YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Hair as a (non)accessory

YouLookFab Forum » Topic: Hair as a (non)accessory https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Mon, 20 Apr 2026 21:55:36 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 <![CDATA[Search]]> q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php Bee on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory/page/2#post-2103534 Tue, 03 Mar 2020 15:14:19 +0000 Bee 2103534@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ You all are incredible. Thank you to everyone who responded with their experiences and tips. I'm still taking it all in, but this is like therapy, and I really feel encouraged to experiment a little and change things up. I've got such great feedback about my hair in my WIW post too, and I'm growing to the idea that I can make a curly haircut part of my signature style. I feel like I've been living in my own head for too long. Sharing that here and seeing how other people see me has really boosted my confidence and courage to try new things.  I have scheduled a haircut for next week and decided to let my stylist take the wheel. A lot of you have suggested experimenting with a new cut. I feel like I've been stuck too long in trying to hold on to the old aesthetic, and I think a fresh perspective will do me good. If I don't like it, then I'll know exactly what doesn't work for me for next time, but I can still move closer to figuring out what does. If I don't try, then I'll for sure never know! I'll make sure to post before and after. :)  Anonymous on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory/page/2#post-2103336 Mon, 02 Mar 2020 11:01:10 +0000 Anonymous 2103336@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bee, have you ever looked at the blog called Hair Romance? <a href="https://www.hairromance.com/" rel="nofollow">https://www.hairromance.com/</a> This lady does all sorts of braids and updos with her curly hair, and talks about styling products, etc. Lots of good inspiration there! I don't really factor my hair into what I wear, but it's not statementy either- just brown, mid length, and a little wavy. I do use a flat iron or hot brush just to make it look a bit more intentional (read Not flip up at the bottom). It used to be much longer which suited me much better, but I have very hard water, so it won't grow nicely anymore. Staysfit on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory/page/2#post-2103334 Mon, 02 Mar 2020 10:27:25 +0000 Staysfit 2103334@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bee, I have very thick, frizzy, wavy and curly hair.  It falls into more than lions mane territory when it’s long.  It takes hours to dry.  When I was a kid my mom couldn’t drag a comb or brush through it. She had no clue what to do, she has pin straight, thin hair.  In middle school I wore it in French braids, or pulled back.  I had swim practice twice a day and it was always wet.  I did the expedient thing and cut it into a pixie.  I kept it short for decades.  I am growing it out now, and it is silvery grey, so I agree with April.  I get tons of complements on my style and my longer hair.   Also, I have 6-7 different glasses frames that I wear, rotating them with my outfit and the length of my hair makes no difference.  It’s about the shape and proportion of my face.  There are some excellent examples of style icons with long grey hair, none quite as curly or thick as mine, but they are still examples.....Linda Write, Linda Rodin, Sarah Harris.  Look at Pinterest!  You will see tons of models with thick curly hair salt and pepper hair.   When I want my hair to look sleek, I pull it back.  When I don’t, I keep it down.  Also, the hair products they have now are amazing!  My hair hardly frizzes,  If you are doing the curly girl method and getting frizzy hair, I would consider switching your routine.  I use a modified curly girl method....I love Ouidad Advanced Climate Control Heat &Humidity Gel, Extra Hold.  I also use their Featherlight styling cream.  Conditioners are interesting.  I alternate between Joico K-Pak and Emollience Pre Treatment with Cupuacu Butter and Castor Oil.  My hair seems to do best with some protein.  The one other thing I do is to use Pronexa once a week.  My hair is soft, curly, wavy, thick and shiny but controlled not frizzy. My hair is cut in some layers which are long but it helps control its thickness which works well in warm weather when you don’t want all the extra insulation! I could blow my hair dry, and use a flat iron, but it never stays straight and IMO looks best when left on its own.  It never looks the same way twice.  I accepted that years ago.  :-) April on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory/page/2#post-2103299 Mon, 02 Mar 2020 01:00:51 +0000 April 2103299@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bee, I have written many times on this forum over the years about the ways in which I think curly hair (which I have) changes things.  To me, t's harder to look chic in eyeglasses with curls than with sleek hair; it's harder to look chic with gray or salt-and-pepper hair when it's curly; it's harder to look chic in humid weather if you have curly hair, etc.  Now, there are forum members who absolutely show me that these ideas are nonsense by looking fabulous in curly hair and glasses, curly hair that's gray, and so on.   So for that reason if no other, you're in a good place and welcome back! Carla on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory/page/2#post-2103289 Sun, 01 Mar 2020 23:48:16 +0000 Carla 2103289@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The only time my hair is straightened, is if I’ve had a cut and it is cold outside (maybe 4 times a year?). I find straight hair accentuates the vertical lines/wrinkles around my nose and mouth (marionette’s lines). #1 blow dried and flat ironed #2 air dried with a little curl product smittie on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory/page/2#post-2103184 Sun, 01 Mar 2020 15:18:12 +0000 smittie 2103184@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I had curly-ish hair but it was not nice, like yours. Mine was coarse and curly. I guess I spent about 1.5 years with having it in its natural state. People said it looked good, but I never truly thought it did. I am not somebody who needs smooth hair, but the combo of coarseness and curliness made it look like I just didn’t care. So I’ve gone back to straightening it. It’s funny: the first thing people said when i went back to work with straight hair was that I looked younger! (Looking younger is not something I desire, by the way.) So anyway, YES, having curly hair changed what I wore. I started wearing looser styles, more “rough” styles like ripped jeans. I had more natural fabrics like linen and crunchy cotton (that looked a little rumpled on purpose). I think the looser style with my looser hair was a good look actually. But after that year and a half, I wanted a change, so switched back to straight hair. I feel prettier with straight hair, and I think it just adds a bit of polish. I don’t have polish in other areas (I don’t wear much makeup and really don’t like lipstick, and I also don’t do my nails) so it’s nice to have polished hair. I feel better with a bit of polish. I’ve noticed this about my personality. So I have added a bit more polish to my clothing as well: no more knitwear that will pill! No more wrinkles in my clothing (I wear more synthetics). More figure flattery! For me, I’m not sure hair is about self acceptance since it’s so easy to change. Learning to age gracefully is more more of a real self-acceptance challenge. notsaf on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2103181 Sun, 01 Mar 2020 14:44:03 +0000 notsaf 2103181@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've really enjoyed reading this post. I'm also naturally curly/wavy and am gradually transitioning to not dying or straightening my hair. I love keeping my hair down or half down (it's often tied back in a half pony with a small barrette) and am currently most interested in hair health, moisture, and shine, no matter the texture. But I love the trend for puffy curly hair and curly bangs, which I seem to reflect that do-your-own-thing spirit. You hair reminds me a bit of this woman's, which I like a lot: <a rel="nofollow" href="https://www.manrepeller.com/2016/12/curly-hair-care.html">https://www.manrepeller.com/20.....-care.html</a> Bijou on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2103179 Sun, 01 Mar 2020 14:33:36 +0000 Bijou 2103179@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Bee I have wavy hair. It can be hard to style so often I end up using my straightening irons after blow drying it, just to get some definition in my curls and get rid of the frizz factor. For years I straightened it - but it was a losing battle to keep it straight. At first I felt weird with my waves, it took about 6 months to get used to not having straight hair. Now I am so used to it being curled or wavy that I get shocked to see photos of myself with my hair long and straight. I like to keep my hair at a length where I can tie it up - so on bad hair days or when exercising, that is always an option. Zaeobi on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2103133 Sun, 01 Mar 2020 04:46:24 +0000 Zaeobi 2103133@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm also learning to love my natural hair after decades of wishing I had pin straight locks! Mine is a little unruly in that it's wavy but also curly, especially when it gets longer (I had mine cut to just under the ears before but now that it's grown out to below the shoulders, I have ringlets at the ends but waves above). I'm maybe the opposite to you in that I feel my looks are more balanced when I have one oversized & one slimmer element in the SAME outfit. I've found that having certain silhouettes with certain hairstyles helps a little bit. For example, I like pleated maxi skirts like the one you wore above, but I only wear them as part of my work capsule with my hair up (I'm not sure if yours would be long enough but I put my hair up on top of my head, instead of at the back, because I don't like it when it looks too flat). Similarly, I wear my slimmer skirts at the weekend, when my hair is looser (either in a low ponytail or totally out - occasionally low plaits if I feel like it). All this to say that there's no one 'right' way to rock curly hair. Sometimes I want it to make a statement, so I pair it with equally bold earrings (tiny studs just get lost in my mane, lol). I also had a fringe recently put in (like curtain bangs) & that makes a big difference in being able to keep the romantic volume to my looks even when my hair is up or plaited. But if you like your hair to look sleek, you should embrace that - it's still possible to do that with curls (see below)! I did find that the outfits I wore automatically looked more chic when my hair was shorter, without me having to try as hard with accessories or scarves etc. But I'd also look into the type of short cut that you get, if I were you. It sounds like you prefer a sleeker look, so could going shorter with a more rounded look achieve that more readily than a longer & more triangular shape? It's ultimately up to you of course, but one thing I hadn't considered much (when my hair was longer) was that not all short curly cuts are created equally. A curly hair specialist is a godsend for haircuts that look better natural than straightened (I wait until I'm back in the UK to see mine - I don't know if your area has similar ones?) Good luck! Sal on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2100018 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 19:22:11 +0000 Sal 2100018@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I can relate to this and your feelings. I like your attitude - and I always wanted dark curls! I know when my hair is short or long, blonder or darker - I do feel different clothing suits me. Especially necklines! The beauty with longer hair is the ability to tie it it up when that suits you. Liesbeth on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099981 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 16:39:40 +0000 Liesbeth 2099981@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I'm very much like Irina and agree that wearing lots of volume feels wrong for me with my flat hair (and my slender build too, to be honest). I have also learnt to wear my hair down as to me, that makes my neutral-heavy, tomboyish outfits wearable as opposed to too masculine or severe. It was even better when I still had my perm (profile pic), I do love how curls soften masculine looks. Bee on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099959 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 14:57:20 +0000 Bee 2099959@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thank you so much to everyone for their input! It was really therapeutic to read everyone's responses and personal experiences. I found so much encouragement and inspiration, and look forward to figuring out what works and what doesn't, with an understanding that it is a continuous, experimental journey to be taken with mindfulness and patience. The idea of repeating elements of one's personal appearance in one's clothing really sparked something inside. This is not a theory I have heard before, so thank you so much to The Cat for sharing! I think I will experiment with more softness and femininity. As Lesley said, curls can appear somewhat more "romantic," and perhaps I should embrace that element instead of fighting it, and see whether I can incorporate it in a way that still feels like me. I am especially excited to try a trapeze-shaped dress to mimic the shape of my haircut, A-lines in general, and maybe even a pyramid-shaped flowy boho dress??? Who is this person?! :D  Lesley - thank you! Probably 80% of my wardrobe is black. I'm trying to branch out, I swear! The Cat - I feel especially drawn to linen lately. I live in Texas, so it's a fiber I can wear year round. Not sure if the texture is strong enough to complement my hair, but I think I'd be very comfortable starting there. Or maybe boucle to live out my Chanel dreams. :D cindysmith - I know a redhead who doesn't like to wear hot pink straight, but loves to incorporate it in other ways, such as small drops of the color in the fabric pattern, or pink shoes with an otherwise neutral outfit. Seems like a good way to play with a color that maybe doesn't like you as much!  shevia - thank you for the encouragement! Your hair looks so fab, and I love that you use it as an enabler rather than as a limitation. Suz - I love your example of how you use repeating elements of your appearance in your wardrobe. Specifics like that helps me visualize what it all means in practice.  Suz on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099872 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 03:56:06 +0000 Suz 2099872@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ On the subject of repeating aspects of our natural physical appearance -- Angie recently complemented a forum member whose paisley top echoed the curls in her hair (I think it was Barbara Diane). And the whole idea of "bookending" (i.e. matching or nearly matching hair colour to footwear) is based on the same concept.  I definitely repeat elements in my outfits in order to create cohesion-- most often I do this with colour. (I have blue eyes and wear a LOT of blue; I have silver hair and like silver accessories and white in patterns, silver or grey bags or footwear, a silver or white item in an outfit...).  But I also sometimes repeat lines or patterns. For example, I have angular features and an angular hairstyle and I also like clothes with diagonal patterns or lines.   Jaime on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099869 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 03:54:47 +0000 Jaime 2099869@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ beeyou, your hair in your profile picture looks great to me and not too overwhelming. My hair is a statement because of its color more than its curl (and my haircut), but I don't see it as limiting what I wear but rather enabling me to wear what I want without ever thinking is this too young, trendy, edgy, etc. for me. Because that is how I like to dress. Your hair should enable you to do the same with how you want to dress. And, fwiw, there are lots of people with very big hair here, and they just own it skinny jeans and all! cindysmith on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099855 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 03:21:35 +0000 cindysmith 2099855@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Back when I dyed my hair red, my mom made an observation that a certain hot pink sweater didn't look good on me because of the proximity to the hair color. I still won't bring hot pink into my wardrobe even though the red hair is years behind me in favor of my natural white. The Cat on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099816 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 00:45:49 +0000 The Cat 2099816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ beeyou, your curls are beautiful, so I hope they will become an integrated part of your style. And while satin is probably not ideal for you, there are so many other interesting fabrics and textures to choose from. Perhaps velvet, corduroy, tweed, boucle, or soft, loosely knitted items will be perfect for you? Lesley, Imogen is wise, but those theories are not hers alone. Many other stylists, too, will advise you to repeat elements of your physical appearance in your clothing style. This applies for colours, texture, shine, patterns, lines, details, etc. (Of course it is up to you to decide to which degree you want to follow such advice. But it might be worth experimenting--and see how you feel and what kind of feedback you get from others.) Another famous stylist who has written much on this subject is Lisa Pippus in Berlin. And as far as I know, this concept became popular decades ago, in particular when Carla Mathis wrote "The Triumph of Individual Style." Lesley on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099801 Tue, 18 Feb 2020 00:14:23 +0000 Lesley 2099801@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ The Cat! I have never heard Imogen's theories before, and I have yet to decide whether they are accurate or completely zany, or both! What's your take? Makes me want to go analyze all my clothes and see if I feel better in the textured pieces or smooth ones! Could this be why I like lots of patterns in an outfit? Beeyou, the stripey boatneck goes a long way to making my French chic dreams come true. Again, I could say the same for you in your simple black scoop neck! Bee on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099780 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 22:29:34 +0000 Bee 2099780@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Cardiff girl - that's a great perspective! We can really be our own worst critics, when other people don't even notice the "flaws"! lisa p - ha, indeed! They probably both inform one another in a circle of sartorial life. I feel you on the super-feminine clothes. I feel like a Disney princess wannabe whenever I put on ruffles or the skirt is on the full side. Lesley - thank you! I love your curly bob. It looks modern and very French chic, and it's awesome that you found a style that's closer to your personality. I have to discover how I can do that for my style as well, but it may be a little harder when I have't fully figured out my style persona yet. It's an exciting process for sure though! Irina - ageless makes so much sense!! :) Suz - finding a stylist who specialized in curls was a complete game changer. Before, I did not dare wear my curly hair in public! Shorter hair can definitely make the outfit seem sharper and more structured, and it's awesome that your hair complements and enhances your style! Gaylene - I love this so much! Thank you for sharing. It's refreshing to think of the style building process as gradual, iterative, and intentional, and to consider hair as part of the package. Angie - it seems like the small changes in hairstyle can really make it more interesting day to day! I usually wear it either up or down, but may need to switch it up every once in a while to not feel like I'm "locked in" and maybe discover something new. nemosmom - yes! Loud. That's how I feel too. I also prefer neutral and subdued styles, and I wonder if it has something to do with having crazy hair! The Cat - thank you for the encouragement! I really hope I can achieve "a look that is harmonious as well as personal and striking." You put it so beautifully. The Imogen Lamport posts are really interesting. I never felt good in fabrics that are shiny like satin, and I wonder if it's because of the opposite texture from my hair! I only glanced at the blog briefly now, but I will be pouring over every detail in a few hours. rachylou - haha! I love your attitude rachylou on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099763 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 21:36:26 +0000 rachylou 2099763@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I’m terrible at hair. Unless it’s a bob, it’s a wreck. And a bob is a little too slick for my personality... so my style is RATE (rough around the edges) and I’m just running with it... The Cat on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099749 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 20:32:27 +0000 The Cat 2099749@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Welcome back to the forum! I hope you will find the courage, support and inspiration to "embrace" the beauty of your natural hair and make it a part of your total style. This will most probably give you a look that is harmonious as well as personal and striking. My own hair is thick, wavy and short, and the colour is silver. Up through the years, I have had many different hairstyles, but after I stopped trying to change my hair (make it straight or curly, let it grow to shoulder length, colour it, etc.), I look and feel much better. Today, my hair is very much a part of my style, as I dress in colours and textures which are in harmony with my hair. And the (relatively short) length suits my inner gamine and my casually elegant and slightly playful dressing style as well as my busy lifestyle. Imogen Lamport at insideoutstyleblog.com has written several blog posts with lots of tips on how to create harmonious outfits by repeating elements of your physical appearance (such as your hair texture) in your dressing style. Here are some that might be of interest to you: <a href="https://insideoutstyleblog.com/2016/04/create-harmony.html" rel="nofollow">https://insideoutstyleblog.com.....rmony.html</a> <a href="https://insideoutstyleblog.com/2016/04/texture-and-hair.html" rel="nofollow">https://insideoutstyleblog.com.....-hair.html</a> <a href="https://insideoutstyleblog.com/2008/10/how-to-choose-flattering-texture-in-fabrics.html" rel="nofollow">https://insideoutstyleblog.com.....brics.html</a> nemosmom on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099747 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 20:26:24 +0000 nemosmom 2099747@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <div>I totally get where you are coming from. My hair color is naturally a vibrant copper so it often serves as the statement in an outfit, whether I want it to or not. It makes it challenging for me to have the confidence to wear clothing with much color or pattern.  When I was little, my mom dressed me in bright aquas, fuscias, bright blues, and I always felt very "loud". I am trying to experiment with more color, but it is challenging. </div><div> </div><div>My hair is also thick, very coarse, and curly, with a mind of it's own.  The wrong cut can make it lay like a mullet, or like clown hair, depending on how frizzy my hair wants to be on a given day.  Blow-drying it takes FOREVER, and it never lays straight.  I've tried perms, and straighteners, and keratin treatments that were expensive to try to maintain and I never really liked the result.</div> Angie on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099744 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 20:15:38 +0000 Angie 2099744@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ What Gaylene said here, hits the nail on the head:  "Treat your hair as you would the rest of your wardrobe—figure out what’s not working, keep an open mind as you explore new possibilities, and be patient while you are re-building. Your hair is a key element in your personal style so give it the attention it deserves as you work through the re-building process".  I don't have curly hair beeyou, but enjoy that it's a magnificent statement on others. There are LOTS with curly hair on this forum, and I know they will be happy to share their tips. You can switch things up, and wear your hair a few ways, I imagine.  I'm a short hair gal, and like Suz, feel my best with short hair. I change it up a lot though, and enjoy the change of growing out bits and cutting them off! I wear my hair wavy and straight equally and regularly. I am blonde and hightlight the top. I enjoy sporting two-toned hair.  My hair and eyewear are often the edgiest parts about my style, so I feel that these two accessories neutralize/juxtapose and make the "pretty and classic" that I often enjoy wearing feel dead right! My hair affects my style, and my style affects my hair :) Lesley on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099742 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 20:06:37 +0000 Lesley 2099742@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Ooh, Gaylene, I kinda want to see a photo. Gaylene on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099738 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 20:00:46 +0000 Gaylene 2099738@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Does my hair influence—or even define—my personal style? YES!—and no! For decades, my sleek, dark, geometric bob was the defining aspect of my personal style. That shape was the perfect foil for the clean, classic, crisp styles which I adored and which suited my tall, IT body. Six years ago a move to the damp PNW and emerging grey hair changed everything. My hair morphed into a frizzy, fussy mop which fought with my eyewear, clothes, and personality. My attempts to “soften” my personal style into a more feminine—or boho—or arty, Eileen Fisher look—left me even more frustrated. The turning point came when I picked up a friend at a salon and was moaning about my hair woes when my friend emerged with the hair that I wanted so badly. Her stylist looked at me and said “Well, I know what I’d like to do with your hair”. He was talented, expensive, and my first cuts, frankly, weren’t that great. Better to be sure—but still not great. The key, though, was me learning to be patient and to trust my stylist during this period of trial and error. What we both realized was what I wanted was a return to my former cut but with the dramatic volume I could achieve from letting my fine curls do their thing. I would never be a “curly” girl, but I could use my new texture to morph my beloved geometric bob into a new version of itself which worked with my personal style. The lesson I learned was that our hair and style preferences don’t change just because we move or grow older. Acknowledging and honoring those preferences is how our personal style emerges. Staying true to our personal style, though, does not mean becoming fixated on keeping things the same as they were in the past. Treat your hair as you would the rest of your wardrobe—figure out what’s not working, keep an open mind as you explore new possibilities, and be patient while you are re-building. Your hair is a key element in your personal style so give it the attention it deserves as you work through the re-building process. And, remember, unlike clothes, poor hair decisions aren’t destined to become expensive closet “orphans”. Suz on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099737 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 19:58:03 +0000 Suz 2099737@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I don't have curly hair. But my stepdaughter does, and I know it can be the most challenging hair to work with, for those who lack experience. A good hairdresser is key!  I feel most myself with short hair, and luckily it suits me. (Or do I feel most myself with it because it suits me? Hmmmm.) However, my hair is thick and requires a lot of thinning to work in a short (or a longer) style. Times when I wore my hair longer, I did find I needed to experiment with different necklines, especially, than those I prefer when wearing shorter hair. I also found my overall look much "softer" than I prefer (probably because my hair has some wave) and classic items looked more boring. So I do think hair can influence signature style.  Irina on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099727 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 19:21:29 +0000 Irina 2099727@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ Thanks for the suggestion to check Instagram, haven’t thought of it. I gave a creative control to hairdressers before but one needs a really great person for that. <div>Three years ago I got a very light perm, wave actually. I didn’t want curls, all I wanted is to change the texture. It was close to my son’s wedding and didn’t want to fret about my hair on such an important occasion. It really worked, I straightened it with blow drying and styling held through the day despite humidity. But chemicals lightened my hair’s natural color. And I don’t want to change it, it is my signature and such a part of who I’m right now. Well meaning friends suggested I color my hair, I would look younger and it will help with texture. But I don’t want to look younger, I want to look “ageless” doesn’t make sense? </div> Lesley on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099722 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 18:54:39 +0000 Lesley 2099722@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ 1000 times, yes! I feel you as a fellow curly girl who has always felt that severe, sleek bobs (with or without bangs) would better suit my style personality. That said, I saw your photo before I started reading, and I thought you had the hippest look! And that said, I've been not straightening my hair for 18 years now, so at this point curly feels more me. But I identify; curly is a little inherently romantic, and given that I feel like a cartoonish modernist inside, it can be hard to square the two away. The way I have dealt with it may not be your answer, since I find keeping it shoulder length or even shorter (see my pic) is what helps it feel modern. I also don't color my hair, so I feel like it's the best way to make my gray streaks look deliberate, rather than "she's let herself go." Good products and a good haircut make a world of difference. I don't have time for any stylist or product that doesn't *get* the whole curly thing.  Anonymous on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099719 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 18:46:11 +0000 Anonymous 2099719@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I've always wondered if it's a chicken-and-egg situation with hair/style.  Do we adapt our style to work with the hair we've been given, or is it the other way around?  My fine, cowlicky hair looks best short and layered, which makes me feel like I'm playing dress-up when I try to wear super-feminine and "pretty" clothes.   Cardiff girl on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099713 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 18:29:11 +0000 Cardiff girl 2099713@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ I totally understand where you are coming from beeyou but from the opposite end of the spectrum.Like Irina l have  thin,fine flat hair and have spent a lot of my life with the sneaking feeling that outfits would look a whole lot better if I had nicer hair.l know it’s probably not much comfort but other people probably don’t view your hair in the same way that you do.l was discussing this point with a friend and she seemed genuinely surprised that I had fine hair .I try and vary my haircuts ,colour and styles to make my “look” more interesting .l have learnt that there is no point fighting your hair s natural tendencies,making the best of it is the way I choose to go. Bee on "Hair as a (non)accessory" https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/hair-as-a-nonaccessory#post-2099703 Mon, 17 Feb 2020 18:11:51 +0000 Bee 2099703@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ kkards - that is an excellent perspective! We really can be more than 1 thing, and I love the emphasis on feeling comfortable with whatever that means.