https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Sun, 19 Apr 2026 10:50:33 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173889 Sun, 21 Feb 2021 22:07:17 +0000 annagybe 2173889@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It's nearly impossible to social in person these days. Have you looked into online social groups for expats.&nbsp; They might have more specific advice or at least experience with your situations. There seems to be more than on Reddit, for example.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173745 Sun, 21 Feb 2021 05:34:59 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2173745@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>SarahD8, thank you so much! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173734 Sun, 21 Feb 2021 04:25:23 +0000 SarahD8 2173734@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sorry you are struggling FI. Seems like a hard situation. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173699 Sun, 21 Feb 2021 00:23:58 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2173699@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m sorry I posted this. Responses started out helpful and supportive, but that’s been replaced by a sinking feeling. I am not at all comfortable discussing here the kinds of things people are asking now.<br /> But the MJ socks comment was great!</p> <p>UmLila, there are a ton of immigration lawyers here and I have no idea how to figure out who’s a good one, so help in that way would be great. But part of “who’s good” is discretion. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173693 Sat, 20 Feb 2021 23:54:18 +0000 UmmLila (Lisa) 2173693@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>(Edited) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173661 Sat, 20 Feb 2021 19:42:44 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2173661@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Synne, what? No!!! That Jacko comment made me laugh. Please don’t apologize for it. I miss the days when I could gather my little one to my chest when things were rough, or just delight in all the silly moments that happen with a little babe, but you’re right—my son and I are very close, and that is very fortunate! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173649 Sat, 20 Feb 2021 19:14:00 +0000 Synne 2173649@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>FI, I am sorry you are having a hard time. I feel awful for being so harsh in my critique yesterday (MJ socks!). I had no idea about any of this. Your fun photo shoot with DS sounds like a precious moment and a sure pick-me-up. How lucky you are to have him! I hope things work out for you soon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173600 Sat, 20 Feb 2021 16:42:14 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2173600@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Lusara, because of how badly things were going where we were. Also, I didn’t realize how hard it’s be to “break in”. Do you have anything supportive to say? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173597 Sat, 20 Feb 2021 16:36:37 +0000 Lusara 2173597@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p> <div>"I have never come here without having work, etc lined up before, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone!"</div><div><br /></div><div>Why did you do it this time?<br /></div></p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173516 Sat, 20 Feb 2021 10:05:17 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2173516@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you all for your comments, support, suggestions, and commiseration. I’m not doing so well, have read them through many times. Thank you. On Thursday, I thought I just needed a little while and would get back to work on looking for work in the evening. The bridge photo shoot with my son was a little pick me up and then we played catch with the football a little, which did. me even more good, but then I just fell apart and spent most of yesterday moping about and hitting “refresh” on ylf, IG, and Email way too much. </p> <p>So today is a new day. It is bright and sunny, and even getting warm, probably low 50s today. I’ve written a note to the daughter-of-a-friend who is helping me with the applications (she works in HR) and am now going to start again. She is great at editing my applications, grammar, but also things like “take out this bit where you show a personal connection to the company’s stated values; they don’t want to know about applicants as people” and the like. She does it when she has a spare moment. I really wish I could find an agency to work with, because then I’d have that sense of responsibility/obligation, and they’d keep me accountable with “FI, I was expecting you to turn in a draft this morning; where is it?” Lol, actually just the thought of that would make me push through. I need an accountability buddy! </p> <p>My schedule this week will be to do an application or two in the morning, then tactile engagement with the real world (exercise, cleaning, groceries, cooking...) in the afternoon, and working on the grant proposal in the evenings. My son is here, working on school things. He needs some occasional love, whether it’s playing football, making him a peanut butter sandwich, or long chats about life. He also needs my good good example of pulling my socks up and moving on, as Helena pointed out. </p> <p>The system here is well-organized, but it is designed to serve those already in the system. I have never come here without having work, etc lined up before, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone! They do have an asylum process in place for those who have that kind of need to break into the system quickly. I don’t begrudge them that at all. In my 30s, I lived here with the love of my life and many of his friends and extended family, all of whom were refugees. I am thankful that we have never been in that situation. </p> <p>Currently, my network here is very, very small. My son’s school would naturally provide lots of good possibilities, but I’ve never met most of the other parents because of Covid. Making up my own LLC? I could declare myself a freelancer, but need some stuff to back that up, beginning (I think) with a couple contracts. Hmm. </p> <p>Anyway, onward! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173422 Fri, 19 Feb 2021 20:40:05 +0000 Cardiff girl 2173422@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear this.Can’t offerany practical help but you have my best wishes for a speedy resolution to your problem.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173189 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 22:16:40 +0000 Joyce B 2173189@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>That is so hard, FI. I have no wisdom to offer but I wish you and your son a good resolution to the problem. I thought the system where you are was better organized than that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173157 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 21:23:25 +0000 Minaminu 2173157@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear, job searching can be soul destroying. Take a break for a couple of days, go for a walk, try to connect with nature and enjoy as many free things that are currently available in your new city. </p> <p>I remember when I was looking for a job in Germany, it was a catch22 between the paperwork and the job offering (and I am French/Italian). It's sad to see that things have not changed 20 years later but that's how that country works. Try to connect with expats and see if they have any job leads as sometimes the employer who knows the process is more understanding of the visa requirement. </p> <p>Best of luck with your search! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173075 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 18:22:41 +0000 unfrumped 2173075@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry. Hoping things improve soon. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173034 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 16:18:06 +0000 Anonymous 2173034@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh no FI! Any chance the immigration office would let you know what jobs they would give a permit for? Are there companies they work with a lot? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2173007 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 14:37:01 +0000 Helena 2173007@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh wow, what a frustrating catch-22 they are putting you ... be strong yes, but you are allowed to have a day (or 10!) where you are just fed up and need to be upset - remember, this also gives DS permission to have those days too xx </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2172998 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 13:49:02 +0000 Glory 2172998@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I’m so sorry to hear this. What a bureaucratic nightmare. I hope things turn around quickly.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2172993 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 13:34:11 +0000 rachylou 2172993@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>What a world we live in. Any chance you could start a business and sponsor yourself? That was what my English ex-boss did to come to the U.S. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2172991 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 13:23:17 +0000 Bijou 2172991@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>So sorry to hear this. We get knocked down and get up again.... even those with a warrior spirit need to take some time to process the loss before they launch into action again. Be kind to yourself today, maybe make a special meal or buy a bunch of flowers, something uplifting. Tomorrow is waiting and hopefully will bring the opportunity you need. Hugs. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/got-turned-down#post-2172975 Thu, 18 Feb 2021 11:42:43 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2172975@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>for a job today. I started working in Jan, lost that one because the immigration office wouldn’t give me a permit for it. Applied at a place that offered me a job a year ago, couldn’t take it because of the immigration service, think I have that mess untangled, but they don’t want to try again.<br /> The immigration service won’t give us residency permits if I don’t have a job. Right now we are on 3-month “fictitious” visas. Yes, right on the cars it says that it’s not real.<br /> Score zero.<br /> I’m so sick of this. It should motivate me to apply, apply, apply, all day long, but I just want to crawl under a rock.<br /> Have to keep my chin up to be emotionally supportive of my son. </p>