https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 05 Apr 2026 02:41:39 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-440574 Sun, 09 Oct 2011 20:42:14 +0000 Anonymous 440574@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One of the techniques i read about in a book is wear all your clothes twice! Make a full audit of the closet ( excel, word , pen&amp;paper, pictures, etc) purge what you think, and wear all the other. ALL. Even that mortifying sale purchase ( hey, it wasn't purged, wear it! ) . You get to realize a lot of what kind of clothes you have, what else you need, etc. And focusing to create an outfit around a specific piece will be a surge of creativity! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-440026 Sat, 08 Oct 2011 16:30:47 +0000 ironkurtin 440026@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Claudia, that is an amazing article. It explains A LOT. And actually, knowing about this makes it WAY easier for me to stop than other rewards, etc. Not sure why. I just don't like being the victim of biology.</p> <p>Also, since I work in gaming, it explains a lot about video games, too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-440013 Sat, 08 Oct 2011 16:03:50 +0000 Claudia 440013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ironkurtin, an interesting article from Slate.com on "Seeking" behavior and technology. It helps to explains why your Ebay issue (and online shopping in general) is especially dangerous in stimulating dopamine levels: </p> <p><a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/science/2009/08/seeking.single.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.slate.com/articles/.....ingle.html</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437838 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:23:04 +0000 mamaKate 437838@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks, IK for the succinct summaries of the advice!<br /> I definitely notice in myself the addictive quality of the hunt, and my urge is strongest after a difficult day. My coping mechanisms generally fall into the categories of either "wait" or "distract myself with a different activity or pursuit." I am currently about one week into an informal abstention. I think by this point I should be giving myself gold stars like I do for my kids. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437816 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 18:39:28 +0000 Kim 437816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Doing a 3 month SYC helped me immensely in this area. I didn't feel like it did while I was participating but I DID notice the effect when SYC was over for me. I was *much* more careful about what I brought into my closet and that has stayed with me throughout the year (I did SYC from Jan 1 to April 1, 2011). I had a few little epiphanies along the way, but the largest benefit occurred after.</p> <p>I wanted to learn how to be happy with what I already had, and SYC did that for me.</p> <p>Keep going. It's hard but you'll learn a lot! (Even if you don't think so right now.) It's quite eye opening. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437805 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 18:02:07 +0000 ironkurtin 437805@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Steph, I haven't had a TV set for years. We do streaming exclusively. Sorry, can't blame TV for this one. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437800 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 17:43:50 +0000 mrseccentric 437800@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>also - turn off the tube. seriously. this falls under the heading of 'limit/stop exposure to media which encourages buying stuff'. good luck! steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437785 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 17:19:09 +0000 ironkurtin 437785@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Perhaps my issue is that I don't really have a goal like that (ok, I would like a new mattress because I hate this one, and to replace our toilets, but - somehow, this is lacking incentive). I would just like to show my own inner maturity and discipline. If I could conquer my love of the new joyfully and gracefully, that would be a plus. Just haven't found joy/grace yet, although I am trying! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437742 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:23:04 +0000 DressLover 437742@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That's good though! If you didn't get lemons, wear those purchases. Just use the dollar amount on paper as a reminder. Maybe tape something non-fashion related next to it that is a goal like a trip or a new couch or whatever. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437738 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:19:06 +0000 ironkurtin 437738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>DL: Good idea.</p> <p>Although... I mostly love all of those things! Bleagh. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty/page/2#post-437735 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:16:09 +0000 DressLover 437735@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>IK, you said you have a weakness for eBay, right? Doesn't Paypal keep transaction history? Why don't you go through and add up all your eBay purchases for the year, write it down on a sticky note, and stick it to your computer screen as a reminder? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437733 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:13:47 +0000 catgirl 437733@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Did you already mention pay only cash? Or have someone objective oversee your purchases (extreme, but a solution for people who feel out of control)? Using only funds from sales of other items? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437731 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:12:39 +0000 Claudia 437731@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ummm, just say no, or ask yourself: what would Jesus do?! LOL </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437725 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 16:09:48 +0000 ironkurtin 437725@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OK, so, other concrete solutions:</p> <p>- being disciplined<br /> - waiting<br /> - one in, one out<br /> - visualizing other goals<br /> - buying other things<br /> - finding a creative outlet that feeds urge for novelty<br /> - creative self-challenges<br /> - think about having to move it<br /> - embrace unselfish causes</p> <p>Any others? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437650 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 15:04:56 +0000 Isabel 437650@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am with Nakidra on this. As I get older, I have a better sense of what works. I am also, inherently, practical. So if something isn't useful, it goes or never comes in. However, I still like *stuff* and I struggle with wanting things and considering myself someone who is environmentally concerned and anti-consumerism. Don't get me wrong, these are beliefs that I can't seem to execute ! LOL ! </p> <p>I agree with the others on many points. Part of it is the "gathering" genetics, part of it is societal and commercial, and so on.</p> <p>I am not sure that we can really defeat it but I think that we can try to tame it and mold it to work in our lives. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437643 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:56:33 +0000 Anna 437643@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you get involved in something bigger than yourself, it's easy to realize how silly the constant spending quest can be. Volunteer at a food bank or a homeless shelter, or a nursing home. Spend your money in a way that makes you feel proud, and does some greater good. It's a win-win! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437624 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 14:39:46 +0000 texstyle 437624@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I rationalize that I'm just still working on that "perfect wardrobe" - you know the one where you only have clothing that you wear often and love because it's all the "just right" classic/fasionable/slightly trendy pieces.</p> <p> It's just taking me lots of trial and error to build that wardrobe. ;-). </p> <p>And then there is the stain/tear factor where you lose one of your favorite items and just *have* to replace it. And the "I found it on sale" issue. Or how great someone else looks one day and I must try and copy that look....</p> <p>But where do you get rid of those "wrong buys" - items with tags still on them after a year or more, still hanging in the closet because you thought they would work one day? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437243 Wed, 05 Oct 2011 00:47:03 +0000 ironkurtin 437243@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh great. Ebay is feeding me dopamine. No wonder I can't stop. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437142 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:46:21 +0000 CocoLion 437142@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you Claudia for such a fine explanation. I have heard this as well, that novelty seeking stimulates dopamine in the brain much as addictive drugs do. I had an ex who had this problem with women -- always seeking someone new for that dopamine rush.</p> <p>I have no solutions because I love to shop. My strategy is to pay off all credit cards each month or pay cash. That has helped A LOT. I still pay all of my bills. I don't like to share this about myself but let's just say I have a "history" with addictions in the past. I know shopping is sort of an addiction, but it's not like the other stuff that ruined 10 years of my life.</p> <p>I guess it's a bit of a razor's edge -- hobby/pass time on the one side ... addiction/obsession on the other.</p> <p>I have been through a ton of therapy and recovery and their answer is always that I am stuffing a big empty hole with these behaviors. But I am a very happy person without empty holes! It is what Claudia said, that is more of it. We are just wired these ways.</p> <p>Hey, we are supporting the American economy, too. ; ) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437136 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:43:10 +0000 Elly 437136@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Hunter gatherers would never ever be clothes' horses---- first, they understand the importance of leaving plenty of beautiful things out there for the other members of the ecosystem and for the continuance of the species in that location. Secondly, they moved frequently and tended to have very few possessions because in most places throughout the world hunter gatherers did not have domesticated beasts of burden-- they carried all their possessions on their backs over many many miles when they moved camps. </p> <p>Actually, despite that little detour it brings up one of my own strategies and one of the reasons I am a small wardrobe lady. I have moved house 12 times in the last four years. Usually by myself--- the "all my worldly possessions in the back of my car" types of moves. Honestly, as much as I love beautiful things my very first move like that soured me on excess. Since then I always think about what I will do with items-- where I will wear them, how they will fit into my life, and are they worth moving? There have been many fabulous things I have passed up because of practicality or because they would not get enough use to justify having to lug them around. I currently have five dresses and often see others I love, however, I can only justify buying one more (something conservative for work/funerals) because the ones I have don't get enough use to add more. </p> <p>One of my last moves was kinda scary, last minute, and fly by night. I had to pack up and leave then and there. Around the same time I realized how important looking good was to feeling good when nothing else seems to be going right. Since then I have felt more comfortable when my "good clothes" all comfortably fit in my suitcases (this doesn't include all the ts and crummy jeans and sweats). At this stage in my life, it really works for me and makes me feel more free--- I have a few moves coming up in the immediate future and it means that I don't have to worry about moving and storing belongings when opportunity knocks. It also means I can justify having more books and art pieces, which are my Achilles heel. </p> <p>I also hate hate hate it when I end up having to throw away pieces because they have become horribly dated before I wear them out--- truly trend things I can forgive, but when skirts and tops that aren't really trendy get worn less in 5 years than how many times I need to wear them in order to justify owning them it gets my goat. I dislike them taking up room in my closet. I would rather wear the same top every week or two for a couple of seasons than have enough tops to get through 3 weeks or a month and having to purge them after only a few wears because they are dated. So, I do my best only to buy things I truly love and can see myself wearing often--- I don't worry about wearing out my favorites, rather I think about getting to wear my favorites often. </p> <p>Probably not helpful . . . but might provide some insight into the decision making process of a "say no to the pretty clothes" person. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437127 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:32:50 +0000 Claudia 437127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There is real science to help explain it! </p> <p>Animals and humans are hardwired to enjoy seeking things out – and for novelty. Curiosity/interest/anticipation is one of the four core and primal emotions identified by researchers, and mapped out in studies for where it occurs in the brain with brain imaging through electrical stimulation of the brain. It is called the “SEEKING Circuit:” <a href="http://www.coxontool.com/index.php/Clippings/SeekingCircuit" rel="nofollow">http://www.coxontool.com/index.....ingCircuit</a></p> <p>We share a powerful and primal urge to want to seek out what is needed to survive and to be curious about the environment in order to discover the things we need and want, and to avoid danger, an evolutionary necessity. People and animals like to find good things such as food, shelter, a mate, Prada handbags, Christian Louboutin shoes on discount, etc. We enjoy the hunt.</p> <p>Just the act of seeking is a positive emotion, in and of itself. The main neurotransmitter associated with the "seeking circuit" of the brain is dopamine, which is also involved in a lot of drug addictions, and all of the stimulants raise dopamine levels in the brain. It is the simple novelty or newness of the item that is pleasurable. We are driven by evolution to seek out new things. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437126 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:32:45 +0000 mrseccentric 437126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>oh, dianthus and Lisa, really great ideas! dianthus, that is so smart and true about creativity - another wonderful thing about your idea is that when you switch off between different creative areas is tends to spark new thoughts in both arenas. wonderful points!</p> <p>Lisa, that is a very well put description of your process. I'm especially tickled by it because, as a meditator, it could also be described as a mindfulness meditation on/about your wardrobe and your relation to clothing. clothing is very important to humans and i find very worthwhile contemplating. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences!!! steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437117 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:20:44 +0000 mrseccentric 437117@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>nicoleb hit the nail on the head.</p> <p>every time you turn on the tube (the biggest/worst trigger), open a magazine, look at a sales flyer, go to the mall, etc. - you are interacting with a corporation. The corporation's sole purpose is to make you want want want so you will buy buy buy. </p> <p>They do not care if you like it, if you can afford it, it if looks good on you or will keep you warm or if it will bankrupt you (literally). These organizations do not have your best interests at heart. And they have billions of dollars at their disposal to figure out the most effective ways to manipulate you.</p> <p>Turn off the tube, don't go to the mall, etc. etc. If you don't believe what i say is true, i challenge you to simply not watch tv for a month and observe how you feel, your reactions, etc. at teh end of the month. hunter-gatherers had/have plenty of time in which to sing, talk to the family, weave, sculpt, paint, and memorize incredible amounts of song, philosophy, history because they focus on obtaining what they need and when that is taken care of they move onto something else.</p> <p>you can bake cookies, read a book, talk to your neighbors, go on a walk, draw, sew, on and on instead of shopping. there are also plenty of ways to enjoy clothes besides shopping - learn how to do your own alterations, how to sew for yourself, perfect your photography/modelling techniques for those WIW pix, make up challenges for yourself (SYC for loox based on a blogger or YLFer you admire, do an all-pants week, or an all dress week, no-repeat month, etc.). you can take a local class on graphic design or color theory if you want to blow your mind about putting outfits together (or do your own research online). </p> <p>obviously this is a topic i feel strongly about. novelty is fun and we need a certain amount to keep mentally and emotionally healthy. but it can get out of balance if you can't feel happy and content without something new all the time. for me, i don't want and don't like to feel controlled by those types of forces and urges coming from outside of myself. meditation is the main thing that helped me see into this and not be so driven by it. good luck!! steph </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437104 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:08:34 +0000 Lisa 437104@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with others that said come up with new combinations with outfits. I try to do this. But one thing that stops me is, when I want to grab something new, then I MUST give up something in the closet. The thought of having to get rid of an item makes me pause. When your closet is full of clothes that are in good shape and fit, it's not as easy to justify getting rid of them. </p> <p>Another tactic I am using is, challenging myself. For example, right now I am recovering from foot surgery. I am typically a jeans gal, everyday. Since jeans are not easy to put on over my foot, I am wearing as many shorts/dresses/skirts as I can. If they are not worn by the end of my "lack of jeans phase," then the items have to go. Especially if I start to repeat, and I already have started repeating despite having plenty other items to pick from. This is two fold for me, I get to purge items AND I get to wear more items that previously were sitting around. </p> <p>My last tactic is, I think about how much I really want that trendy/new item. I am loving a lot of the fall trends right now. But many of them would not work for me in the longer term. I like the furry vests, but I am often cold. I would need more arm coverage more months out of the year than what a vest offers. So despite how neat they are to me, I can turn away because I know I could not use it for too long. This is preventing me from breaking SYC and buying a quick to be wardrobe orphan! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437100 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:03:45 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 437100@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Personally I blame it on OCD or ADD. I like change too and I get bored very easily so I like to have new things. I have accepted it and try to work with it now. It does help that I have no spouse who gets bothered by my spending ways.</p> <p>Editing to add:</p> <p>I bought almost no new clothes for about two months during the summer. I still shopped but I was renovating and decorating so it was items for the house (bathtubs, rugs, paint, pictures, bedding, backsplash, flooring, etc). The lesson is to have an alternate outlet for your creative side. I use fashion as a means of being creative. I have had phases that were gardening and stained glass work. I do need a creative outlet though. Perhaps if you took an art class you could satisfy the need to mix texture, color, and proportion without clothing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437096 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 22:00:46 +0000 rae 437096@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Heh, great parenthetical, Suz.! :)</p> <p>One trick I forgot to add is to have something else that you're saving time, cash, or space for. Sometimes I think, "Would I rather have this top or have 20% of what I need for X." Sometimes X is a vacation, or it might be another clothing item, but it helps keep the quantity down either way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437085 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 21:54:43 +0000 Suz 437085@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Okay. Not only do we need to find our body doubles on YLF, but we could also start a club to pair up the trigger happy shoppers with those of us who are shy and nervous shoppers! I actually find it difficult to shop and I tend not to buy a lot. So it would be great for me to go shopping with a smart, fashion savvy girlfriend who could persuade me to buy! </p> <p>I really loved Bella's summer picture challenge because it helped me think of new ways to wear the stuff that was already in my closet. I think that might quell the shopping urge sometimes for those who are especially prone to it. </p> <p>As for how to persuade yourself to pause before whipping out the charge card, you could always tell yourself that if you are still thinking about the item tomorrow (or three days from now or some other arbitrary limit) then you can go back and get it, and if it is gone, then it simply wasn't meant to be. </p> <p>OR, if you already have a good working wardrobe, you could simply follow the one in one out rule. And if you can't think of anything you are willing to part with, then you can't buy anything new. </p> <p>Would that work? (she asked, doubtfully....) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437075 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 21:44:17 +0000 catgirl 437075@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I am totally with you on the hunter/gatherer mentality. I was contemplating this whole idea because I constantly add to my list. This is often when I turn to thrifting. I could stand to do more hunting/gathering in my own closet, though. I've noticed that as I've painfully gone through what does and doesn't work (often the buy/return/donate/consign route...), I have found certain pieces I will love and use repeatedly, like my leather skirt, this Zara leopard blouse, certain of my boots, my ponte moto jacket. </p> <p>The other problem is that I'm one of those people who truly has fun shopping. And it doesn't have to be for me. I love shopping with and for other people just as much, if not more because it's not my money! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437071 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 21:41:38 +0000 Nakidra 437071@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>As I've gotten older this had been easier. I know, for the most part, what looks good on me, I know what I need, what I don't need and try to stick to some pretty clear objectives. I also try to think about what I can afford and what I'm willing to spend on certain things. Don't get me wrong, I love new things! I love it when the UPS man leaves a neat little package on my doorstep, but I just put more thought into what I buy now that I've got a little age on my side. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-do-you-defeat-the-constant-desire-for-novelty#post-437064 Tue, 04 Oct 2011 21:36:33 +0000 ironkurtin 437064@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>A few things mentioned here are...<br /> - Not looking<br /> - Buying little things<br /> - Having a strict budget<br /> - Giving in</p> <p>Anyone have something that actually makes them pause before purchasing? Jedi mind tricks? I'm open! </p>