https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sat, 16 May 2026 07:52:05 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914333 Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:59:11 +0000 anne 1914333@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm not a huge fan of distressed jeans but another factor is that they are a HUGE percentage of what is out there. In 2016 I wanted to buy some white jeans and&nbsp; out of what were available in Kmart (so we aren't talking expensive here!), the distressed ones just happened to fit better, as far as I can recall.</p> <p>One advantage I have found since having them though, is that other stains etc kind of blend in and just look like distressing! Win!</p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914327 Mon, 30 Apr 2018 00:40:21 +0000 Gail 1914327@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have zero pairs of distressed jeans as they are simply not my cup of tea.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914213 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 20:27:10 +0000 Anonymous 1914213@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you so much for all the great input. I am always amazed at the heart and soul that you all put into responding to my posts.<br /> The only way it could be better is if we were all sitting around in the same room sharing thoughts, ideas and great advice.<br /> While I still like the idea of self distressing I love some of the styling ideas you provided....yay! And thanks </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914144 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 16:39:51 +0000 Style Fan 1914144@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>cindysmith, I totally get what you are saying.&nbsp; I sometimes feel like I am the only person who thinks the way I do.&nbsp; Fashion is the best expression of self for me.&nbsp; It is my art and creative outlet.&nbsp; Angie is the best therapist. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914127 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 16:00:57 +0000 Toban 1914127@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, that makes a lot of sense. I lean towards dressy shoes, which makes me comfortable wearing jeans (non-distressed) to work but if I wore casual footwear I wear dressier bottoms. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914124 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 15:54:19 +0000 Greyscale 1914124@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Janet, YES. I've been struggling with that recently. Compared to a few years ago when I only had nicely fitting skinnies, all my current jeans feel sloppy to me (holes or no) because of the looser fit or raw hem. I hardly ever wear my converse anymore, for instance, because I just feel too casual.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914052 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 13:03:44 +0000 Janet 1914052@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It occurs to me that ripped jeans don’t necessarily appeal to me because I like them in juxtaposition to dressier elements in an outfit — the dressy shoes and blouse look with ripped jeans — but I personally rely much more on casual footwear and tees, so ripped jeans end up making my outfits look *too* casual or sloppy. </p> <p>I realized this the other day when I knew I’d be on my feet all day so I wanted to wear my Superga sneakers — for what I had planned for the day, the combination of sneakers and faded distressed jeans was just too casual. I switched out those jeans for some in a more uniform medium wash with no distressing and the sneakers felt more fitting. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914046 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 12:51:54 +0000 krishnidoux 1914046@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So many eye-opening answers and a great read. Thank you for posting this question!<br />In my view, the tears act as embellishments. They also can create horizontal stripes which makes a jeans look visually less streamline (read wider), therefore more casual. Yet, on a very good fitting pair, you will still look slim enough (becaue of the cut) while also looking relaxed (because of the tear's visual distraction).&nbsp;<br />It's a quick way to look cool.<br />It sends the message that you are "in progress" with something. You are doing things, creating things, participating in things, etc. You are active rather than passive.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914031 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 12:22:46 +0000 cindysmith 1914031@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Angie is on to something. I like RATE to the point of "what garbage heap did you pull that out of, Cindy?!" I'm somewhat of a dystopian minimalist.</p> <p>A part of it is just because it works for my lifestyle. I have a job that shreds clothes, I do a lot of homesteading activities that shred &amp; stain clothes, and so on an so on...</p> <p>Back to what Angie said. I believe that I am drawn to ripped jeans and shredded sweaters and shotgun peppered garments because they reflect something inside of my psyche that struggles to find beauty and goodness in the world. For years (decades, actually), I just thought there was something wrong with me and that the alien mothership had abandoned me here where I don't belong or something. 12 step programs and antidepressants have helped me achieve a bit of... normalcy, I guess? Or at least stability in my moods. Instead of feeling like an abandoned alien that doesn't belong, now I realize that I'm just human and things like addiction, depression, and anxiety are just part of the human experience. </p> <p>I still like my RATE to the point of rags stuff, but now I tend to try and contrast it with some softer or more polished pieces. (Except when I'm involved in a part of my life that chews up clothes and spits them out and demands more clothing to chew up LOL; I'll go all-in for those activities.)</p> <p>So yeah, I'm going to continue to insist that Angie isn't a stylist, she's a therapist or psychologist. I guess therapy DOES have many faces XOXOXOXO </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914008 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 11:02:43 +0000 Style Fan 1914008@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like Angie's response.&nbsp; She is a great philosopher. &nbsp;</p> <p>Now I would not buy a T-shirt or sweater that was holey or distressed.&nbsp; I saw a few of those on my shopping trip on Thursday and Friday.&nbsp; But I do wear holey and distressed T-shirts and sweaters that have occurred naturally over time.&nbsp; Some things just don't make sense. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914006 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 10:51:11 +0000 Toban 1914006@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m so enjoying these responses. I do like the visual juxtaposition that distressed jeans bring to an outfit, plus the texture. My style is quite polished so distressing doesn’t quite fit, but these comments have me considering it (mild distressing) as a future option for my weekend wardrobe. At least more open to trying it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1914003 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 09:52:03 +0000 Kari 1914003@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>If you search “rough around the edges” or “RATE” in this group, you’ll probably find quite a few threads where folks find a bit of distressing or rawness or worn-in an appealing part of their signature style. It’s NOT usually something I look for-I like a bit more polish but not crispness-so I avoid distressing but admire it on others. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913924 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 00:35:45 +0000 Kate 1913924@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do like distressed jeans, and wear them, but only when they are distressed by me through wear and tear. I must be hard on jeans, because mine distress pretty easily, regardless of brand. Apparently, it's one of my wardrobe super powers. Because I certainly don't want all my jeans distressed, I will double up on a style I like, so I don't have to worry about the one pair getting all holey with the knees out. The other pair I'm more careful with, and refrain from doing impromptu heavy duty cleaning, gardening, or getting on the floor or ground to roll around with the cats. Since I can distress my own jeans almost without thinking, I've always been amused by commercially distressed jeans. I can do it better!! I should offer my services to the retail clothing industry. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913915 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 00:09:26 +0000 Jenni NZ 1913915@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That is 40 years ago! Ouch! I'm 57 now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913913 Sun, 29 Apr 2018 00:07:49 +0000 Jenni NZ 1913913@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I responded before I probably wasn't thinking enough about letting it happen naturally. But I think I only had a pair once ( in my teens) that got worn enough to develop a hole in the knee. Otherwise I've either become pregnant, in my 20s and 30s, or got fatter, in my 40s and 50s, such that I could no longer fit them long before they wore out. In my teens in the 70s I didn't like the hole and bought an apple patch appliqué which I sewed over the hole and remember fondly. I was 17. Must have preferred to be more polished than RATE even then </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913910 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 23:41:53 +0000 Anonymous 1913910@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>ANGIE- not only are you a great stylist but you are a darn good philosopher too.....duel career!??<br /> Everyone has just been so terrific at educating me. Thank you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913861 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 22:09:02 +0000 Angie 1913861@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The trend was adopted from street style. The idea is that highly distressed jeans look “cool, current, edgy, daring and hip”, like most fashion trends are supposed to emulate and communicate. </p> <p>Visually, the juxtaposition they can create when combined with dressy and pristine wardrobe items is interesting. </p> <p>Philosophically, one can ponder the reasons for wearing symbolic distressed jeans till the cows come home. We are flawed, there is beauty in imperfection, we are weathered by life, our path is not a perfectly pretty one, we are destined for dystopia, we come from humble beginings, we can weather a storm......you get the idea. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913811 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 20:20:51 +0000 Style Fan 1913811@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My jeans tear in the rear.&nbsp; Not the look I am going for!&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913800 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 19:47:21 +0000 kerlyn 1913800@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Isabel and Greyscale, &nbsp;I definitely prefer a subtle "sexy" vibe. &nbsp;No mini skirts or cleavage baring tops here. &nbsp;</p> <p>efbgen, As far as waiting for jeans to naturally distress, I just don't have the patience! &nbsp;Like I said I prefer just a little distressing, or I've done some myself on some jeans. &nbsp;My 13 year old daughter likes the look as well, so we picked up a pair of jeans on a clearance rack for just a few bucks, and I let her distress them (but just a little! &nbsp;No gaping holes!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913755 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 17:46:40 +0000 rachylou 1913755@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh, why buy instead of letting the look develop naturally... it occurs to me that it’s actually a rare Super Power to get one’s jeans to rip in a cool and flattering way. It would never happen that I could get the cool girl straight cut across the knee. What would be more likely is that I get the belt loops caught in something, so that I just have flappy belt loops... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913723 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 16:01:48 +0000 Bijou 1913723@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have a pair of faded denim jeans with rips and I love to wear them especially with pretty blouses and heels - my jeans and blouse are in finds. The jeans add a nice juxtaposition to the polished accompanying act. These jeans I only wear on weekends, never for work, so I associate them with having fun rather than being something that I could wear to work on casual Fridays in the office.</p> <p>I bought these jeans because they were the perfect light blue I was looking for and was in a brand and cut that had worked for me previously. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913673 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 11:48:38 +0000 Janet 1913673@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Yeah, I don't know about others, but even though I wear jeans nearly every day, I have multiple pairs and I rotate them, so it takes me YEARS for jeans to develop distressing on their own, barring incidents of trauma. If I wanted that look, I'd have to buy it made that way, or DIY which is harder and more time-intensive than it sounds. That said, I've only bought one pair of jeans with holes already built in (a few years ago), and I got my fix of them so they are now demoted to ranch wear. There are a couple of patches of distressing on these jeans that I just bought, but I had to try SO many pairs of jeans to find the fit I found in these, that I will gladly take a little distressing in them. It was enough of a challenge that I'm even considering keeping two pairs (in different lengths). When I find a jean fit that works for me, I frequently duplicate right off the bat, and that has served me well.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913666 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 11:20:42 +0000 Suzanimal 1913666@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love distressed jeans with certain looks. However, I only like distressing if it's on denim without spandex. I have a "friend" ;D who bought a pair of distressed jeans with spandex and when she washed them, the distressing (a hole) drew up and made the strings pop out like a poof.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913664 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 11:08:48 +0000 Anonymous 1913664@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I guess I assumed it is generational in part but I also have learned that sometimes generalizing is not a good idea and to validate which is why I decided to jump into the deep end and ask the question. <br />Interestingly enough, it seems that the responses have more to do with why people like/not like the look (which was not the initial question) rather than answering WHY they BUY them that way instead of letting them distress naturally.<br />So far "just because" , Grey's response of "some people don't want to wait"&nbsp; or those that mentioned they like "a specific look" seem to be the best answers to my question although the "generational thing" can be added IF you see it in terms of a money issue and not a "picking sides" or "judging" issue (if that makes sense).<br />I think the money issue is what I thought going into the question along with frustration in limited non- distressed choices. Why do they cost more (that response was very enlightening-thank you) and why spend money when it happens for free (time issue, because, specifics)and why are there so many distressed options (because people like and want them). OK<br />FYI- even though this post has gone a little tangent I am fine with it (education is a wonderful thing and is never lost on me) and I was really fine with all of it until................. <br />LIESBETH's answer- She just catapulted me back to the 60's when I was trying to explain to my crooner loving parents why I was listening to the Beatles-Oh those eye rolls when I told them "You just don't understand"-----L-how do I choose between a wisdom charm or a comedy charm...........LOL <br />Thank you again to all my YLF Friends for the great lessons provided on this thread.&nbsp; So much to good stuff to think about! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913643 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 08:31:59 +0000 Style Fan 1913643@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Liesbeth makes a good point.&nbsp; Fashion runs deep.&nbsp; It is more than the surface.&nbsp; I find the story behind the trend very interesting.</p> <p>Jeans are an integral part of many forum members style mine included.&nbsp; I love jeans.&nbsp; So does Angie.&nbsp; That might be why it is such a hot topic. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913638 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 07:22:09 +0000 Liesbeth 1913638@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>For some people the fact that you don’t understand will be exactly the reason :). Fashion is also a means of showing your allegiance to a group or subculture and rejecting another. At least that’s definitely how it began, nowadays I think for most it’s just an esthetic choice (but it’s not for me either!) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand/page/2#post-1913623 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 05:33:51 +0000 Jenni NZ 1913623@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this thread efbgen!<br /> Firstly, I did dislike such jeans enough that I put my dislike in my profile ( which I wrote in January 2017.) Some of my dislike is generational- I think you are only a few years older than me and there have been several forum comments over time where Fabbers say "my father" or "my grandmother" would never understand paying good money for something with holes in it. As my parents were older parents born 1920 and 1922 they lived through the Depression and WW2. They would totally not understand (both dead now) and I feel a bit the same as them. However I have changed my views on other things they would think more important, so it must also be my personal choice of preferring to look more polished rather than RATE.<br /> It can't be entirely generational as Lisap has liked and worn the trend ( and is only one year younger than me) and so has Style Fan who is only a little older.<br /> I have seen the occasional teenage girl who I thought looked amazing in such jeans and which prompted me to give her a compliment, but that is rare. One was a young Pacific Island woman whose skin contrasted beautifully with the ripped white boyfriend jeans. She was also very slim and at that moment my dislike for them temporarily disappeared! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand#post-1913606 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 03:54:48 +0000 rachylou 1913606@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>An interesting question. I’m decidedly RATE and dress for the street. I don’t want to be a target. I like an unfinished hem and love patches on jeans... but I avoid actual holes. I suppose my fear is that I’ll somehow make the holes worse and the clothes will fall apart, lol. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand#post-1913601 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 03:28:30 +0000 Anonymous 1913601@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you YLF Friends for educating me on this trend.</p> <p>Once again I think my question may have been misconstrued ( seems to be a pattern with me)- I have no problem with the distressed look- I love when I break in my jeans and they get a varied patina, yes on some jeans I have frayed hems and when they get rips I turn them into cutoffs- so it is not that I am against them- it is that I don't understand buying them ripped- mine get that way naturally over time..... no charge. <br />I agree with&nbsp; "to each their own"- which is why I said up front I was not judging just seeking understanding of why pay for what you get for free.</p> <p>Some of you mention "Edgy" and "Boho" which may explain a lot in my lack of understanding because I am an entrenched classic- I try and learn from YLF Friends everyday to get an understanding on other styles and purchases you make. "Just because " is a valid reason!</p> <p>I guess I am not surprised that some are either- not in, still in or no longer in - on this trend.&nbsp; I think that is common for all trends actually.</p> <p>I also had no idea jeans are such a hot topic although Lisa's jean post<br /> being up pretty high in responses should have been a tip off.</p> <p>Some of you mentioned that ANGIE spoke of rips in previous posts as<br /> being a form of embellishment- That makes sense. <br /> I realize that there<br /> are lots of times those of us who are newbies and came late to this<br /> party have missed a lot of ANGIE'S and other Friends' wisdom. Same way<br /> that I am amazed that some of you remember long past posts word for word enough to<br /> spot a troll- lol.</p> <p>Thanks again- you folks continue to amaze me with your wisdom, insight, ideas, thoughts, kindness and understanding. I continue to be a grateful student of you all.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-understand#post-1913596 Sat, 28 Apr 2018 03:05:49 +0000 Greyscale 1913596@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>BrieN, that's <b><i></i></b><i>hilarious</i><b><i></i></b>. Captures the whole issue, huh. </p>