https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 20 May 2026 07:44:15 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/3#post-1970846 Wed, 31 Oct 2018 16:52:58 +0000 rachylou 1970846@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Haha, Kiki, love your statement: “I got over myself with YLF's help”</p> <p>In this category for me is white shoes, cuz I gots the big flippers.</p> <p>Not in this category for me is white pants. Angie challenged me, and I took the challenge - and actually quite liked the outfit - but I still just don’t like white pants. I don’t like wearing them. I’m RATE and the look is too clean and crisp for me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/3#post-1970773 Wed, 31 Oct 2018 14:20:22 +0000 KikiG 1970773@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There are trends I am very open to from the beginning.&nbsp; Very open to double breasted jackets, that was an excellent look for me in the 90s, and I am pretty sure I can make it work again.&nbsp; Room for my shoulders, but fitted at the hip balances my proportions.&nbsp; The longer cardigan is a look that really works for me, and I've embraced it enthusiastically, but I've learned to be picky about shoulder construction and avoid a dropped shoulder.&nbsp; Utility jackets are also a good look for me when the waist hits me in a happy place.&nbsp; Jean jackets, goodness knows I've tried, but they&nbsp; just end up as orphans.&nbsp; They work better in my head than on my body.&nbsp;</p> <p>Some things are not age appropriate, or life appropriate.&nbsp; I'm not going to embrace a graphic tee, for instance, although these are so adorable on other people who aren't me and don't have my life.&nbsp; Not appropriate for my work, not desirable to me for weekends.&nbsp; I'm not a fan of cold shoulders, because literal cold shoulders make me miserable, and I don't want to commit money to what may be an easily dated trend.&nbsp; Some things are very appealing to me, but just don't look good on me.&nbsp; I would&nbsp;<i>love&nbsp;</i>to have a quilted vest or a cute, hip length puffer, but short+boobs=Mrs. Santa on my body in those items.&nbsp; I really don't need extra help looking round.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>Some things I'm all about now, but I was reluctant, but I got over myself with YLF's help:&nbsp; White jeans, booties, skinny jeans.&nbsp; &nbsp;All of these things are wardrobe staples now.&nbsp; What helped? That this is an inclusive and body-friendly environment.&nbsp; When I see people of all shapes rocking a look, I eventually realize I can wear it too.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/3#post-1970771 Wed, 31 Oct 2018 14:01:09 +0000 Anonymous 1970771@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm in your camp LaP, and hesitate to say "I don't get it" &nbsp;many times too. &nbsp; &nbsp;At the end of the day though , it's all subjective and unscientific........</p> <p>I don't think I've ever posted a K/R, because like you, if I'm already questioning it, I know the answer. &nbsp;WIW's are the best thing about this forum, and I will continue to look at them all - even if I don't comment &nbsp; </p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/3#post-1970765 Wed, 31 Oct 2018 13:51:09 +0000 LaPed 1970765@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You know, there are so many things I don't bother commenting on, not because I actively dislike them, but because they just don't wow me or grab me in any way: "If you can't say anything nice..." This is <b></b>never<b></b> a judgment of the wearer, but of the garment itself. The "Best Dress of the NAS" this year springs to mind; I know quite a few people bought it after Angie spotlighted it, but for the life of me I still can't see what's special about it. Other people do, though, so I figure it's my own problem and that I just don't "get it" so to speak. </p> <p>I always want my comments to be genuine, but I also don't want to fill people's threads up with "I don't get it" because that doesn't seem like very useful information most of the time. I do try to be honest in K/R posts when something seems "meh" to me, and I definitely hope others do the same for me. (My own takeaway from K/Rs is that if I'm having enough hesitation that I have to ask, there's usually a reason why and the item should go back, but I have kept a couple things based on forum encouragement that have turned out to be very good additions -- my black-and-white tweed topper for instance.) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/3#post-1970622 Wed, 31 Oct 2018 01:56:17 +0000 Anonymous 1970622@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Agreeing that the new job has been a big perspective shift, so now you have feet in 2 different worlds.<br /> Another thing is a lot of styles dont filter down to the mainstream quickly, and you had said in the jeans hunt you couldn't find the things you wanted to try. Which is telling me they're not seen on the street either, so your eye isn't adjusted to a lot of potential styling irl.<br /> There's so many options though, its perfectly fine to say "nah ill skip this one for now (or permanently)" and see what everyone else comes up with.<br /> I try to keep poison eye to a minimum for what other people wear as their climates, body types, coloring, and life activities are not the same as mine. I love how different we all are! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970562 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 22:20:23 +0000 anchie 1970562@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a feeling that people here are sometimes too nice and often if they don’t like something they rather don’t say anything then give negative feedback. But this is not very useful if someone is genuinely looking for an advice and not just feel good approval. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970517 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 19:21:01 +0000 Jenni NZ 1970517@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've not been sure how to respond to this post. For you Lisap, I do wonder if your new job has made you less big F Fashion than you were before and thus feeling less up with Fashion? And many of us on this forum are more into everywoman small f fashion. ( Thanks Laura for the distinction). Huge generalisation of course. One of my early posts here was "Are fashion magazines mean?" and over time I think I have decided they mostly are. I still read 2 NZ titles for ideas on what is trending in our home country fashion, which is influenced by global trends, but as I am feeling overall better about myself I am not hurt by the sometimes snarky comments in the magazines. I'm not suggesting you make snarky comments! I think your comments are kind and respectful. I guess I wonder though if big F Fashion in larger doses can make people in general be more inclined to diss the choices others make for being outdated.<br /> I really appreciate it if you have a different opinion or if anyone does, as people here do try to express themselves kindly. So do I, but I know it doesn't always work for me, like when I said some boots FashIntern was considering all looked like tramping boots to me. That may have seemed unkind although not intended to be.<br /> I remember a thread I made 6 months ago for Katerina's oldie outfit challenge, wearing a zebra dress. Everyone loved it until Kkards and then you straight after her made thoughtful less approving comments which confirmed my own thoughts about the dress and were really helpful. I haven't worn the dress again, not because of those two comments but because that was how I was already feeling about it. I haven't edited it out yet but may do, as my own feelings are more important than lots of people liking it.<br /> I like what Brooklyn said, and what Gaylene said, and what Rachy said. We have to laugh at ourselves as well and it's why Rachy is one of my fave forum members for her funny and astute comments :)<br /> I hope I don't offend you Lisap by this comment or suggest you are no longer up-to-date, I know I have managed to offend you before and perhaps others when not able to put my thoughts in the best way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970507 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 18:16:19 +0000 Katerina 1970507@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such a wonderful thread, thank you Lisa P and others for the interesting and honest comments.</p> <p>I don’´t have much wisdom to add here. Just wanted to say that people's WIWs are my favourite kind of posts on the forum. I enjoy the WIWs regardless whether the style of the forum member resembles my own or is completely different. I find JOY in looking at how people dress, their ideas, creativity and their JOY and having fun. It is a big part of it for me, apart from getting inspired by new ideas, combinations, colours, trends etc.   </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970398 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 14:05:00 +0000 Sara L. 1970398@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has been a really interesting thread.&nbsp; I do enjoy WIW posts because I get ideas even from aesthetics that are totally different from mine.&nbsp; I may not wear the same silhouette but I still get inspired by color combinations, shoe choices, accessories, etc.&nbsp; Ginger (and others), I would encourage you go continue to post your WIW's because I really enjoy seeing your styles even if it's not my style.</p> <p>Back to the poison eye issue - I tend to dislike new fashion until I get used to seeing it.&nbsp; I know this about myself though so I don't comment on emerging trends or say "Never" because there's a good chance I'll change my mind.&nbsp; One reason I really enjoy YLF is that I get to see those trends and styles on real people with real lives.&nbsp; Instagram bloggers are fun to look at but I don't get the impression most of those outfits are worn for anything other than a photo. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970392 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 13:50:23 +0000 Ginger 1970392@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>lisa p</b>, thank you so much for starting this thread.&nbsp;<b>Laura&nbsp;</b>is absolutely right - there are really two different topics emerging!</p> <p><b>Suz</b>, I do see the general aesthetic on the forum, but I've been hesitant to say so. My own aesthetic and body shape are so very far outside what is shown on the blog, or featured bloggers, or in other WIW's, that it seems really obvious to me. I am still fumbling with words to try to describe what I see; it's a lot of denim, usually cropped and not skinny, a lot of jackets, a lot of block heel booties, a lot of neutrals. It kind of blurs together for me. I know you can see the infinite variety within this, and I do appreciate and learning from the discussions; but I'm pretty far outside and it's mostly academic for me. So by and large I don't comment.</p> <p>In one of his essays, C. S. Lewis wrote that he did not review detective novels because he didn't like the genre. He would be the absolute worst person to review such a book, since he could not be fair-minded or even knowledgeable about it. I feel that way about quite a few WIW's and K/R discussions, if for "don't like" I substitute "don't understand."</p> <p>I do agree that Angie absolutely makes wide room for all aesthetics here, but she unavoidably has an affect on the forum. Which is completely natural! But most people feel some kind of pressure to conform. I did and do. YLF has been terrific in honing my thinking and encouraging me to try new things. By and large, those things aren't me, though I don't regret learning it. And I feel shy about posting WIW's because it's just another round of skirts and dresses. No one does my look, so who will benefit? Just my ego, because y'all really are kind and do comment?</p> <p>Yikes, I didn't mean for that to take a negative turn. Just sharing some thoughts. I particularly appreciate what&nbsp;<b>Gaylene</b> and <b>Brooklyn</b> have shared. If I have a strong thought about a k/r or a WIW that asks for feedback, I try to share it; but I also think twice or three times about it if it's even slightly critical. I do feel the group pressure a lot and it's hard for me to post a contrary opinion on fashion. Honestly, fashion really just does not matter in the long run, and K/R and WIW discussions do involve other people's feelings.<b></b> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970383 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 13:19:31 +0000 Anonymous 1970383@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Bijou</b> - such a well-articulate comment, thank you. &nbsp;And<b> Laura</b> - yes, I see two different trains-of-thought having emerged from this post. &nbsp;It's been really interesting to read - and thanks to you <b>ALL</b> for taking the time to read through add your own thoughts . &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970372 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 12:53:34 +0000 Bijou 1970372@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LisaP I for one really value your opinion. I do think you have a good eye for fashion and also consider you to be a person who is honest and kind, so any criticism is taken in that context, so please, keep commenting.&nbsp;</p> <p>I know my personal style is something that makes me happy and I don't expect everyone to "get it". For example, minimalists may think I am raving mad for putting a furry pom pom on my handbag. That is OK with me if they express that opinion, I don't take it personally, I mean it is a bit mad! To me it is a touch of whimsy that is just a bit of fun. In my job I often have to network at business forums and having a bag with a pom pom often gives someone an easy thing to comment on and have a laugh about, simply to break the ice.</p> <p>I don't take fashion seriously, I enjoy it as a place where I have a bit of artistic freedom to express myself and enjoy what designers have created. My friends and work colleagues know that this is what I am like, it is just one small piece of the picture.</p> <p>I love diversity and the wonderful different points of view that it offers. YLF exposes me to women around the world, many of whom are of a similar age to me, I value the intelligence and integrity of forum members. I also love to see people with great style who live lives that are attainable and relevant to me (who are not celebrities and are honest about how they truly look). </p> <p>Angie is so very generous with her time and wisdom, but I do think the forum is also a great source of help to those of us who feel challenged with where to take our style next. I see that we influence each other, but to me that is part of the charm of YLF - a sort of cross pollination of ideas.</p> <p><b>@Lyn67</b> - thank you so much for your candid feedback, it was incredibly useful and much appreciated. </p> <p>In relation to poison eyes, I am a bit scared about the potential resurgence of bike shorts as pants. Definitely a look that I will not be wearing no matter how amazing and fab it looks on other forum members!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970359 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 12:13:16 +0000 Elizabeth P 1970359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is/has been a fascinating thread, thanks Lisa and all who contributed to it.&nbsp; I'm afraid I don't have time or brain power at the moment to add much to it, so I won't.&nbsp; But anything I'd say has been said by others! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970288 Tue, 30 Oct 2018 03:16:30 +0000 Laura (rhubarbgirl) 1970288@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel like there are two different topics developing here: one is the issue of groupthink and disagreement on the forum, which does come up here every so often. The other is how each of us develop our own personal preferences and how they shift. I feel like YLF widens my horizons, but honestly my life is so boring right now that I'm not trying to be trendy; it's just not practical. I'm just trying to be vaguely current and buy high quality items that fit my needs and my budget. I suspect that a lot of commenters and lurkers are the same, and that's why YLF is still doing so well. There are other places to talk about Big-F Fashion, but there aren't that many to talk about wearable everywoman fashion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970228 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 23:02:06 +0000 Barbara Diane 1970228@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I will say if I prefer one option to another even if the consensus is otherwise. However, if everyone likes something that I don’t I usually don’t comment on it.</p> <p>I won’t post my most suburban housewife comfy clothing as I feel a bit bad/guilty/lazy/outside the YFL standards. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970096 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 14:38:18 +0000 lyn67 1970096@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>We've discussed some topics alike in the past, too-the&nbsp; theme is ressurfacing from time to time:-)-and I've always said, it all depends on the person. Not everybody is alike but I am a more of extroverted, (hopefully open minded, too:-)) &amp; positive one-so I will&nbsp; always say out loud&nbsp; if I like soemthing.&nbsp; <br />I was told am also&nbsp; a creative&nbsp; person,&nbsp; so probably&nbsp; can see&nbsp; and appreciate more beauty including the pinch of a little off something, but am not a pro- so how could I know all better? <b>Rach</b>y said it so well with the Universal Truth, above.</p> <p>When in doubt it's a bit harder, I agree- but even so-I've just given my very own and personal opinion on Bijou's high waisted white skirt and hope she will consider it in&nbsp; a positive way.&nbsp; I think we are all grown ups and free to decide by ourself at the very end as nobody knows better.</p> <p>Then,&nbsp; I also don't have the time to comment on all threads, so am likely to skip&nbsp; some anyway.</p> <p>And, I will aditionally double <b>Brooklyn</b>&nbsp;here: "I personally <b><i>really enjoy WIWs here</i></b> because, even if my style is different, I often get ideas about colour combinations or use of accessories etc. <b><i>It broadens my horizons</i></b>. &amp;&nbsp;<b><i>I post </i></b><i></i>to share my ideas (for what they are worth) and<i> <b>to reciprocate."</b></i>&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970095 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 14:35:01 +0000 Colette 1970095@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is very interesting.&nbsp;I sporadically comment because I still don’t understand the mechanics of dressing myself so I don’t always feel qualified to comment. I know if I like something or not but I don’t know if it’s 2018 or if pants are the right length, etc.</p> <p>I definitely benefit from everyone here even if my personal preferences are different. I actually really like the diversity of styles.&nbsp;I’m guilty of letting my fear keep me from posting but I really enjoy everyone’s WIW’s. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970042 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 11:47:13 +0000 Style Fan 1970042@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>There have been so many interesting ideas expressed on this post.&nbsp; I am not sure I can write something that will capture what I am thinking in response to all of this but I will try.<br />Lisap, I have always valued your feedback.&nbsp; It might be positive or negative.&nbsp; I actually don't like using those words because feedback is all useful to me.&nbsp; It is all positive.&nbsp; I take everyone's opinion in and think about it.&nbsp; Someone might "like something" or "not like something".&nbsp; It is all interesting and thought-provoking to me.<br />I do notice geography plays a big part in how fashion is executed.&nbsp; Did that make sense?&nbsp; No one, and I mean no one, would wear anything except skinny jeans where I live except me.&nbsp; They only sell skinny jeans here.&nbsp; In certain parts of Toronto high waisted cropped wide legged jeans are everywhere. &nbsp; My NYC step son informed me that they are everywhere in NYC. &nbsp;<br />I am heavily influenced by the 60s and 70s.&nbsp; Certain looks just grab me.&nbsp; Other looks don't work for me but I realize that they are working for someone else (skinny jeans for example).&nbsp; I am not going to wear a look if it doesn't reasonate for me.&nbsp; I have an open mind about fashion and realize that others may want to wear something.&nbsp;<br />I post WIWs for feedback but also because it is a way for others to get to know me and my style.&nbsp; WIWs are not an expectation at all.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970032 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 09:55:40 +0000 Kathie 1970032@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisa p, first, I’ll say that I truly hope that you don’t become “extremely careful in expressing my opinions going forward” because, on the rare occasions when I post a K/R, you often notice a detail that no one else saw or mentioned. I truly appreciate that.</p> <p>This has been a great thread- I resonate with much of what Brooklyn wrote, as well as all the comments about understanding someone else’s context, and commenting within that understanding. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970018 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 07:23:50 +0000 rachylou 1970018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Good stuff here, lisap. Ok. I have to tell y’all something: I go my own way - I’m aware of that, yes - because, um, Mumsey told me too.</p> <p>Lol. But actually, that’s true.</p> <p>Not to nerd out, but to nerd out... so we probably most of us operate unknowingly or forgettingly according to Ancient Greek principles: we seek Universal Truths and Truth is determined by Agreement. Even when we try to validate with scientific testing... eh, that always creeps back in (as in, ‘how many scientists agree?’). That system has a reason for being the way that it is, but it’s also prone to creating terrible mistakes.</p> <p>What I’m saying is, it’s always worth asking ‘does anyone else agree with me?’ and ‘does agreement actually mean something is true?’ One sort of has to walk that line, making steering adjustments for one’s own course.</p> <p>Like in my ‘burbs, Asians don’t dye their hair blond. Everyone agrees that it doesn’t look good because it’s not natural. In fact, all folks just ‘highlight.’ In town... everyone sits around with their green and blue and pink hair, pointing and laughing at all the ‘highlighted’ suburban peeps as freakishly unnatural and ‘so fake.’</p> <p>I say have strong opinions, but laugh at yourself, cuz you know... c’mon... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970012 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 06:23:48 +0000 Janet 1970012@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok, I’m jet lagged and may not make much sense right now, but decompressing after a long flight, so I’ll chime in. </p> <p>I am one who would really enjoy seeing more people post WIWs whose style is a bit outside of what is most popular in more typical mainstream YLF posts. Some of our more adventurous style sisters of the past seem to rarely — or no longer — post in the forum. That’s kind of a shame, but understandable. I respect that some people enjoy that kind of participation while others don’t. But I like the variety and am inspired by those who march to the beat of their own drummer, even if I don’t wish to emulate their style. </p> <p>I also like that this is a friendly, respectful place, and I think that most of the more critical remarks here have come from a place of genuinely wanting to be helpful. I don’t mind someone saying they’re not wild about something I post — I take in all feedback but ultimately, no one sways me in the end if I decide I love — or don’t love — something. Conversely, I am not bothered in the least if I offer an unpopular dissenting opinion and am roundly ignored. All of this in the end is highly personal and subjective. I’m pretty opinionated but I try to choose my criticisms carefully. I trust others here do the same. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1970011 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 05:59:11 +0000 Jessikams 1970011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All of this is really interesting. LisaP, in the original post you say you’re doubting your own eye/taste because you don’t like much of what you see in fashion these days. I’m having kinda the opposite problem— I feel so excited about current fashions—the colors! The wild plasticky finishes! The anything-goes! It makes me wonder if I’ve lost my discernment entirely.... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969989 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 04:18:25 +0000 Jaime 1969989@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is too much for me to absorb completely right now. I think there is great value in a critical comment (and in all my years here I have rarely seen one put in a non-constructive, tactful way). There are all sorts of psychological reasons that the crowd opinion tends to validate itself and why you don't always see dissent. Occasionally I have put a differing opinion and then seen lots of agreement follow. Occasionally I have refrained from expressing my opinion because the poster's aesthetic is very far from my own. Other times I stay away because I don't have a good feel for the person and am not sure they want my opinion. But this thread wants me to be more individual not less.<br />If we don't have aesthetic judgments, and our own sense of individual style we will end up in Brave New World. Tactful and civil disagreement needs to be encouraged. I will stop my rant there. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969971 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 02:36:26 +0000 Suz 1969971@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p><b>Jenn,</b> I'd agree -- but "like" and "like" come in different combinations. For instance -- our preferred colours and (many of) our preferred style modifiers, not to mention our personal colouring and overall appearance are vastly different. We also live in different climates. Yet I feel a very strong kinship to your organized emotional way of shopping and I can appreciate what works for you and in your closet and I <b>adore </b>seeing you in outfits that make you shine. As you said -- I take your comments on my posts very seriously. I know you "get" what I'm up to even if it is different than what you're up to. And that can matter even more than when someone whose style is identical comments!</p> <p>I could (and would!) say the same about <b>Diana, Sal, Brooklyn, Joy, LaPed, Smittie, the Cat, Greyscale, </b>and <b>many</b> other forum members. (If I don't mention you it's not because you are not one of those people. In fact, I am endlessly surprised by the points of identification.) There are different areas of overlap, of course.&nbsp;</p> <p>I even feel a kinship with some members who don't post WIWs -- e.g. <b>Gaylene</b> and <b>Gryffin</b> and <b>Eliza.</b>&nbsp;Their written comments are so astute and thoughtful that I feel as if I know them and can trust them and even at times advise them with some semblance of sense!&nbsp;</p> <p>So, for those who claim there is a preferred aesthetic on the forum, what <b>is</b> that aesthetic, would you say? Because I tend to disagree. I have seen <b>so many</b> preferences illustrated here. From sporty to punk to avant garde to modern classic to retro pin-up to traditional Indian. It is true, most WIW posters lately tend toward some version of modern classic. But that hasn't always been the case. And to the extent it is, it probably reflects the fact that most of us are middle aged and middle class, whatever country we come from.&nbsp;</p> <p><b>Angie </b>is a modern classic dresser who likes a hit of femininity, a touch of tomboy, a punch of punk and a bit of prep -- and her preferences will necessarily affect the overall aesthetic of the blog -- although even there, I'd argue that by featuring other fashion bloggers, she makes space for alternative options much more than most Insta posters or bloggers do. If people want to see a different aesthetic represented, they can post their WIWs. I guarantee the forum will open itself to learn from and appreciate their posts and their style. I've seen it happen again and again.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969959 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 01:32:36 +0000 Jenn 1969959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think a lot of it has to do with where we live, who surrounds us, and what we see on a daily basis. Sure, some people regularly buck their environmental norms, but most of us are at least influenced by them. That’s why I, for example, have zero problem wearing real western boots with anything and everything, but others struggle to add any “Wild West” without feeling like they’re wearing costumes. </p> <p>There are definitely forum members whose styles I have a hard time relating to. I usually skip those threads, or just look at the photos and move on. On the other hand, there are quite a few members whose styles I very much relate to, even if they’re quite a bit different from my own (case in point: for some reason, it seems like the aesthetic in Australia and New Zealand lines up pretty well with the western US, but we’re, of course, always off-season). </p> <p>I don’t always have time to comment on all those peoples’ threads, but I try to do so pretty often, and I take their comments more seriously on my own posts. </p> <p>Perhaps some of what you see in posts here is a certain tribalism, where like comments on like. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969957 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 01:26:16 +0000 Anonymous 1969957@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Brooklyn - it’s why I enjoy and do WIW’s too . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969950 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 01:10:18 +0000 Brooklyn 1969950@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gigi, what Lisa said about my comment is correct. I’ve also had experiences when I’ve said something negative and people who had already commented positively previously have come back a second time to reiterate their positive comments. I find that a little distressing.</p> <p>Gaylene, I think WIW posts are a different category. I don’t treat them as an opportunity to critique an outfit unless the poster actually specifically says something like: not sure about this, what do you think? I tend to only offer a critical comment if it is an outfit lab post or K/R or something of that nature. I personally really enjoy WIWs here because, even if my style is different, I often get ideas about colour combinations or use of accessories etc. It broadens my horizons. I post to share my ideas (for what they are worth) and to reciprocate. I do think it’s nice when people show appreciation for WIW posts because it takes some effort (and more than a little bravery) to post them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969945 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 00:15:12 +0000 Anonymous 1969945@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Gaylene, your thoughts count more than you know - with me, anyways. And I understand and agree with every single thought you've shared. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969943 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 00:08:01 +0000 Gaylene 1969943@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Actually, Suz, I was thinking of “poisoned eye” as another way of referring to MY value judgements. Brooklyn expressed my thoughts very well. </p> <p>As for your “square peg” comment, Lisap, you are not alone in that feeling. While it’s nice to think we welcome different opinions on the forum, the reality is it’s hard to express a divergent opinion, especially when our opinions are based on those value judgements we politely call our personal aesthetic. Retraining and adjusting my mind to correspond to the dominant aesthetic just seems like a calculated means of allowing me to “rethink” my value judgements so I can join the chorus. Unless I’m unhappy with the current state of my wardrobe, I can’t think of why I would go that route. </p> <p>I’ve never posted an WIW outfit because I honestly can’t figure out how I’d use the comments. I like what I like—and I very much doubt that a chorus of yes would make me wear something I wasn’t sure looked good on me. Same goes for suggestions—I had too many of those while teaching—and ignored them. </p> <p>I’m hesitating to post this because I don’t want to offend anyone, but I’m going on the assumption that the comments of one cranky old lady don’t count for much. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/how-are-our-opinions-and-poison-eyes-formed/page/2#post-1969942 Mon, 29 Oct 2018 00:05:00 +0000 Anonymous 1969942@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I took Brooklyn to mean that she feels somewhat under fire when making a negative comment....when everyone after you is vociferously positive, it can be unsettling. This happens me to a lot &nbsp;But I shouldn't be speaking for Brooklyn.... And yes, if I'm not the first spanner, it's definitely more encouraging.</p> <p>Lisa - you have a great eye, and have more exposure to retail at much higher levels, and always &nbsp;pick really interesting and fashion forward pieces, which are a breath of fresh air .</p>