https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 29 Apr 2026 20:59:40 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-925907 Mon, 06 May 2013 11:28:20 +0000 Mona 925907@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, I congratulate your son for enduring all the bullying and still being able to graduate from high school. This shows how strong he is and what wonderful parents he has been blessed with.&nbsp;<br />I wish him all the success and happiness in his future endeavors. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-925686 Sun, 05 May 2013 21:51:34 +0000 Transcona Shannon 925686@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sorry I'm so late getting back to this thread. You are an INCREDIBLE bunch of women - I hope you know that :)<br /><br />Anne - yes, I will always be grateful that our son came to us and asked for help. He thought it was a sign of weakness and I told him it was an act of courage.<br /><br />Kari - it is absolutely ok for you to say you are proud of him. I really REALLY appreciate that :)<br /><br />Manidipa - not doom-laden at all. Very realistic in fact. We have talked about that very issue - how our son needs to recognize if he starts to feel those "dark thoughts" again and to make sure he gets help quickly. There is no shame at all in needing help. We referred to it as "mental health maintenance".&nbsp;<br /><br />Jenanded - oh my word...I cannot imagine having to search for my son's body. Positively devastating. I hope your son and your family came through that difficult time. And yes...never take a single moment for granted.<br /><br />Thank you all so much for your beautiful and encouraging words. And I have shared this thread with my son so that he can know how proud I am and how amazing you all are https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-925444 Sun, 05 May 2013 13:27:24 +0000 jenanded 925444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, this is so sad but what a wonderful achievement for your boy! I am sure this will make him a stronger and more wonderful person as he travels through life...<br /><br />And extra hugs for you... I went through a time when once I had to give police permission to start searching for my son's body during a period of threatening self harm... it is gut wrenching but like other things, you somehow get through. They are such precious wonderful people our children and we can never take a single minute for granted... Great strength and wisdom to your family... https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-921924 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 21:12:31 +0000 Sarah A 921924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I have been to this thread several times thinking what I could possibly say, but really congratulations is it. I am so proud of him and what you have done to facilitate this success. You are one truly amazing lady!<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-920575 Mon, 29 Apr 2013 04:44:23 +0000 rae 920575@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hooray! I'm late to this, but I wanted to throw in my congrats to you and DS. It gets my back up that schools and even <i>police</i>&nbsp;fail to resolve physical assaults... verbal bullying is one thing, but come on. In our state, my friend spent a night in jail because her BF grabbed her during a fight and she hit him to break his hold... and yet somehow there is nothing anyone can do about physical assault on a child? Good grief.... Anyway, this is not about ranting... kudos for all your loving devotion that brought your son through a tough time. I am sure he is only starting to blossom. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919876 Sun, 28 Apr 2013 07:56:24 +0000 ManidipaM 919876@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My goodness I don't have words for how hearing about&nbsp;his experience makes me feel, but would you add my 'well done, young man!' to him? Having been through a year or so of depression and self-harming at about his age, I know just how dark that pit gets and how it seems to want to close in on you...&nbsp;<br /><br />For me, the trigger was also&nbsp;school problems, mostly with teachers, like Suz's daughter experienced---I wasn't the best fit for a traditional schoolroom and they didn't know what to make of me, and fear/uncertainty/insecurity pushes even adults into questionable behaviour. Given that,&nbsp;I can't imagine adding&nbsp;bullying, especially with physical assault, to the mix&nbsp;(though had a good slice of that in the first few years of school, alongside the targetting by assorted teachers, when six---what fun school was...not!).&nbsp;<br /><br />However, I'm for this very reason so, so glad for him that he's had great authority figures as well as good friends to count on through it. I didn't, not so much. Hence another couple of 'well done, you!'&nbsp;for you as the parents, Shannon, and his counsellor.&nbsp;<br /><br />One thing to note about coming out from such experiences: It <b>does</b> make you stronger, truly, to survive.&nbsp;Another point to remember: it leaves scars--and just as with surgical scars, they&nbsp;are <b>nothing</b> to be ashamed of; but they do bear watching all your life. I hope this doesn't sound too doom-laden---not my intention at all; but life has a way of throwing up triggers that try to repeat patterns... https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919508 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 18:33:58 +0000 Kari 919508@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, your son's tale is bringing tears to my eyes. &nbsp;High school can be SUCH a rough time anyway - I also suffered from terrible crippling depression (though I didn't realize that is what it actually was until my early twenties) and I can't imagine adding severe bullying into the mix. &nbsp;Thank goodness there were people around who could recognize and help mitigate the problem. &nbsp;Your son sounds like an amazingly strong man and I hope it's okay to say that reading his story makes me proud of him - and you - as well. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919472 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 17:00:48 +0000 Angie 919472@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Now I adore you EVEN more, Shannon.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /><br />Your son is as strong and wonderful as his role model Mama. xo https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919366 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 13:37:44 +0000 Ingunn 919366@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, I've had trouble getting online the past hours, so I din't see this until now. Your story brings tears to my eyes. I am both very sorry that your son had to go trough such terrible experiences, and very happy that he succeeded in leaving it behind. As a teacher, I've seen up close how bullying affects the victims, and I also know how difficult it is to help them.&nbsp;<br /><br />Your son was lucky to have parents that did what they could, and his counselor who obviously made a huge difference, too. His brave and faithful friend will surely never be forgotten either.&nbsp;I've come to know you as a very warm and caring person, and I'm sure your love for him has made all the difference in the world to him. I strongly believe that children with a strong fundament of love and care from their parents are much more likely to succeed in school and life, and they will overcome their troubles with fewer scars. You gave him support and unconditional love. One can't ask for more than that.&nbsp;<br /><br />Of course you are proud! I would be, too. He as accomplished this in spite of his traumatic experience - that says a lot about his strength and potential. Please accept my&nbsp;best wishes for him and his future. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919339 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 12:53:21 +0000 nancylee 919339@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Congratulations to you dear son, Shannon, and to you as well for supporting him through such difficult times. &nbsp;I wish for him a future of bright possibilities and much happiness. &nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919313 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 10:04:20 +0000 RoseandJoan 919313@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Congratulations to your son, what fortitude and strength of spirit he has shown and what a fantastic family to be part of. I am really touched by your life story and positive attitude Shannon. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919292 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 07:40:00 +0000 anne 919292@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, I have been away and am late to this thread, but was so touched by it. Big congratulations to Iain and to you and your DH! Like some other respondants, I had some seasons of bullying in my school life, which has always made me really sensitive to the topic, but nothing like the agony your son went through. I also happened to be reading Ben Elton's novel Post Mortem, yesterday, which has bullying as its theme, which was an amazing coincidence. Am glad to hear that your son confided in you (I didn't at the time) and that he had one amazing friend. Well done on graduating! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad/page/2#post-919179 Sat, 27 Apr 2013 02:20:42 +0000 Transcona Shannon 919179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you MaryK, Ceit, AJ, Deborah, Dianthus, Zap, Janet and Pil for your congratulations and best wishes for DS. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-918736 Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:09:49 +0000 pil 918736@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, your son must be an amazing young man to rebound from such an awful situation that was no fault of his own. He must have inherited your glass half full attitude in spite of his trials, emotional and physical. And that best friend, wow. Congratulations to him and you and Mr. TS. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-917340 Thu, 25 Apr 2013 12:43:06 +0000 Janet 917340@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I'm late to this but wanted to say congratulations to your son and you! I know from all we've been through with my youngest stepson how frightening it is when your child retreats and starts to spiral, whatever the reason may be. I am so glad your son is doing well now! Thankfully, my stepson is doing great too. </p> <p>High school can be awful even for popular kids, so it can be downright hell for someone who is somehow picked out to be a victim by those bully types. (I got bullied from grades 5-8 by a couple of girls who routinely threatened to beat me up -- a neighbor stepped in on one occasion, and a friend's older sister backed me up on another, and those seemed to put a stop to it.) Bullies generally don't fall far from their family tree, I agree. </p> <p>Best wishes to your son in his future plans! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915939 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 01:11:53 +0000 Anonymous 915939@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Shannon, I am so late on this but I just wanted to say that I think you are an amazing woman and mother. You have a million reasons to be proud of your son and his journey to overcome bullying. I was bullied too, pretty heavily, and I understand how real and painful it is. I am glad nowadays we have many more resources, to help kids deal with this very real issue. Time heals everything, one day this would be a faint memory.</p> <p>I am so glad the school offered the support needed, with this brilliant counselor. that is a big plus. and boy, I want to hug your son's friend. What a remarkable young man.</p> <p>P.S. I just read your middle comment, I literally want to throw up. I can only think these individuals must have some clear psychological issues. Wow, I am speechless. Who are these kid's parents? my gosh... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915917 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:55:09 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 915917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am truly saddened to know that children can learn such negative behaviour at such a young age and feel so much hate.&nbsp; I am also disappointed that the people whose role is to protect the innocent were unable to do so.<br /><br />I applaud you as a parent for working through such a difficult, challenging, and heart breaking situation and helping your child to survive, learn, and grow.&nbsp; <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915910 Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:49:47 +0000 Deborah 915910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, I crying tears of joy for you and your family.&nbsp; You and DH must be just so proud:)&nbsp; And I have no doubt that your young man is going to be very success and have quite inpact in whatever he decides to do in life.&nbsp; I cannot imagine the horror of the experience he had but to come through it with a wonderful friends and such a loving family is just wonderful. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915516 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 19:20:40 +0000 AJ 915516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh Shannon thank you for sharing this...I'm in tears.&nbsp; What an awful two years your son had to endure.&nbsp; So&nbsp;HAPPY to read that&nbsp;he was able to get through it all with the&nbsp;STELLAR support of&nbsp;his parents,&nbsp;counselor, and best friend.&nbsp;&nbsp;<br /><br />Kudos and hugs to everyone!&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915357 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 16:16:15 +0000 Anonymous 915357@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Oh I am so proud of your son for overcoming that! You must be ready to burst with pride. So nice to hear your boy has a true friend also.<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915317 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:40:59 +0000 MsMary 915317@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Wow.&nbsp; Thank goodness for one good friend!&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915179 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 13:35:25 +0000 Transcona Shannon 915179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Donna - my husband actually went to school with the alpha bulliers' father, who was also a bully in school. In fact, I won't tell you what my husband said about him as to not offend anyone.&nbsp;<br /><br />I found out after my son's bullying had ended that two of the boys who were in the bully group went along with everything because the alpha bully had actually threatened them - basically a "it's him or you" type of threat. In order to protect themselves, they went along with everything. I can't speak to other experience regarding the bully mentality, but I would imagine that more often than not, it's a case of kids going along with the behavior so they won't be the victim.&nbsp;<br /><br />One of the kids that was in the group actually apologized to my son after everything had ended and told him this was why he was involved. And although my son forgave him, he said there was no way they could ever be friends after all that had happened. But I admired the boy for at least apologizing.<br /><br />As for my son's best friend - that kid can do no wrong in my eyes. When we were at one of our darkest times and my son was meeting with the counsellor twice a day and was really struggling with not wanting to hurt himself, his friend actually came to me in the kitchen one evening while I was washing dishes (this is going to make me cry just remembering it...), put his arm around my shoulders and said "Don't worry Mrs D, I got his back. I'm not gonna let him do anything bad to himself. He's my best friend". He tried many times to stop things with the bullies but he wasn't always physically there at the time&nbsp;and when he was, he got targeted too. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-915011 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 04:16:29 +0000 deb 915011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Congratulations to your son! I am glad he has you as a mother and such a wonderful counselor to help him through his troubled time. Thank you for sharing your story. https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-914934 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 02:02:08 +0000 velvetychocolate 914934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Your post had me in tears - I am so impressed that your son managed to get through all of this awful-ness. Meanwhile, I'm in awe of his fantastic Mom, the excellent counselor at school and his friends, especially the one who stood by him through thick and thin.&nbsp; <br /><br />What a <i>great</i> kid you have - and yet at the same time, I'm so sorry to read that he had to put up with all of this. In the meantime though - he's done it!<br /><br />Congratulations to your son (and you too)!<br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-914917 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:38:38 +0000 DonnaF 914917@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon;<br /><br />You had me in tears.&nbsp; Kudos to your son for his success and making it through the unendurable.&nbsp; Sadly out here in California, schools/school districts have laid off most of the school counselors so there is something like one to every 500 or 600 students.&nbsp; In my city's district, they are kept in the district office and come out for counseling after a student has been shot or commits suicide or something like that.&nbsp; A bullied student would be given the option to transfer schools and then would fend for him/herself.<br /><br />You mentioned that the alpha bullier probably learned his behavior at home.&nbsp; What about the other kids who engaged in bullying?&nbsp; What I'm getting at is did all these kids miss the lesson on empathy, and what signs might we look for that would signal that our kid is a perp or one who has stood by in the face of such behavior?&nbsp; Or maybe some kids who are victims also turn around and become perpetrators themselves? &nbsp; <br /> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-914915 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 01:36:00 +0000 Sveta 914915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, I am really speechless - what and ordeal your son (and you) had to go through! I am so happy he was able to overcome that horror and is graduating this year - you have all rights in the world to be proud of him!<br />Congratulations to all of you! https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-914842 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:21:06 +0000 Suz 914842@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, it does not sound at all silly. This is the type of thing we have in mind, too, perhaps with a spa treatment for Laura thrown in -- she is similar and would prefer something the school can use, but honestly, she deserves a break and a bit of pampering with all she does for these kids!&nbsp;<br /><br />And yes, our daughter is in a different school -- I home schooled her for six months while we researched our options (not many -- but thankfully, one was just right). And this teacher has been a lifesaver for her.&nbsp;<br /><br />But high school is going to be a challenge, for sure. Your story about the FB attacks is going to make me doubly vigilant. Thank you for sharing this.&nbsp;<br /><br />I know your son must be an incredible kid with you for his mom. So glad he has been able to make good friends, too.&nbsp; https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-914824 Tue, 23 Apr 2013 00:05:48 +0000 Caro in Oz 914824@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, as a mother &amp; grandmother I find this distressing on so many levels.<br /><br />May I just say that you have handled this so well &amp; I am so happy that your son was able to get through this torture (because that is what it is).<br /><br />I hope you all enjoy the graduation:) https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-914816 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:59:26 +0000 Transcona Shannon 914816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Suz - how horrible for your daughter that not only could she not rely on her teacher to circumvent the teasing, but to even be part of the problem. I don't know what we would have done without the support and assistance of our son's school and in particular, his counsellor.&nbsp;<br /><br />You are an intelligent, caring and articulate woman who is aware of her child's environment. Honestly, the key for us was just staying on top of everything and communicate, communicate, communicate. Is your daughter in a different school now?<br /><br />Based on my son's experience, I have decided that Facebook is evil. The speed with which some horrible piece of gossip or some insidious idea can spread and take on a life of its own is positively frightening. Overnight, one person's sick little plan turns to complete gang mentality.<br /><br />As for thanking the counsellor, we're still trying to decide. He would not take anything personally like a gift but we've thought of donating to the school library fund in his name or seeing if there are some books or other tools he would like to use in his work that isn't funded by the school board. Does that sound silly? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/high-school-grad#post-914814 Mon, 22 Apr 2013 23:58:24 +0000 Kristin SF 914814@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Shannon, your story was so moving. Thank you for sharing it. I wish you and your family - esp your wonderful son - only happiness and success in this next chapter of his life. <br />