https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary Style Advice for Fashion Lovers en-US Wed, 22 Apr 2026 19:53:33 +0000 http://bbpress.org/?v=1.0.2 q https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/search.php https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2186665 Wed, 14 Apr 2021 05:07:12 +0000 chewyspaghetti 2186665@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Before I got my new job, while I waslooking and having no luck I began purchasing a wardrobe for work. It was all pieces that I could have worn casually, so they wouldn't go to waist. I just had confidence that I would eventually find a professional position and I would need a wardrobe to match. I'm glad I did, and the job came shortly after that. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185886 Sat, 10 Apr 2021 14:31:02 +0000 Jules 2185886@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Personally my weight has been up and down my whole life so I’ve learned a few times over that saving smaller clothes is mostly a losing proposition *for me* because those clothes tend not work any more for various reasons. My promise to myself is to always maintain a nice small wardrobe at my current size, whatever that may be. So I don’t need to worry that I might lose weight or change lifestyles and not have nice clothes, because I can and will get them when I need them. And for me this is an important way to respect and prioritize myself, something I’ve neglected at times.<br /> That’s not to say I get rid of things quickly when my size changes. Currently I’m hanging on to a small wardrobe of one-size-too-small office clothes that I bought around the time I found youlookfab and started giving myself permission to enjoy fashion and spend money on myself. Since then, in addition to my size, my work environment changed even pre Covid and it’s getting less and less likely I will ever wear those items again. Pondering why I have hung onto them so long, I realized the attachment was symbolic because of the reasons I bought those things, namely the self-respect and newfound enjoyment of fashion I mentioned. So now that I understand I will probably let some of them go too. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185816 Sat, 10 Apr 2021 07:06:27 +0000 N 2185816@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've only been to NZ and Australia in the winter, and the sun was pretty strong even then...wouldn't like to think of the summer. Definitely a very temperate climate person, western European temperate. As in little humidity during summer, not masses of snow and temperatures more on the cool side rather than hot. Basically describing northern UK where i'm from haha. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185814 Sat, 10 Apr 2021 06:45:12 +0000 Sally 2185814@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>@ N.&nbsp; I lived in Tokyo over 20 years ago and found it impossible clothes wise.&nbsp; Well nothing fitted me as I was about a size 14-16 NZ and I had to go to a special part of the store for bigger sizes.&nbsp; My mum used to send me skirts but the seasons were very frustrating with snow boots one month and then the sweltering heat of summer. We were supposed to look corporate /professional too so I mainly wore dresses in summer and pants and jackets in winter.&nbsp; The sun in NZ is much stronger than Japan but at least in NZ you can wear sleeveless shirts, even shorts to work and bare legs.&nbsp; I noticed a lot of Japanese women wore stockings in summer.&nbsp; So my casual self did not do well in Japan. I think I would suit a country which is reasonably cool and I can wear jeans to work.&nbsp;&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185812 Sat, 10 Apr 2021 05:41:21 +0000 N 2185812@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Sally i'm the same as you, I have almost nothing to dress up in at all. I need more dressy things as Japan is generally dressier that say the UK. The problem being is the climate here. I'm not suited to it and not used to the summers even after 7 years here. I find it hard to wear anything dressy in the summer. I'd be happier with little to no clothes (but people here don't dress in vest tops at all) and also it doesn't offer any sun protection which is 100% needed here as the UV index is stronger than what i'm used to. I also sweat so much compared to the vast majority of people here, i'm just not suited to it. My hope is in the future to go back to the UK for 6 weeks each summer but we'll see what the future holds travel wise. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185798 Sat, 10 Apr 2021 04:22:10 +0000 Sally 2185798@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>This was a really interesting thread.&nbsp; Thanks for starting it.&nbsp; My problem is the opposite of a lot of peoples.&nbsp; I love casual clothes and do not prepare for dressing up.&nbsp; My pinterest is full of street style looks more suitable for how a student in Paris/London might dress.&nbsp; I do need to maintain some professionalism in my dress (not corporate ) and there are times when I do need to dress up.&nbsp; If there are any kinds of dressy events, I struggle to find something to wear and find accessories and a bag for the occasion.&nbsp; I used to solve this by having a LBD (but gave this away as it got too tight)&nbsp; but I think I need to plan one outfit or more that I can wear if the occasion calls for dressing up.&nbsp;</p> <p>&nbsp;<br />I found this article really interesting...ironically in my pinterest feed. Not really about an imaginary life but maybe bridging the gap between aspirations and reality<br /><a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.practicallyfashion.com/blog/2016/2/5/how-to-bridge-the-gap-between-your-pinterest-and-your-real-closet?format=amp">http://www.practicallyfashion......st-and-you</a></p> <p>&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185746 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 23:42:05 +0000 Sloper 2185746@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I've read and reread this thread, and when I came back to it today, it was the title, and the following which are making me think:</p> <p><b>"Sometimes though, it can be difficult to know what’s real and what’s not." </b>If I understand what you mean <b>-&nbsp;</b>in regards to what our "actual" life is.</p> <p>I can, as most other Fabbers seem to, differentiate between imaginary vs. a real life.&nbsp;&nbsp;</p> <p>But I do find myself butting up against what is my "real life" goal and what is "what I end up with."&nbsp; Hate to phrase it as "what I've settled for" though!!!</p> <p>I've had goals (academic, work, social), achieved some, but many times crashed into the wall of REAL reality&nbsp; - from my own mental or physical limits, chance, other people, etc. etc. That IS life, isn't it!</p> <p>Clothes-wise, while I don't buy for an imaginary life - meaning a life entirely outside the realm of my own potentiality, I have bought and held on to things that I think I'm "just this far away" from achieving:&nbsp; those last few pounds, work clothes that are a little too nice/expensive, the vacations we can't take anymore.&nbsp; After a difficult health period (which is now full of chronic limitations) I did donate all of the work clothes but am still drawn to beautiful suits - especially this year' offerings - its awful! :-)</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185729 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 22:47:46 +0000 Jenni NZ 2185729@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I like what Sal has said the best. That often happens. Not sure how much a similar cultural identity from the same small country plays into that or not, since we are nearly 10 years apart in age and have different personal styles.<br /> I am known for keeping sentimental clothing but not necessarily for wanting to fit back into it. As Suz says earlier in your thread, I have gradually edited out a fair bit in recent years. Like when we built the new house and I cleared/donated/sold some of my items, both books and some clothes felt kind of like giving away my treasures. I know that is ridiculous but that is me. Having said that, I am relieved to find that I don’t miss the things, mostly. Maybe over the past 2 years of the new house I have missed about 2 things. Not bad. I also wrap my identity up in clothing, and remember fondly times of happiness, so don’t wish to lose the items from those happy times sometimes. But sort of gulping and being sensible about it did help me gradually pare down. And overall I feel better for it. I think if you remove things slowly that may help psychologically, not that I would presume to be a counsellor. I cannot lean easily into my identity not being wrapped up in things. It’s a good idea theoretically but not me. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185665 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 16:44:06 +0000 Gaylene 2185665@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I fall into the Suz, LaPed, Joy, (and others) camp of wanting clothes &nbsp;which fit my current body, lifestyle, and style preferences. Even as a relatively healthy 72, I can see that my body doesn’t bend to my wishes the way it did in my younger years. And I’m realistic enough to know is that &nbsp;the body I’m currently inhabiting WILL &nbsp;change in the future—in ways I may not anticipate or be able to control.&nbsp;<div><br /></div><div>Being able to fit into something I wore a decade ago doesn’t enthuse me because those clothing choices belong to a younger version of myself. What I want now is the excitement of a well-thought-out closet which fits my current body, elevates my spirits, and makes me smile when I see myself in a mirror or window reflection. The woman I want to see in that reflection is confident in her fashion sense and is happily exploring the joys of her senior years.&nbsp;<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Sentimental items can be cherished and packed away in tissue paper but I don’t consider them part of a functional wardrobe. Finding responsible ways to re-purpose items which no longer fit into my current wardrobe is a topic for another day but, for me, a “holding zone” has limited value.</p> <p>As for goal-setting vs. imaginary life, I’d put them both in the same category—at least until the goal is achieved and the new reality has made itself known. It’s always struck me as interesting how the reality of an achievement, or change, never quite fit my imagined version. I’m reminded of a pair of on-sale Hunter boots I bought in preparation for a move from Calgary to the “rainy” Pacific Northwest. Those boots were &nbsp;brand-new when I gave them five years later to a young relative who, weirdly, lived in Calgary! &nbsp;<br /></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185647 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 14:49:53 +0000 Anonymous 2185647@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I have to keep reminding myself that I am almost 75 years old. That is my real life and physical problems have definitely impacted my wardrobe, unexpectedly. No heels or sandals if I don’t want to be an amputee; no high or snug waists, which rules out shape-wear and belts and most jeans. Now, post menopause, I run cold in a chilly/ cold climate. Toppers indoors and out. Small bags to accommodate my glucose meter are a daily reality and they take a toll on clothes with pilling.<br /> You need to dress for your life now. Weight is harder to lose as you get older. I think of it as nature’s way of protecting your bones. Your body will change .<br /> The most frustrating time for me was when nursing a baby. I kept prepregnacy clothes that I could not wear because they would not work for nursing. Then my body was different after children even when the extra weight was gone. Even my foot size had changed. Clothing definitely fit differently.<br /> Another time is after college. You may not be sitting as much, so hips shrink and your shape can change. I know there will be more changes and look at them as opportunities for a change of wardrobe. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185641 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 14:13:42 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2185641@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Zaoebi, no need to apologize for “making it about you”. I ASKED for examples of shaping your wardrobe to suit the life you’re striving for, or not. Your tale of accepting your adult body shape, instead of trying to return to adolescence, is great. (Fwiw, I agree with you on your shape—you look great). The example about clothes for London is insightful too. </p> <p>Runcarla, got it! Thanks for describing your transition from running to less running, more swimming. It’s exactly the kind of gut-wrenching life choice connected to clothing that I was thinking of. </p> <p>Jenn, great statement about possessions and possibility not being the same thing. It’s always fun to interact with your wardrobe philosophy; it is well thought through and clearly different from mine. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185571 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 03:38:42 +0000 Carla 2185571@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>It’s a joke for crying out loud! &nbsp;In response to your “I will need an identity other than “mom” “ comment. Being a mom is inescapable once you’re in! :-D</p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185569 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 03:24:12 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2185569@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Carla, what?? I never said anything about not being a mom to your kids. Is that what you got out of me saying that I need to have other roles in life and not define myself purely by parenting? </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185566 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 03:06:14 +0000 Zaeobi 2185566@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I feel like this when it comes to currently being unable to go visit the UK or PK (or at least not feeling safe to do so yet - I was supposed to get vaccinated last week but then we had that Astra Zenneca storage nightmare...) </p> <p>Anyway I digress lol - my solution for now has been to implement a holding zone but also to try on the items in there so that I'm ONLY keeping the ones that still fit well. That automatically reduces the amount of clothing I'm keeping in that capsule anyway. You may wish to do the same (yes, even the lingerie - sometimes our bodies change in a way where things that made us feel sexy or empowered in the past now make us feel like a shrivelled prune. Not that I speak from experience or anything lol) </p> <p>I think there's no one right or wrong answer to this. But do also keep in mind that sometimes holding onto things in the hopes that we'll revert to that state someday can also hold us BACK from developing into something else in the future. In my case, I used to be a lot skinnier as a teenager/ early 20s adult. I held onto a lot of clothing as a result of this (&amp; external pressures) to feel like I needed to get back to that weight. But I've recently come to terms with the fact that, whilst I could maybe stand to lose a few lockdown pounds here or there, I actually PREFER the way I look &amp; feel right now. I have more energy (I now do things like go for spontaneous hikes lol) &amp; actually the extra roundness on my face seems to 'suit' me more (I look a lot less 'hollow', if that makes sense). </p> <p>Anyway, sorry to make that about me lol. Just wanted to say that I empathise &amp; am on this journey right along with you all </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185558 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 02:38:34 +0000 Carla 2185558@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>‘When have you needed to decide what was your real life and what was just imaginary? &nbsp;How did you decide and how did it turn out in the end?’</p> <p>I’ve&nbsp;been fortunate that for most of my adulthood (25-55 yo) I’ve been the same weight and size, so didn’t experience a lot of wardrobe churn. I donated maternity clothes and my wedding dress when DH and I closed up shop after DS#2. &nbsp;I had&nbsp;clothes for my real life and real body, and didn’t have any time or energy for a fantasy&nbsp;life. :-D</p> <p> <div>I’ve experienced more churn these past 5 years, though. &nbsp;They have been marked by a slow unplanned for weight loss,&nbsp;retirement from the workforce, and a step back from competitive running and triathlon. &nbsp;</div><div><div><br /></div><div>10lbs didn’t make a huge change in how things fit (I’m 5ft 7in) but the second 10lbs did. &nbsp;Between a lifestyle change (retirement) and size change, it didn’t make sense to keep much of my pre-retirement clothing. &nbsp;Binning some of it, and donating other pieces was cathartic, and has already been documented. &nbsp;Real life = I’m not dressing to meet a workplace dress code or to fit in with the norms of that environment. &nbsp;Real life = dress the body I have&nbsp;<i>now. &nbsp;</i>Turned out fine. &nbsp;No regrets. &nbsp;<i><br /></i><br /><i></i><i></i><i></i>The hardest real life/imaginary life clothing decision has been around fitness kit. &nbsp;I’ve been a runner since the age of 13, and triathlete since 45, but in 2017 I completed my last event. &nbsp;Slow times and a worsening Trendelenburg gait was the writing on the wall. I did a hard edit last fall and gone are most of the&nbsp;competition gear and inclement weather kit. &nbsp;Real life = fair weather cyclist, and gym rat. &nbsp;I&nbsp;<i>have&nbsp;</i>kept the minimum gear required for a triathlon event (fantasy?) and actually replenished my swim capsule (Finds) last month - since I swim&nbsp;3/week when not in lockdown. &nbsp;I’ve had the bike out this month. &nbsp;PT seems to be helping, and I may be running again soon. Hope springs eternal! &nbsp;I would submit that participating in a race of some sort is the closest I have to an imaginary life, and I haven’t&nbsp;<i>quite&nbsp;</i>given up on that.</p> <p>As an optimist I believe the best is yet to come. &nbsp; </p> <p> </div><div>FWIW FI - you are never not a mom to your kid(s) as my 83 yo mother tells me all the time!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185554 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 02:14:01 +0000 Anonymous 2185554@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I love this discussion and find it so interesting. I think a key distinction is the difference between our imaginary lives and our past lives. Our imaginary lives may be pure fantasy, or they may be something that you know is going to be true but hasn’t happened yet - like when you planned for your move. Past lives, on the other hand, really did happen to us and can be harder to move on from.&nbsp; </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185538 Fri, 09 Apr 2021 00:44:21 +0000 rachylou 2185538@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>An interesting question. I suppose the short answer is, I have never yielded to reality, only drifted away from certain fantasies. But downsizing from a suburban apartment to a tiny urban one had me paring the closet down. And becoming diabetic had me jettisoning a lot because it’d become unwearable and it also meant, for reasons unknown, that my weight no longer fluctuates wildly - I don’t keep multiple sizes ‘just in case’ anymore.</p> <p>And I have to say, leaving corporate America had made me less of a fashion escapist... that’s food for thought... </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185529 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 23:39:43 +0000 cat2 2185529@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I would put pause on getting rid of things until a year after your country is actually out of the pandemic. I understand Germany is rolling out vaccines slowly in some states, and I think it’s premature to make decisions now about what work opportunities will be available. It’s also hard to start a new relationship! </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185526 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 23:31:12 +0000 Sal 2185526@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I do understand what you mean, and empathise with what you are saying.&nbsp; I don't think there is anything wrong with keeping these pieces for possibilities ahead.&nbsp; I think it is good to check in regularly though, because you keep changing and your views do too.</p> <p>For example, I used to keep a pencil skirt for work, smart requirements.&nbsp; I would not choose that at the moment for those occasions, and whilst I might in 5 years time, I honestly think I would have moved on from this particular skirt.</p> <p>I have a sentimental section of my closet with pieces that I really don't think I will wear again.&nbsp; I hope one day to have people in my life that might want to borrow these pieces..... (my sons do not have partners nor show any interest in the 1987 puff ball dress)</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185517 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 22:55:34 +0000 Jenn 2185517@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I guess I come at this from another perspective in leaning into the idea that I am not my possessions. The things I own travel with me for a certain part of my life until, at some point, they don’t any more. They’re impermanent. </p> <p>I’m impermanent too—not just in the “we’re all going to die someday” sense, but from one day to the next. My experiences and perceptions change so I’m not the same person I was ten years ago or even yesterday. </p> <p>I’m not cavalier about my possessions, replacing them on a whim. I’m just really mindful of not holding them so tight they hold me back.</p> <p>ETA: The way this plays out is that I really prioritize buying for right now, but of course I look ahead when it’s impractical not to. I rarely equate possessions with possibility, though. They are two separate things. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185499 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 20:51:43 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2185499@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>LaPed, that’s another point about keeping things long term, and a good one!</p> <p>Ophelia, smart move to eBay them; you’ll be ready if your dreams come true, but haven’t spent much money on them yet. My “Florida winter coat” was my puffy vest with faux fur-lined hood from Hollister (yes, the teen store). Wearing it made me ridiculously happy. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185492 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 20:38:10 +0000 LaPed 2185492@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think most people keep certain sorts of things that may go unworn for long stretches of time. Occasion wear, costumes, interview outfits (another kind of costume!), beach capsule for those who live inland, winter/snow capsule for those in mild climates, etc. I think the questions are how much space you’re willing to let those things take up (physically, mentally, emotionally), how long to keep them, and how often to reassess/update. Terrible to think you have the perfect interview suit only to find out it no longer fits when you actually need it. Or that the elastic in your bathing suit disintegrated in storage (true story!). Long term storage, for me, also means dealing with moth and rodent issues. I like to have the solid majority of my wardrobe “in use” with just a handful of aspirational, “what if?” and “remember when?” pieces. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185479 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 19:24:57 +0000 ophelia 2185479@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I believe in the geographical cure, which, by logic, means I believe in its inverse. Living somewhere for which you are unsuited, environmentally, culturally-or better yet, all of the ways—wears on a person if one has to get out in the world.<br /> A few months ago, I ebayed what I think is a real winter coat (amusingly, the seller is in the same state) &amp; a few pairs of jeans-I had none. I wouldn’t (and can’t) sink a lot of money into aspirational items but they sure can do a bit for one’s mental wellbeing: hope lives. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185475 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 19:15:23 +0000 Irina 2185475@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I can think of one example from my own experience. In the last 2-3 years I bought 6 or so pieces of the summer “event “ clothing. Last year, pre-COVID, I had 2 events to attend. They were cancelled and I didn’t go anywhere. Would I need these pieces in my real life? Is it an impulse to buy for my imaginary life? I don’t know, I certainly do not have a goal in mind. Maybe be I will have an opportunity to wear it once in year. Maybe not. But I keep it anyway because I like it. It makes me happy to have in my closet, as irrational as it sounds. It is not a big portion of my wardrobe, everything else is in use, at least before pandemic it was. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185470 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 18:52:17 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2185470@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>“ We as modern women can wear nice undies with or without a man!”. So true, Cardiff! I will certainly hold onto and wear the chemises, garter belts, and bras. It’s the more dramatic items I’m unsure about, but hey, they’re small! Thank you for the good wishes on the job search. I need to spend less time worrying and more time applying. </p> <p>Suz, how cool that you get to wear those boots! And you are quite right that I’m not ready to give up on the idea of myself having a productive career. That continues to remain an important part of my identity, even though I’m not working now. As my son prepares over the next year to leave the nest; I will certainly want /need an identity other than “mom”. Seeing a sister who does not have that this weekend made it really clear to me that I must get going on it. </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185466 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 18:43:25 +0000 Cardiff girl 2185466@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>I think that you have articulated why we find it so hard to let go of certain things.clothes can be a physical representation of our hopes and aspirations and a vessel for memories of times past.<br />l have a paticular draw towards luxury fabrics,silk,velvet,and the like but l do not have a luxury fabric lifestyle and therefore they hang unworn in the wardrobe just in case l spoil them!Recently l have been selling these off and vowing not to buy such things again but it’s taken me along time to acknowledge that l was never going to get to wear them.<br />lm sorry that you have had such a hard time job hunting,l think it was very brave of you to make the move that you have done.Fingers crossed that as the vaccines roll out your situation will become better.<div>As for the undies,why don’t you keep what you feel nice in.We as modern women can wear nice undies with or without a man!</div> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185458 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 18:23:13 +0000 Suz 2185458@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>Your examples mostly relate to items already purchased -- in a holding zone. So they'll resonate the most for people a). who tend to hold onto older items and b). whose lifestyles/ situations might have changed, e.g. retirees who can't bear to part with the old (beloved) corporate clothes or former party-goers who've stopped going to galas but have to decide about the gowns in their closets. I think <b>Jenni</b> had to make some tough decisions like this about some of her things. (Not for those reasons but same idea). Part of the difficultly, as you've expressed, is that you're not quite ready to let go of the version of <b>yourself</b> those clothes represented. Clothes are emotional, for sure!</p> <p>My own clearest example is with the (rather large!) wardrobe of semi-dressy slightly refined booties I amassed while living in Ontario. In theory, they were "perfect." The fit was great, the comfort, they worked with my outfits and, hey, they were boots, right -- so they *should* have worked for my climate.&nbsp;</p> <p>Trouble was, they were too refined and delicate for my small city and its very salty, slushy, difficult to navigate winter streets. And too hot for its hot summers. So they almost never got worn and I felt guilty and had to go out and buy more actual <b>BOOTS,</b> like snow boots.&nbsp;</p> <p>However, uncharacteristically, I held onto a bunch of them and with my move to a new climate, they became workhorses. They weren't overly dressy for my sartorial preferences. But they didn't work with my climate. </p> <p>I kept them because I knew I was going to move soon and live in a different climate. So it made sense to hang onto them for a while. Had the move not transpired after a couple of years I would have got rid of them.&nbsp;</p> <p>For me, getting that balance right is always the key and it's the one area where I tend to go wrong -- I will favour sartorial preference in my purchases, but favour climate and practicality when it comes to actually wearing the item. I'm learning. Slowly. <b>Buy for the climate, Suz</b>.&nbsp;</p> <p> </p> https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/topic/goals-vs-imaginary#post-2185448 Thu, 08 Apr 2021 17:27:37 +0000 Stagiaire Fash 2185448@https://youlookfab.com/welookfab/ <p>One of the points in Angie’s blog today is the need to buy for our actual lives, rather than for imaginary lifestyles. That absolutely makes sense. Sometimes though, it can be difficult to know what’s real and what’s not:</p> <p>• When I gained weight, I absolutely wanted to lose it again, and felt that getting rid of smaller clothing would be declaring that I didn’t have faith in myself that I’d do it. I even occasionally bought new “goal” pieces to incentivize the body reshaping. I still have a little bit to go, and am still using the same techniques, but now need to decide where the cutoff is for large sized pieces to keep. I feel good that the weight loss was real and that I was right to hold clothes for it. </p> <p>• a year before our move to Germany, I began planning for it. For example, I put together a warm weather fall capsule in colors that work for me instead of the usual orange, brown, or sage. When I packed it away at the end of the season, I included some long pants and sweaters that I couldn’t wear with it in Florida. I think I made the right choice about my real life, even though it was a way off. </p> <p>• I expected I’d have assistance looking for work in Germany. That hasn’t panned out, and I’ve been stymied by the pandemic. I have the same feeling that I did about the weight loss, that giving up the wardrobe for a return to my career would be giving up on my chances to ever get back there. Sometimes though, I wonder if I’m just fooling myself. </p> <p>• a sillier, smaller version is the lingerie in my storage locker. I’m happy to have my simple mesh body stocking back, and will certainly wear the bras and chemises. I might use the garter belts. But there are some pieces that I can’t decide about. It’s been a long time since I wore them, but I hate the idea of putting away my sexuality forever. I hate the idea of clinging to things hoping for a man, but honestly can’t see wearing something like a burnout velvet gown hanging out at home with my son or by myself. Then again, he’s probably only going to live with me for one more year. </p> <p>When have you needed to decide what was your real life and what was just imaginary? How did you make the choice, what did you decide, and how did it turn out in the end? </p>