YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Help me help my mom?

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Help me help my mom? https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Fri, 17 Apr 2026 02:46:37 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1407358 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 04:37:48 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1407358@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks so much, Dee! I will pass that along. We also live in (central) Florida. Dee on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1407351 Mon, 08 Dec 2014 04:27:04 +0000 Dee 1407351@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/  I bought my booties last year at Target so they were certainly not expensive ones.  Although the exact style is not available this year, I noted online that they seem to have updated the style for this  year.  They are the Mad Love Lenora Ankle Wedge booties.  Mine have straps and buckles while these seem like they may have some type of laces. Because I live in Florida, I spend much of the year wearing sandals and open toe shoes, but I have enjoyed these very much.  Even if these don't work for her, some others might work for her because it seems like this type of bootie is pretty prevalent right now.  SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1406147 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 05:30:16 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1406147@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Dee! Can you tell me a brand name and style (if you know it) for your wedges. Shoes are a real issue for her. She has some problems with her feet and went through a time when she only had about 2 pairs of special orthopedic shoes (that she hated). She has branched out a little, but still has to be very careful. Since yours are comfy, she may be able to try some like them. Thanks so much for commenting. I really appreciate it. Dee on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1406145 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 05:23:06 +0000 Dee 1406145@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am a few years younger than your mother, but from your description it sounds like we may have some similar body type issues in terms of dressing.  I wanted to mention that, in addition to flats, she may want to consider shoes that are wedges.  I am a short (about 5' tall) hourglass and I find that flats are not always the most flattering on me.  On the other hand, the booties that I often wear with my skinny jeans are wedges that are super comfortable even when I am doing a lot of walking. This might be a nice change for her when she goes out, even if she wears flats at home. SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1406126 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 04:53:59 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1406126@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Debbie, I certainly will! Debbie on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1406119 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 04:31:37 +0000 Debbie 1406119@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sarah you are a true blessing to your Mom. I hope that you keep us posted on her journey. SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1406050 Sat, 06 Dec 2014 00:53:28 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1406050@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you so much for all of the great information, Sheila! I will definitely pass along the sites to her on going grey. I know that she will appreciate it! I do think that her current bras are really good ones. Her main issue is that they aren't comfortable for around the the house, but going without isn't a good option either. And she is at home much more than she is ever out... Thanks again! Between everyone, I think that we have all of the bases covered! Sheila on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1405939 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 21:20:54 +0000 Sheila 1405939@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ On the silver hair transition there are many sites that have tips and ideas as well as hairstyles that your Mom can print thank about and look at. She is lucky to have hair that looks thick. These sites are VERY upbeat and thrilled about gray hair. It  Going with the skunk stripe is a rocky road that with her length will take about 3 years... even with the cut. It is a tough go. Tell her to join Cafe Gray, and on FB there are numerous, Going Gray, Looking Great , Gray and Proud, and Going Gray and Loving it. There are valuable resources for makeup tips, with a big focus on brows on the last one. There are several bloggers that are great as well. The trick is to stay away from anything that looks remotely like the Queen Mother or Queen E. herself. On the bra... I think her current bra looks fine. I wish I could look as good. You need to go to a bra shop that specializes in bras. They have other clients in her age group... and they should be able to find the right bra. The RIGHT bra can make a huge difference in how one looks in clothes and in how she feels. It is worth to spend the money on this I think. The makeup I am not that up to date on. I think others here have a much better idea of "natural" or "organic" makeup.  As far as non-frumpy... the gals here know best and those ideas from Inge are fantastic. Really great. SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1405824 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 16:15:49 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405824@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Dimity! That was such a great picture that you painted. The first woman is exactly the style trap my mom is wanting to avoid! Dimity on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1405713 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 08:54:01 +0000 Dimity 1405713@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The other day, I was sitting on the train heading into Sydney, Australia. In front of me was a woman, about 65-70, I think. She wore white sneakers, white socks, pale green polyester capris and a patterned polyester shirt. It was hot, so it would have felt like wearing a plastic bag. Her hair was short and permed, in a nondescript colour. Just outside the window was a woman about the same age striding along the platform. She wore smart (but comfortable looking) silver leather flats, white denim capris and a navy and white striped t-shirt. Her hair was short, but very modern looking and stylish. The two women were basically wearing a similar silhouette, but the difference between styling was astounding. Anyone from teens onward could wear the look on the walking woman. It was all in the fabrics, cut and attitude. Anyway, I hope you and your mum enjoy your time together and she finds what she's looking for. SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom/page/2#post-1405687 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 05:44:51 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405687@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you Jeanie! That is wonderful information to have. I appreciare it SO much!! Jeanie on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405684 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 05:29:54 +0000 Jeanie 1405684@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Your mom is beautiful!  Looks like you are getting some great suggestions.  I like Inge's jeggings and tunic suggestions.   I will just comment on the bra issue as I am very full busted.  There are some bras out now usually called comfort bras or sleep bras.  I copied some links below.  Every store seems to have some version of this type of bra.  I wear this type of bra to sleep in or lounge around the house because they are very comfy with just enough support.   <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.womanwithin.com/Product.aspx?PfId=183640&ProductTypeId=1&affiliate_id=049&affiliate_location_id=01&mr:device=c&mr:trackingCode=2DA29A90-6FC3-E011-87D9-001B21A69EB8&mr:referralID=NA&mr:device=c&mr:adType=pla&mr:ad=38081825982&mr:keyword=&mr:match=&mr:filter=79798040502#.VIFAHmTF9NE">http://www.womanwithin.com/Pro.....iate_locat</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/bali-comfort-revolution-lace-smart-size-wireless-bra-3484?ID=986907&CategoryID=225#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D60%26kws%3Dcomfort%20bra%26slotId%3D18">http://www1.macys.com/shop/pro.....84?ID=9869</a> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.womanwithin.com/Product.aspx?PfId=183640&ProductTypeId=1&affiliate_id=049&affiliate_location_id=01&mr:device=c&mr:trackingCode=2DA29A90-6FC3-E011-87D9-001B21A69EB8&mr:referralID=NA&mr:device=c&mr:adType=pla&mr:ad=38081825982&mr:keyword=&mr:match=&mr:filter=79798040502#.VIFAHmTF9NE">http://www.womanwithin.com/Pro.....iate_locat</a> SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405611 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 01:24:02 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405611@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Rachylou, I am in the US, but I do have a Whole Foods near my office. Thanks for the suggestion... and the sympathy. I'm sorry that you know the pain... rachylou on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405605 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 01:11:40 +0000 rachylou 1405605@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Are you in Canada? Do you have a Whole Foods grocery or Pharmaca pharmacy where you are? I know there are some in Canada, as well as the U.S. Both stores carry more organic make-up lines... and cleansers. I'm a complete endocrine mess, so I sympathize. SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405603 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 01:01:57 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405603@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thimblelina, thanks for the suggestion. What an inspiration your MIL is! :-) Caro, I love everything you said. Mom and I actually had a similar discussion about our hair and doing things for ourselves. I'm a very big believer in that, particularly since I have very short hair and a husband who loves long hair. I want so much for Mom to have what you all have - not only the ability to stay true to yourselves, but also the ability to evolve and stay modern all at the same time. I think that balance is sometimes difficult for her to find. Sometimes she swings a little too far towards pleasing her husband at the expense of her own sensibilities, and sometimes she clings too tightly to her own opinions without taking into account the modern styles. It's not really different from the ongoing battles we all have with ourselves, and overall she does look beautiful and stylish. I just see that the sense of harmony with herself can sometimes be off and she starts feeling self conscious. Thank you so much for your wisdom. What you describe is exactly what I want for her! thimblelina on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405599 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 00:30:04 +0000 thimblelina 1405599@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ My Piedmontese MIL (who is 90?!?! My husband is the baby of a large family...) wears a lot of Lucy clothing these days. She was never a track suit kind of person but she likes the polished, crisper ponte or stretch nylon pants and jackets she finds there and they are easy on/off, plus comfortable. She has some knee issues & a little sciatica. She dresses everyday in some kind of sporty lounge ensemble and cute trainers even if it is just to go for a walk to the corner market. Caro in Oz on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405587 Fri, 05 Dec 2014 00:12:18 +0000 Caro in Oz 1405587@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Seconding everything Inge & Gaylene have written. I'm your mother's age & feel more confident than ever about expressing my style. I think style & fashion become more important as we age - not for our husbands or our friends or our employers but for ourselves. YouTube has taken down the whole film of Fabulous Fashionistas, for copyright reasons, but these women are inspiring to me not just for their style/fashion but for their attitude to life. <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PgTI1cwpfk">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PgTI1cwpfk</a> SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405580 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 23:53:25 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405580@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks again, Gaylene! (And yes, I would love to be an honorary DIL! ) I defnitely hear you on the age thing, and I agree... my favorite women that I have identified with as wanting to look like as I age (not that long ago, that number was probably my now age of 42) are the ones who are still stylish and polished, and still somehow reflect what that age is... I will definitely do my best to encourage Mom to not adopt an I-give-up style. I think that I am sort of torn too though, because I do see that she has a very real physical need for comfort as well as the fact that my own home wear is ultra comfortable/stretchy/soft/loungeable. In fact, I just walked in the door, dumped my purse, and changed into stretch pants. I feel like I want to crawl out of my own skin if I have to wear things like jeans or bras or button down shirts in my own home (unless I have company). But thank you, I will definitely keep your words in the forefront of my mind as I talk and shop with Mom. She has always been very particular about her appearance - from the time I can remember, she would wear makeup even it was only immediate family around. So you are very right - she would not flourish if she took on a frumpy style! Thank you SO much for your wisdom! Gaylene on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405493 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 21:59:04 +0000 Gaylene 1405493@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Hey, I'd love a DIL like you, Sarah; since my boys are taken, maybe make that an honorary one? Anyway, I just wanted to chime back in to say that your mom looks appears to be a vibrant, lovely woman (just like her daughter, obviously!) who doesn't look like she is ready to slide down to senior-senior wear. Inge is right in emphasizing there are loads of options that can provide the necessary comfort without sacrificing your mom's sense of style. It bugs me when all women over 65 get lumped together because 65 is much too young to start wearing what would suit someone in her mid to late 80s. After all, no one would encourage a 20-something to suddenly start dressing like a woman in her forties just because of health issues. Health issues play enough havoc with one's self image--and wearing only lounge wear and slippers for days on end wouldn't do much to elevate my spirits or self esteem when I saw myself in the mirror. Support your mom by helping her keep her true self intact--the person she has always been and and wants to continue to be, tweaks and adjustments not withstanding. THAT would be a priceless gift from a daughter--much better than an elastic-waisted pair of pants. SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405458 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 20:48:19 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you, Peri, for that suggestion. I will look into those. I think she might like the straighter leg version. They sound fabulous. Inge, thanks so much for the WONDERFUL ideas. I am so grateful and overwhelmed for the many lovely options you gave. That helps more than I can tell you! Peri on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405448 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 20:18:05 +0000 Peri 1405448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ If she can do wide legs, I highly recommend these pants. I have nerve pain issues that flare up and subside and I count on these to get me through those days. They are soft and stretchy and don't press on anything, and yet they look polished enough for most occasions as far as I'm concerned. I wear them with sweaters such as Inge posted, and even though slimmer legs would probably look better, I think they look just fine! <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.jjill.com/jjillonline/product/itempage.aspx?BID=534779540&rPFID=1260&item=BZ038E&h=M&sk=N">http://www.jjill.com/jjillonli.....&sk=N</a> The same pants do come in slim leg and straight leg if she's prefer those...I haven't tried them but assume they would feel the same. SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405443 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 20:12:08 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405443@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I am LOVING these tips and ideas! You guys are so wonderful! Gaylene, you are my mom's (and my) kind of friend! Your day of papmering and beauty sounds like just the perfect plan!! I love all of your ideas. Can I be like you when I grow up? Gaylene on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405438 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 19:55:38 +0000 Gaylene 1405438@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'd second CC's and Angie's advice to treat your Mom to some pampering. As another 65 year-old woman, I'd like to think style updating is more or less the same for us as it is for any age. Our lifestyles and bodies are constantly changing and we all have to play catch up now and again. I know that my most recent update started with Angie's tried and true hair, skin care, eyewear, and foundation garments. Once those were sorted, I moved on to footwear and clothes, and, finally, to makeup. Really, the same as it is for any age, it's just that my priorities shifted a bit because of some age-related considerations. Not focusing solely on those age issues, though, made for a better all around outcome. If your Mom and I were doing this together, I'd start with an appointment with my stylist who understands that we older women detest "old lady" haircuts but, at the same time, need a super modern cut that works well with greying hair and thining locks. Keeping it easy and fuss free is also important. Then we'd go to my favorite spa for some updated advice on skin care and a mani/pedi for fun. Finally, I'd book an appointment with my fabulous fitter at my favorite bra boutique. Her bras aren't cheap, but she understands that comfort is as important as style for an older woman. My fitter works with woman of all ages and I trust her recommendations. Since your mom has her specs sorted, we could skip the trip to the eye doc. Note that all these people are really good at what they do, so it wouldn't be inexpensive, but, hey, I'd suggest that, since you are treating her, she ought to put her needs first on this occasion. After we got the basics in hand, then we'd work on comfortable footwear for her day-to-day needs. Slippers are fine, but slopping around in loungewear and slippers is not the way to feel good about yourself. There are loads of shoes that are comfortable, supportive, AND stylish. And the same goes for clothing. Eileen Fisher makes lovely, unrestricted clothing in natural fibers that drape well on an older body. That's the kind of clothing that builds your self-esteem. Finally, to polish everything off, we'd have fun playing around with makeup. We'd get a couple of young technicians to doll us up and give us tips and suggestions. We'd laugh at our reflections, and wash the stuff off, BUT we'd have learned a few new techniques and tried some new products. Armed with that information, we could figure out what worked best for us. Then I'd return your mom to you. She'd look great, but, more important, she'd feel good about herself and be better able to laugh and cope with some of the less fun parts of getting into her senior years. Maybe we could talk CC into joining us? And you could meet up with us for lunch and see how we older ladies rock when we get together? Suz on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405433 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 19:40:03 +0000 Suz 1405433@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Sarah, YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!  You have had some great links, suggestions, and advice here, so all I really can add is that your mama raised you really well.   :)  My mother is much older and facing different health issues but she also likes to wear loungewear a lot of the time. I have had some good luck getting her things from Land's End. She wears their knit pants and some tops from them as well as a few sweaters, and I even got her a pretty winter coat there this year.  KikiG on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405407 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 18:57:03 +0000 KikiG 1405407@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Soma is my go-to for at-home loungewear, but I agree that loungewear is found everywhere.  The tunics above are great, with a longer cardigan for cozy, and jeggings would be current, dressed looking, but as cosy as sweats or PJs.  I'm following this thread with interest for non-bra bras for my MIL to wear.   I have Orthaheel slippers for at home wear,  Sarah Catherine on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405400 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 18:42:22 +0000 Sarah Catherine 1405400@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I think it's wonderful that you want to help your mum feel more stylish and put-together as that will certainly boost her mood while she is going through this time of health questions and concerns.  Taking her to a salon for a little pampering and neutral hair style advice is certainly a good idea. A slightly shorter cut may help her thinner hair to look a bit fuller, I know it works wonders for my own mother's thin hair.  When it comes to makeup, if she is interested in a little "around the house" makeup, Clinique is a great place to start. They have fantastic products for a natural look and everything is dermatologist tested and allergy free. I used to work for them and can say that when it comes to skin care for those with sensitivities, they are top notch. I know that when I am around the house for the day, I still feel better with a tinted moisturizer, a little powder, and some mascara. It takes moments to put on but the effect is very fresh and it helps me feel productive.  For wardrobe, a nice ankle length tailored black pant might be just the thing. A few pairs in greys and black paired with colorful knit tops and flats would contribute to simple, classic looks that would be comfortable around the house but perfectly acceptable and attractive if she stepped out for a bit or if someone came over. It sounds like your mum prefers blacks and neutrals so if colorful pants or tops aren't her thing, try going for smaller pops of color with scarves, printed flats, or statement jewelry.  I hope it all goes well!    Adelfa on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405399 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 18:41:49 +0000 Adelfa 1405399@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I second Inge's point (as though she ever needs seconding) that an at-home capsule can be built using non-loungewear pieces. I recently purchased some softest-ever jeggings to wear at home with high-low tees and sweaters. I personally feel much more put together this way. I bought these because I've been recovering from a surgery and I wanted to feel comfortable but neat. This was the answer for me. Inge on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405382 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 18:04:18 +0000 Inge 1405382@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ This is so very sweet and thoughtful of you, Sarah. I've no doubt you and your Mum will have lots of fun working on this together. Excellent suggestions about make-up, hairstyle and specs from the other ladies. Clothing-wise: going the fun and fab loungewear route is certainly one option. There's so much great stuff out there right now.  How would your Mum feel about putting together an at-home, comfortable* wardrobe capsule consisting of a few different, easy to style silhouettes? * with the fluid fit and oversized trends it's easier than ever to find clothes that don't feel constrictive and allow for movement while going about our day. E.g. - Denim jeggings or leggings with a fluid fit sweater that covers the bottom (high-low hemline, asymmetrical style, patterned, colour-block, fun colour... to keep things interesting and current). If your Mum runs warm, or when it is warmer she could swap them for tunic blouses or shirts, or lightweight longer tops. - Soft fabric jeans or trousers (e.g. ponte knit) with a stretchy waistband (skinnies, straight leg, bootcut, flare..) paired with faux-wrap, drape front or surplice tops (forgiving on the tummy and waist, roomy and comfy), and some sort of knit jacket (sweater jacket, knit blazer, knit moto jacket, knit bomber) as a third layer. Of course, the tops can be worn alone too. > Or switch out the top for a sassy sweatshirt. - Jeggings or soft jeans or trousers with a fun top or shirt and a long or maxi cardigan (or a long vest). Maybe a cute pair of slipper booties or house shoes to go with everything.  A great scarf to add extra spunk if your Mum likes wearing scarves inside. A signature pair of earrings, watch or other jewellery to add some extra polish? I've added some examples below. Do keep us posted on your Mum's style journey? SarahTheWhite on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405380 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 17:59:43 +0000 SarahTheWhite 1405380@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You all are so sweet! I really appreciate the support and suggestions - they are equally wonderful! Thanks for the water info, Textile! I think that they may have some kind of whole house filtration, possibly reverse osmosis, but I don't know about detergents. I will let her know all that you said! abc on "Help me help my mom?" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-help-my-mom#post-1405359 Thu, 04 Dec 2014 17:27:14 +0000 abc 1405359@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't really have anything more to add that the others haven't suggested, but I wanted to say that I see a lot of care and trust in the relationship between you and your mom.  It is really sweet to see people caring for each other this way.  And for your mom to be open-minded enough to ask for help and be willing to take suggestions speaks a lot to her character, which I am sure you inherited!!  Hugs to both of you.  You'll get it sorted out and both of you will feel so great.