https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 28 Apr 2026 20:56:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-349319 Fri, 13 May 2011 19:59:01 +0000 Irene 349319@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I once saw a video on youtube where a 6-year old girl was talking about body image and body issues (of course someone told her to say that but anyways). I can't find the video now, but it doesn't matter, because I remember the main sentences:</p> <p>In the whole history of the world, there will NEVER be another you because YOU are UNIQUE. So, why do you want to be like someone else? Beauty is not how skinny you can be.</p> <p>Now, I know this is easier said than done, and sometimes I just don't buy it and feel like crap. But if you pay attention to it, you'll see she's actually right about the whole thing. I mean, as long as you are healthy and all, who cares what size you are or whether you can do high heels? I can't do them either while most of my friends can. I sympathize with you because last year I spent a whole course feeling horrible because I was away from home and one of my closest friends there happened to look like a model: literally. To top it off, she was -or seemed to be- smarter than me, funnier than me, friendlier than me... or that's how I felt anyways. I see now that I was kind of wrong and the worst part is that it ruined nine months of my life and no one is to blame but me.</p> <p>PS: I also have this feeling every night I go out clubbing because I don't have clubbing clothing -I almost never go clubbing so why bother? Although I think I'll end up buying something just to avoid the stress before nights out- and always feel underdressed compared to my friends. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-349285 Fri, 13 May 2011 19:06:42 +0000 Lynne 349285@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisalou, I am so glad you started this thread. Not only because you are gorgeous and needed to be reminded of it, but because of all the wisdom here that we ALL need to be reminded of. Yay for Angie and this community of fabulous women! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348750 Fri, 13 May 2011 01:09:01 +0000 Aziraphale 348750@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have nothing to add to the many excellent comments here except that I have plenty of oafy days myself, and I'm 5'1", small-boned and size 2-4. I think we all do! I guess it's all about state of mind, and not about how we actually appear to others. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348745 Fri, 13 May 2011 01:00:11 +0000 MNsara 348745@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lisalou - listen to them because they are all spot on! You *are* adorable (I also had to go back and check your WIW and you're correct to want to work on your internals now! </p> <p>Stick around and we'll help with that too :-)</p> <p>P.S. I'm starting to imagine what industry you work in. . . hmm. . . It's definitely NOT education. . . </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348741 Fri, 13 May 2011 00:52:06 +0000 Lisalou 348741@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>YLF friends, thank you from the bottom of my heart! The support and wisdom you ladies have to give is just...awesome (as in, I'm in awe). I think I have a little *internal* work to do re: comparing myself to others, as opposed to just getting the "right" clothes! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348726 Fri, 13 May 2011 00:26:52 +0000 MsMary 348726@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>OMG, I have so been where you are!! I don't have any magic advice for you, but I will tell you that I went back and looked at your WIW, and you are SO ADORABLE I can't even stand it!! Srsly. For reals!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348669 Thu, 12 May 2011 23:31:37 +0000 cheryle (Dianthus) 348669@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>You need a new mirror my dear. I went back and found your wiw thread and you are adorable and cute. You can pretend to be a wallflower or you can stand out in a sea of the sameness and be unique and beautiful. It is all about how you see it.</p> <p>Adorable!! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348654 Thu, 12 May 2011 23:01:37 +0000 Beth 348654@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Listen to Angie (and everybody else)! We all have oaf-y days, but just because we feel that way doesn't mean we look that way. And the way to dissatisfaction is constant comparison with others, KWIM?</p> <p>And if all of those lovely girls are using chemicals to straighten their hair, then maybe it's because they feel oaf-y with their natural hair. Ask me how I know:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348651 Thu, 12 May 2011 22:56:25 +0000 afterism 348651@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think Sharon has a point on the industry uniform.</p> <p>I liken it to being at an event where every other person is wearing black and you're there in your red dress.</p> <p>You are bound to stand out and I know it's not always easy being the odd one out, but that doesn't make it a bad thing. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348628 Thu, 12 May 2011 22:09:21 +0000 Sharon 348628@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wonderful post, Angie.</p> <p>It sounds like there is a fairly uniform "look" amongst your co-workers, and you may be feeling uncomfortable because you're not wearing the uniform. The great thing is that that gives you the freedom to define your look in a whole new way! Individuality and creativity are so much more that just fitting into a particular dress size.</p> <p>I would love to see a WIW from you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348620 Thu, 12 May 2011 21:38:52 +0000 Aida 348620@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>/cheering to what Angie said!</p> <p>Lisalou your WIW post shows that you are certainly not an oaf, my goodness! Besides what's been said and as opposed to worrying that you can't/don't want to wear some of the things your coworkers do (which is perfectly fine), how about working on striving for grace and elegance (not to say that you're not either of these things hehe)? A good dose of confidence paired with grace and elegance can go a looooong way regardless of age!</p> <p>In regards to hair, I once saw several photos of a gal that stuck with me: she would dress wonderfully polished, but always left her hair a bit wild and make-up natural. It exudes an amazing coolness and is something I personally strive for in my own outfits. Besides, if you're not naturally on Team Polish, it's kind of delicious to be comfortable in a slightly unpolished look around people who are fussing with their polished bits </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348505 Thu, 12 May 2011 17:39:32 +0000 Isis 348505@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wow, LOVE what Angie said!</p> <p>And, interestingly, Sal @ already pretty has a great presentation today on this very topic:<br /> <a href="http://www.alreadypretty.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.alreadypretty.com</a> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348444 Thu, 12 May 2011 16:04:42 +0000 Angie 348444@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Listen to me: </p> <p>Style is NOT a dress size. </p> <p>Style is NOT one way of dressing</p> <p>Style is democratic and an individualistic form of creative self expression. </p> <p>Style begins and ends with a strong sense of self. </p> <p>Do not compare yourself to other people. Who is to say that those other lovely ladies were more stylish than you? And FWIW, I don't do spindly heels either - we can look fab in other ways. And remember that I bat for Team Flats! :). I also have size 12/14 clients who I consider to have a higher style quotient than some of my size 2/4 clients. </p> <p>You have homework! Put on an outfit you feel fabulous in and post it on the forum asap.</p> <p>(Chuckling @ Kelly), </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348428 Thu, 12 May 2011 15:39:26 +0000 kellygirl 348428@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Aunty, I see nothing oaf-like about you. You have an adorable figure and looked pretty darn fab in your skinnies and belt. Try not to be so hard on yourself. For me, I try not to compare myself to others--in real life or here on the forum. It's taken me 40 plus years to get here but I just try and work with what I have. Many a time have I felt like a Clydesdale in a stable full of race horses--but Clydesdales have their place too. Probably not the best illustration but I'm working on coffee fumes. In fact, I need me another cup! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348417 Thu, 12 May 2011 15:25:34 +0000 Aunty 348417@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Lisalou!!<br /> I have just checked out your first WIW, and let me tell you right now there is nothing oafy about you. You are a beautiful women in your own right with your own look and style.<br /> Lol Now turn it around. I am 52 years old, 5ft 5 with dark hair. Does that mean in a room full of 6 ft teenage blondes I should crawl into a corner???<br /> You are gorgeous xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/help-me-ditch-that-oaf-y-feeling#post-348411 Thu, 12 May 2011 15:15:42 +0000 Lisalou 348411@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I work in an industry where most of us are women, and most of us are teeny-slim, have perfectly straight hair (largely chemical), and wear towering teetering heels. We also have to go to a lot of breakfasts and luncheons.</p> <p>I had a breakfast this morning and I just felt like a complete oaf. Everyone was wearing their amazing heels and tiny cute dresses, and even in my pretty wrap dress, I felt oaf-y. We got to pick out a piece of clothing as a gift and had to write down our size...according to the samples there, I was a 14. Everyone else was, like, a 4. And I just can't do the spindly heels, at least not to events where I walk from the subway--just can't walk in those things.</p> <p>How do you avoid feeling like a big oaf when surrounded by people who seem like they have it together more than you?! (I guess this is more of a pity party!) </p>