https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 26 Apr 2026 08:55:18 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073718 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 02:56:17 +0000 Jaime 1073718@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I also&nbsp;love IK's first response. In truth I have noticed that if DH expresses disapproval in the end I am likely to stop wearing that item or combination (after defiantly wearing it as planned most of the time). That is unless I wear it and love it. DH doesn't know much about fashion but he has a great eye for color and graphic design and, after all, if I may paraphrase what&nbsp;Gaylene says, why shouldn't I take his opinion seriously? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073658 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 01:56:57 +0000 Wendi1984 1073658@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My husband rarely disapproves of my outfits. We do have an ongoing disagreement about semi-tucking, though, which I continue to do even though he thinks it looks weird and insists no one else does it!</p> <p>This morning, though, I put on a long-sleeve button-down denim shirt with a fairly full a-line skirt. He thought the skirt made my hips look big, rather than just accentuating my waist. I didn't totally see it his way, but I changed the skirt for black ponte skinnies tucked into my cowboy boots, and added a fun necklace. Cute and comfortable.</p> <p>Next time I wear the skirt, I will probably wear it with my denim jacket. It was too warm for the jacket today. I've worn it that way before, and dh likes it. So no biggie.</p> <p>I usually do listen to my husband and make a change if there's time. I have lots of choices now, thanks to YLF. Plus I can always wear the skirt and shirt to rehearsal tomorrow night. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073636 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 01:32:09 +0000 Gaylene 1073636@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Just popping back in here after I've had a chance to read some of the other comments. I think my willingness to accept my husband's opinion is because he'd never, in a thousand years, even <i>think</i> of telling me <b>not</b> to wear something, no matter how much he disliked it. His intentions are truly to be helpful, sort of the equivalent of letting me know I have something stuck in my tooth before I leave the house. He is far more likely to be complimentary even to the point where I have to work <i>really</i> hard most times to get him to admit to his feelings. He actually pushes me to be more adventurous because he knows that I don't always want to play it safe with my outfits.</p> <p>I take a dubious view of any man telling the woman in his life she<b> </b><i><b>can</b>'t</i> wear something. <i>Uh, honey, yes I can, just watch me</i> would be my response, just before I walked out the door, slamming it in his face. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073600 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 00:50:30 +0000 DonnaF 1073600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmmm.&nbsp; I generally don't ask unless it is whether I should keep something I just bought that I'm wavering on, and he never spontaneously offers one way or another.&nbsp; DD is the one who will give me the thumbs down.&nbsp; I, OTOH, told him he needed to change because he wanted to go to an even with me while wearing a raggedy cheap T, baggy old jeans, and ugly athletic shoes, and I knew he could do better since I bought him three nice pairs of jeans a few months ago that turned into four after he wore a pair I was going to return.&nbsp; He changed the T and kept the rest which made it marginally okay.&nbsp; Mostly, he looks presentable when we go out since I don't go with him to the gym.</p> <p>I think DH mostly keeps his negative opinions to himself.&nbsp; My funky Fly London sandals are probably a man repeller style, but they are comfy for hours and long distances.&nbsp; I think if they made me whine and become super high maintenance I would get flack about them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073578 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 00:29:20 +0000 Mo 1073578@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lol Anna! &nbsp;And to Gaylene's comment - I think if you are sartorially opposite of your SO things are different than if you tend to fall in line on the conservative vs. outlandish or edgy scale. &nbsp;If you are dating a punk and wear very conservative things, it might not go over so well. &nbsp;But then if you are both typical middle America types and wear conventionally accepted styles there is less likely to be a WTF are you wearing moment I would think. </p> <p></p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073572 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 00:19:51 +0000 annagybe 1073572@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I guess there are advantages to being single. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073570 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 00:17:51 +0000 ironkurtin 1073570@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love my husband and I respect his opinion on a lot of things, but fashion is just not his area, and he doesn't have to understand it for me to enjoy it.&nbsp; It is true that when he dislikes an outfit I feel bad, and I value his praise when I get it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073555 Mon, 04 Nov 2013 00:03:22 +0000 Transcona Shannon 1073555@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My husband and I have extremely different taste in clothes. He's very conservative and doesn't really experiment too much with his style - unless it's something I've purchased for him.</p> <p>He does however understand my desire to experiment and try new things and even if he doesn't "get it" won't really say anything although I can tell sometimes by THE LOOK. However if he has a really visceral reaction to something, he will definitely say something. For example I had a tee shirt one time that was a light cream colour and had a stripe of black lace that went down the centre. The first (and only) time I ever wore it he promptly blurted out "that's hideous"…'nuff said. I never wore it again.</p> <p>He does give sweet compliments when he likes something though so it all balances out. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073437 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 22:17:36 +0000 TraceyLiz65 1073437@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>He gives me so many compliments that I do respect him when he doesn't like something. &nbsp;He works 6 days a week, which leaves plenty of time for me to wear things he isn't as fond of, like my black and white oxfords that he calls costume shoes... added recent oufit in case you missed it.&nbsp;</p> <p>I buy most of his clothes since he only purchases football and baseball gear for himself. &nbsp;Since he humors me and takes a lot of my advice it makes since that he should have some input in what i wear on date nights or hanging out with our friends. &nbsp;</p> <p>It happens over so few things that it really is easy to just accept the differences when they do occur.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073384 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 21:38:06 +0000 Aziraphale 1073384@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I thought about this some more. &nbsp;Ingunn, why does your husband think the purple skirt is frumpy? &nbsp;Is it because it's full? &nbsp;Do you have any other full skirts? &nbsp;How does he feel about those? &nbsp;Or is it the colour?</p> <p>I thought of another example where my husband didn't like my choice. &nbsp;I had this awesome pair of bejewelled wedge sandals, although I wore them a lot and they died this summer. &nbsp;Anyway, my honey thought they were "old lady on a cruise" footwear. &nbsp;He never warmed up to them in the two years I had them. &nbsp;I wore them anyway because (a) I disagreed with him, and (b) they were my only non-flip-flop sandals, there are lots of places you can't wear flip flops, and my only other option was closed-toe shoes and sweaty feet. &nbsp;(I now have a wardrobe hole for versatile sandals!).</p> <p>Anyway, my husband was quite clear about why he didn't like my sandals. &nbsp;He thought they were frumpy because of both the beading and the wedge heel. &nbsp;(Men are not fans of wedges, it seems). &nbsp;I can respect his point of view if he has reasons. &nbsp;Doesn't mean I have to agree. &nbsp;:-) &nbsp;My point is, perhaps your husband can give you good reasons why he doesn't like the purple skirt. &nbsp;I'm sorry he didn't, because I thought it was cute, by the way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073312 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 20:47:41 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1073312@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My DH has a good eye for silhouette and proportion, and flattering colors. But he doesn't really keep up with the trends in women's clothes, so if he's not a fan of something it tends to be a newer trend that's not so traditionally flattering. On the rare occasion he buys me clothes, they are spot on my taste. </p> <p>I value his feedback on my outfits, but he doesn't really like having to give it all the time so I just take it gracefully when it comes. It wouldn't stop me from wearing something I really loved and that he hated, or vice versa - I wouldn't say we have veto power on each others' clothes, that's a little too controlling for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073291 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 20:27:13 +0000 deb 1073291@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The only time I <i>think</i> my husband would say something about my clothing choices is if I walked out of the house naked. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073290 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 20:25:06 +0000 Suz 1073290@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Such an interesting range of responses...and SO's!&nbsp;</p> <p>Mr. Suz is most likely to express disapproval of anything that represents a new trend, especially if he doesn't see it fully styled. He won't understand it, and it will make him nervous, and he'll make unhappy faces while I'm trying it on, and sometimes comment negatively, too.&nbsp;</p> <p>Then again, it can work the opposite way as well. Sometimes I'll put on a supposedly man-repelling item (like my first BF jeans) and he will fall all over himself with joy -- even before it is styled!</p> <p>In other words, he keeps me guessing with his opinions.&nbsp;</p> <p>Typically, if he doesn't like it, and I do, I will just work on styling it -- and after a wear or two it will become his favourite item in my wardrobe.&nbsp;</p> <p>Interestingly in relation to your outfit, one item that he's consistently been negative about is my full bronze leaf-print skirt with asymmetrical pleating. I love this skirt and think it is super fab. He thinks it's dumb. I rarely wear it anyway, but I do wear it in his company sometimes. Ordinarily only for events that are not focused on us as a couple if that makes any sense. More for appearances I make or writing related engagements.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> <p></p> <p>I don't know. Maybe full skirts are just man repelling to our men? I'm not sure!&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit/page/2#post-1073277 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 20:00:18 +0000 Ingunn 1073277@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A expected, there is a lot of wisdom on the forum. I agree with Gaylene that it &nbsp;means more to me&nbsp;to have my husband's approval than anyone else's. That doesn't mean that I have to adjust all thee time. Yesterday was a social event, and then I think it is more important. I will gladly be wearing my purple skirt for work, out with other friends etc, or at home even if I know he doesn't like it that much. I have a very caring husband, and he would never say things about my looks to hurt me. On the contrary, he is always paying attention to how I look, even after all these years,&nbsp;&nbsp;and often gives me compliments, but I know he will never say it if he doesn't mean it.&nbsp;He also has very good taste, and I trust his judgement almost always. In this case, I think he just needs to adjust his eye ;)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073262 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 19:46:38 +0000 Kristin L 1073262@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can't think of a time my BF hasn't liked something I wore. He lets me know if he likes something I'm wearing, but most of the time he doesn't say much. And I'm okay with that.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073231 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 19:15:25 +0000 KeepTheKey 1073231@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've only been dating my guy for 3 months, and we only see each other every other week (long distance relationship) but I've found that he's very supportive of just about everything I wear. Even my man repelling pants!&nbsp;His only firm "no" is leopard print. He thinks it a trashy and&nbsp;Jersey Shore-esque. It happens to be a favorite of mine, so I'm going to try to show him how it can be done in a classy way :-)</p> <p>In the past, I've dealt with a very picky SO who was quite vocal about what he didn't like. Most of the time, to avoid the hassle, I just changed. Perhaps it sounds selfish that I was so annoyed by his preferences, but the issue of his preferences, and him trying to change me,&nbsp;ran through most of our relationship. It sounds like this isn't an issue, for you, Ingunn :-)</p> <p>Btw, I love that purple skirt, and the way you styled it! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073211 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 18:51:05 +0000 Anonymous 1073211@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My husband will say "you can wear that just not around me, you can walk on the other side of the street".&nbsp; He doesn't follow thru though, and will be seen with me.&nbsp; Mostly he likes how I dress, sometimes he doesn't.&nbsp; I trust his opinion and usually go with it but sometimes I don't... I think I only ask his opinion when I'm not liking something 100% myself. He doesn't offers his opinion right out when he doesn't like something, it's only when I ask.&nbsp; He does often tell me I look nice with no coaxing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073205 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 18:43:58 +0000 Day Vies 1073205@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm actually shocked he thought the outfit was frumpy and prim?? WOW. I thought it was very much you and in keeping with your modern classic style. </p> <p>I'm not sure when I know when my SO doesn't like or prefer my outfit. I'll have to ask him. Usually he likes them 99% of the time. I'm usually surprised when he likes a new combination that I'm trying out. </p> <p>ETA- So I asked him if there ever was something I wore he didn't like. He said no. I think our styles overlap and usually I'm the one testing the boundaries and pushing him to try a new color or something different. I think my style choices have influenced him to be a little more adventurous. Overall we both live in modern classic preppy land (we both love color!).</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073202 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 18:38:10 +0000 minimalist 1073202@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ah, time needed to adjust to a new look or trend, and associations with someone they find unappealing. Sorry that first outfit got nixed, Ingunn!</p> <p>Bf always notices what I'm wearing, and often says I look terrific. It was getting annoying, because I know d@mn well I usually look like I just fell out of a Goodwill bin. He has a *really* good eye, so this was a huge disconnect for me. Finally I asked him, and he said he always thinks I look fantastic, but that doesn't mean he doesn't notice the difference when I make an effort. To wildly paraphrase what Gaylene says, critical feedback from someone who 100% supports me is a gift I don't want to miss out on.</p> <p>After I asked, a few months ago, he hesitantly shared preferences about toenail color. I usually had something in the blue/green range on, or a hot pink the exact shade of a Marie Jo Avero set. Turns out he thought the greens/blues were frumpy, and the pink too girly. So for the past few months, I've been getting pedicures in cool reds, and even tried colored polish on my fingernails. I'm still somewhat conflicted about letting a man influence my mani/pedi colors, but he has a really good eye, so I'm going with it for now. Also, he's been getting regular man-manicures and pedicures since I noted discomfort in caused by some rough edges in close moments. So tweaking my color is the least I can do ... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073198 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 18:31:33 +0000 Gaylene 1073198@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hmm, I'm not quite getting your point, Vix.</p> <p>I totally agree that feedback needs to be filtered before one acts upon it. I wouldn't have survived very long as a prof if I didn't apply a multitude of filters every time I went through my course evaluations--a glass of wine and a sense of humor being two mandatory filters that I recommend to all first-time instructors. :)</p> <p>But my early morning fog must have affected my writing; my point was I consider my husband's feedback a rare and valuable commodity because it springs from a desire to be truly helpful to me--something that I can't always say about others. Of course we all ultimately have a choice to accept or reject feedback, but, to me, feedback coming from someone who supports me so completely is something that I wouldn't dismiss lightly just because he is not a fashion "expert".</p> <p>ETA: Just wanted to add that, despite not knowing much about fashion, it was my husband's feedback that made me forgo my opposition to slouchy BF jeans and slouchy khakis this summer. His take was they looked great once I styled them according to Angie's guidelines. Total thumbs ups and gave me the confidence to sport them around my somewhat conservative environment. That scenerio is, <i>by far</i>, more common than his not liking an outfit I've put together.</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073169 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:59:24 +0000 catgirl 1073169@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Since we work in the same profession, I will only take it seriously if he says "you're wearing that to work?".&nbsp; Otherwise, I ignore him and he pretty much accepts me as I am.&nbsp; He's probably thinking all kind of unsavory man-repelled thoughts, though. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073167 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:58:28 +0000 Scarlet 1073167@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would say it's an art. Sometimes things are just new and I know he will eventually do an about face and love it, and some things are just to please me on my own time, but if it's for something where we are going out as a couple I would change like you did. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073166 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:57:17 +0000 Janet 1073166@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My hubs is so diplomatic. Once in a blue moon, he will confess something along the lines of, "That's not my favorite thing on you." Unless it's something I absolutely love, it usually means that it falls into the Goodwill bag. He has very good taste and is quite attuned to my style, so I do trust his eye. He would let me know in a heartbeat if something was too frumpy for me, since he has no tolerance for frump. He's awesome to shop with, because he nudges me into trying things I normally wouldn't try, but he is quick to admit if something does or doesn't work. </p> <p>Sometimes I have to be really careful to style something properly when I show it to him. I put on a dress once for an event -- a simple fitted black and white polka dot number -- and he was not enthusiastic. I added the shoes -- some high-heeled strappy platforms -- and he changed his mind 100%. He often needs to see something in its proper context to see its potential. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073151 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:47:21 +0000 rachylou 1073151@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>He thought the purple skirt outfit was "frumpy"? Interesting. Interesting!</p> <p>When my bf doesn't like an outfit or an item of clothing, I do my affronted, whinge-y, hyper teen girl routine. <i>"What?! Noo! Hooow can you say that to me?! Noooooo!"</i> It's good for a laugh.</p> <p>And then I go out in it and get lots of compliments, and that's good for another laugh.</p> <p>But the fact of the matter is, bf is always correct, it's just that he forgets he's in LaLa Land now. This is Clown Clothes Country. We don't do no pretty, normal and decent here... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073150 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:47:14 +0000 Vix 1073150@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, in addition to how people take feedback in general,&nbsp;I think the feedback is both relationship-dependent and partner-specific.&nbsp;</p> <p>You said,&nbsp;<i>"I think my husband's eye often reflects the way I'm likely to be seen by those around me" &nbsp;</i>and</p> <p><i>"I must admit I get baffled sometimes at the way partners' opinions get such little love on the forum.</i></p> <p>Feedback is a daily part of my professional life, so I'm used to applying a multitude of filters. And if I'm given the choice of processing feedback and ending up with a solution that has my 100% approval, I do so.&nbsp;</p> <p>In my personal life, then, I opt for applying feedback that leads to&nbsp;100% self-approval. I feel I'm the best judge of how I want to look and feel, and I accept the risk of disapproval that&nbsp;making my choice carries. </p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073135 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:20:45 +0000 Gaylene 1073135@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If my husband didn't like what I was wearing, I'd listen to him. While I am totally behind the concept of "wear what pleases you", and recognize that following fashion trends might not be his strong suit, I think my husband's eye often reflects the way I'm likely to be seen by those around me. And, ultimately, I prefer to be seen as attractive and fashionable by the people who are actually in my real life, and who see me on a day-to-day basis, as opposed to ones I've never met.</p> <p>That said, in 40 years, I can think of only a few times when my husband has actually voiced his opinion he didn't like an outfit I'd put together. With the benefit of hindsight, I'd have to say he was right every single time.</p> <p>I must admit I get baffled sometimes at the way partners' opinions get such little love on the forum. To me, getting a compliment from my husband is worth more than from any other person, but I sometimes feel that I'm in the minority. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073130 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:13:26 +0000 RunswithDolphins 1073130@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think you found a very mature and elegant way to make the evening a happy one.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073128 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:10:30 +0000 jayne 1073128@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had to laugh out loud at IK's comment.&nbsp; My sweetie comments very very positively when he likes it, notices it, or I ask.&nbsp; What I understand is that if he doesn't say anything, I may consider it not approved of.&nbsp; So we have a good understanding, that if he doesn't comment, I don't ask and we are both happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073126 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 17:09:36 +0000 Aquamarine 1073126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My husband usually thinks I look fine, so when he *does* dislike something I do try to listen to his opinion. Generally he doesn't comment negatively so this is not a big issue in our relationship. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-handle-dhs-disapproval-of-your-outfit#post-1073117 Sun, 03 Nov 2013 16:55:34 +0000 mcchannen 1073117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My SO and I will often&nbsp;disagree on styles--like many of you, it's often because it's something new, or something I'm wearing because it's work appropriate (so not something I wear on dates, for example). If I'm truly committed to something, I'll wear it anyway, but he has thankfully steered me away from styles that really don't suit me at all&nbsp;(frills anywhere, plain cardigans, bootcut pants for the most part, definitely flared jeans). I find that often others have their own issues with clothing items that really have nothing to do with you personally, just leftover memories (like of a frumpy colleague!) </p>