https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Tue, 14 Apr 2026 22:44:30 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161354 Tue, 25 May 2010 03:20:08 +0000 Mellllls 161354@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm still in my 20s and have yet to see a gray hair on me (my fiance that's another matter) so I am not at all speaking from personal knowledge. I really think dying your gray/white hair is a personal choice and you need to be at peace with whatever decision you make. No matter whether it is the stylish choice or not. I hope you all make peace with your choice, whatever it may be. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161351 Tue, 25 May 2010 03:17:46 +0000 Maya 161351@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Wrinkles, spider veins, stretch marks, sagging chests...all of these things are seen as unsightly and we are bombarded each and every day with advertising for products and techniques that claim to reduce or eliminate these issues. But unlike hair, these things can't be "fixed" as easily. Perhaps that is why. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161348 Tue, 25 May 2010 03:13:33 +0000 chewyspaghetti 161348@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Well we just disagree on that Maya. I do think that the pressure to color your hair is separate from our society's obsession with youth. Gray hair is seen as not only old, but ugly. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161343 Tue, 25 May 2010 03:08:35 +0000 Maya 161343@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think some of that has to do with one's station in life Khris. Turning 60 symbolizes major changes in one's life, even if none of those changes actually happen. It is the year we associate with retirement and the realization of one's lifelong dreams (or at least it was before this dang recession). I guess those changes in life also signal a change in our hair color! </p> <p>It's important to look youthful (not young, but youthful) in the workplace. Just like there is no advantage to looking like a teenager, there any advantage in looking like a granny. Once you're out of the workplace, there is a lot of freedom, including the freedom to go gray if you so choose. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161327 Tue, 25 May 2010 02:50:20 +0000 Theresa 161327@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Interesting thread...</p> <p>I'm almost 31, and have "white streaks" coming through - at the moment they are sparse enough that they don't look out of place, but I do colour my hair about 3-4 times a year, and will keep this up as darker hair suits me more than lighter hair does - lighter hair makes me look unwell. So its not the grey that makes me want to continue colouring - under my current colour is a lighter blonde that I experimented with so I'm covering it until its all gone!</p> <p>But, my brothers (24 &amp; 26) are quite grey - they started going grey in their late teens. 1 colours his hair (his girlfriend is the beauty therapist so they, as a couple, are both more aesthetically aware than a lot of people around here), the other one just keeps it short and because he is so pale naturally you don't notice it. So I'm very pleased that I've had quite delayed greying in comparison to the boys. Interestingly, they both have VERY noticeable receding hair lines so I can see them being grey and bald before they are 40... </p> <p>My Nan has pure white hair that is just glorious on her! She has lovely blue eyes and keeps her hair short. So, if my hair ends up like hers (as opposed to my dads that is more a true grey), I'll happily sport it au naturale when its all white... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161059 Mon, 24 May 2010 18:50:41 +0000 Isabel 161059@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have been going grey since my thirties. It doesn't look good on me because it is in patches. I also have very light skin, so the grey completely washes me out. </p> <p>But it looks fab on other people. Particularly people who are "rosy". Try a semi permanent color that washes out slowly and that way you get to see what it looks like dyed and not dyed. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161048 Mon, 24 May 2010 18:39:33 +0000 judy 161048@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I let my hair go undyed about ten years ago, in my mid-forties. I actually chopped it all off after letting it grow out a bit. I felt very brave. So I'm a lot grey and then my own color brown too. I agree it does make you look older. Do I like it? It depends on which day you ask me :). There are times I do and times I don't. What I do like is the texture of my hair again, without dye. It feels like real hair again. Maybe there are some really good dyes that make hair soft and wonderful...? One thing people do which I have wondered about doing is to do reverse lights...instead of highlights, doing some of the darker color that is natural to you and weaving that in, so that there is more of an even tone. You aren't really hiding the grey, just making the grey you have look better. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161029 Mon, 24 May 2010 18:15:24 +0000 chewyspaghetti 161029@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The consensus here is that gray hair on an under 60 year old 'ages' you. Which means, that the assumption is made that gray hair is normal for a 60 year old, but not much younger. The reality is that most people will have some graying in their 40's- and that is completely normal. We don't see much of that (as a society) because women and some men will usually dye their gray hair- feeding back into the assumption and giving the idea longevity. I think the other side of the societal standard is historical. People are living much longer now than ever before. 100 years ago or more, when they were writing about a old white haired woman or man, that person was probably in their 40's or 50's. People just didn't live that long. Age is relative to lifespan, and that has changed a lot in the last 100 years. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey/page/2#post-161027 Mon, 24 May 2010 18:13:30 +0000 Maya 161027@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mom believes that men just age better. According to her, women have to deal with pregnancy and hormone issues and menopause and men don't, therefore they age better. We lose our ability to bear children, but men don't lose their ability to "make" them, so there is a biological reason for them to continue being attractive.</p> <p>Just so no one yells at me: I don't agree with her. Few men age like Cary Grant and George Clooney. Most end up bald and beer-bellied :p I'm just saying that unfortunately it is not an uncommon perception that men get better with age while women deteriorate in attractiveness. </p> <p>I would totally show my mom this forum and prove her wrong, except that she would have an apoplexy if she found out I interact with strangers on the internet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-161023 Mon, 24 May 2010 18:06:20 +0000 cyan45 161023@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>i'm 32 and over the last year have started sprouting a few white hairs, courtesy of genetics (bah, thanks dad!)</p> <p>frankly, it's sad that men don't have to hem and haw endlessly about this topic. unless looking young is vital to his job or ego, they don't seem to have to think about it nearly as much.</p> <p>my fiance has a number of white hairs, but doesn't seem too bothered by it at all.</p> <p>then again, perhaps receeding hairline and/or baldness is the male equivalent.</p> <p>just curious: has dying hair been a really big deal in decades (or centuries) past? during mozart's time, huge white hair wigs were all the rage...but then again, i don't think they showered much.</p> <p>or, do hair expectations parallel every other beauty trend as technology advances and expectations increase (ie, plastic surgery/skin tightening options for face and body, fitness norms, access to organic food, older women must 'keep up appearances' with younger ones to compete in the workplace a la charla krupp...)</p> <p>anyway, i have no idea what i'll do when the white hairs take over maybe wear a wig? it's cheaper than monthly salon visits over ~20 years. my purple halloween wig can have a second job after all! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-161013 Mon, 24 May 2010 17:44:18 +0000 Maya 161013@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I always try to remember that YLF is special and not necessarily representative of the broader view (oh how I wish it were). Unfortunately there are a whole lot of people out there who think veiny, blemished legs are unslightly and should be covered. Heck, there are people out there who think even flawless youthful legs should be covered for "modesty" (why and how that is modest is beyond me, and I'm a total prude). Those same people are probably the ones saying you must dye your hair. </p> <p>I don't personally think there is anything wrong with going gray so at least as far as I am concerned, it's not an issue. I'm just saying that it will make you look older. You're either comfortable with that or you aren't, and I don't pass judgment either way. I think it's fantastic when women embrace their age, but I also think it's fantastic when they don't want to be defined by their age. Yay either way from me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-161011 Mon, 24 May 2010 17:38:28 +0000 Claudia 161011@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Spotty and vainy legs are also a sign of age, but not always. Regardless, these skin conditions definitely increase with aging. The 'sisterhood' embraces acceptance on this (yay from me!), but grey hair is more of an issue for some reason. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-161009 Mon, 24 May 2010 17:31:03 +0000 Maya 161009@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>The word "premature" is key to me. I actually don't know anyone myself who has had this happen yet, so it's probably best not to rely on anecdotal evidence as that will vary tremendously from person to person. I mean, I know people who have a few stray gray hairs but I have not yet encountered anyone in my age group who is naturally totally gray (unless they are lying). </p> <p>You can't totally write off the link between age and gray hair just because there are a few young people who have gray hair. Nothing wrong with that. It's all genetics. But the perception exists for a reason, and it existed long before people commonly dyed their hair.</p> <p>I still think the pressure to dye your hair is one and the same with the pressure to look young and not independent of it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-161006 Mon, 24 May 2010 17:28:17 +0000 Claudia 161006@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Maya, believe me, there is huge pressure to dye your hair out in society, similar to that of being thin. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160996 Mon, 24 May 2010 17:07:42 +0000 chewyspaghetti 160996@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>"Some people begin to sprout a few hairs at a younger age, but rarely does your entire head of hair lose color."</p> <p>Sure it does- it's called premature graying. I know quite a few people who this has happened to and are fully gray or white in their 20's. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160994 Mon, 24 May 2010 17:03:15 +0000 Maya 160994@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I don't think there is necessarily any pressure to dye hair, but there is always pressure to look young, and this is just one manifestation of that. Going gray DOES make you look older. There is no question in my mind about that. It's simply biology: hair loses color with age, and therefore the association with age and gray hair is not inaccurate. Some people begin to sprout a few hairs at a younger age, but rarely does your entire head of hair lose color. </p> <p>The question is really: Do you mind looking older or not? If not, then by all means, go gray! If so, then dye. There is nothing wrong with either choice IMO but you have to be realistic about how you will be perceived. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160992 Mon, 24 May 2010 16:52:16 +0000 marianne 160992@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I agree with Chewy, and I mentioned it on the forum before - we discussed it in the past a few times. I am 36 and I have some gray right now (10% maybe?), and it seems to come in spurts. I have always worn my hair long, but I am planning on cutting it short when the gray is more prominent, so it will be an adjustment.</p> <p>I think it's a cultural thing and a matter of "adjusting the eye". Major plastic surgery cases aside, you can always figure out the age of a person whether her hair is gray or not. I know in many cultures being gray is even less acceptable than in US, but I don't see why as a woman I am expected to spend the money and effort not to mention additional exposure to toxic substances. I absolutely respect others' decision to dye, and I don't really know what will happen and how the graying will progress, but it's just my personal feeling about it, and I am OK with losing a few style points.</p> <p>FWIW, I've known a few women who have gone gray gradually and looked great - they are in good physical shape and dress up-to-date. One could argue that they would have looked better if they dyed their hair, but I'd be happy if I look like them. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160934 Mon, 24 May 2010 15:12:49 +0000 Claudia 160934@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>CS wrote: "If we can bare our pasty white, scarred up legs, and our flabby arms- why not our honestly acquired gray hairs?"</p> <p>I thought the same thing about the bravely baring blemished legs blog and why this is so different in the responses. Fascinating.</p> <p>Mac, I apprecited the links you posted and agree that the reader comments were worth reading, even more so than the blogs themselves. Great thought provoking comments all around, pro and con.</p> <p>I know it's apples to oranges, but men go grey and many times go bald at all ages. Yet very few men spend hours a month and lots of money putting toxic pastes on their heads and glueing on toupees. Their peer group of other men usually frown upon it, but for women we usually shout "Dye!" or you might look your age or, shrudder... older. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160930 Mon, 24 May 2010 15:06:23 +0000 Katja 160930@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm with you, chewyspaghetti! The "polish" argument has some merit (we wear makeup, we color our nails, we wear the right bra), but I think with a good cut and good care, we can look just as pulled together and stylish as anyone, grey or no grey.</p> <p>I colored my hair for a while, and I know now that I was choosing harsh, awful colors and that while it may not have aged me, it certainly wasn't doing me any favours. I'm letting the grey do what it wants now. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160927 Mon, 24 May 2010 15:00:40 +0000 chewyspaghetti 160927@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This attitude always makes me a little sad. I don't currently have any gray hairs, but I know that at 37 it can't be too far away for me. I don't color my hair now, and I don't plan on starting when I go gray. Maybe I will change my mind when it happens, but it's just a sad state that women feel like they have to hide their gray hair. My mom colors her gray hair herself, and it looks horrible. Does it age you? No, I think that is just society's perception of it. It ages you in the eyes of the people around you, not in appearance. If we can bare our pasty white, scarred up legs, and our flabby arms- why not our honestly acquired gray hairs? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160922 Mon, 24 May 2010 14:50:05 +0000 Queen Mum 160922@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>When I thiink of the women I know who are grey... the ones who have a short modern hairstlye I don't even think of as being grey, but the ones who have longer hair that would suit a younger woman are the ones who I notice the grey in most. Just my 2 cents....</p> <p>okay, just looked at your profile and see that you are 2 years younger than me... definitely color </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160892 Mon, 24 May 2010 13:23:33 +0000 Louise 160892@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm 30 and have a few grey hairs I'm in the dye it camp x </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160882 Mon, 24 May 2010 12:12:55 +0000 Scarlet 160882@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have friends (several!) who started going grey in their 20s, and in that case I would probably cover it. I am 30 and would probably also cover it if my hair started to grey. However as one gets older (don't know how old you are) I think there can be a harmony to the process depending on you and your lifestyle. My mother (dark-haired) never dyed her hair, although she is lucky with shiny silver hair. Probably she would look younger if she did dye it, but that's just not her. She also does not normally wear make-up. If you do dye it please find someone good and avoid that harsh, one-color, dark look. An alternative strategy is to start lightening your natural color so that the grey is less noticeable. That would work with your concerns about not wanting to change your no-makeup routine. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160827 Mon, 24 May 2010 04:03:54 +0000 Debbie 160827@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I had this same question not too long ago. I can't find the thread though. I decided to dye. Right now it is a reddish brown and I really love it. On me the grey was aging not just physically but mentally too. I felt older just looking in the mirror.</p> <p>At some point I will revisit the grey and embrace it but not yet. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160826 Mon, 24 May 2010 03:51:58 +0000 Anonymous 160826@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Thank you, Taylor. Being over 60 is probably key to wearing it grey. I agree that more than ever one needs a good current style or you can end up looking like a witch or Maxine. The best style I've seen on a white haired lady is a shorter spiky version of your hair style. It was so fab on a petite woman. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160822 Mon, 24 May 2010 03:28:29 +0000 taylor 160822@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Joy, You are a perfect example of how to wear grey hair gracefully. At , near , or over 60 and a cute, spunky current style. also your style is off the chart....winning combo:) </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160816 Mon, 24 May 2010 03:12:42 +0000 Anonymous 160816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I'm one of those who didn't dye my hair, totally anyway, when going grey. For awhile I had frosting or highlights that blended in the gray without showing roots. That worked very well for me. My hair was a medium brown. Sometimes I'd do those home dyes that last for 6-8 weeks but hated the all-one-color look until it had faded some. These also avoided roots growing out.<br /> I think gray hair looks best when most of your hair has turned. Mine is not any harder than non-gray hair to keep up. I don't use any special shampoos other than one for volume. I get loads of compliments on the color and style (bob that's shorter in back and below the chin in front). When I thought I'd like to mess with the color, my stylist refused. It probably makes me look older but I'm ok with it. I see too many friends with harsh dark or brassy blonde dye jobs looking older than their actual years. Of course it doesn't have to be that way but one probably needs a good professional to do the coloring.<br /> Just as any time you change your hair color, it affects what colors look best on you for clothing and makeup. This is the first time in my life I've been able to wear black. I do wear grey and beige but find that white isn't the best near my face. You just have to experiment whatever your hair color and do what is comfortable for you. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160809 Mon, 24 May 2010 02:45:08 +0000 Katiepea 160809@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Oh Sharon, I share this dilemma (drat those genetics!). </p> <p>I contemplated not dying for a little while a couple of years ago as I thought I might make a "statement" having a young face with grey hair. After thinking about it I decided that being grey now is NOT for me anytime soon (I really don't think before I'm 60 - I will re-evaluate then). </p> <p>For you, I guess it really comes down to what you are comfortable with. Dying does require some effort and cost. HOWEVER, I would say that for grey hair to look and gorgeously sophisticated, it will STILL require you to go to some effort and regular maintenance. Without effort to style your hair AND makeup, I do frankly, believe grey hair has the ability to look very ageing and drab. </p> <p>In terms of the whole dying scenario, I have found that if I have really "dark" (which for me would be mid brown) dyed hair it would more than likely to look harsh against my colouring and dreadfully fake. I have learnt this one the hard way. </p> <p>As such, I have had to go a "light brown" colour, rather than a mid brown colour because this is more flattering with my skin tones. As my skin is starting to get just a touch of redness, I have toned down red highlights and warm shades and have gone for more of a cool "ash" type shade. </p> <p>For in between colour jobs, so I avoid that nasty "stripe", I have a hair crayon and just colour in the greys. It is not really that expensive or time consuming. There are some good hair dyes out there, even in the supermarket. If you have any friends who are a hairdresser you could ask him/her to help you select a good product and shade for you (this is what I did!).</p> <p>I plan to stay a brunette until I go really white (expect by early-mid 40's, so over the next five-10 years.). At this point, I plan on dying my hair blonde, maybe even platinum - because heck, if I have white hair anyway, I may as well have fun being a blonde for a little while - it's not like the regrowth will be dreadful! &lt;tee-hee!&gt; </p> <p>It will be fascinating to see what you decide to do! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160802 Mon, 24 May 2010 02:15:41 +0000 Angie 160802@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sharon, I am in 100% agreement with Taylor. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/going-grey#post-160794 Mon, 24 May 2010 02:08:39 +0000 Anonymous 160794@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>My mom is 58 and stopped coloring her hair. She does a couple of things to make the gray hair work:</p> <p>Short, sassy haircut.<br /> Aveda Blue Malva Shampoo.<br /> Proper make-up.<br /> Wears clear or rich colors. No gray. No beige.<br /> Accessories. </p>