https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:32:23 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-558302 Tue, 06 Mar 2012 01:06:47 +0000 sarah 558302@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marley, don't sweat it. I am so busy with work right now that I have hardly been on here at all. But if I start feeling guilty about YLF, it's going to stop being the "after work/kids are in bed" little bit of release that I want it to be. So, when I'm this busy, I just browse and comment here and there, and tell myself so be it. There will be other times when I can invest more. But I do try to ask for less when I can't give as much, so I'm inclined not to start threads myself unless I'm in a place work- and family-wise when I can give back. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-558259 Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:23:25 +0000 Anonymous 558259@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't keep up and I'm not the fastest reader so if I see something longer than 15 lines I skip it or try to skim it. I click through and look at outfits but don't always comment- others have already posted the perfect responses/advice and such. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-558249 Tue, 06 Mar 2012 00:10:37 +0000 Marley 558249@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow you guys! This is really helpful info! I like a lot of your suggestions - the most important one being "have fun!" I really don't want to lay a guilt trip on myself for not having the energy or time to respond. I like the suggestion of trying to comment on the WIWs first, because those threads are putting people in the most vulnerable positions and I really think its important to provide encouragement and support, even if you're not crazy about their ouft! One thing I find myself doing (and I'm not sure this is such a good idea) is that I gravitate towards those threads that are written by someone that I have met IRL - or have had a more personal connection with on the forum. I am more comfortable with them, and I have a better idea of their style. The problem with that is that I tend to "neglect" the newbies, who have soooo much to offer - so then I try to catch up on all of them - and neglect my "old" YLF friends. So . . . I'm not going to stress about it - but I got to tell you I am mightly impressed when one of you makes a suggestion to another member to wear a piece of clothing that they modeled on the forum 3 weeks ago!!!! That is just NOT ever going to happen with me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-557718 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 15:49:35 +0000 biscuitsmom 557718@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love to come here as often as I can during weekdays (weeknights/weekends DH is on the computer) and try to read as many as possible, but I usually only comment if I can add to the conversation, which isnt often! lol Sometimes my mind is just stuck for the right words too, which doesnt help...I do really enjoy reading all the posts I can get to and love the WIWs. I *love* this place! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-557702 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 15:33:27 +0000 mrseccentric 557702@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is the endless, infinite internet.</p> <p>There Is No Way To Keep Up!</p> <p>And the only people who have any obligation to do so are the forum's owners and moderators (Mr. and Mrs. Cox, in this case). Even mods aren't expected to read every single thread and post - just to keep an eye on any problems. </p> <p> I had around 10 years of experience in online forums before joining YLF, so i had time to figure out a lot of this stuff for myself. Any forum worth joining is going to be so vast that there's no realistic way to keep up. </p> <p>For me the main point is to figure out what you want to get and what you want to give. Since a lot of internet revenue is driven by traffic, simply clicking on the forum and various topics helps with revenue. So does linking to YLF posts elsewhere, and encouraging others to read YLF. Of course, anyone writing or posting pictures in the forum is generating original content for free - on the internet, original content is queen! If you can, buying through affiliate links or the store is a great way to support YLF.</p> <p>As a forum member, it's always important to follow the rules. Every forum has a list of guidelines and if you don't follow them you can get suspended temporarily or for keeps. Here you can see YLF's:<br /> <a href="http://youlookfab.com/backstage/about/terms-of-service/" rel="nofollow">http://youlookfab.com/backstag.....f-service/</a></p> <p>Over the years i've developed some 'rules' for myself:<br /> **Don't swear, put other people down, or say nasty things about other people. It is possible to exhibit disagreement or differing opinions while being polite. Make it about the idea, not the person, if you need to say something about it.</p> <p>**Give credit where it is due! Put quotes in "quotes" and attribute them. Don't plagiarize. If you got an idea from someone else, say so.</p> <p>**Read another member's comment carefully and make sure that you understand what they said before you respond to that comment. You would be surprised how much trouble violation of this rule causes! Especially since the post is right there for you to read. I was on a paranormal forum which was set up to discuss a podcast. One of the podcast hosts had to apologize to a forum member on the podcast as the host had berated said member at length based solely on a misreading. The forum was later sanctioned by the host service for moderation issues, which led to the whole forum being deleted.</p> <p>**Real life comes first.</p> <p>**Have fun! </p> <p>I deliberately put 'have fun' last, as i have found that when members violate the other rules the fun goes away pretty quick.</p> <p>But seriously, no one is calculating how much you put in vs. how much you 'take' (whatever that means). People love it when you post something interesting and amazing and they are grateful you took the time to do so. If you aren't around, they figure you are a grown person and you know how to run your life.</p> <p>The only instance where forum members will think about other members negatively is when they quote without attribution, start trying to stir things up between various members, etc. </p> <p>And i can't say i have ever seen anything like that happen here at YLF!!!! Really this forum is a gem, Angie and Greg should be proud of the community they have created - and so should everyone else who reads and comments! A place as special as this one takes a lot of participation from a lot of people. So give yourself credit for however you contribute here at YLF!!</p> <p>FWIW, steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-557654 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 14:44:05 +0000 Mamapicklejuice 557654@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Not only do I not remember YLF member's individual wardrobe items, I will sheepishly admit I often forget their real names! I once read through a whole birthday tribute wondering who the heck this person was, because Angie referred to them by their real name and not their screen name. Yes, you can laugh at me now. I'm hopeless. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-557635 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 14:15:55 +0000 Isabel 557635@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread !!! I used to feel really guilty....especially because I didn't ( and still ) don't post WIW, but I love it when others do. Yet they are making themselves vulnerable and taking a huge, courageous step and I am just so grateful. I also can't get to all the threads. Honestly, I answer whatever catches my eye. I really like the Yay or Nay. I also try to answer anyone who is new or really working on there style...it takes allot of courage to take that first step. I find that I am not so good at ideas but I know when something looks good to me, so I tend to comment more on that. I also love all the non-fashion stuff. The women here are just so darn smart and interesting.</p> <p>Otherwise, YLF is like any relationship to me. It is not 50-50. There are times that I can only give 10% and YLF gives me 90%. Even if I just can't get to it here, the forum is large enough now that SOMEONE will get to it. So to me it is a community. A very willing and thoughtful one, where there is always someone to step in and do something. And as a community, everyone seems to get attended to somehow. Each one of us also has our strong points and I think that we tend to go there first, like Rae said.</p> <p> I am very cognizant of all the work that Angie and Greg do here for no charge, though this type of work is their livelihood. So I try to place orders through the Partner links at the bottom of the page so that they can make a little commission. This to me is a very important piece of the participation. I am not a big shopper in general ( this year I have been because of the weight gain ) so I always look at the partners first before ordering anything. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up/page/2#post-557615 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 13:57:19 +0000 CocoLion 557615@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't feel bad about not keeping up, really. When I go on YLF, I look at the Latest page in the forum. Sometimes I just focus on the WIWs, so I go there and look at those. I definitely post more replies/comments than conversations I start. I almost always reply if I've opened the conversation. Even if I can't come up with a great comment. When I have less time, I reply without reading everyone else's comments. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557577 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 11:51:19 +0000 citygirldc 557577@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I try to read as much as I can't but sometimes I can't and sometimes skim through. It's the longs posts I can't read because I just don't have the time or the patience. Weekends are better for me though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557549 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 10:09:44 +0000 Deborah 557549@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For me it all depends on how busy life is! Some weeks I have more free time and I will spend more time here, other weeks not so much. I do often log in when I have lunch at work, or when I stop for a cuppa. I like to look at as many WIW's as I can for the same reason Jonesy expressed, and because I learn so much from how everyone puts their outfits together. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557507 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 06:53:52 +0000 catgirl 557507@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't. I've been absent for about a week pretty much and basically I just start with the front page and work my way back. Often I look like I'm here but I'm not because I stay logged in at work all day so I can flip to this page when I have time. It is tough but I'm sure no one judges you for it in any way! I'm just happy any time I see your outfit posts! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557504 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 06:51:18 +0000 Aziraphale 557504@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't. It's impossible. :-)</p> <p>Some weeks I log in a lot, and reply a lot, but only to the threads where I feel I have something constructive to say. Other weeks I only read Angie's blog. I agree that the number of threads running at any given time is overwhelming. And I don't even participate in WIW -- I can't imagine what a massive time-suck that would be! Although it's a great resource if you really want constructive criticism....so one day I might give it a whirl. I don't think I'm as adventurous as you lot though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557380 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 04:03:47 +0000 Anonymous 557380@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't have time to respond to all that i read and often I don't have anything to add by the time I get to the thread. It's usually the ones that catch my eye or I've an opinion or suggestion to add. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557372 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 03:55:16 +0000 ManidipaM 557372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marley, will you let me join your club? :-)</p> <p>I have a hard time keeping up too --- some days, when my workflow is low and I'm alone at home for days on end, I'm here a lot. Then I don't get here as often as I'd like --- and have to scroll back several pages.</p> <p>Like others have said, I'll often respond where I think I can add something to what's already said, rather than try hard to come up with something which is very far from my experience or style, so that I feel I wouldn't be 'useful' there; I try to look at most of the WIWs and say something even briefly because it is (as Jonesy said) a vulnerable space according to me; I try to see if I can help with threads that have no/fewer responses as yet; and obviously topics of interest (often the introspective and evaluative ones) jump out at me anyway. Then there's specific members whose style is in line with my aims in some way, or whose lifestyle resonates with me --- so sometimes I'll check for their posts specifically.</p> <p>I wouldn't feel bad about not posting every time, every place, Marley. I think --- I hope? --- most of us know that this is a very special place, with a lot of warmth and support, and we're all grateful for that, while knowing that real life has its own insistent demands that sometimes overcome fashion and fun. FUN being the bottomline, please don't feel pressured is my suggestion!</p> <p>ETA: It helps that I type really fast! But evidently that is its own problem and a different source of guilt --- I make you poor ladies read so much to get my point across! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557355 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 03:33:10 +0000 Sylvie 557355@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I used to keep up much better when work wasn't so busy and I could check in on YLF frequently. I've barely posted at all in the past week or so, as work has been crazy and even when I get home, I just don't have the mental energy to post thoughtful replies.</p> <p>I try to prioritize responding to threads with fewer than 10 responses. If I see a WIW thread with 20+ posts, I won't respond unless I have something original to say.</p> <p>Ultimately, I think this forum is very understanding that people go through cycles where they have more/less time and so long as we're all treating each other with respect, no offense is taken if people can't keep up. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557343 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 03:15:36 +0000 Fruitful 557343@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marley, you're completely normal. The times when I seem to keep up with the forum, you should all be rapping me over the knuckles as it means I'm ignoring pretty much everything else LOL.</p> <p>My first rule of internet etiquette? Real Life Comes First. ^_^ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557288 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 02:10:58 +0000 MNsara 557288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great question, Marley, and great timing! You're not alone in this either. . .</p> <p>I have just been feeling bad about how few threads I comment on. Often I start writing a Reply, then realize I have nothing much to add (and to write cleverly is NOT natural for me), so I just navigate away without any comment :-\ </p> <p>I'm pretty clueless about Internet etiquette, so I'm hoping that my spotty Replies are acceptable. I figure we each do what we can do within our life limits/obligations, and that just has to be okay. . .I also hope I'm not too far off with that presumption!</p> <p>P.S. My other issue I feel deficient in is that I can hardly ever remember what someone wore previously (in K/R or WIW postings, etc.). I contrast that with those incredible YLFers who remember and can make suggestions using previous items!! I can't hardly remember what I ate for breakfast :-\ </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557277 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 02:05:48 +0000 Jem 557277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have the same problem. Sometimes I have more time and try to comment as much as I can, but then I have periods where I can't come at all. I decided to not try to "catch up", although sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on all of the fun...lol, but just try to do the best I can. I love to see everyone's WIW's and other threads, but I try not to feel bad or guilty if I miss some. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557266 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 02:00:14 +0000 Transcona Shannon 557266@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marley - don't you worry one bit. It's impossible to completely keep up. I try to pop in several times a day for a minute here or there but some days, I just have more or less time available than others. But I don't allow myself to feel guilty when I can't comment on more posts than I do - we all do what we can I think. And no one would want YLF to feel like a burden. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557265 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 02:00:13 +0000 nicoleb 557265@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Marley - thanks for posting this. I have a really hard time also. If YLF ever makes their iphone app the full forum i'll be able to keep up MUCH better but as it is i've been really having a hard time. I've cut down on the time i spend on the computer at home and i don't use my work's computer for personal stuff -- just my phone and it really does take quite a long time to read posts + responses and then comment yourself. Kuddos to the very active members we have on the board! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557234 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:39:52 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 557234@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes one member will comment on how a specific piece another member owns would work in an outfit and I am amazed that anyone remembers (although I do remember Suz's red coat). I have spent a lot of time this weekend online and still haven't kept up. </p> <p>I try to comment on threads that don't have a lot of action or if I have a constructive comment or sometimes just because I am drawn to a look but I don't remember enough to be specific often. I envy those who can retain that much information. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557217 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:15:12 +0000 ironkurtin 557217@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't keep up. But I do try to respond when I think I have something to say! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557216 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:14:43 +0000 lyn* 557216@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I become more selective about what to read ... I try to get to all the posts that I've already replied to once, to keep up the flow of the convo first. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557214 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:12:46 +0000 annagybe 557214@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not allowed to use work computers for facebook, so when I don't have a patient I'm here. I have a tendency to keep the browser window open on my desk. Sometimes I get slammed with patients, so I maybe logged in, but I'm not really here.<br /> I don't respond to every thread even when I have the time. I admit I have a very specific style filter. It is hard for me to comment on modern classic and a lot of other styles because for me they are a bit boring. I can appreciate it, but I really don't think I could add anything constructive. But I also want to encourage people to step out of their comfort zones. In real life I'm honest to a fault and can be very blunt. That can come off as rudeness on the internet. So I try not to be too critical. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557210 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 01:03:02 +0000 Jonesy 557210@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I try to comment on most or all of the WIWs when I am online, then I get to other threads next. I prioritize WIWs because, at least to me, they require the most effort and people make themselves the most vulnerable when they post them (at least that's how I feel when I do), so I feel compelled to honor that effort and "putting yourself out there" thing with a reply, even if it's brief. </p> <p>When I am working from home, which is several days a week, I am at my computer all day long, so it's easy for me to pop on here quite a bit. On days that I'm too busy and can't be around too much, I just tell myself not to stress about trying to catch up or anything, just do the best I can :). </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557204 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:49:20 +0000 Anonymous 557204@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't .... I just try to give back as much as I take.... If that makes any sense at all! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557202 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:47:52 +0000 Debbie 557202@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I try and response to what I can. My time lately is a lot more limited. I do feel guilty that I can't response to everything or even read everything but I try to respond as much as I can. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557194 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:42:00 +0000 taylor 557194@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>great post Marley!<br /> I try to respond to as many threads as possible while on YLF giving my time parameters. I usually start with something that catches my eye, then I hit the orphan/low traffic threads that get lost under the big ones.<br /> Sometimes I would like to respond but I just don't have much to add. For instance Rae's honeymoon thread!! I would have loved to add something fabulous, but i am hardly the world traveler so I enjoyed reading instead of adding something really ordinary:)<br /> If I miss a day or so, many pages go unread...again time parameters:) We all have other obligations. I don't think even Angie can get to them all:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557192 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:39:21 +0000 qfbrenda 557192@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't! LOL No way could I read everything. But I do read fast which helps. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-keep-up#post-557187 Mon, 05 Mar 2012 00:33:55 +0000 Suz 557187@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's really tough, isn't it? I've just had an enforced break for a while and coming back feels positively terrifying! I've missed so much, where to start, and how to keep up afterwards? </p> <p>I don't have a plan yet. </p> <p>I like GP's suggestion; if we can respond to more threads than we post we're doing fine. And I also like Rae's approach: sign on to the threads that you're most likely to have something valuable to add to. Or if you see some lonely person waiting for a response and not yet getting it, that's a great place to jump in. </p> <p>And then forgive yourself if you can't do more than that! </p>