figure flattery out the window (well, not totally out the window, or else I'd wear my husband's oversize tee shirts to the grocery store), but -- and here's the important bit -- when I do that, I still think the overall look is attractive on me.  For example, I sometimes wear a button-front shirt with a sweater vest over top, which masks my waist completely and makes me look very boyish.  It's not the most traditionally flattering look, but I feel really good in it. Gaylene on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006792 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 04:22:19 +0000 Gaylene 1006792@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I tend to take most of those "rules" with a grain of salt because I agree with your stance that the underlying assumption is that we all want to look like some "ideal" shape. My shoulders are the broadest part of my body and I love them because they make my clothes hang nicely and they are enormously helpful in giving me "presence" when I'm in front of an audience. I frequently wear boat necklines, horizontal stripes at shoulder level, and epaulettes that emphasize my shoulders to play up my IT shape. I also love Angie's attitude towards so-called flaws like knobby knees and blemished, veiny legs which some "experts" recommend keeping under cover. I have no problems wearing shorts and knee-length skirts in hot weather even though I'm in my mid-sixties. My legs don't look like a twenty-year-old's, but then neither does my face. And I'm not about to start wearing a mask in public. Figure flattery is one aspect of dressing, but shouldn't be the sole goal behind our decisions about what to wear. ManidipaM on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006764 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 03:45:51 +0000 ManidipaM 1006764@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Agree in spades, Joan. It's not the guidelines per se, though; just the way they are presented as though the desire to resemble a slender hourglass is an universal or normative. Personally, I used to enjoy highlighting my waist when it was more indented, but now don't and instead often surrender the waistline definition rather than try to create the illusion; and now that I have the postpartum belly bulge, I certainly don't see that as my fitness or fashion priority (I know many people do and there is no arguing the need for a postpartum rehab regimen, but I think strength and stamina and postural issues should rather be foregrounded than losing the tummy, which is usually a natural side effect and certainly not the only change pregnancy and childbirth produce). I used to be sensitive about both height and girth, dressing to try and slenderize. Then I figured I should either be sensitive enough to change what can be changed or set the stress aside. I confess to still feeling a little unsure about my legs and upper arms being ready for public consumption---but I know I would advise a good friend that no one has any business judging and the reflection is on them; so trying to internalize that. I wore shorts and sleeveless shirts out of the house for the first time in decades after finding Angie's thoughtful posts on YLF. The one aspect of figure flattery I do strive towards--showing or hinting at my basic form and proportions rather than obscuring everything as unacceptably unaesthetic. Even retailers and designers often make it easy for the larger-sized woman to disappear under her clothes (or else they visibly bind and undermine comfort. I try to militate against that, especially when I am larger than my own norm. Jaime on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006756 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 03:36:16 +0000 Jaime 1006756@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I do not always emphasize what the guidelines would have me emphasize but I do try to de-emphasize my mid-section.  Joan Joplin on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006747 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 03:10:54 +0000 Joan Joplin 1006747@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Actually, that sounds a lot like my own attitude. I follow a few because I like the way they look or make me feel, and ignore many more, because I don't care for them. I also meant to emphasize this more in my original post, but i think a lot of these so-called rules are really absurd. They seem to say, "be whatever is the exact opposite of your body type. If you have curves, hide them. But if you don't have them, fake them, because you should want to have them." That doesn't sound like figure flattery, that sounds like insecurity enhancement. Boo! Suz on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006698 Fri, 16 Aug 2013 00:48:18 +0000 Suz 1006698@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Welcome, Joan.  We seem to vary here when it comes to following or discarding figure flattery rules. I do pay attention to some, but not to others. I have a rebellious streak that does not do well with rules in general. Guidelines, sure. But rules...nah.  Joan Joplin on "How far do you follow traditional figure flattery advice?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-far-do-you-follow-traditional-figure-flattery-advice#post-1006605 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 21:33:43 +0000 Joan Joplin 1006605@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've been wondering how much people take traditional flattery advice to heart. For instance, do you minimize a large bust? Enhance a small one? Create or define a waist? Hide a tummy? The list goes on, but those were some of the main ones I thought of. There's a host of other, similar advice out there, though, and it basically says that either you should hide what you have and fake what you don't have, or try to look exactly like one tall, thin body type. How much do you listen to and how much do you discard? I'll start: I do define the heck out if my waist, because it's a feature I like to show off. But I loathe the word "minimize." And whenever someone talks about "balancing" a large bust, it annoys me no end. Balance is what keeps you from falling over. Balance should not, to me, mean pretending I have an average size chest. I don't, nor do I want to, because I like my body as is.