https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 17 Apr 2026 13:36:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes/page/2#post-1408243 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 15:18:39 +0000 crutcher 1408243@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting post... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes/page/2#post-1408235 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 15:06:54 +0000 Anonymous 1408235@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Indeed an interesting thread - sorry for coming in so late! &nbsp;I am the odd duck I guess who find comments from complete strangers, and especially men, disconcerting. &nbsp;I don't understand why one woman would say "wow I love your shoes" to another they don't know. Unless I'm in a clothing store where it kind of gets a pass to talk about that sort of thing, I don't like strangers commenting on me like I'm some kind of animal in a zoo. &nbsp;I NEVER say anything to someone I don't know - because why would my opinion matter to a stranger? There is no context there. &nbsp;</p> <p>Sometimes I mutter to myself sarcastically " oh thank god, now I can sleep knowing you like my hair" &nbsp;etc after getting a comment in a grocery store. &nbsp;Man, why am I so cranky? &nbsp;</p> <p>I think it's a personal space issue with me, and my requirements are those of a typical introvert. &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes/page/2#post-1408202 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 14:35:33 +0000 Anonymous 1408202@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Great thread, Tania! In general, I'm dressing to highlight me, instead of my clothes. I'm going for a cohesive look. Sometimes statement items end up wearing me instead of the the other way around, or attracting more attention than I'm comfortable with. I want the kind of look that might not get noticed at first (or from across the street), but upon closer inspection, looks nice and well put together.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes/page/2#post-1408127 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 11:56:25 +0000 Tania 1408127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thanks for all the replies.</p> <p>Marley, I think it is a matter of confidence too.&nbsp; I'm exiting from a phase where my confidence has been shaken in different ways.&nbsp; </p> <p>However, it has been interesting for me to note the different types of compliments and how my presentation elicits different kinds.&nbsp; I'm still sorting a style direction and&nbsp;I've been wondering about the balance of conventional figure flattery and trends and the use of statement items and when I do/don't want to elicit attention.&nbsp; </p> <p>I mostly dress for myself and have been surprised when folks make comments.&nbsp; For example, I like red, but red seems to draw attention and, as an introvert, attention&nbsp;can be uncomfortable.&nbsp;&nbsp;If I am feeling particularly introverted, then I can set the red aside for the day :), but I also think it is a good exercise to push myself a little.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes/page/2#post-1407817 Tue, 09 Dec 2014 00:27:17 +0000 DonnaF 1407817@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This has really made me think about the things I say and what is said to me.&nbsp; Yesterday, I wore my silver clogs to church.&nbsp; I have worn them countless times, but mostly with my white jeans to give a longer leg line.&nbsp; This time, I wore them with (very) red jeans -- and got a lot of comments about the clogs, I guess because they showed up more.&nbsp; No one said a word about the loud jeans.&nbsp; I complimented the stranger in front of me on the color/fabric of her topper, saying that I thought it was the perfect choice to set off her reddish hair, esp. in the sunlight.&nbsp; But generally, it's footwear that I notice, admire, and comment on.&nbsp; I suppose, part of it is envy because I have such fussy feet and am so limited in what I can wear.</p> <p>I do have a pair of $23 bright blue faux suede booties that will get comments even if they are mostly covered by jeans.&nbsp; Comments from across the street.&nbsp; Comments even from men.&nbsp; I know now to expect for them to be noticed so I have to be in the mood not to blend in when I wear them. &nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1407795 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 23:44:42 +0000 Marley 1407795@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>To me a compliment is a compliment is a compliment . . .&nbsp;</p> <p>I must say that I like getting compliments from strangers - even men - it doesn't feel at all&nbsp;creepy to me or in the same category as catcalls!&nbsp;&nbsp;The other day I was at Home Depot standing in the plumbing row trying to find an attachment for our shower head and another guy was there and we joked about all the choices and how neither of us knew exactly what we were looking for. &nbsp;As he pushed his cart behind me to leave, he stopped and whispered softly to me "You are lovely." &nbsp;There was nothing sleazy about his comment - and, well,&nbsp;&nbsp;I felt like a million bucks.&nbsp;</p> <p>I think that the degree of confidence that you have in yourself and how you look&nbsp;can definitely determine whether or not a compliment feels good or not so good. &nbsp;I really cannot imagine someone telling me that they liked my boots/hair/jacket, etc. and me&nbsp;interpreting that as meaning that the item looks good, but I've kind of missed the mark because they are complimenting the item, rather than me!&nbsp; I'd rather just assume that I look good too! ;-)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1407760 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 22:37:23 +0000 rachylou 1407760@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Ok, definitely I don't want anyone looking my body over and telling me their thoughts about it. </p> <p>On the other side of things, I don't like that frisson of shock you get from people when your outfit is so killer that you're in femme fatale or diva territory. That kind of wattage is not useful to me, nor do I find it pleasant.</p> <p>What I like is a nice, mild "cute outfit" or "stylish outfit." A stronger, "you've got great style" is also appreciated. I like having original clothes that don't get in my way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1407080 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 20:54:16 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1407080@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is definitely an interesting thread! I agree with others show have said compliments of any kind are appreciated, but I do find certain ones more meaningful than others if they seem to "get" me or make me a factor in the compliment. One of the most memorable was when I passed a woman in the post office and she exclaimed something like "where in the world are you from?! You look wonderful!" as she waived her hand to encompass everything from my hair down to my shoes. I was sorely tempted to never take the outfit off. In hind sight I realize that on that particular day, something about the pattern/texture/accessory combination worked in a sort of magical way with my hair and coloring and also happend to be that woman's exact cup of tea. My other favorite compliment is from men on my hair when they say "I'm generally not a fan of short hair on women, but I REALLY like your hair!" That is the sort of compliment that makes me feel like a person has truly seen me. </p> <p>This makes me realize that I need to get a lot less lazy with my compliments. It is so much easier to say to a coworker "I love the color of that top" or "great boots!" than it is to let someone know when they look wonderful and that I see and appreciate their style. That being said, if I see a co-worker in a very unflattering outfit, I will often say "oh those shoes you are wearing are SO cute!" :-)</p> <p>ETA: But for something like your red boots - a statement piece - I would almost always compliment on its own merit becuase it is hard to see a really great item and not want to call it out in a good way. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406978 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 18:24:24 +0000 Anonymous 1406978@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I get compliments from strangers, mostly about my hair or jewelry. I do think most people refrain from saying anything too personal, as that would come across as too forward or creepy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406929 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 17:04:01 +0000 Diana 1406929@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Another thought: I get a fair number of compliments from complete strangers about my clothes and sometimes hair, which I appreciate. However, if a stranger was to compliment me on my appearance in general (e.g. "you look beautiful", I would fine it creepy. Possibly because such comments are usually delivered by skeezy guys and are basically catcalls. Yuck. Something like "I like your coat" is a lot more neutral and I can take it at face value. Of course the above does not refer to compliments by people I know (including ylfers!), only random strangers. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406924 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 17:00:16 +0000 Echo 1406924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it says more about the person giving the compliment than the person receiving it. I notice how people are put together, and there are some people whose style I appreciate. But it gets redundant and weird to say, "You look great!" or "You look really nice today" to people repeatedly. So I commonly only comment when there is an outstanding item I notice.&nbsp;</p> <p>For example, I wear a lot of black punctuated with one stand-out item. I think I look great in outfits like that, though I am aware that most people will only notice the highlighted item.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406920 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 16:45:14 +0000 Angie 1406920@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I echo what Gaylene, Shevia and Suz wrote.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406918 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 16:41:06 +0000 Jules 1406918@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think it's just much easier/less political to compliment individual items. Even a general 'you look really great lately/today' can be taken as an insinuation the person didn't look that great the way they dressed before/without makeup/etc. I've gotten some great general compliments that felt really genuine since changing my style, but they tend to come from people I don't see that often (like, several years have passed) and they were both about looking younger/not aging. I have most definitely aged (middle age pattern weight gain, fine lines galore), so I'm pretty sure it's my style they are reacting too, but I have to read between those lines, right? And I'm talking about 2-3 incidents over a couple of years - you don't get that kind of reaction every day when you are making gradual changes. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406906 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:58:41 +0000 Tania 1406906@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>All of the responses have been very interesting to me.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>I have found the more general "you look great" comments come when I dress with attention to figure flattery or more classic styling.&nbsp; Trench, riding boots, etc.&nbsp; </p> <p>I have found the more specific commentary as I've played with different, more stand-out pieces (either by design or color). </p> <p>While I was at the store the other day,&nbsp;a women from across the room gasped and then told me that my ring was gorgeous.&nbsp; It is my engagement/wedding band, designed by my husband.&nbsp; It is unique&nbsp;but it is unusual for folks to notice unless they are up close.&nbsp; I started to wonder if the other pieces of my outfit (in this case, maybe my&nbsp;red coat) make&nbsp;my overall presence&nbsp;more noticeable and then people&nbsp;start to notice the pieces that speak to them.&nbsp; </p> <p>I've spent several years fading into the background, so to speak, so I've found all this interesting.&nbsp; </p> <p></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406899 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:41:32 +0000 Elly 1406899@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I get the most compliments on my appearance from men around my father's age up into the elderly range. These are the general "your are such a beautiful lady" type things. Unless a man otherwise acts odd, I always smile and appreciate the compliment. We shouldn't live in a society where someone can't give you a genuine compliment without it having a secret dark inappropriate meaning. </p> <p>I get the most compliments on my clothes, hair, glasses, etc. by female family members, female co-workers, female friends, and female people I see often that I don't know well (the UPS lady, the dental hygienist). They see me often and tend to zero in on what is different and appreciate my style coming through in these choices rather than making a general compliment on how nice I look. I think partially this is the natural female tendency to attention to detail and the gatherer instincts, but I also think there is some kind of cultural norm where females don't compliment each other the way males compliment females -- i.e. I often tell acquaintances that they look very attractive/pretty today or compliment a specific body part of a female friend or family member and have had to learn not to do it because it doesn't get appreciated the same way. I don't want to be the creepy lady. </p> <p>When I do get "you look great today" from a female it is usually because I am especially dressed up and they are really commenting on my outfit, or it is followed by "that is such a great color". </p> <p>ETA-- Staysfit, I can relate to your daughter. I have very fine, silky textured hair and growing up and when I wore it long I constantly had people petting me. It made me uncomfortable and is part of the reason I no longer wear my hair long, and I'm generally not one who minds being touched, but strangers or people I barely knew touching my hair/head was weird. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406897 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:38:19 +0000 thimblelina 1406897@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Because I sub, I usually just get a generic compliment of 'Wow, you look so nice!' when I show up somewhere for the first time; I think that says more about what they're expecting or usually see in the way of dressing for sub work. I have to cop to giving and receiving specific shoe related compliments; I think 'shoe people' do a lot of that! Some of the nicest compliments I get come from my special ed kids in very unexpected ways. At the court appointed school where I subbed a group of girls came over at lunch &amp; asked me if I would take a permanent job there because they said 'You smile at us and say hi when you see us. And you dress nice like you're happy to be here.' Out of the mouths of babes, right? So I think when you get a compliment about what you're wearing it's a recognition that you put some thought into what you chose even if they just reference the garment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406885 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:21:09 +0000 Staysfit 1406885@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I will say something about the compliment from strangers. My DD has interesting gold colored hair that falls in cork screw curls. Her entire life strangers have come up to her and given her complements, and even reached out to touch her hair. She finds it very creepy when a stranger touches her or talks to her. She will be 21 soon, and this still happens. </p> <p>She did an art project once to count how many people touched her in one week. I don't recall the exact count but it was some number greater than 20. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406883 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:17:25 +0000 Suz 1406883@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting discussion. I think people tend to compliment statement <b>items </b>(vs. essential items) -- with boots, haircuts, jewellery, and the colour of a top, jacket, or coat&nbsp;being the prime examples. Along with patterned pants if a person knows you a bit better. They'll compliment the item in these cases, even if their overall feeling is, "Great style!!"&nbsp;</p> <p>The "you look great" comments tend to be about the whole ensemble and/ or a person's genuinely being rested, LOL! And they might be more common if you are not wearing an obvious statement item.&nbsp;</p> <p>Red boots are the kind of thing that some people just aren't brave enough to wear. (Don't ask me why; to me it would take no bravery to wear them; just a bit of panache!) But that means they'll always draw comments.&nbsp;</p> <p>As for me, I takes my compliments as I finds 'em, and feel happy with whatever I get! ;)</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406881 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 15:14:30 +0000 Staysfit 1406881@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This is such a timely question for me as I recently went through a major closet overhaul based on changing my colors from soft autumn to light summer. That is a very drastic change although both color groups are light, one is warm and the other is cool. What I have noticed is that people tell me I look younger, better but they can't figure out why. I am convinced color has something to do with it. I bet a statement item in a good color would garner even more complements along the same line. I am certain that people notice statement items more than basic items. </p> <p>I dress for myself, because it makes me happy. It's important to me that I present myself well professionally and personally. I am not doing it to get complements, but to feel good, and look good. If I get a complement for what I wear, that's a perk, so it was nice to hear a shift in what people were saying when my colors changed.</p> <p>Having said all of this, what people notice about me are my actions and my behavior, my professionalism and my attitude, etc. I get complements on these and on my reputation and integrity. I get complements for being a good parent. These complements mean more to me than any other. i hope you also have something like this in your life </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406876 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 14:44:19 +0000 Astrid 1406876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to confess I don't think about these nuances much and I don't think many other people do either. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406870 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 14:22:23 +0000 kkards 1406870@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>janet--not weird to give or receive complements to strangers.&nbsp;i guess i mean, that i would think it sort of awkward if a stranger said to me "wow, you look really pretty today", but i wouldn't think it strange for them to say "wow, i love that sweater". &nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406861 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 14:12:18 +0000 Janet 1406861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wait, why is it weird to compliment a stranger? I get plenty of compliments from strangers, and I give them too! And I will often compliment someone on a specific item they're wearing, even if it is something I wouldn't necessarily wear myself, because I see it suiting the person somehow. </p> <p>Honestly, I don't care whether someone compliments my general appearance or a bag I'm carrying or whatever. I've even had people I've known for less than 24 hours tell me a signature item I'm wearing is "so me." I am careful to dress not to blend in, but also not to overwhelm myself, so for me, it is about me AND the clothes, as they relate to me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406855 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:52:44 +0000 Sheila 1406855@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I often get&nbsp;compliments from random strangers on my hair. Never anything else- certainly not clothing. But probably at least once a week someone ( man or woman) will tell me that they love my hair. <br />My kids have witnessed this a number of times and at first were amused but now just accept it.<br />You are right though... family members might mention clothing or makeup. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406851 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:42:20 +0000 kkards 1406851@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>i also think it depends on who is giving the compliment --if its a close family member or friend, and all the comments are about what you are wearing that's one thing. if its from acquaintances or strangers, than i would feel funny &nbsp;if it was about me….after all, they don't know me, so it would be kind of strange for them to compliment me.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406835 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 13:10:32 +0000 Sheila 1406835@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If I get a compliment on a clothes item it immediately raises a red flag to me that the item is "too much" for me or that it "overpowers " me. <br />The lady with the "yellow jacket", "orange shirt" etc... that I am not being seen but my clothes are.<br />The opposite can also be true. I find some muted colors, no matter how expensive make me disappear. This is true for tweeds, heathered items etc...<br />I am at an age where I can appear invisible already and I don't want clothing that further accentuates this. <br />It is a happy medium for sure.<br />I am thrilled with " You look great". Any clothing comments puts that item into the back of the closet... most times indefinitely. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406768 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 05:12:52 +0000 Adelfa 1406768@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I rarely get "you look great" unless I'm wearing lime green. Then I get it a lot. So usually it's "I love your boots." Or "You've changed your blush!"&nbsp;Sometimes a more global "I love your style." I'd love to be told I look great, but I will totally take people liking my boots and my style! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406761 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 04:50:56 +0000 Dimity 1406761@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I wonder if it has something to do with your clothes reflecting your personality? Perhaps when people compliment your red boots, they're thinking somewhere that the boots 'fit' your personality and that you can pull the bold look off. Similar to what Gaylene and Diana said, really. If you didn't have the style to wear the look well, people wouldn't compliment. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406722 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 03:41:36 +0000 Sal 1406722@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think the two things people notice about "you" are a great hairstyle AND wearing the right colour. &nbsp;Wearing a great colour can hide tiredness and also give such a boost. &nbsp;A flattering or new hairstyle also highlights the face.</p> <p>I think I am a clear spring (but would not swear that, and don't totally abide by the colours) and find that wearing an emerald green or a coral or turquoise is a sure way to get compliments.&nbsp;</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406696 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 03:06:32 +0000 Jaime 1406696@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I pretty much&nbsp;agree with everything said above. Even fabulous boots won't look good on the wrong person wearing the wrong outfit, so ultimately the compliment is still about you. But of course you look great is nicer to hear than you have great boots :-)! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/highlight-you-or-the-clothes#post-1406694 Sun, 07 Dec 2014 03:04:19 +0000 Anonymous 1406694@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Does it matter? I get compliments on things I wear or on my hairstyle or whatever. In the end, people are noticing my choices, which is fine by me. I mean, I don't think most people say things like, "You look younger than usual today." </p>